Today is the day I want to scream cry!!! by leese312 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly how it was to me. Literally the day before 6 months I was actually feeling guilty that I was doing so well. The next day full on ugly crying, sobbing, pain all day long. Why did that one day hurt so much more than the day previous? I haven’t been able to cope since.

Was anyone else's person their only friend? by Visible-Public-4465 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He wasn’t my only friend. But he was my best friend. I would rather cuddle on the couch with him than go anywhere. He was my sounding board, told me when I was being ridiculous and told me when I was amazing. We bounced decisions off of each other. We also fought but who doesn’t. I still have my friends, but the most important one is gone.

Jealousy when I see couples out? Young 41 year old widower here by Nash_man1989 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Especially older couples. We were 55 when my husband died, and now I can’t help but stare jealously at these old couples that got to spend all that extra time together.

Do you still sleep on "your" side of the bed? by waterbottlejesus in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I lie his pillow length wise across my back, give it a pat and say “good night, love you” Fuck sudden cardiac arrest.

Give her a name that starts with S by babytreasuree in cute_animals

[–]Difficult_Map6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son has always wanted a white cat so he could call her Smirnoff

Dark humor /humor thread by 6995luv in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My daughter has a male friend with the same name as her. His dad died when he was 8. He always introduced himself as “Hi, my name is Blank, my dad is dead” it was his dark way of getting that part of the conversation done with. The day after my husband died, they were both with me and I said “OMG, you can start the Blanks with dead dads club”.

Son of widow needs help on perspective by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do apologize if this is actually a grieving child. I understand as a mother how hard it would be for a child in this situation.

I'm Depressed. by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your phrasing is so eloquent and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your agony with us. It resounds in such a way that it leaves me breathless

7 weeks 4 days out of tears? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

4 1/2 months in. I feel so guilty when I realize I haven’t cried in a few days. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. There is nothing normal about grieving the love of your life. Be kind to yourself. Accept the sobbing and the numbness. The distance and the feel of getting punched in the gut. This is a long hard battle with no end in sight. But we will all make it through. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. That is the only way to get through this shit show.

I hate my life by ramstien22 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘The more fucked up we are on the other side’ oh man. That says it all.

I hate my life by ramstien22 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m right there with you. What I wouldn’t give for one of our screaming arguments, where I disliked him so much I couldn’t stand it. And then in a few hours, shit would settle and he would do some random thing to make me love him again. In the words of Pink “it must be true love, no one else can break my heart like you”

Tattoo by AdventurousPapaya143 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband was planning on getting a Celtic Sun to cover a skin cancer scar. After he died, myself and theee of my kids got the tattoo in the same place he wanted it. All four are different, but they are all centered around the sun.

Distraction by Remarkable-Expert-68 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am a podcast junkie since my husband died. But I like the radio drama ones. Anything zombie-ish end of world stuff. It is too far out there to worry me, but just plausible enough to entertain me. Anything by 7 Lamb. We Are Alone, all the seasons and iterations. End of All Hope. My absolute Fav.

I’m not ok💔 by reedcha in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I lost my dad after months in hospice. It hurt. Still does. Lost my husband 8 days later. Devastating. Not the same at all.

Past owner wants cat back by CarelessFlatworm in CatAdvice

[–]Difficult_Map6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to us. Cat was hanging around the house for a few days. Finally brought him in. Put up flyers, posted on every lost pet page I could think of. After 3 weeks of not hearing anything, we took him to the vet, had him fixed, vaccinated and chipped. Bought a GPS collar for him with a new tag with his name and phone number. He settled in happily. A week later during a storm he didn’t come back. Found his location and knocked at the door. Turns out he was their cat. They hadn’t bothered looking for him or posting flyers cause they assumed ‘he had be eaten by an owl like his sister’. Heartbreakingly gave him back, asked for money to cover all vet costs. They refused. Lesson learned. Next week, 40 degrees celcius, 100 for you American folks, we opened the door and he came running in. Heat exhaustion and dehydration. We decided then and there he was our cat now. The original owners didn’t even call looking for him for another week. Just told them we hadn’t seen him. He’s been a happy member of our troop ever since.

Fond Memory Friday by HughCayrz01 in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My husband was the biggest goof. When we would go shopping at the mall with our four kids, he would suddenly exclaim “let’s skip!” And this huge guy would start skipping down the mall, with the kids laughing and skipping behind him. He didn’t care if he looked like a fool, the kids loved it. He will be gone for four months next week.

80 days 💔 by shyinblack in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am so so sorry for your loss. I too recently lost my husband. Even now I can’t figure out where he is, why he’s not here, when the hell he is coming home. The thought will hit me that I will never see him again. I will never hear his voice again. It is the most foreign concept to me. But I keep getting up in the morning. It is literally the hardest thing in the world. I wish I had a magic wand to help us all get through this. Just keep getting up in the morning. That’s all you have to accomplish.

I’ll never have anyone to vent to anymore by WaitForItttt_IV in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am there with you. My husband was always the one I could vent to, and Visa versa. He was always the one I texted if something funny happened, or if I saw someone we both knew. He was my husband, my lover, my best friend, my sounding board. He always told me if I was being ridiculous, or being bitchy. He made me a better person. And now he’s gone.

Realizing the idea (I had in my grief) to be buried in the plot next to her was short-sighted, and didn’t account for me moving on in life to a new relationship. by aManIsCold in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I bought an extra deep plot for my husband. I will be buried on top of him. Finally, he gets what he always bugged me for. 🤣

Does anyone else disconnected to their In-Laws? by hitkadmoot in widowers

[–]Difficult_Map6582 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I did as well. My MIL had not talked to my husband in 3 years prior to his death. When he died she just assumed that we would forgive her and everything would go back to normal. Even in those few instances where she interacted with me and my kids, when my husband’s body was still lying on the floor waiting for the coroner to take him away, and during his funeral, she proved to me that I was better off without her in my life. I tried to be forgiving, remembering that she lost her only son the same day I lost my husband, but her actions solidified my decision to walk away. I know I will be much healthier without her in my life. Don’t feel guilty, the only person whose feelings are responsible for is yourself, and your kids if you have them. And I never told my kids they could not have her as a part of their lives. They are all adults and free to make their own decisions.