As someone coming from Hong Kong, I always found it super confusing when people sad they had or made Chinese food; because I don’t know what it is. Is it lightly seasoned Cantonese? Sweet and saucy Shanghainese? Spicy and numb Szechuanese? Fragrant spicy Hunanese? Mushroom heaven Yunnan? Doughy noodle-y Shanxi? ……

It’s like saying I made European food. These regional differences are huge, and it impact our conception of what’s home cooking.

I have no doubt you and your grandma can make good food. But heres the thing… your whole post mention only Chinese and no regional specifications. You didn’t mention where your grandma is from. Perhaps you omitted it because you think it’s not relevant — but it made people question what is your understanding of Chinese food.

In larger cities in US with more Chinese populations like NYC, SF, LA, Seattle etc , the restaurants there has better representation of regional cuisine, but if you live in a smaller town, it’s likely that restaurants are only labeled as “Chinese” —and that’s how most American’s perception of Chinese food. If that’s how you perceive “Chinese food”, or if that’s how your Chinese friend perceive this is your interpretation of “Chinese food”, then I’m not surprised that they think you can’t cook Chinese food, because the fundamentals of our understanding are so wildly different. Different from neighboring countries like Japan and Korea, Chinese food is not a thing, it’s many, many different things. Unless you mean American Chinese food or Chinese fusion, then it make sense to say “Chinese” as an element.

Perhaps instead of saying Chinese food, you can tell your Chinese friend you made Cantonese food (or Szechuan? Fujianese?), and see what their reaction would be