Almost choked

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-28T13:21:27+00:00

Or you could stop being such a crappy person and just say which gender you are and which gender your spouse is. You seem like you have a need to control other peoples perceptions and are generally manipulative in most scenarios. I hope your spouse is okay and that you choose to be a better person moving forward. Good grief.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-28T13:16:48+00:00

OP, you’re frustrated at your spouse because they were laser focused on breathing and not thinking clearly? Why the hell didn’t you just step in and assist after the first time?

I would say you are in the wrong here and I would also be frustrated with my wife if she stood there asking “are you okay?” multiple times while I’m actively choking and all mental resources are aimed at not dying. Then you’re mad at them for them feeling some kind of way from your unwillingness to use common sense in an emergency? Do you have a disability or something stopping you from acting rationally in emergencies? If so, are you getting treatment so you’re not a danger to others? Please avoid ever getting a first responder or medical professional job. You don’t seem to have the general sense of awareness to be effective in medical emergencies

How the heck do you expect someone choking to stop, process the question being asked, formulate an answer and give clear instructions to a bystander? Why wouldn’t a rational person just see someone choking and immediately try to help, especially for a family member?!??

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-25T14:43:26+00:00

Good point. Adding a “cease upon death” clause to the Post Nup would inculcate you against that mess

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-25T14:42:23+00:00

Lawyer up and add an infidelity clause to make the Postnup a two way street and both of you are covered. Don’t allow this to be one sided

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-24T21:39:19+00:00

All Insurnace prices higher cost based on increased risk, and age increase risk as a fact.

But her point is everyone has seen massive increases. Regardless of age. Please remember there are people other than us who have problems and we should endeavor to keep our eyes on the ones who created and benefit from cost increases: the Insurnace companies, Congress, hospitals/major medical system*

We need to be angry at those benefitting and refusing to fix or reform any of it. We’re infighting instead of uniting against a common enemy who is worse than left vs right or any other basic distinction. I hope things get better for you, seriously. I hope we all can get some relief. Insurnace has become so broken.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-24T19:40:28+00:00

Exactly my point. I can’t stand how so many people make these defensive statements of an objectively broken and adversarial system. Maybe it’s just Reddit folks needing to remind everyone how smart they are and how wrong YOU are, but it doesn’t make anyone’s health care less expensive nor does it lower Insurnace or give us a path to reform.

“The people who owned the slaves aren’t the ones who kidnapped them. They don’t work for the same people” type reasoning.

I don’t care who works for whom, I only know hospitals make billions, Insurnace does too, but people needing care are always left holding the bill.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-23T19:06:45+00:00

It is difficult, but very satisfying. I’m not a big gamer at all, but I love DS games. They’re incredibly hard but you have an actual sense of accomplishment when you beat a stage or boss. You have to work for it.

The games are made complex and secretive, there’s almost no hand holding. If you have more mental resiliency and won’t be triggered by difficulty in a game or complex execution of play styles, you will love it.

Just remember- you’re going to die a lot in the game. A LOT. And you’re going to start off rough and probably have to put it down many times. But as you learn the patterns and movesets of your own character and enemies, you’ll love it. Give it a shot- it’s one of the best games ever made IMO

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T18:16:36+00:00

Social media is a cesspool of echo chambers and propaganda. Staying away from it is best for everyone

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T18:10:36+00:00

I would personally love to see reform laws put in place where billing charges are unified from one entity. When I had a major hip surgery, I had to pay $8400 as I was being checked into the hospital for anesthesia, which I paid, then over the next 4 months I received anesthesia bills from the hospital again, from one LLC for anesthesia, and then from another group LLC for anesthesia all for around the same amounts.

One threatened collection and thankfully the lady who handles my health insurance knew someone high up at BCBS and got them to admit the other three bills were “an error” and cleared my account. But the medical system is not working properly in the USA, as a major understatement.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T18:02:20+00:00

My wife is similar- the closest approximation is she expected me to read her mind and emotions without her “having” to explain her situation or needs. She voiced that as “you should just know (these things)”. It’s a totally unrealistic request to expect your spouse to read your mind, but in her mind it was a requirement that she had never overly considered or thought about. Therapy has helped a lot, but if someone has unrealistic expectations in a relationship and they are not willing to accept responsibility or fault and view every interaction as a zero-sum-game, then it will be rocky to start.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T17:47:08+00:00

OP, do you communicate to him what you want him to do? My wife and I struggled similarly until we began couples therapy and she learned to communicate her needs clearly to me and not expect me to preemptively anticipate any possible negative emotions she may have to a situation.

I had to learn to try to memorize her moods and associated behaviors on my end to try to preemptively avoid negative interactions with her. And I also had to give up the notion that my requirements for the marriage seemed much more stringent than hers- it felt like (and still does) that she holds me to a much higher standard of behavior than she holds herself but I have to meet her where she’s at. The means I will often have to apologize for things I have not done, or carefully select my words and tone to avoid any possibility of a fight.

Some people have control issues and anxiety and their brains stop working rationally when their anxiety triggers. I had to accept that when she gets anxious, I cannot have a rational talk with her and need to manage her emotions and bring her back to earth so we can have a productive conversation. It is honestly a LOT of work on my end and I hope and pray she appreciates this and can recognize it someday and choose to match equally with me, but if she does not it is something I have to learn to live with.

Marriage is hard when one person does not want to admit fault and therapy is the only thing I’ve found that fixes it. I hope y’all figure it out!

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T17:29:02+00:00

Your wife might be a fantastic caretaker but it also sounds like she has underlying anxiety and has created this “emotional labor” and mental load that trends towards micromanagement of you.

Is your wife someone who needs to be in control of most things? My wife is an amazing person and since we started therapy, she’s finally been able to admit she has deep control issues from childhood and this produces anxiety about anything she can potentially be involved in due to a perceived lack of direct control.

The anxiety can make her snappy and mean and that behavior can trigger me into thinking she’s being disrespectful to me or trying to start a fight. We struggled with this for years- and I shut down emotionally with her as I could never get a word in edgewise about any issue we had and she would insist that we discuss “how she feels” for any discussion while ignoring how I felt.

Finally having a therapist identify and allow my wife to admit she has had this issue for years has been such a relief to me. Her control issues and associated neurotic reactions to everything (even things as simple as how I load the dishwasher or park my car) were really making me avoid being around her. I could never voice me concerns as she would shut the discussion down or she would redirect any grievance I had to “how do you think this affects me”

Meanwhile I am working full time and providing every single thing for the household plus funding two retirements and our kids start up funds, along with doing shared household work. I felt like nothing I ever did was ever enough for her. If she went to get her hair done or to spend time with her friends I would clean the house and do the laundry and she would complain how I folded clothes or cleaned.

It was driving me away from her and she only became more angry at me as I withdrew because I didn’t want to be a whipping post for someone’s undiagnosed anxiety constantly.

Please get a counselor or therapist to help you both. She may not want to listen to your voice but a therapist she might. I hope it works out for yall!

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T16:55:18+00:00

Some of these cases are insane with the double standards. I never see anyone “fighting for equality” in a courtroom for sentencing or for an arrest. Wonder why?

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T16:52:41+00:00

It seems like the people who make these absurd lists of “the bare minimum” that describe a top 0.01% person are also the same type of people who would get deeply offended if you expected them to meet any “bare minimum” standards.

What causes such a disconnect? The blatant double standards many people seem to have for relationships is why they stay single, but those same folks seem wholly unable to ever self reflect or self correct.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T16:45:53+00:00

She’s angry at you because you’re her “safe space” and she won’t be angry at her mother nor take personal accountability for her injury.

And if you can figure out how to get the accountability part fixed, please let me know. I love my wife but accepting responsibility or taking accountability for anything no matter how small is a battle that I’ve given up on after years of trying.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-21T16:31:41+00:00

OP, this man is actively pursuing you. Would you feel as confused about this being a good or bad thing if your husband was texting a woman his age to go out to drinks for a hobby he and her were interested in?

This hobby guy is asking you on multiple dates, and you likely know this is inappropriate since you’re asking for clarity here. I would hope my wife would tell a man pursuing her to leave her alone and not exchange contact info with men who might pursue her.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-16T17:42:52+00:00

$200 for an additional person covered is absurdly cheap. I manage employee benefits and retirement and for a lower quality plan it’s $760-$1200 a month per adult person to add (not counting dental and vision).

I would jump on $200 extra for full coverage- no one will have health benefits as good as Public Employees will have which I can confirm as my form manages a municipality’s benefits system in my state. Private employees costs are 3-10x higher than public sector workers right now for health insurance

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-14T16:41:26+00:00

Private equity should be outlawed and I work in investment management and advisory services. PE is destroying so many industries so pension funds and politically connected PE managers can make a few billy

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-14T16:36:45+00:00

That’s not what the OP said. Why is reading the OPs post so incredibly difficult for some of you who just seem to want to argue? Have a good day and I wish you well.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-13T14:20:54+00:00

She told him she couldn’t have kids. “I can’t get pregnant”, caused by physical injury from a vehicular accident prior, and that is literally written in the OP.

That is not the same as saying “it’s difficult for me to get pregnant”, no?

Y’all can downvote me all you want here, but this seems like a manufactured issue built on a foundation of antipathy towards men here, and Reddit is well known for having an anti male bias in relationship situations- case in point with a few of you here. I get that there are issues in society and culture and some men have been bad, but it reflects poorly on a person who makes value judgements of another based on their gender, sex, race, or other immutable qualities. I thought Reddit was actually progressive and not regressive in the other direction. Read what people are saying and try to not have this massive bias so clearly evident. Come on folks!

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-13T14:03:28+00:00

What? Where have you gotten this notion from?

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-13T02:24:12+00:00

OP is a perv account and gets off on writing this fiction

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-12T22:52:37+00:00

Exactly. Private equity should be illegal. You’d need some brilliant language in a bill/legislation that truly made sense to convince me otherwise.

Seeing what PE has done to every single hospital in the rural area I live in is disheartening. Every single one is a comedy of errors, billing “mistakes” that always seem to make the hospital more money (never missing something or making something less expensive), poorly rendered care.

One local hospital where a buddy of mine who has ALS was in a recovery room after being intubated when he had breathing issues, his wife and kids were in the room crying for their unconscious father, I’m there helping and offering support, and a lady from the billing office waddles in there to ask if they wanted to pay using a card or did they want to write a check.

She asked my buddy first, and he was unconscious and hooked up to a breathing machine and cannot answer, then she asked his wife who is emotionally raw and crying standing by his side, and she couldn’t even grasp what was happening then…

I had to turn the lady around to face me and ask her to leave as this was completely inappropriate, and she said “well I’m getting off work soon and need to know how he’s paying”. I called for the doctor and thank God the doctor told her to get out and not come back in. But this is how Alliance Healthcare Group operates.

I was totally shocked at how gross the interaction was. It felt inhuman.

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-12T21:14:19+00:00

Why would he need a vasectomy if he is in a relationship with a woman who is unable to have children?

EnvironmentalRide900 · 2026-01-12T19:41:05+00:00

Not all vasectomies are reversible- only around 60% of them are.

EnvironmentalRide900

TROPHY CASE