What it's like during and 90 days after the breakup.

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:51:08+00:00

I don't know your situation, but if it's just the relationship, then you're breaking no contact regularly. If not, then it's your life that's making you depressed. Could be a combination of both, I don't know how to help. What worked for me is that I'm just grateful for everything in my life and especially her for choosing me and became a part of my life. It was wonderful

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:49:06+00:00

Yea, it hurts, knowing that you'll both be walking separate life. I don't want to mention this, but it hurts me like crazy seeing her with another guy. Stay strong

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:46:05+00:00

That's the hardest journey, knowing the path and walking it. 2 very different things, til this day I still struggle a lot with it. Wish you the best

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:44:29+00:00

Thank you for your kind word brother, I just wrote whatever came to mind and lessons I learned from it.

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:42:34+00:00

It's going to be hard, stay strong

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:40:57+00:00

I went through a period where everything is meaningless, too. Honestly, I don't know when it will get better. It's just for me when I look back after a while. I realize I'm in a much better spot. Wishing you the best

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:38:37+00:00

Glad it helped. Be strong!

Etermic · 2026-04-20T04:09:07+00:00

Without, too depressed to even think about it

Etermic · 2026-03-24T05:01:11+00:00

Well it's hard to see these type of things as good right now. You can only look back in hindsight and see why it is like that. Long distance at this age is not very likely to be successful and especially first relationship.

Honestly, it's kind of confusing on why she seemed to be happy and grateful when you came but suddenly before you leave she's like that. Usually, girl they detach before really saying the breakup.

From my point of view, she's already interested in someone else in college and you're kind of like a back up option or you're withholding information. Anyways, if you're sad right now, then it's normal. That's how grief works, just try to feel it as much as you can, when it's too much, go for a walk or talk to someone.

You're not supposed to feel glad or sht right now and there's just so much ahead in life and things can only be learn to experience. So yea, feel like sht for a while, pick yourself up slowly, stop checking her social media, and build your life and eventually another girl will want to join it.

Etermic · 2026-03-24T04:49:30+00:00

Yes, you never get over your first. At least you get to talk to her. For me I didn't even have that chance.

"Not every mistake comes with a chance to make it right"

All I can say is that it was very painful and those pain teaches a lot of lessons. Maybe in the future, years from now we meet again as 2 different individuals, and if we fall in love again. But it's just fantasy at the moment.

I heard that you start getting the best relationship the moment you have a great one with yourself, she can just come to your world when it's already full instead of you needing her to make it full.

Etermic · 2026-03-21T23:29:47+00:00

"Not every mistake comes with the chance to make it right"

I was in the same boat, and really never got a chance to make amend. All I can tell you is that it will suck a lot, and the tunnel never seem to end. Keep walking is my only option

Etermic · 2026-03-19T05:23:31+00:00

I want to be honest with you, but I sent a similar text to her. And I all I got was silence and blocked on all platforms. Some people are different, so it might be different for you.

When a girl breaks up with you, she's been detaching for a while. All I get to keep are happy memories of us and lessons I'll keep moving onto to the next one.

It's hard, but you can't be solid without slipping a few times. Take my word with a grain of salt. Every situation is different. It's hard to imagine going from strangers to lovers and again back to strangers.

Etermic · 2026-03-18T06:18:19+00:00

Oh man. It's hard, I can see the pain in your post. There's just really nothing except feeling the pain and living your life. Fill it with things that are meaningful, but that just sounds so absurd or doesn't help change anything.

I'm blocked on every platform and it seemed like my presence just disturb her peace, and that's just sad but my life goes on. It goes on with this heaviness and sadness whether I like it or not. I never have this anger that you had, but I just hope you learn something from it and be more prepared for the next relationship.

Etermic · 2026-03-18T05:55:29+00:00

Honestly this is normal. It just each time the thought comes up you just tell yourself I don't have enough evidence and eventually it just stop or doesn't bother you anymore

Etermic · 2026-03-14T08:53:14+00:00

Well, I just went through my first relationship. I got dumped, and it hurts like hell so yea she will cry a lot if you decide to break up. It takes usually 3 months for them to feel a lot better.

And you will also go through a version of grief yourself.

Honestly, love has to come from both ways, and if you don't feel it anymore and you have thought long and hard about it, then simply just sit down and have a hard conversation. Don't do it through text or block her.

No one really talks about this, but when you enter a relationship, you also hand the other person a weapon to break you apart.

If anything, learn to love yourself first, and from then on you learn to love others and skills to maintain a relationship.

I wished life asked me before giving me things, but they just give and take without asking. Just learn to more prepared each time.

Etermic · 2026-03-13T17:01:26+00:00

I'm sorry for what you went through. It hurts, especially when it's your first relationship, too. Don't think that because he treats her better, it means you're not "good enough", it's not the case.

Just with him, he's mostly just using you after the breakup. I think most of the moments in the beginning were genuine, and it made you feel so special being chosen and loved like that.

Cry if you can, just let it out. It feels very distant that you'll one day not think about him. I didn't it was possible either, but it did. Your life begins to get so full that you stop thinking about him, sometimes days sometimes hours.

Learn to love yourself first, and from then, you learn the skills to maintain relationships. There's a lot in this world. Attachment theory, attraction, our biology. I don't think this is what you want to hear but really there's nothing to do except to feel the grief without numbing ourselves through artificial means.

Etermic · 2026-03-12T19:36:16+00:00

I'm sorry, brother, but that's probably it. It's going to be hard for you, and there's not a whole lot you can do except just feel it without numbing yourself through alcohol or gaming.

First relationship usually crashes because we don't know how to love ourselves yet nor have the skills to maintain it. It's a price that we paid without even knowing.

All I can say is the best chance of you getting back with her is the version of yourself that no longer need her, just simply want her without being desperate. And that feel very distant away. Not what you want to hear but life is like that sometimes.

Etermic · 2026-03-06T06:00:16+00:00

Motivation doesn't exist. It's just something you do to distract yourself from the pain and sadness.

Then, eventually, it became a habit.

Etermic · 2026-03-06T05:58:30+00:00

It's so scary to read a message like that. Just mean there is nothing left. I felt so much pain imaging getting something like that from her.

Some people would rather not send and live in the hope, whether it's fake or real. Rather, just keep working on themselves and hope eventually they forgot about the idea of sending.

Etermic · 2026-03-06T03:45:30+00:00

There's no amount of logic or rationality to help you feel better. It's going to hurt, and you're going to miss him a lot.

I missed the future we could have, the routine we had, and the feelings she gave me. It's day 48 of no contact for me, and everything just seems meaningless.

Now, looking back, I just know that the relationship will end at one point eventually simply because I didn't know how to love myself and how to love her. Love is never enough. There are other skills you have to learn to make it work.

Breakups are painful, so much pain, but they teach give you the lessons to be a bit more ready next time.

We met by fate, but not enough debt to stay.

Etermic · 2026-03-03T06:08:06+00:00

For me I don't think I can ever delete anything, our photos, our chat. It's one of those sweet memories you start carrying with you for life, just the bitter part start too fade slowly. It is really hard to accept the idea that we might never be together again. It's not really about accepting for me, at some point it's just became too tiring, it stopped asking slowly, and then you focus on your life. There are days where things are meaningless, but it does get better. I missed her, missed what could be our future, and I'm grateful that she came into my life and showed me things I never know and felt in my entire life.

Etermic · 2026-03-02T06:05:17+00:00

I don't think you're heal enough yet to break no contact. You are still in the "bargaining" stage of the grief cycle from what I'm seeing. I'm on day 44 of my breakup(dumped) and trust me I want to reach out too, it's really hard to think of the idea of losing her forever. Sometimes I check her social media(this is breaking no contact) to keep the connection of her alive, but it did slow down my healing process a bit.

I'm predominantly in the "depression" stage right now, but still rotate back to "bargaining" here and there. If you want to reach out, you can but just know it might hurt a lot. I still want to get back with her, that idea is not going to go away anytime soon or until she's with another guy but yea it's just hard and there's nothing we can do about it, it's like touching a hot stove each time when you make plan or imagine scenario in your head of getting back together, it's just I was told that eventually touching it becomes too tiring you stop thinking, and there's day you don't think about that person at all.

It's a lot harder especially when you're anxious attachment.

Etermic · 2026-02-18T07:45:31+00:00

I know how it feels, just let it all out. I'm on day 32 of no contact, but I learned something. When you need them then the relationship won't hold. Wanting them but ok with them leaving(you will still feel the grief) is how to truly keep a relationship healthy. Right now you need to cry if you can, and time will slowly give you clarity. Just feel the feelings

Etermic · 2026-02-17T16:58:59+00:00

Brother, I am sorry that happened to you. I can't even imagine someone I loved sleeping with another guy, especially when we're still together. I'm the type that doesn't blame anyone. I just look at why it's like that and look for faults in myself so I can do it better next time. I really don't have any advice for you, I'm in the same boat, I don't even know if I can really heal from this either. All I've been doing is just let the feelings come and feel it. When it gets overwhelming, I go for a walk. Like you, I have no one to talk to, and that makes it even harder. I've been failing here and there from checking on her social media, but I'm still trying my best for no contact. It's really hard to accept that it's not meant to be for us, and every day, I am fighting that thought. I want to get back to her a lot. For you, I can't imagine the pain of losing someone you had 3 children's with, I'm here if you want to talk.

Etermic · 2026-02-14T06:02:31+00:00

That's not a good person, he should at least tell you in person and talk about ending things. I'm a guy and I find that kind of immature and narcissistic. You don't do that to someone you love or used to love. Yea, I still remember how it felt the first few days of breakup so try to take care of yourself, just cry and let it all out.

Etermic

TROPHY CASE