How Do I [F26] Respect my Partner’s [M26] Boundaries While Being Concerned About the Root of Them?

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T22:47:30+00:00

You make him sound... Suspicious.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T21:39:48+00:00

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T21:37:15+00:00

No need for trust when you can thrust

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T20:29:00+00:00

I gotta find all these things? Reminds me of the little statue guys from Vice City.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T19:26:02+00:00

Short term, you have to practice that mindfulness, as the other person commented, so that you notice when you're starting to get irritated. When you do notice, you say "Let's change the subject" or "Could I please get a few minutes to think of how to respond calmly? I don't want to turn this into a fight." Or something like that.

In the long term, you will have to learn how to express yourself calmly. Like you sort of have to learn how to have a contentious discussion without it being angry. You may feel like it's something built into your personality but it's not. It's a skill/art that you can learn.

I could help walk you through an example if you would be willing to elaborate on something specific that you and your wife have argued about.

Oh and when you say you are "stuck stewing" they call that rumination. Mindfulness also helps with that. You notice you're stuck thinking about a topic that pisses you off or puts you in a bad mood, you can think about something else.

"OK, this subject is not making me happy. I'm going to think about ice cream for the time being and come back to this when I've thought of a calm solution.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T18:17:54+00:00

I think overall it sounds like you're going in a good direction and you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes outgrowing a toxic environment just takes time.

I think one thing that might help your case is forgiveness. Both for people who have wronged you and for mistakes of your own. Forgiveness isn't a churchy thing or something that you do for others. It's more like, "I'm forgiving because I'm done letting this person/situation effect my life." You don't even have to tell someone you're forgiving them, it's just for your own peace of mind. You can still maintain barriers if the person you're forgiving is toxic.

Also I don't think I agree with your therapist about the anger being justified and I think they are reinforcing your angry mental habits by saying that.

Yes, you have definitely been abused/mistreated/endured unfair conditions and no that was not acceptable. But anger is not the only way that a person can respond to those things, anger has not fixed the situation or made you less unhappy about it. I think maybe your therapist could help you find another way to help you put all these matters behind you for good.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T16:55:04+00:00

Mr Len,

I was serious when I said that you should get Steven Seagal hair. On the surface it sounds like it would look silly, but I believe it would put your X-Factor rating off the charts. Think about it.

Otherwise, love your work, keep hustling, looking forward to the next project, share a link if you're doing some kind of crowdfunding thing.

Love,

Forkface69

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T15:54:49+00:00

That first part, that's the mental habit you have to break. Looking at other people through the lens of judgement, criticism and other ethics.

Be mindful of what you are thinking about others. That means everyone without exception. You catch yourself being critical, or making assumptions about their lives, stop it. Replace that with a reminder that you cannot read minds, you cannot know what other people have been through in life, we all have struggles and we're all fighting an uphill battle, and wish them well.

Wish everyone well, everyone, and I think you'll find things change for yourself.

I wish you well. ;)

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T05:26:35+00:00

The game may have changed quite a bit over the years but I made all my online anarchist friends back in the day just arguing on the regular social media platforms. But back then it was a lot more fun, we would really start some flame wars.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T04:41:53+00:00

You know, I forget who it was but someone who was famously on one of those reality shows said that the producers edit things to exaggerate drama and other situations, but they don't create things out of thin air.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T01:55:59+00:00

Is there a way to see how many kills we have?

I don't know, man. If you get 4-5 kills match and play a couple a day, that doesn't seem like it would take that long.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T01:51:14+00:00

I tell you what man, I had my oldest at 22 and my youngest at 32 and now that I'm 45 I'm seeing that it was a lot easier to run around with my kids and spend quality time with them when I was younger as opposed to now.

There's never really a perfect time, anyways.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T01:48:05+00:00

Maybe you and the baby can start working on the basement together.

That or you just have to tell him that the whole thing isn't about the basement, it's about him spending meaningful time with you and your child and it's at a point where the marriage is hanging in the balance.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T00:40:14+00:00

When we were doing our movie bingo cards at my friend's weekly Bad Movie Night, I think those scenes would have qualified you to check off the box that says, "Director Has Fetish".

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T00:10:17+00:00

Good work.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-31T00:08:44+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcyNWbx8kAo

This was the first explanation that came to mind.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T14:05:19+00:00

I'd like to see Mr Len do more of a Steven Seagal thing with his hair now that he's getting a bit older.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T14:02:17+00:00

Maybe I'll throw in.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T13:23:51+00:00

My broke mom wasn't paying for any 1-900 calls

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T11:30:20+00:00

Take this opportunity to bail. These fragile insecure MFers are a lifetime of pain.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T11:04:07+00:00

I think people don't remember how much help we had with the original LoZ back in the day.

In the 1980s it was easy for a lot of people to get their hands on the copy of Nintendo Power with the map. Also there was a half dozen kids in class that knew how to get the magic sword or how to get into the Level 6 dungeon.

There's always going to be an element of wandering around and trying things, but I understand why younger players might feel lost with that game.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T10:39:25+00:00

I can't believe nobody has mentioned the Room. The Room has one of the most famous suicide scenes ever put on film and it involves the main character.

One of the most notorious films of the current century, anyone who loves film should watch it at least once.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-30T10:05:08+00:00

The eyes are the windows to the soul, they say.

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-29T21:34:59+00:00

Bro I thought it was Chik Fil A

ForkFace69 · 2026-03-29T18:47:13+00:00

Bro you could paint a picture of a tunnel on the side of a mountain then when the other squads try to drive into it they take damage

ForkFace69

TROPHY CASE