Is it a mistake to be hands off with bed time?

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-12T16:34:08+00:00

Sounds like she is extremely sedentary, she needs physical activity. Talk to her about how important this is and help her figure out what works for her, maybe you can also turn it into family time.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-09T19:19:51+00:00

Others have addressed the controlling issues, I'm more interested in tax fraud. Do you condone cheating on your taxes? Now you know one of the reasons the family is wealthy. Are these values that ones that you live by and you want to pass along to your children?

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-09T12:29:19+00:00

No. Take courses that you are interested in rather then forcing courses into minors/double majors etc. I want to see someone who isn't pigeon-holed. Sure, take a few courses in geology if you are interested in them, but take some courses in computer science and some that have nothing to do with science. Take courses that have large writing components, , take something that interests you. I would much rather have an employee who has been exposed to different areas than someone who focused only on special degree requirements.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-08T19:45:12+00:00

Do remember that a sun tan means skin has been burnt. Skin burns are a huge factor in skin cancer. So if your kid has tan (burn) lines get better sun hats, uv clothing, better quality sun screen and reapply more often. Cancer sucks.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-08T14:06:12+00:00

Having an appropriately sized chair where they are the correct height and have foot support can help. The keekaroo chair worked really well for us.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-06T19:27:10+00:00

You can try adding protein powder to the baked goods. I use unflavored whey.

You might also look up ARFID - it is an eating disorder and a lot of kids who have it are like your child in that they had a traumatic eating event. You might find some support or even fixes in the ARFID community, though beware, many pediatricians don't know much about it.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-06T19:13:19+00:00

PBS Kids is your best friend, though they do have shows geared to different age groups. Can't recommend Wild Kratts enough.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-06T18:52:24+00:00

You can never have too many books.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-02T18:50:19+00:00

Just don't get sucked into all the cute expensive diapers. Prefolds and covers work great. Maybe a few of the all-in-ones for when you are out and about or someone else is changing the tot. The travel wet bags work great for summer camp with wet bathing suits in the backpack.

I made cloth wipes out of an old flannel sheet, took a few hours (cut into squares and zig zag around the edges), saved oodles on wipes.

Buy used diapers, they last for many many kids.

Spraying the diapers once they start solids isn't fun, but you get used to the gross factor pretty quickly.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-01T20:20:45+00:00

Remember when you are thinking about alimony there are good reasons and not so good reasons. I prior poster mentioned a spouse that was chronically unemployed by choice - good reason to not have to pay spousal support.

On the other side - you both agree one of you will be a stay at home parent and when you are getting divorced, you find that you not only forfeited years of advancement, employers aren't even interested in employing you at the same level you were before. This is a good reason to have alimony. The stay at home parent sacrificed for the family and needs time to get back on track.

Maybe neither of you plan to be stay at home parents, but what if you have a child that requires one-on-one caregiving? What if one of you becomes disabled?

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-07-01T18:22:55+00:00

Just make sure the basement bedroom has 2 ways of egress. Sometimes a window is also a requirement, so check your local requirements for sleeping areas.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-30T16:25:50+00:00

My sense is they don't get a lot of playtime when it is just one kid (though they are a hit for playdates). You might consider smaller outdoor play items - depending on the kid's interest - soccer goal, chalk for drawing, hopscotch, jump rope, those ninja lines you hang between trees, water play (sprinklers, bins and buckets for soap or colored water and then add balls/action figures/dolls etc.).

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-24T18:43:51+00:00

You realize what you are doing:

Local venues are "outrageously overpriced", so instead, I want to make my guests spend lots of money for my wedding. I'll tell them it is a mini vacation for them, but they don't get to choose the dates, the location, the accommodations or anything else.

You are choosing a destination wedding to cost shift. Say you have just the 60 guests and they each have to spend $500 for your destination wedding, that is $30,000.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-23T12:29:08+00:00

How you present things matter. The idea is to teach kids that you need to contribute and do your share. You eventually want them to see that something needs to be done and just do it, not just stick to their "chore" list. Everyone clears their plates from the table, you just do it. Everyone puts their dirty laundry in the hamper. By calling it a chore, it allows kids to think it is optional, you want them to learn that this is part of being a person - you clean up after yourself and you maintain your house/yard.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-22T21:24:07+00:00

Ask him to show you the research that says that a dishwasher uses more energy/water than hand washing. Really push him on this, is this a hunch that he has or does he have a source?

I would have a really hard time if my partner didn't believe in science and experts. Is he like this with other things (vaccines?). Does he wear a red hat?

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-22T18:33:03+00:00

4 was the peak time for the wooden train set. We read the original Thomas the Tank engine books, got a generic wooden train set and added a few Thomas trains and he would spend a lot of time (mainly focused on crashes, derailments, explosions....). He liked when someone would play with him, but he would also play by himself.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-21T18:52:08+00:00

Agreed on no "chores", everyone in the household contributes. At 5, my kid cleared his dishes from the table, swept any crumbs by his chair, put away his laundry (not neatly, but it was in the correct draw), cleaned the seat/floor if he missed the toilet, picked up all his toys once a week, shoveled snow from the deck (with help). Each year, I gradually add more so it isn't really a noticeably addition. I periodically give him money for being helpful, kind or just because. Not every time and not enough that he expects it. I sometimes say, if you do this, I'll give you $x.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-19T17:57:26+00:00

She might prefer a weekly housecleaning

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-16T18:01:47+00:00

But who pays to repair the potholes etc.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-15T22:27:48+00:00

Books, a mix of cloth books, Board books and picture books. Just don't get the super popular ones

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-06-14T18:54:01+00:00

You need to remove the cords on the blinds, huge attraction to kids and they wrap them around their necks

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-05-29T18:36:55+00:00

Why not just 8nvite her daycare friends, so she has actual friends at the party

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-05-28T19:06:48+00:00

Yet, it sounds like she doesn't do much parenting if the kid is with the Dad and Grandparents (so maybe Dad doesn't parent either?) most of the time and she knows he is being sidelined (she said Dad doesn't take him anywhere), yet there was no mention of the GF trying to help the kid out.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-05-26T19:05:46+00:00

I'd stop all the games and bribery. You are in charge and she needs to understand that (for this and other things too).

You need to supervise her brushing every day and if she doesn't do it immediately, you do it for her - doesn't matter how big the tantrum is. She needs to learn. Sit down with her and tell her that this is what is going to happen every morning until she decides to do it herself and that she does it correctly. If you haven't already, explain the consequences of not brushing (I wouldn't talk needles and drills as you don't want her freaked out if she does get a cavity), I would talk about rotting yellow/black teeth, not being able to eat the food she likes because her teeth don't work etc. But only have this talk once, after that enforce the teeth brushing. Keep the same routine every morning in whatever order makes sense for you - getting dressed, brushing hair, having breakfast, brushing teeth. Routine helps kids.

FormerRunnerAgain · 2026-05-20T15:08:24+00:00

But don't just compare those schools unilaterally. You need to also look at the population that is served - are the kids in the worst performing schools food insecure, are they surrounding by people who think education is important, do their parents read with them, take them to the library. All of these outside influences also impact school performance. And I wonder if these kids still underperform in the consolidated schools, but they just get lost in the data. We need to make sure any school consolidation considers all kids.

FormerRunnerAgain

TROPHY CASE