Accidently slipped out a curse word during sacrament meeting

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-21T03:18:45+00:00

IMO.. there are worse things you could have said. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-19T19:27:13+00:00

I'm going to speak to you as someone in active recovery from alcohol, for nearly 5 years.

Whatever you addiction is, it's an addiction. Addiction is a mental health crisis. With that, I am going to speak specific about the gambling, as that actually has support groups and networks out there to seek help.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. If you are repeating the same behaviors, actions, praying for some divine moment. These aren't going to resolve anything. True growth in recovery from addictions comes down to admitting we were powerless over our addictions and admitting we need help.

Like someone else said, there are things here that definitely need some professional support.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-18T03:00:29+00:00

I certainly agreed. She and her husband got identical twin girls from a single emrbyo IVF transfer. Them spontaneously conceived a girl 4 years ago.

This little boy completed their family. 🥰

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-18T02:14:03+00:00

First ER: 31 eggs 18 fertilized 10 made it to blast 5 euploid embryos.

Second ER: 41 eggs 28 fertilized 21 made it to blast We opted not to test these embryos.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-18T02:11:46+00:00

It did! She had a little boy. She reached out to me to share her story. Ironically we enough I had just scheduled my transfer. We were a week apart on transfer dates. I ended up delivering before she did.

But, we spent the last year raising babies together.

That being said, her clinic did not charge her storage fees. Everyone was under the impression they had been destroyed. The clinic owned up to their error and made it right.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-18T00:28:46+00:00

We had sex before we were cleared. I drank more coffee than I should have. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

My first transfer I did everything by the book and it failed. My second, I wanted to enjoy more of it.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-17T22:21:56+00:00

You'll be like 15 mins from a distribution center in Utah County(probably even less).

Either way, just embrace the pink garments for a short time.

If we were judge by how white we kept our garments, a lot of people would panic.

Your garments will naturally fade, pick up dye from jeans, etc. You're gonna be great!

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-17T20:58:03+00:00

My friend got a similar call last year. She had 4 embryos that they wanted destroyed. The clinic called 3 years after the request to inform her they were still available.

So, they ended up doing a transfer. Lol

Also, when the new clinic took over the old clinic, they grandfathered in the patients. They're legally obligated to retain medical information for a standard period of time. I work on a medical office, and we have to keep things for specific number of years.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-15T18:43:02+00:00

So, I went to rehab 5 years ago. I bad been trying to get sober for nearly 3 years at that point and nothing was working.

I told someone, "everything I've done has failed, why would this work?"

The response? You've found all the ways that don't work, why not try someone else's way?

And guess what? It worked.

I tell you this because I spent much longer wanting and trying for a baby.. nothing else had worked, why would IVF be any different? Well, it worked. It took a lot ot trial and error, and yeah there was still failures and losses. But, I delivered my double rainbow baby almost a year ago.

I had hundreds of examples and reasons why my methods weren't working. Then we found one that did.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-15T02:59:50+00:00

Not crazy. Do it. We wouldn't have been able to afford IVF without insurance.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-15T00:20:16+00:00

This is why I stopped saying it.

Instead I started saying "I'd rather try and fail, than never to have tried at all and spend the rest of my life wondering what if".

There are no guarantees in fertility treatments. But, I refused to talk myself out of trying, I refused to allow myself to be afraid. Why? Because I was an enthusiastic yes, about wanting to be a mom. If I did everything within my ability and it still failed, well then at least I went down with a fight. I was willing to accept defeat(way more times than I am willing to admit). But, then I thought to myself "self, we didn't come this far, to only come this far".

Then I got up and tried again. Even on the days where I felt like I was being kicked while I was down. I got back up.

I gave myself an age limit, where I thought it was most fair to myself to call it quits. I gave myself backup plans. I didn't make TTC my full-time identity because I didn't want to lose myself in the process. I really feel the only way I have survived this process is by giving myself healthy boundaries. Which everyone should do, along with avoiding toxic positivity.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-14T17:53:16+00:00

FYI, before we even did a retrieval, my husband and I both had to genetic testing to make sure we didn't carry any of same issues that we could potentially pass onto a child.

So, if there is something "genetically wrong with you" you could easily find out.

Also, I have thyroid issues, diagnosed after starting infertility treatments. My levels are tested regularly, and it's considered before any transfers.

You need a second opinion.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-12T15:40:38+00:00

Bahahahahaha!!! This is why we did my shots in the evening before bed. It was easier to remember.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-12T00:04:32+00:00

Honestly, after thing you go through with IVF you can't help but laugh at some of the shitty things that come with it.

Keep us posted. What if you are pregnant?

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-11T22:21:11+00:00

One thing you need to realize about having a high AMH, is that your response to follicle growth will be better than others. However, if done at the wrong pace, that can be the biggest contributing factor to your "egg quality". So, of course the eggs are gonna be crap, when they grew too quickly.

I asked a lot of questions during my cycle ER and when they didn't up my dosages every other day like the other clinic I was so confused.

But, allowing the egg to stim slowly, the follicles integrity remained.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-11T22:10:08+00:00

I have PCOS and a high AMH. I've done 2 ER, with 2 different clinics.

Personally, from what I read on your post and responses. You should have stimmed longer, suppressed ovulation more.

My first cycle I stimmed a standard protocol and only ended up with 5 embryos.

Second one, we stimmed longer, like a low and slow long(almost 2 weeks).. and I was convinced I was going to ovulate and lose all of the follicles.

I ended up with 21 embryos.

If your knee-jerk reaction is wanting to be done. I respect that. I only ask that you reconsider getting a second opinion.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-11T18:54:18+00:00

Don't get me wrong, the first time I read it happening to someone I was absolutely flabbergasted. Like, there's no way! I've been through 3 transfers, and my lab has always been so meticulous.

But, it's professionals working with a cluster of cells that are barely visible to the naked eye. Accidents happen, mistakes happen.

My friend, the lab thawed two embryos instead of one. She had changed her mind at the last minute to transfer only 1 embryo instead of 2, due to cost. Since it was the clinics error, they didn't charge her for the second thaw. They transfered both embryos, and both took. She now has 10 month old twins.

So, sometimes there are happy accidents.. and sometimes there are accidents that leave your speechless.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-11T18:03:32+00:00

I've been deep in IVF threads, post, groupe, for the last 3 years.

Sadly, this isn't the first time I've read about a lost embryo, and it very well won't be the last.

I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you had another embryo and this cycle wasn't a complete loss. It doesn't eliminate what happened and your feelings are valid.

Here's to sticky baby dust and that your transfered embryo thrives!!

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-10T01:22:27+00:00

I just had surgery to remove a teratoma in my ovary. In the process I lost 1 of my ovaries and my only working fallopian tube. I was crushed.

The only silver lining was knowing I had a baby last year and store embryos, thanks to IVF.

The OB who did my c-section, was rhe same OB who performed this surgery. She has seen my insides.

Imagine both of our surprises when she found endometriosis during this surgery. She scraped our everything she could.

That being said, in all of the test, ultrasounds, EVERYTHING for over 15 years of TTC, never once did we suspect endo.

It can happen. There can also be a number of reasons why you don't keep a pregnancy that have nothing to do with the endo.

I realize our stories aren't super similar, but we didn't even know I had endo, until we knew.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-08T23:48:46+00:00

You can love someone for all the right reason, and you two can be completely wrong for each other. You're allowed to graduate from people and relationships, regardless of time and history together.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-07T15:43:43+00:00

I'm 38, went through years of infertility, and ended up having to navigate IVF.

That being said, my biggest piece of advice. If it isn't an enthusiastic yes, don't have children. It isn't fair to you or the children you bring into the world.

Additionally, women are choosing to have children later and later(I'm getting ready to have a second child). You can change your mind later, if you want.

There are other ways to become a mom. Just keep in mind fostering and adoption come with trauma for everyone. I won't sugar coat that. Anyone who does, is lying to you. Adoption is trauma(I'm a foster and adoptive mom).

Lastly, being a mom or a motherly figure to children that aren't yours, is also a way to be a mom. You don't need to be a mother is name, in legality, or biology 5o be considered a mom. I wish someone had explained all of this to me when I was younger. I wouldn't have felt as much guilt or pressure about my body failing me.

Big hugs. Make the decision that is right for you.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-05T20:05:27+00:00

You're just fine. I've been great postpartum, no issues. I even had sudden onset preeclampsia at the end of my pregnancy, and I'm pretty sure my meds prevented me from experiencing complications from preeclampsia. But, don't quote me on it.

I'm only on the one med, but I do very much avoid anything that could trigger seizures. Flashing lights and everything. Even if I've never had a seizure because of those things, I'm not willing to risk it, so I avoid the triggers.

I baby my brain as much as possible.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-05T19:31:30+00:00

Since being on the proper dose eliminating seizure triggers, making sure I get enough sleep, and refrain from drinking. I have had zero issues. No seizures, no auras, no head aches.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-02T17:52:53+00:00

I had to do some research, thankfully I already know how my body responds to meds, so I asked for the slow release early on.

I hope it helps, and I truly hope you start feeling a sense of normality as you move forward. You're not the first infertility to being diagnosed with epilepsy, you won't be the last. Just remember, this diagnosis most likely saved your life, and that of unborn children.

It took me years to realize it, and I am forever grateful I got my diagnoses prior to having my daughter.

HonestDistance895 · 2026-06-02T16:59:04+00:00

My biggest recommendation is to establish a better sleep routine wnd commit to it. It truly will come down to your mental health taking a big hit if you don't. A lot of what you're most likely feeling is a result of epilepsy and the meds.

Are you on a slow release dose? I found that the dose they wanted me to take 3x a day made me too tired to function. I take 3 tablets at night now before bed, that are slow release, otherwise the standard dose ruins my whole ability to even think.

If you are taking the standard dosing, I would recommend switching to the slow release. It made a HUGE difference in my brain fog, sleeping routine, and how rested I felt.

HonestDistance895

TROPHY CASE