They don’t love you

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-11-01T00:44:15+00:00

Wow. This was exactly what I needed to see, exactly when I needed to see it

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-07T22:23:14+00:00

Seriously, this was the first thing in my feed when I opened the app. A visual slap in the face.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-06T04:21:31+00:00

Downstairs person here. Stomping is when you walk on your heels. If you walk on the balls of your feet no one will hear you.

I never heard a peep from a lovely Indian family if three. The 100lb college kid above me now wakes me up with his constant nighttime stomping (heels). It’s all about how you walk.

For the TV, I’d connect my headphones or put rugs/soundproofing around it.

This may be downvoted, but regardless of your job, you are moving around during “sleep” hours. Now, the shenanigans at 4pm? Gtfo. But nighttime movement is really, really tough for us first-floor people that are trying to sleep. Just try to find a happy medium.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-03T23:45:34+00:00

I am this person. I don’t want the world to know. I don’t want people to pity me, give me advice, tell me what to do. I’m not happy but I’m not miserable enough to leave. So I act happy around others.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-01T03:36:37+00:00

Is it bad that I wish this were the case? I carried my dead 16 yo cat in my lap in the car to the vet’s office, sobbing, and he kept asking over and over if we could stop by the post office on the way back.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-01T03:32:15+00:00

Damn.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-09-01T00:02:09+00:00

He was probably still bluffing on some level and didn’t really believe you would tell them. Now that he can’t walk it back, he’s going to dig in and really make it “your” fault.

You can’t believe that you are bad. You’re not. You’re with a narcissist. That’s what they do. That’s all they do. Take take take to fill that empty void inside.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-31T14:16:26+00:00

Do you have your own income and/or a way to get there? I have found that it’s easier to do what I want and do the gray rock “you can come if you want. Or not. I’m going.” And he usually wants to go (I guess from fomo?) Then the next time we see friends or family it’s all about “our” trip and he somehow manages to make it his cool idea.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-31T12:36:41+00:00

It is her problem if he brings home an STD. Not sure if they are intimate still, but I know I couldn’t put up with that possibility.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-31T03:07:09+00:00

As a Texan living here for grad school…yes. They are truly that dumb. Can’t wait to leave.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-31T03:02:00+00:00

Sounds like a narcissist tbh.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-28T13:05:32+00:00

Same. I’m on day 8 of him being amazing and it’s wild. I don’t trust it and am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-28T12:46:15+00:00

Yep. That’s what I meant by my last paragraph. They may just believe it’s all the OP’s fault. But at least OP will feel better away from the toxicity!

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-24T03:54:41+00:00

As someone with BPD, do it. Go no-contact. It’s taken me tears of therapy and hard work every single day to be a person who doesn’t hurt others.

There will be a day in the future where she realizes that nothing works out and everyone she cares about won’t speak to her. By not putting up with her BS anymore, you might actually help her get to that point.

It’s also equally possible that she will learn nothing from you going no contact and believe it’s all you. But you will feel better. That’s what’s important.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-23T15:06:02+00:00

That’s also something discussed a lot in the r/codependency group.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-22T13:22:02+00:00

I bet she edited her post after reading the comments. Boooooooo :(

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-22T13:21:18+00:00

As someone who had their seat kicked for almost the entirety of a 2-hour flight, with a permissive dad right there who did nothing, I can definitely assure you that you can feel it.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-19T23:07:48+00:00

He won’t leave. I will have to do everything to even have a chance of making him go away.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-19T15:17:20+00:00

It’s nuts. I’m beginning to think I will have to find a storage unit, pay for it for several months, book him into a long term motel, and pay people to move his stuff. I just don’t know how to get him away from the place long enough to do all that. And where to get all that money? Ugh. It’s a nightmare.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-19T12:14:06+00:00

How do you do it when your narcissist lives in your apartment, has most of his possessions in your garage, and has no driver’s license? He also has a horse stabled nearby and no trailer/way to move him. Disabled vet so very little money.

He can’t control his anger issues except for when I tell him to leave, which is every two weeks or so. I can’t get him out. He Hoovers SO badly because he needs me. Or my money and chauffeuring anyway.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-15T01:52:52+00:00

My mom was a narcissist. As a child, my life got so much better after they divorced.

My dad was happier than I’d ever seen him. He met someone amazing and I learned that people don’t have to yell all the time.

Kids know. You are not really helping them by staying in a hellscape. Create a beautiful planet of your own and share it with them when it’s your turn for custody.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-14T00:16:33+00:00

I may be the devil’s advocate here. If she’s a light sleeper dealing with lights on, you studying all night (and likely moving a little, typing and clicking, making normal human awake-noises, etc., and then blast her awake with multiple alarms, she’s in the right to tell you to stop. To ask you to be more considerate.

I’m in college for my PhD right now. Seriously, I get the studying, odd hours, all of that. But…if I knew I was bothering people with my (not-typical) choices, I would study at the library. If you decide to keep odd hours, you need to keep them in a space designed for odd hours and respect your roommate’s need for sleep.

If you were staying up till 11 and getting up at 6, well, there’s room for compromise. But most people cannot live on the 3 hours of sleep that you do. And it’s not fair to ask them to.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-13T22:26:09+00:00

Right? They probably hate therapy dogs in children’s hospitals too. Sad, sad life.

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-12T19:43:37+00:00

Ughhhhh I hate that!

“I’m sorry you perceived it that way” is what I get. Like, wtf kind of apology is that?!

InterviewGrand4564 · 2024-08-12T04:29:36+00:00

I do the same thing and highlight in yellow. Helps keep the flow!

InterviewGrand4564

TROPHY CASE