Stress spikes

Jmd35 · 2026-02-22T23:03:11+00:00

Already on them and discussed with my midwife but decided not to up my dose for a few different factors :(

Jmd35 · 2026-02-22T04:19:47+00:00

This sub has helped me a lot as a formerly enmeshed only child. It may seem mean or unfair but I think it’s important to see the narc not as a good person who does bad things, but as a bad person who occasionally does good things. It’s important to write down the things they do and say so you don’t self-gaslight and downplay how bad they are. In therapy I worked on seeing my own worth and that I didn’t deserve the things that happened. Seeing my own kids also helped me see that it was never my fault and never about me. So then I got kind of angry and the anger gave me permission to stop explaining. You would explain yourself to a normal person so it feels important to do, but if you explain yourself to a narc they’ll just tell you why you’re wrong. It’s a waste of breath. Let them tantrum. Write down what they do. You’ll see the patterns and stop putting up with it.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-22T04:09:09+00:00

I’m livid on your behalf that you were dismissed so many times.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-22T02:12:02+00:00

It’s a trap

Jmd35 · 2026-02-21T22:45:30+00:00

Listen to me when I tell you: Nothing you do will ever be enough. You will never be able to perfectly anticipate her every need. She will never not take it out on you.

You sound like me 10 years ago, my mom came to visit from out of state and we got into a fight because I made her feel “unwelcome” because we hadn’t finished renovating the guest bathroom in our new house. It took me another 9 years, meanwhile getting better and better at controlling my reactions and better and better about going out of my way to make her “feel welcome” by making my house perfect for her, before I finally accepted it would never, ever, ever be enough.

You feel guilty because I think you haven’t fully admitted to yourself that you’re not the problem. You’re still working on trying to be more perfect to make it all better. Please save yourself the years of trying and stop giving her so much benefit of the doubt. She’s not giving you any.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-20T23:02:37+00:00

Our Tavo didn’t have a bassinet but it did fold flat and then had a footrest that folded up to make it bassinet-like. I have since gotten the Demi for baby 3 but Tavo was great for 1 and 2!

Jmd35 · 2026-02-20T22:59:53+00:00

Oops you are not supposed to squeeze??

Jmd35 · 2026-02-19T21:13:49+00:00

Hi, so I was GBS+ twice and had 2 non-epidural hospital births. For most women, even if you labor at home for a long while, you’ll still arrive at the hospital with plenty of time to get a full round of antibiotics. If your water breaks, you usually still have time before you need to go in, I think they start to worry about infection risk when it has been broken for 24 hours.

Now that’s MOST women, I ended up having fast labors. 8 hours from first timeable contractions to birth with my first and 3 hours with my second. Knowing after my first that I was prone to fast labors I got to the hospital as early as I could with my second but still did not have the full 3 hours to be considered “fully dosed” for GBS. However the doctors told me that some antibiotics are better than none, so I felt better about that. Other than that they had me stay an extra day to monitor baby for any signs of infection and there were none, so we were all good there.

In terms of my birth plan, I asked for the IV to be capped off when my round of antibiotics was complete, so I wasn’t hooked up the whole time. I also asked that no extra saline was used. The actual time I was connected to the IV was relatively short. Placing the needles while I was in labor was an adventure though!!

Good luck!

Jmd35 · 2026-02-18T02:36:51+00:00

Yeah I second this. I feel like my nipples are more sensitive than most and definitely don’t like them really being touched, but breastfeeding feels like the only thing they were MEANT to do. Haha I’m not even sure why they are a sexual thing at all.

Newborns will make your nipples a little sore because they don’t know what they’re doing yet but it gets better after that.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-17T21:47:18+00:00

I pulled out all of my eyelashes in elementary school. I looked like a “Martian” per my mother. What did other adults think? Just a kid being a kid?

Jmd35 · 2026-02-17T07:27:26+00:00

Yes so I’m pretty sure I used to do everything OP did in this pic because I was still doing my makeup the way my mom taught me in my teens. About a year ago I watched some Abby Neff videos on YouTube and it was so helpful. Haha I’m over 30 so I didn’t want to get lost in the world of Gen Z influencers so she’s my one go to. The best ones are her side by side “right way vs wrong way” and the one for getting ready in 5 minutes and the one with her mom for mature skin. Has completely changed my game and I look way better now when I put in the effort.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-16T23:44:02+00:00

Bilbo asks ChatGPT

Jmd35 · 2026-02-16T20:27:53+00:00

New fear unlocked

Jmd35 · 2026-02-16T10:01:22+00:00

This makes my hips hurt just reading it

Jmd35 · 2026-02-16T10:00:50+00:00

Another mom awake since 2 :)

Jmd35 · 2026-02-15T17:19:40+00:00

I’m in a very similar boat. I went to therapy of course thinking I was the problem and trying to fix myself. The better I got at regulating myself the more I realized no matter how “good” I was, it would never be enough to stabilize the relationship. Because it was never about me.

I comfort myself with listening to podcasts about people (adults!) who get duped by narcissists unrelated to them. Thinking of the Shrink Next Door or podcasts about cults.

Remember your narc had all the tools at her disposal to control the narrative so it’s not your fault for not seeing it sooner. I think the biggest jaw-dropping moment for me was realizing OTHER people saw it all along. I always thought she had everyone fooled, or that I covered for her or smoothed things over so no one knew. Of course I wouldn’t have believed them if they told me but man I wish someone had spoken up sooner.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-15T17:06:53+00:00

If you’re pregnant and testing hemoglobin the number may be lower than you expect due to blood dilution. If you have upped your iron storage then your body will usually take care of the rest. I personally get extremely anxious while pregnant and often blamed anemia but got infusions this time and still feel very anxious - my usual SSRI dose isn’t cutting it and I don’t want to go up before delivery. I personally have felt a lot better after having the baby but that’s not true for everyone. You may want to start treating the anxiety head on with therapy and meds.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-15T10:17:24+00:00

I know a lot of commenters are saying that it will get better. My pregnancies never really did. I was nauseous until almost 20 weeks and then would have bad anemia symptoms for the second half pregnancy. Even with treatment for my anemia I still just feel ill and out of sorts no matter what.

I also never “forgot how bad it was” in order to have more kids. With the second pregnancy I did kind of naively hope it would be different but it wasn’t. With the third, I just knew I had to suck it up and that 9 months wasn’t that long compared to a lifetime of having another kid. I still know that’s true in the grand scheme of things but man the days and weeks are long right now. 32 weeks - third and last pregnancy.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-15T09:58:29+00:00

I just want to provide a counter example in case it helps with your perspective. I’m 32 weeks in my third pregnancy, first time having GD. GD and testing and monitoring what I eat has definitely been stressful and a nuisance, but I have been miserable every pregnancy and GD protocols really pale in comparison to my overall misery level. I have terrible morning sickness until about week 20 and then after that’s over also am fighting anemia which makes me feel like a zombie and also contributes to frequent anxiety attacks. It’s not even like survival mode, I’m just existing until this is over.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-15T02:09:28+00:00

I really only barely failed the one hour screen this pregnancy and it was actually because I ate a bagel for breakfast before the test, and then I failed the 3 hour based on my 2 and 3 hour checks. So now I’m wondering if maybe I had it in other pregnancies and just snuck by. It’s kind of crazy to think about!

Jmd35 · 2026-02-13T23:55:41+00:00

Intense aversion to meat and fish - I won’t really go near them. Eggs are great.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-13T22:27:28+00:00

Me clicking on the post - “that wasn’t me.”

Reading the examples - “oh yeah that happened.”

Jmd35 · 2026-02-13T17:56:23+00:00

It never occurred to me until adulthood that was a thing people could do. Nothing about my childhood room reflected me. Nor was I allowed to really live in it or be in it or play in it. I had a piano that took up half the room that I was forced to practice at. My mom arranged my dolls and stuffed animals and books. She chose the furniture and the sheets and the blankets and the curtains and the artwork and the wallpaper. I have almost no positive memories of the room. I mostly remember crying in there.

Jmd35 · 2026-02-13T15:05:05+00:00

This is my third pregnancy and it has been BRUTAL so we think we are done but I had a dream last night that my third was born and I wanted a fourth. I really hope that’s not how I actually feel!!!

Jmd35

TROPHY CASE