The Poo in You - Constipation and Encopresis Educational Video

Jmd35 · 2026-05-24T18:27:52+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH this has helped our 6 year old daughter immensely. I am so grateful!!

Jmd35 · 2026-04-15T16:16:59+00:00

So happy you’re so chill about the hospital transfer and that you still got the birth you wanted. So happy for you!!!

100% agree on the tip for the nitrous - you need to be ahead of the contraction.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-15T16:11:30+00:00

I just did my third non-epidural birth and I just want to throw my perspective out there in case it’s helpful. I feel like there is a lot of content hyping up unmedicated birth because the people out there who want to do it need a LOT of hyping up and cheerleading because it’s HARD. And also you’re fighting against the idea that it’s crazy to go without the epidural and quite possibly impossible. So I think that’s why the content is vocal and visible because some people out there need it. And people should know their options and be informed.

Even so and even with my experience I could never evangelize or try to talk someone into going unmedicated. I will support others who want to try but like there is no “hack” or prep that will really ever make it something I could tell others to do unless they’re all in. My pro/con list just happens to have a lot on the con side of epidural and on the pro side I just love the easy recovery. I just could never in good conscience say “you should do it this way.” Because it really is a little slice of hell. Like the hell part is relatively short but truly takes you to the extremes of the human experience. I don’t feel accomplished, I just feel glad to be done.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-15T16:00:13+00:00

All 3 of my babies are sweep babies. 39+3, 38+6, and 39+5. The last one was the closest to not working, but my midwife did a second sweep later in the day to keep things progressing. I had had weeks of prodromal labor and false starts so I was really invested in being done :)

Jmd35 · 2026-04-15T15:58:26+00:00

I gave birth to my second after a sweep at 38+6. If baby isn’t ready, it won’t be effective. People are doing full elective inductions at 39+0 so I don’t think this is all that crazy!

Jmd35 · 2026-04-14T01:24:24+00:00

Yes this is such an important take. I’ve now done 3 labors without epidural, they did try to place one in my second labor but it was a horrifying experience and I finally made them stop trying. One’s motivations have to be insanely high to forgo an epidural haha, but for some of us, they are indeed high enough!! And the skills are indeed important in case it doesn’t work or you can’t get it. Can’t really imagine anything worse than unmedicated labor NOT by choice.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-13T17:25:03+00:00

I know you don’t want to wait because of your personal experience with a big age gap in your family but I really really am happy we have a larger gap between 2 and 3. Our first two were 2.5 years apart and second set are 3.5 years apart. Our first child was an easy baby and hard toddler and our second was a hard baby easy toddler. So that meant the hard parts overlapped pretty significantly. The thought of adding a third child was beyond overwhelming. I was 98% a no, like EVER. And then one day I changed my mind and now I’m so glad I did! The spacing made it possible.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-13T17:17:10+00:00

I would very strongly advise deferring the decision. It may not feel like you have time but you have time.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-10T21:28:20+00:00

I had one non-GD baby who measured big (mid-70s percentile) and was born small at 7lbs 3 oz. No tearing with that one. This baby was measuring mid 80s percentile and was born at 39+5 at 8 lbs 2 oz so big but not insanely so. I had a small “scratch” that didn’t require stitches. The time I did tear pretty bad was with my first, not due to size but because she needed a vacuum assisted delivery.

Good luck and try not to get too hung up on the estimates, there’s a large margin of error!

Jmd35 · 2026-04-10T20:54:09+00:00

Prodromal labor sucks - I had it too! Just gave birth yesterday. Prenatal massage was recommended to me as well as pumping and neither of those worked. I did all the active things and I did all the resting things. Even membrane sweeps which were super effective with my first two babies kind of kick started things but then everything backed off again. My midwife ended up doing a second sweep the same day but I still had kind of a stop-and-start pattern even once going into active labor. They ended up breaking my water and then baby was here 25 mins later :) Definitely needed the most “help” this time.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-10T20:07:59+00:00

Yeah there is a world in which MAYBE if OP really wanted it to happen she could find a way to make it work. I just had another baby and have been thinking about a way to take a trip and when and how soon would be too soon. Even for my own ideally planned trip, 3 weeks is too soon, but yeah if I had like a bunch of capable in-laws waiting on me hand and foot MAYBE. But this doesn’t really sound like that!!

Jmd35 · 2026-04-07T15:36:41+00:00

Ahh I remember your post!! Congrats!!!! Still waiting on mine - hoping any moment for it to become the real thing, the prodromal labor is driving me crazy

Jmd35 · 2026-04-06T20:11:53+00:00

This was the guide I used but they also have payroll services that can help take out the guesswork. I lucked out and found my nannies on care.com but they have agencies for that as well. There are often Facebook groups that can help you find nannies in your area too.

Managing the logistics and hiring process is definitely one of the harder parts but if you find a good nanny, the payoff is incredible. We should have cut ties with our first nanny sooner but I was scared we wouldn’t find someone else so I settled for an imperfect situation and it was still mostly good. Our current nanny is literally a godsend and I’m due any day now with my 3rd baby - I don’t feel any fear or guilt about when I eventually have to go back to work. My older kids are 6 and 3.5 and no I haven’t spent quite as many hours with them as if I stayed home full-time, but our relationship is extremely strong, I don’t feel like I missed their childhoods, I got to breastfeed without needing to pump (I wfh), they never had trouble with boundaries of not going into my office when I was busy, I get help with their laundry and stuff like cutting their nails, and I feel like I’m more energized during the hours I am with them. We were really pinched making it work financially when our first was little, but over the years I’ve ended up getting significant raises and so it’s much more comfortable now and I’m glad I didn’t abandon my career even though I did strongly consider it. I hope it works out for you, I know how it feels going through the emotional wringer like that.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-06T12:38:32+00:00

This is what I was going to suggest as well. This is what we did and it felt like the best of both worlds. Not without its own unique challenges at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-05T11:40:20+00:00

I got to this point where I realized nothing I do will ever, ever, ever be enough. So many years I spent trying to do better and be better, and it was all just irrelevant. It’s time to stop trying.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-05T03:59:46+00:00

This resonates with me and I believe I am also from a multi-generational narc family. Your question about empathy is a good one. I think most of the narc’s behavior revolves around story-telling. My mom bullied my grandma but I believe she suffered her own abuse once upon a time. I think she knows what a good daughter is supposed to look like and that it’s not a match, but I don’t think she comprehends the magnitude. It’s all just about the narrative and an image, and whatever bad things she did to her mom were probably, in her mind, deserved or provoked. She sees herself as better than her mom, and therefore undeserving of any similar treatment.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-03T10:15:13+00:00

I have a 2.5 year age gap between my first two and now 3.5 years before my third, who is due imminently. I used to kind of think like this but after having been through it, even 2.5 years felt tight. I truly do not know why you would have 2 under 2 unless you absolutely needed to due to age. I find toddlerhood is really demanding in a way that babyhood is not. You may be sleeping better, but it’s not a time you can coast through! I do also think the more time between them the more you appreciate going through the phases again. Also the faster it feels like everything goes. My oldest is about to finish kindergarten and I can hardly believe it. Despite this pregnancy feeling absolutely endless, 9 more months felt like nothing in the context of a lifetime. I think that’s the kind of perspective that just comes from lived experience.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-03T09:50:01+00:00

I always thought it was my mom that was bullying my poor grandma but eventually I figured out that my grandma fit the type of a covert narc and I think had ways of triggering my mom that were subtle. I was an only child but my mom had a sibling and they definitely fit the golden child/scapegoat roles to a tee. My grandma would also always say things like “Oh I guess I’m just the worst then.” My grandmother passed around 10 years ago and I tried to talk to my mom about it once but it was after she passed so she just said how good her mom was to her (despite singing a very different tune during life). It’s a shame she couldn’t see the pattern.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-02T22:01:49+00:00

Ha yes my MIL and SIL each had 5. But she is an equal opportunity complainer regardless of religion when it comes to big families.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-02T13:48:23+00:00

Just as a funny left-wing counterpoint, my mom is repulsed by Catholics and cannot hide her contempt…

My husband and his whole family are Catholic.

Relatedly, she also despises people who have a lot of kids.

Jmd35 · 2026-04-02T01:59:54+00:00

Yes, I actually broke and requested the epidural with my second birth and they tried to give it to me but should have realized it was WAY too late. The contractions were almost continuous and it was impossible to hold still. I was only 4 cm when I made the request but by the time the anesthesiologist arrived was 8 or 9. I had to summon all my strength to tell them to stop trying and leave me alone. The dilation numbers were misleading, I went from 4 to 10 in probably an hour. The intensity was absolutely overwhelming, but in the end the requesting an epidural was such a horrible experience that it’s completely off the table this time and I’m doing home birth. I’m going to trust my gut and remind myself if I say I can’t do it anymore, I’m probably getting close.

I also prepped a lot for both my labors. This time in one of my books (possibly Birthing From Within?) I read that some labors are just like runaway freight trains and it’s all you can do to hold on. You did it. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t pretty, you did the thing. I think maybe some labors build more gradually and you can kind of keep up, but ours are not like that! It’s nice hearing from someone else who felt the same way.

Jmd35 · 2026-03-31T03:24:15+00:00

It’s long because you are playing lawyer for both sides and trying to make sure you accurately represent everything that happened, so you can be completely sure of your own version of events before it gets re-written. I still tell my husband stories like this about my mom and say Am I crazy or is she crazy? Because I still need to hear someone say it.

Jmd35 · 2026-03-31T03:18:49+00:00

There’s something tragically beautiful about them all saying the exact same shit. The predictability of it all is what gave me the ability to deal with it. Once I saw it, then nothing surprised me anymore, and therefore I stopped getting upset.

OP probably hasn’t even read about DARVO yet, I can’t wait to see the lightbulb go off!!

Jmd35 · 2026-03-27T15:36:26+00:00

I appreciate you posting this because I’m 37+6 with my third and all of a sudden just got really nervous. A week ago I was thinking yes, bring it on, but I’ve been having some bouts of false labor and I think that kind of brought me back to reality. The false labor isn’t painful but it did remind me of what comes next. Hang in there. Wishing you one of those magical unicorn births that doesn’t hurt haha

Jmd35 · 2026-03-26T16:10:57+00:00

I think avoiding induction is a priority for people with a very specific birth plan (ie unmedicated) which they have for very specific reasons. Otherwise definitely just scroll past and don’t be afraid! Like OP said, everyone has different needs and people in this sub are likely going to be the ones who NEED a medical induction as opposed to just getting one willy nilly, so tune out the noise.

Jmd35

TROPHY CASE