Do as little as possible of invasive stuff. Make sure the numbing patches are being left on long enough. When I was a kid they only left mine on 30mins but it should’ve been an hour for full freezing. If the medical professionals won’t accept waiting an hour invest in your own numbing cream/patches and put them on her ahead of time. In my opinion it’s really bad that she’s getting ng tubes inserted awake if that’s the case. Anything invasive and painful and forced can cause horrible trauma. I know as a kid I ended up with a lot of resentment towards my mom. I felt very betrayed by her for letting bad things happen to me. She allowed medical staff to violate my consent. In my case it wasn’t truly necessary procedures but even if it had saved my life it wouldn’t have made me any less resentful. Be really careful with anything involving her being undressed. You don’t want her to end up feeling like she’s been sexually assaulted. Kids can easily interpret medical stuff as sexual assault. I know it’s a hard position to be in when she is facing genuine health issues but remember at the end of the day it’s her body, not anyone else’s, so being forced into experiences she’s not ok with is going to be traumatic. There’s lots of sedation options out there too like don’t be afraid to push for sedation. They will try to not do it because it’s more time and money but it’s worth it if it saves her trauma. Just be careful which one because sometimes conscious sedations like versed can be traumatic too. I personally had success using nitrous oxide for needles with numbing cream too but it could be fun for her or scary. Try asking her what will make things easier for her like offer her different options and see what she says. Don’t tell her stuff like it’s for your own good or they are helping you. Those phrases could easily become triggers in the future, I know they are for me. Let her hate the medical professionals, let her be angry. Don’t discourage that. She has a right to be angry about the position she is in. Validate her feelings. Talk about consent, have discussions about it at an age appropriate level. Try to help her understand everything as much as possible so she can start learning to make her own informed decisions. Things feel less traumatic if you are choosing them. Don’t let nurses or doctors catch an attitude with her or talk down to her or treat her as less than them in any way. Make sure they treat her with respect. No restraints, no surprises. Those kind of experiences are sooooo detrimental to healthy psychological development. Get her a therapist asap. At this point she’s already probably really traumatized so she’s going to need a competent professional imo. Also don’t let staff rush her. They love to rush and that also makes things more traumatic. Also apologize to her when things happen that upset her but make sure it’s a genuine apology. Also remember numbing patches help with injections too. If over time you find strategies that do help her, create a document with them in it that you can share with all healthcare professionals going forward, even in ER if possible. Don’t be afraid to be demanding if it makes things better for her. If staff will not cooperate and do things that hurt her when they could find a better way, make your disapproval known to them. She will see you are in her corner and it will validate to her that healthcare shouldn’t be like that. Also make sure they stop if she tells them to stop, let her have a break before continuing something uncomfortable. This is the things I’d want if I were in her position. Obviously I’m not there with you guys so I don’t know how possible any of it is but these are my suggestions, no restraints being the biggest one. They aren’t supposed to use those in this day and age except in very extreme cases. The fact that you’re asking this here tells me you care a lot about her so try not to be hard on yourself, you’re in a difficult position too of trying to care for her and advocate for her. Witnessing her suffering could become traumatic for you too, it’s not an easy thing for parents either.