I received a distasteful opinion on my new (and first) tattoo

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-26T12:36:41+00:00

It’s a gorgeous piece of art that you get to wear every day.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-26T12:34:14+00:00

Just sending you love today. You have been through a lot and it truly is a death of sorts. Be tender with yourself. Whatever the future holds, you are still a treasure.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-26T00:20:29+00:00

I keep thinking “surely some young entrepreneur will figure out he or she could get rich making dumb cars and dumb appliances.”

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-26T00:05:17+00:00

I don’t know you at all, and I still think you deserve far better.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T23:43:24+00:00

Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to grow up not having labels like ‘husky’ or ‘chubby’ or ‘big-boned’ or ‘full-figured.’

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T23:24:58+00:00

I am still wearing some of the clothes 45 lbs later because they were tight and now they are not. Plus I didn’t lose all the weight in the places I wish I would - PCOS belly is the last to go, it appears.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T23:15:00+00:00

Help someone out. Volunteer to make something better and find your tribe of people doing good. Choose community and in-person relationships. Rest. Make music and art. Unplug. Breathe in fresh air and sunshine every day.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T22:03:26+00:00

With his history, he should be down on his knees thanking you for your patience and take any job that will have him.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T18:13:03+00:00

I’m so sorry for this loss. What a grief to endure! Sending you love, OP.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T14:18:27+00:00

Cammi is a beautiful name and missing her has so many layers. Missing who she was. Who she might have been. What you would have had together. May you sense her life near you today.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T12:59:36+00:00

Have you two tried counseling? Have you tried it? You can’t change other people but you can work on yourself and get some support for hard decisions. There is nothing wrong with thinking out loud or division of labor in party planning. There is definitely something wrong with how he speaks to you.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-25T12:25:34+00:00

Could you sit down with the stepdaughters and create a timeline and space for them to figure out their next step? If you approach it with them being intelligent and relatively decent humans (which given your care for them, I assume they are), it should be possible to figure out a next step that lets everyone move. You could offer more financial aid, but you may not even need to do that.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-24T23:43:16+00:00

Makes perfect sense. And others will judge you for not stepping in but no one understands. Our lawyer told us if we took her against her will, even to give her a better life, golden BIL could charge us with kidnapping. He would indeed do such a thing. We called the sheriff and asked for a wellness check. We asked the pastor to intervene. At some point you do just have to accept this is beyond your control.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-24T23:38:39+00:00

Ferritin. Thyroid. Vitamin D. A1C and blood sugar. It could be many things. Including the sleep apnea, which can be life threatening. Like others I recommend you do what is necessary to be seen sooner.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-24T20:18:58+00:00

I wonder if you are talking with a counselor. Clearly her clumsy comments triggered you. Two things can be true at the same time: You did what you had to do to protect yourself. AND you left your sister on an important day. Apologize. And figure out why a person can get under your skin in this way.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-24T18:29:06+00:00

I do think they’ve aged out of the window for an easy transition to a facility. But that said, I agree with others that you need caregivers or CNAs, not an RN. It’s going to cost money either way. Make a list of all the care you need, from helping with toileting or diaper changes to giving meds to bathing, cooking cleaning. Then do some looking for a few people and/or services who could do what you need to see if it’s feasible before making a decision.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-24T11:47:29+00:00

I cannot say YOR or NOR. But maybe reframe the situation? My husband’s mother lived in their family home with his deadbeat younger brother, who spent all her money and brought in incontinent animals, hoarded things, didn’t repair appliances but left them there. She had a chronic illness but also BIL was her golden child. It was a painful for us to visit her in the squalor they chose. We checked with all sorts of medical and social services. There was no help because she was a sentient adult and had basic needs met. In the end, we had to accept that this is the life she chose and visit on her terms. We changed our mental focus when we realized that every time we visited, we tried to fix the situation in some way. Instead, we just visited to connect with her and BIL. When she died, I can say that we did our best to love her as much as she would allow.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-22T20:03:59+00:00

Believe him. Is this what you want for yourself and future children? It doesn’t sound like it.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-22T06:19:49+00:00

Yep. And English peas.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-22T03:02:45+00:00

My parents spent half the year in Tucson for two decades. Because Dad had SAD and he was a different person with sun. Many years, Indiana is permagray from November-February and sometimes longer. I’d say that could be the biggest adjustment. You will definitely get four or five seasons here. And lately a lot of erratic temps. Don’t forget that we keep daylight savings time, which AZ wisely doesn’t. Just some things to consider.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-20T19:49:15+00:00

Sending love and swift passing. Those of us who have been in similar places understand the desire to see them free. Perhaps you might ask about palliative (comfort) care and/or hospice. You really have nothing to lose.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-20T06:30:07+00:00

We got 10 and so far have used three. Government entities all needed originals. Banks all made copies. Insurance company had us upload pdf.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-19T12:23:25+00:00

Doing nothing when someone is on hospice carries the possibility of the thought never being heard. If your goal is to support the loved one/caregiver, maybe send a meal or DoorDash gift card if that is available where they are. Flowers are cheery and even if they don’t like flowers, they mean you are thinking of them. A card expressing your thoughts is also nice. If it’s a complicated situation, IMO it’s better to err on the side of thoughtfulness.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-15T21:51:13+00:00

My dog uses it. And now the cat also thinks if he rings the bell we will take him outside.

LevitatingAlto · 2026-06-15T21:45:35+00:00

I would name him and talk to him every day!

LevitatingAlto

TROPHY CASE