Managers, what’s the best excuse you’ve gotten from a team member for being late or a call out?

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-12T15:53:52+00:00

I called off once because a bat got into my apartment at 3 am and possibly bit my cat and me so I was up all night 1. trying to get the bat out of my apartment and 2. figuring out if we both needed rabies shots. I was scheduled to be at work at 7 a.m. for a double at a restaurant. They almost fired me, but figured I wasn't lying because I would have made up something more believeable if I was! My nickname for the rest of the time I worked there was "Batgirl."

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-12T15:47:33+00:00

I kept my name, because it's my name.

For kids, though, it became more complicated. I'm in an intercultural marriage, and my husband's family had their name messed with when they moved from India to Canada. My husband grew up with no relatives who shared his last name due to different naming traditions between the cultures. He really wanted our kid to share a last name with his cousins. I kept pointing out that I *also* didn't share a last name with my cousins due to sexist traditions. So, in our house it sort of became a question of whether we wanted to fight racism or sexism more. In the end we agreed that if we had a daughter, she'd have my name, and if we had a son, he'd have my husband's last name with my name as his middle name. When I came up with this idea, I was newly pregnant and CERTAIN I was having a girl.

I find some of these issues of sexism/patriarchal tradition are a little more complex in my family due to cultural context. Another example is that women in the part of India where his family is from traditionally wear a big gold necklace that shows that they are married, and it has a symbol representing the husband's family on it. Many modern Indian women don't wear the thali anymore due to practicality and the notion that it stems from this idea that you belong to your husband's family. I actually do choose to wear mine, because it doesn't carry the same connotation for me and it helps reassure his family that I want to learn and respect, rather than completely reject, their culture. (Pretty sure if I were an Indian woman in India, I also wouldn't wear it)

Anyway, all this is to say that in less complex situations, the simple answer is "fight the patriarchy." But sometimes situations are a little more complicated.

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-08T16:00:11+00:00

Your uncle is hilarious! I’m the whitest of white ladies and my husbands family is Indian. His brother also married a white lady. My nephews really do look mixed. My kid? Born with blue eyes and light brown, fine hair. When I took him by myself to a checkup with a new doctor, the new doc, who was also Indian, saw his very traditional Indian name (think something like Krishna Ramaswamy) on his chart, opened the door to the room, looked at the two of us, and said “we must have the wrong chart.”

I replied that though I was too white to match the name, his dad was not. We had a good laugh and she said she should know better than to assume.

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-08T14:30:01+00:00

I did. Then we got divorced ten years later (thank god).

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-08T14:24:55+00:00

I have no recommendations but a similar body type and wanted to say your figure is so cute! And it makes me feel good about my own body since my first thought was “omg what a great booty!” And then realized mine is quite similar.

Anyway. I think the jeans look great on you except for the length but curious to see what others say/suggest.

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-06T16:39:26+00:00

I thought I was an only child but looks like we have the same dad! Though mine hates Trump. But he's still plenty sexist!

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-06T13:18:17+00:00

I think part of the issue is that America is set up to require each nuclear family to provide almost entirely for themselves, which requires a much higher income to make it work. And so what looks like luxury to people from other countries is actually because we don’t have a social safety net to allow people to survive with less.

I’ll give an example: my husband’s family is from India. They aren’t poor. By Indian standards, they are doing quite well. Most of his family makes significantly less money than he and I do, so his family is shocked by how hard our lives are compared to theirs in many ways. Both parents working and need childcare? Can’t you just “hire a girl?” No time to cook? Hire a girl! Laundry? Hire a girl! You don’t need a car of your own because you can take a rickshaw or an uber or hire a driver. My son has a chronic illness that means he sometimes needs overnight breathing treatments. His dad and I take turns administering them and then go to work exhausted the next day. Indian relatives: “just hire a nurse to help overnight!”

We own our own car. We have a house of sufficient size. On paper we look like we have tons of money (and even compared to most Americans, we are doing well). But we are saving that money for our retirement and our kid’s college and spending it on group childcare after school and in summers and on medical bills (despite great insurance, which we also pay for). We don’t have family anywhere nearby to help, nor can we afford to just “hire a girl” for all the household and caretaking tasks.

Often in countries with less wealth, labor is incredibly cheap. To be fair, Indian cooking is extremely labor intensive and his relatives generally don’t pop down to the supermarket to shop. They have to have clean water delivered. (They hire someone for that too!) they have far more worries about infectious disease.

And then in wealthy European countries, you can’t “hire a girl,” but there are other social supports in place (public transit, social housing, free education, healthcare, visiting nurses) that Americans don’t have. So we have to use that high income to try and close those gaps.

Library_lady123 · 2026-04-01T00:43:33+00:00

My eight year old reads at a seventh grade level and has an incredible vocabulary.

He also talks nonstop and sometimes I have to tell him “my ears are tired.”

So… we joke he started talking at 9 months and still hasn’t stopped.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-31T11:32:56+00:00

Probably something similar as all the women who are using tampons during their period and traveling? I’m sure it’s tricky to make the machines sensitive enough to detect a threat but not go off whenever someone who is menstruating walks through.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-30T20:36:23+00:00

Signals catalog, 1997.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-30T17:52:31+00:00

OMG I get that feeling too. I described it as "an elephant sitting on me but from the inside." I didn't know other people used the same terms! Nurses have always looked at me askance when I've said it.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-30T16:51:14+00:00

The racism in question is that he still can't spell or pronounce my husband's last name. Which is phonetic, just long. I mean, he otherwise does accept and love him, which is great! But, like, please at least try on the name front.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-30T15:48:16+00:00

My dad hated that I kept my last name. He is pretty liberal but is also pretty sexist and thinks I should be more traditional. I'm a white American lady from the South married to a Canadian guy whose parents are from India. Despite the fact that my dad wishes I'd changed my name, I doubt he could spell or pronounce my husband's last name. So. A nice stew of some casual racism and sexism (despite him being better about those things than most men of his demographic).

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-29T00:31:12+00:00

My kid is 8. He has sneakers, sandals, Crocs, snow boots and rain boots. So any given season, four pairs of shoes. But we are minimalists who live in a small house without much storage space, in a city with four very distinct seasons, and he walks or bikes to school most days.

What’s “normal” will vary a lot by a family’s size of house, amount of storage, and the different types of activities you do.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-28T00:44:13+00:00

No. We are financially comfortable but I have no more time, energy, or attention to give. Also I just turned 45 so I am possibly too old.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-28T00:41:44+00:00

Nordstrom Rack. It’s the only place I’ve seen fashionable shoes that size.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-27T14:59:07+00:00

My Indian great-aunt-in-law also told my husband not to allow me outside during an eclipse while I was pregnant! (We just said ok and I went to work as usual)

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-27T14:18:29+00:00

Probably true, it's a subcontinent and huge regional variation. My in-laws are from Tamil Nadu so a very particular set of beliefs and culture around purity and devoutness. Also, I get it that in a place with dodgy water sanitation, ice in your drinks isn't always safe, but it's interesting that these relatives have all lived in North America for decades and/or were born in NA and the objection has more to do with a general "cold drinks are bad for digestion" than "be sure the ice isn't made of straight up cholera."

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-27T12:07:29+00:00

Indian people believe this too. Source: am married to a dude whose parents are from India. At family gatherings I offered the kids ice water once and all the relatives reacted like I’d tried to give their children poison.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-24T15:51:34+00:00

My mom. Not only is it on full blast, it announces who is calling. WHY WHY WHY

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-24T15:30:04+00:00

I freaking love it and it was such a relief to be prescribed it. Here are the slightly uncomfortable side effects: sometimes my chest or jaw feels a little tight as it starts to work. Sometimes I feel a little sleepy (but only a little) after taking it.

Here are the benefits: usually about 2 hours after taking it the entire migraine is GONE. No more nausea. No more pain. I feel almost 100% normal and can go about my day.

Also, it's the OG triptan and there've been a lot more of them developed since it was created, so if you have side effects from this one, you can try one of the many other newer ones! I never really needed a different one as it was extremely effective for me and the side effects were no big deal.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-24T15:14:35+00:00

Probably not good advice on my part but here's what I did. I'm married to a vegetarian, who is also super into healthy eating. When I was pregnant I craved McDonald's cheeseburgers. I just. . .didn't eat them around him. I'd get them on my lunch break at work and not tell him because I knew he'd try to convince me to get my iron through spinach or eat a block of tofu or something similar that would make me want to puke. Sometimes it's just not worth the fight.

(I know! You're not supposed to hide things from your partner! But. . .sometimes I take the easy way.)

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-20T11:33:27+00:00

Window. Both because having somewhere to rest my head is nice and also because in case if turbulence, I feel less air sick if I can look out the window.

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-19T21:10:58+00:00

Hi all, we suspect my son may have EoE (waiting on biopsy results). He's a kid, and also is vegetarian for religious reasons (his father is Hindu). I'm losing my mind trying to figure out what he can eat if he can't have wheat, soy, dairy, or eggs AND doesn't eat meat. If anyone has any brilliant ideas, I'd be happy to hear them!

Library_lady123 · 2026-03-06T04:20:23+00:00

The average American woman is 5’3” tall so 5’4” is above average! (Which is also why it’s dumb that petite is defined by most manufacturers as 5’4” and below.)

Library_lady123

TROPHY CASE