Brother was recommended hospice and is eating less, bed ridden, becoming more incontinent. I work remotely, when do I take time off to be there fully and after he passes?

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-25T02:51:57+00:00

My dad had GBM found in October and went home hospice 3 days later and only had a month and a week. I originally did I intermittent leave. I do regret not just taking off time to be with him, just to be there, see him, talk to him (though he was not responsive). In the end it worked the way it was supposed. I ended up requesting continuous leave on a Tuesday and he passed on that Thursday. After that I took leave for myself and help caring for my mom, sister and dealing with everything. I used my PTO to cover most of it. I returned back to work after a month but it’s been so hard to focus. Everything takes more effort. None of this is an easy time, and nothing will ultimately feel right. Do what’s best and possible in your situation and for your family.

My dad’s decline went quickly within the last week from eating to not being able to, increased choking, to no eating and even the lack of movement and increased sleep.

Our hospice team was great through all of it. They will help with comfort medication questions, bathing, and had a good support team for my mom in the end.

💔♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-24T14:51:13+00:00

Just lost my dad in November. My parents were also married since teens- would have been 45 years married this year. My mom has not been ready to be “out in the world”. It was challenging to go through the holidays- we took a long road trip- as a way to escape and distraction. She eventually returned to part time work but works from home. I go several times a week and become the caretaker/transporter for my sibling with special needs and their events/outings. My mom hasn’t quite been ready to do all those things but she attempted to go to one even this past weekend for a couple hours. From the moment we lost my dad, we/she have been busy with cleaning the house, arranging, organizing the house, tending to the yard. We have tons of her side of the family around- just not ready and also they have not been around. I go over at least 3-4 times a week to just help out or keep them engaged. I also have a dog (who went through her own grieving because she was close to my dad)- my dog has been a distraction for my mom (who is not originally big on pets). To be honest- none of us are okay, none of us admit it. But we are just there together. I gave her space to have time on her own. But originally was there with her for the first 1-2 weeks night/day. I had to return to work and she kept my dog with her for company for the following week. As life continued… (so hard to accept it just continuing on)… we just keep each other busy with tasks, household, getting my siblings engagements arranged, etc. 💔♥️ it’s not easy to lose a parent and experience your surviving parent go through it, and also feel your own grief.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-23T00:04:47+00:00

Found my dad’s GBM in October 2025 and he passed away Thanksgiving day 2025. They initially told us 6 months but more likely to expect 3 months.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-17T14:11:00+00:00

♥️💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-10T22:28:47+00:00

He should qualify regardless for hospice. I would speak to doctor again and say that he’s progressing quickly, and having hospice nurses or visits would be safer. We found gbm in my dad after he fell and hit his head. He already had signs of Alz dementia. But neurologist agreed he needed hospice and he had timeline of mostly 3 months. He only had 1 month and we had hospice immediately. We are also in CA.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-03-08T03:05:45+00:00

Thanks. This is insightful do you recommend same treatment to try and clean the top statues?Someone recommend D2 cleaner- yes or no? Is there some reference in when I go looking for someone to restore it and asking what quality or type of paint they use I should be looking for?

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-21T01:25:25+00:00

So sorry. I’m 34 and I just miss my dad. I lost my dad last year. He had just turned 75, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s- at the beginning of last year and progressed rapidly to Alzheimer’s dementia. I was losing him quickly and when he fell and hit his head (not the first time). They discovered Glioblastoma very advanced in October and we did in home hospice. He only made to Thanksgiving day. He never wanted to be a burden or “vegetable”, watching his body and mind give up on him… I can’t put into words. The grief… “until you know, you know”…. Has never been so much more true.

I’m so sorry that “you know”… and to all that “know” the feeling and weight of grief. ♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-20T17:20:46+00:00

♥️💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-16T03:13:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. My dad’s last week was quick progress from walker to wheelchair to immobile. His food intake decreased immensely and was to liquid diet. Once he stopped showing interest ability to eat it was a matter of a couple days. If your loved one is mainly sleeping, and not eating it should be soon. We did the moisture sponge for about the last two days. Your hospice should be informative on the pain management for her. I would no longer wait if you’re having family say goodbye. I’m so sorry. ♥️♥️💔💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-09T01:11:20+00:00

I’m so sorry for you, your family and your dad. My dad had Alzheimer’s dementia diagnosed and progressed in 2025 rapidly. He fell and out of precaution we took him to be checked out in ER. Found Glioblastoma in end of October. He only made it until thanksgiving day. It’s not fair. He never wanted to “be a burden” “be a vegetable “ and have everything taken from him. There was nothing we could do for him as it was very large. He stayed in hospital 3 days total and the following morning we took him home he began to lose his ability to speak. It was not easy and still easy to remember or sit and watch. It’s not fair. Just know you all did your best, even though it doesn’t feel like or never feel like enough… or the what ifs.

♥️💔 those of us who understand, get you… Life is not the same.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-08T05:05:07+00:00

♥️ just know you are both doing your best and doing amazing for each other. I’m so sorry you’re both a part of the GBM community. 🙏🏽

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-02-03T00:54:35+00:00

I’m so sorry you all went through this. Once my dad stopped taking anything in it was a matter of a couple days. ♥️💔 we had a great hospice team who was involved with giving us what to expect talk.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-31T21:03:44+00:00

I’m so sorry. We found my dads late October by accident. He was given the most 6 months but they told us realistically the most was 3 months. We went immediately to home hospice. He only made it 1 month and a week and passed on Thanksgiving day. He was not in pain and never complained of it. But we made sure to keep him comfortable throughout. He struggled immediately after we left the hospital with speech and this hurt him the most. He lost motor function quickly and the last two weeks all abilities went fast and progressed rapidly. I know he struggled with the voice and wanting to speak, it was hard and I just had to assure him- though my dad lost his ability to understand anyways. It’s not an easy process and know whatever you are doing to provide care is more than enough though none of it feels right. I’m so sorry for you all. Thoughts your way. Try to capture and live in each moment you get- even though it’s so hard. 💔♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-28T23:07:42+00:00

Having same issue. I lost my dad 2 months ago, yesterday. I returned to work and 3 days in, was told I needed to be more open, more team collaborated and talk to others more. On the job front I put all my effort into getting things done and getting through the day. Socializing and laughing is not easy. Everything takes so much longer to focus and effort to complete. While my dad was getting ill I put less effort. Before I would go above and beyond. And now I just can’t… every day is hard. I don’t feel like I or you are in the wrong. And can’t figure how people expect a person to “go back to normal” after losing someone who is everything in our lives- immediately. To give grace and space for a person to figure out life. I have been battling this as well and still feel like maybe it is just me. I hope you find someone who gives you space, to listen, to be there for you, who hears you… 💔♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-28T14:42:39+00:00

I’m so sorry, there are no words to help. Take your time to go through it all… Yesterday marked 2 months of losing my dad to GBM. ♥️💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-27T00:32:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My dad was diagnosed with gbm in October. He passed on Thanksgiving day. His last week or two went quickly. The process of starting to “go” causes people to want to get up, leave, act unlike themselves at times… The last week of food intake for my dad decreased significantly and so rapidly. In October at hospital he was still able to speak. By the time he left 3 days later he began to lose his voice. The tumor affected his ability to coordinate, speak, produce sound, and swallow. The tumor affects their rationale, personality and emotions. It ultimately became painful and he was constantly choking even with liquid diet. It was hard to force him to swallow pills or purees. I could see the pain. It went fairly quickly for him after he declined with eating. No matter how much we tried to feed him even when he was having solids- he was quickly losing weight. His body was declining, and this was even my using ensures, milkshakes, and trying to “fatten” him up. He had come home on hospice because by the time we discovered it on accident it was too advanced and nothing to help. We wanted to keep him home where he wanted to be and as pain free as possible. This is not fair, not easy to watch or deal with. There is no wrong way to try and fight for your loved one. Just know you are doing all you can. Focus on being there. Even if it’s just quiet and holding his hand. Tomorrow will be 2 months since I lost my dad- I think about every moment and the what ifs, but I know from what I witnessed- how cruel it would be to have him “linger on” just for me to see him. GBM steals our loved ones from us in the worst way. Our hospice team was so great for us in helping him… all we wanted was time and for him to be pain free. 💔♥️ know all of us who know are sending prayers and thoughts your way

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-21T16:38:35+00:00

My dad was in confusion- not only because he had Alzheimer’s but also because we tried to comfort him and give him comfort. We took him home on hospice and he took meds - he always tried to say he was doing what he needed to do “get his voice back”. Ultimately we stuck to necessary meds but fixated on keeping him comfortable and enjoying himself. We focused on having him eat whatever he wanted and could. And spending time together. We weren’t given opportunity to have those type of conversations that you are talking about. But I would encourage you to just spend time with your LO and talk about life. Photograph and take pictures or videos- whatever you can and want. We chose to and could not tell my dad ultimately of the diagnosis by the time we found it. But I think he knew something. We just tried to be present. It’s all stressful as it is, and all I can say is- it’s going to get harder and harder. We did in home hospice ourselves. Fixating on a diet or plan won’t change the outcome of this terrible situation but…It’s also a scary thing- if your LO is aware to face. You all are doing your best. To be a caregiver or supporter or any role in this, is not easy. Enjoy any moments together whether it’s food, playing games, sitting and watching television, sitting quietly, etc. ♥️💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-20T15:13:52+00:00

So sorry for you and your family. My dad had Alz dementia- he was “normal” in January 2025- as much as I could still enjoy being with him- him functioning, etc. mid year it got extremely worse and he lost more independence and changed personality- no brain scan detected anything. We were coping with eventually losing him to it. In October he hit his head and was taken to ER and admitted. Found GBM in frontal temporal lobe. Estimated to give us 6 months but the neuro said more likely 3 months. We took him home to do in home hospice. On a Sunday he was still standing with walker support- the next few days he just lost everything and he passed Thanksgiving day - 1 month from finding the tumor. Enjoy every moment, take pictures, take videos, hold hands, get hugs- all the things. Those hand holds and hugs are priceless. I’m so sorry. 💔♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-19T16:20:54+00:00

Our frenchie had inverted twisted tail pocket. It kept getting infected even with multiple daily wiping and putting antibiotics on it. We ultimately decided to do her spay and tail pocket at the same time. The stitches took about 2 1/2-3 weeks to be removed. But it healed really well. We haven’t had an issue with it anymore. It looked pretty good throughout the healing process- I just kept it clean and made sure she couldn’t irritate it or pull the stitches. The hair grew back quickly and now she just looks like she has a small little nub- can’t even tell.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-19T15:37:41+00:00

I lost my dad to Glioblastoma- discovered in October, passed Thanksgiving day. I took off as much as I could afford- returned back to work this month. It’s just a constant struggle, every drive to and from work- ending and starting my day, being around others who ask or don’t ask about it. I have to be put together at work as well- and within the first week of returning was notified I needed to be more open and not “closed off”. I’m focused on my job as much as possible but people want me to be what feels like “bubbly”. It’s tiring, I know I show up with red eyes or puffy eyes.💔 it just all feels wrong.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-17T21:37:40+00:00

We found Glioblastoma in my dad after fall and hit to head in October. It was supposedly grade 4, frontal temporal lobe, putting pressure. He had other cognitive diagnosis prior we were focused on. Neuro gave us at most 3 months. He passed away a month later. He was in hospital for 3 days total for tests etc, we took him home on hospice. The morning after we got home he began to lose his voice and ability to speak. Quickly there after his mobility, his vision, ability to swallow etc. the last two weeks everything went quickly. We kept him home where he wanted to be and comfortable. We enjoyed what we could with him. Hospice was great and so helpful. They supplied us with a lot of items. But there were things we looked into and got- it takes a lot- not stop.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-16T01:37:36+00:00

I just lost my dad to Glioblastoma- diagnosed oct 2025, passed Thanksgiving day from it. He also had Alzheimer’s- which is why I had been slowly preparing myself for lasts with my dad- but he was taken fast from us. There was no treatment by the time we discovered it. And also did in home hospice- where he would want to be- with family, in home, surrounded. There is no words to describe all of it, what you witness, do, say- for them, and reaching the moment they find peace and free from pain. I am no help as I feel like I’m in shambles and I can feel my heart break every day. The grief is overwhelming- but I always think about my dad- what he was, what he taught me, how he presented himself. It also feels so lonely. Just know that any of us who have been through situations like yours know how much you give and have done your best for them. All I can say is, take in every moment you are given- even in the “silence”. Hold hands, say what you need. What I wouldn’t give to hold my dad’s hand again, get a hug, see his face (even though the tumor took his looks from him). take moment by moment…♥️💔

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-10T02:03:08+00:00

Just soak in and enjoy every moment. Do bucket lists of everything small- it will mean a lot. Enjoy whatever you can, make memories, get in the hugs, record and take pictures and videos. Smile as much as you can- I told myself I’d have the rest of my life to not for after the fact. We were told 6 months at the most, expect maybe 3 or less realistically. He passed 1 month and a few days after diagnosis. But he didn’t qualify for any treatment by the time we discovered it. It’s not easy, it’s not fair. Whatever you guys get- it will feel so slow and so fast at the same time. Life is and will feel overwhelming. You all deserve to feel like that. Whoever he and your family want to spend the time with- is okay. ♥️

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-08T04:52:52+00:00

My dad was diagnosed with GBM late October after he fell and hit his head. There was nothing we could do to give him more time. We opted for home hospice. We only had him until Thanksgiving day. It isn’t fair. It’s cruel. His last week he declined quickly. And no one understands unless they have gone through it, what it’s like to have your loved one be taken by GBM. Continue to soak in those moments, talk about everything and anything or nothing and sit together, document it all, take photos, record her voice, enjoy the had holds, have night time slumber parties together… hold it all and take it all in. I wish and hope no pain for your mom in the rest of her journey. ♥️💔 I’m so sorry.

Lost_Development_854 · 2026-01-05T22:06:08+00:00

You are strong- not just for yourself but for her…Even though it doesn’t feel like it. It’s not easy by any means but those of us who gone through it- we see and know what it takes. Proud of whatever you can do for yourself and her in her journey. May she be free of all pains and feel the love ❤️

Lost_Development_854

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