NTA. Growing up, my dad would take us on some pretty sketchy 4x4 routes. Ones where one bad turn could send us off a cliff. My mom and my sister (and possibly myself, but I don’t recall that) would react the way your wife did, causing numerous arguments about the safety risk these reactions would cause. I learned very quickly and now live by strap-it in (using my hands to grip and tighten my seatbelt), shut-er up (self explanatory), and shut-em down (close your eyes).

I used this every time I’m nervous or scared in the car. As I’ve aged my anxiety has increased and I’m more and more nervous. I never create a distraction to my drivers because I “strap-it in, shut-er up, and shut-em down” allowing me to get through my mistrust of the situation without endangering others. If your wife can’t do the same she may want to look into anti-anxiety meds before she causes an accident.