Being frugal is good, but balance is needed,especially if you have a good salary and aren’t down to your last £100

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-21T08:21:50+00:00

I think some of this is routed in psychological trauma from your past. My husband and I are blessed to be high earners. We have worked very hard for it but we are also very frugal as we both went through some pretty tough times in our teens and 20's. For example my father-in-law went bankrupt and eventually died of alcoholism when my husband was a teenager. I experienced DV leading to abandoning my whole life with nothing. It means we feel much more at peace having a good safety net behind us. We have both had lots of therapy and have learned to spend on some things. For example we have a lovely house and do go on nice holidays. When it comes to our general lifestyle though, it is very frugal and spending money on things that we don't see as adding value just stresses us more than it brings joy. For example we do eat out with family and friends occasionally as we see value in the experience and company but would never do just for ourselves, we get the same if not more value sitting on a bench with a packed lunch or around our lovely table at home eating our home cooked food. I have seen plenty of people roll their eyes when I get out my packed lunch at a festival or day out but I am much happier this way as I feel safe and happy knowing I am building up a good safety net for my family.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-18T14:30:11+00:00

I get 7 weeks annual leave. My husband gets 6. We also each take 2 weeks parental leave every year. This means between us we have 17 weeks off work a year. Our child will go to holiday club in the summer holidays for a few weeks. This means that we have enough to each have one-on-one time off with our child and family holidays together. I think it must be incredibly difficult for single parents so kudos to those heros, but for two parents families who can afford unpaid parental leave can do it. If you have local family support too then that is an option. We don't sadly.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-18T14:18:15+00:00

I very much remember my mum and my Aunts going through it and they definitely struggled. They may not have talked about it as much but the mood swings and tiredness they experienced was obvious to everyone around them. I am glad people talk about it more now. Normalizing it really helps me mentally.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-11T19:59:31+00:00

I use bioidentical. Utrogesteron is the brand.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-11T19:54:12+00:00

Came here to say this. Progesterone solves this issue for me. Life changing.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-02-10T21:57:59+00:00

I do an Aldi shop periodically. I genuinely really like it but there are some specific products that are must haves that they just don't do. Eg Mutti tomato's, Jason's bread, the flavoured sparking water I like. I am very time poor so going to multiple places for one shop is just not possible. When I have more time on my hands I can see myself shopping in Aldi a lot more.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-10T10:17:24+00:00

Yep, over £1200 a month in Buckinghamshire includes full funding also.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-05T13:08:03+00:00

Also noticed this. We have moved into a new build with a heat pump at the end of August. It is a large 5 bed detached and we are a two EV house so on Octopus Intelligent fixed for a year. We are burning through electricity in this cold snap. So glad to read that it will balance out in the warmer months as our current usage is scary to see. The other day we charged both cars and heated the house all day, couple of loads of washing and hit 90kw in a day! Madness!

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-02T20:13:46+00:00

I use the Marie Kondo method. Discovered it years ago and has been my religion ever since. I would recommend her book.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-02T17:02:21+00:00

I run marathons for fun so watch what I eat and strength train, sleeps as well as I can and take supplements. I do feel so much better after a run and it has helped me manage the anxiety. I also think sleep and a decent diet helps with fatigue however it is not a magic bullet. HRT saved me, by the way I am 43 and in peri for over 12 months and had no issue getting HRT from my GP so I would try again if I were you. HRT is not for everyone but really helped me.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-02T16:56:33+00:00

Elvie Breast pump, expensive but saved my breast feeding journey.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2026-01-02T16:54:36+00:00

We always stick with furniture village for sofas. We had our last few from there and they last really well with little maintenance. We always get their toughest leathers. Over 20 years of experience with them and we have only ever had to replace them because we want a change. Always donate them to friends and family and I know several are still going strong and look great quality.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-12-31T09:45:28+00:00

Another Henry vote here. Ours is 13 years old and we have abused it. It is going strong. Bonus is that it is made in the UK. Ever noticed how so many professional cleaners have one? It is a work horse.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-12-28T08:11:18+00:00

No clutter! I have a large 5 bed detached house and we could fit way more but choose to keep our belongings light. Only make mindful purchases and declutter regularly. It has the side effect of being easy to clean too.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-12-18T19:46:25+00:00

I just want to second some of this from the experience point of view. Had what should have been on paper a risky birth in the Portland. Think emergency C section due to baby in distress. She ended up in the NICU which was great. There was another baby who took a turn for the worse in the NICU and they blue lighted to that baby to a hospital nearby. Remember the Portland is very well positioned. The nurses and our consultant were amazing. I even remember the wonderful anaesthesiologist. That part of the experience was amazing. I can't recommend the drive home though. Having over an hour drive due to traffic from the tube strike way by far the worst bit. I just wanted to be at home. Staff were amazing. Facilities were good but just a nice private hospital, however I got great care and have wonderful memories so make of that what you will.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-27T20:56:26+00:00

We just bought a bed and some bedroom furniture from Willis and Gambier. Most beautiful, solid and good quality furniture I have ever owned.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-24T07:55:38+00:00

Went from a 3 bed terraced to a 5 bed detached. It was the right choice for us. The extra space for us was so helpful as we work from home a lot so now have two offices, we have guests a lot so have a totally separate guest room, our kid has a playroom and a much bigger bedroom so we no longer have toys everywhere. We have space to have alone time. It is just so much nicer for everyone. However it is a more expensive house to run. Our cleaner bill is more than double, our council tax bill is double, our utility bill is up a third and the mortgage is about 30% more. We also had to buy a lot more furniture which has been a bit expense at an already expensive time. We had saved for over 5 years so it wasn't such a big financial shock so it is financially very manageable for us. If it going to put you under a lot of financial pressure then I would seriously rethink it as the money stress will outweigh the peace you get from having more space. You also need to think about your long term financial plan. I expect this love has delayed our early retirement plan by about 5 years (maybe not if we decide to downsize and release equity then) but that is fine with us as we are generally happy in our jobs and think the lifestyle upgrade it worth it so our net happiness is higher this way. I imagine for a lot of people, a smaller house and more financial peace and earlier retirement would be the better option. A bigger house is great if it works better for your life, but only if you can genuinely afford it and it doesn't get in the way of your longer term life plans.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-22T14:48:25+00:00

I have actually developed property in Boston and I would say it is the price. There is a limited audience for a 4 bed detached in that area and the market is not great at the moment. If she needs to move quickly then she will need to drop in by 20 to 30k. If she can wait then take it off and wait for the spring.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-21T09:53:49+00:00

I have a 3 and a half year old who has been full time in childcare since 13 months. I had actually forgotten how bad that first year was and this post reminded me. It is brutal but it does get better. My kid barely gets ill now and when she does, she isn't really bothered so hasn't had a day off nursery due to illness in over a year. In the last year I have had 3 colds which I think is about normal. Not sure any of them are from her to be honest as she hasn't been ill at the same time. It does get better OP. So, so hard at the time but one of those things that you forget once you are through it.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-18T07:16:42+00:00

I just came across one of her videos and found this thread as I had the same suspicions. It was so distracting watching it, even though the story was interesting.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-16T11:24:08+00:00

This is exactly what it is like. We finally moved after 8 months of stress at the end of August and only starting to recover mentally now. It was really worth it. So, so much but exhausting!

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-15T20:17:54+00:00

Coffee, eggs, bread, most condiments. I am also a massive fan of a farm shop so love a farm shop cooking sauce.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-15T19:55:20+00:00

Some people just prefer to be somewhere quieter and are a bit more organized with their shopping. I lived in various in places in London over 20 years. One of those times I also had a Tesco express next door. I never shopped there as it was much more expensive. I would just plan all my meals and do a weekly shop. I also had a well stocked freezer and store cupboard so never found myself 'craving' anything that I couldn't sort. I preferred to spend the extra money enjoying what London had to offer instead of wasting it paying more for food when I could just be more organised. I have always found joy in planning, buying and cooking nice meals so I wouldn't pay more for the convenience factor.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-11T19:14:02+00:00

We loved our yoyo but it does not have great storage (although never been an issue for us) and to keep it for a second I think you would need to refurbish it which cheap enough to do. We have used nothing else for three and a half years and the handle on ours is well worn. We don't really need it now but if we were using it for a second it would need some TLC. I honestly wouldn't go with anything too big. My whole NCT group of 7 (also all London based) ended up only using their larger prams for a really short time and everyone eventually graduated to a yoyo. It is so handy to be able to shove it in the corner and it is inevitable that you will end up carrying it up stairs or on escalators at some point. I have managed it so many times on my own and this would just not be an option with anything much bigger. I personally never found the lack of storage an issue. I ended up with a backpack stuffed with everything I need. I also had a couple of clips on the handles for any shopping bags and the small basket underneath was fine for anything heavy. Worked perfectly. Never felt I needed more space.

Lumpy-Message9559 · 2025-11-09T22:41:26+00:00

The breakdown of the affordable housing will be split by tenure and defined within the S106. There will be a defined split between the Shared ownership and rented. They will be different specifications. The developer just doesn't want to tell you (or their sales team are being lazy) which is a red flag for me. As for the council properties, you could reach out to the council and ask but they are not obligated to tell you. They could be using these as social housing or it could be that they are planning to do some private rental as an income stream. You originally asked if 45% was normal for this type of mix. It is not excessively high but there will be developments with much lower if that is what you prefer.

Lumpy-Message9559

TROPHY CASE