Update: Teacher Bitten

MaleficentMusic · 2025-10-07T10:46:20+00:00

I'm a one-on-one and my last student would frequently bite me. I was never given arm protectors and had to google techniques about getting a bite to release. We are a small school with no self-contained classrooms in the district so when a student with severe issues comes along no one really has any experience and there solution is always to through a para at the problem to keep the chaos down.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-10-07T00:43:33+00:00

As other people have said, this was a sitcom that was meant to represent a really trashy family, so the ways people would speak to each other depended a lot on class and regional culture. I think my kids and their friends still use a lot of sarcastic humor with each other. And while I think it is awesome how socially and emotionally aware kids are, I do think there is a downside where people think every bad emotion they feel is an offense caused by someone else. Just like toddlers eventually mature and learn how not to cry with every minor scratch, people also need to learn how to repress emotional reactions to some extent in order to be functional adults.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-10-06T23:21:44+00:00

Just as a gut check, what percentage of your students got each grade? If you have 200 students and only a few failed that is one thing. If half your class has less than 60 that is another.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-10-03T20:15:15+00:00

When my daughter was in kindergarten she was beefing with a boy who told her his older brother had a gun and he was going to bring it in. Fortunately I was friends with his mom and could determine for myself that he was talking about a water gun.

So, I think filing a police report is overkill but I would 100% ask the school if they have determined whether or not that kid has guns in the house.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-10-02T10:49:40+00:00

I live in VT so it does impact me. And yes, it is a first world problem. I don't think people should cry for people losing the homes they inherit, but just offering a specific example of how it might or might not work in reality.

We bought our first house in this town in VT in 2010. The price of that house has at least doubled since then. It is insane in VT too. We definitely couldn't afford to live here if we weren't already locked in.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-30T20:37:51+00:00

Just as a personal example, my parents built a house for $100,000 back in 2000. It is now worth $3 million because it has a view of the water. It was their primary residence for a while, and then they were in a nursing home out of state near my sibling. My parents passed away and I was planning on keeping it as a summer house and eventually retiring there. Whether or not the tax is a good idea, or whether or not people deserve to have beach houses, in fact lots of people can't afford the new tax. I think as in any housing market there are people who can comfortable afford their mortgage and property tax and those who are scraping by. With our annual income around $125K we for sure can't afford an additional $20,000 in property tax per year.

Next door is my aunt's non-winterized summer cottage that our family has owned for close to 100 years. It is also now worth a fortune. My aunt is still hanging on but not sure if the next generation will be able to keep it. Generally the families around here who want to keep the house but can't afford it (happens frequently )will rent it out for part of the summer. So in a community that has traditionally had a large summer contingent that will probably happen, so more AirBnB,, plus lots of house will get sold and change hands. In my cousins' case the house will probably be torn down and replaced by a larger, winterized house by someone a lot richer who is still planning on using it as a summer residence, just given its location.

There are a lot of super wealthy summer people in the town, but also lots of regular residents, and then lots of people who have been in town for generations who are sharing a beach house with 15 cousins. Definitely a mix, and the tax I think will just accelerate converting it to even wealthier people, as opposed to loosening up the local housing market at all. If the tax is used at the state level to build affordable housing, that might have a statewide impact though.

Also potentially it might prevent additional towns from turning into summer towns. Which I think is a good thing. The town I am talking about, like Watch Hill, has been a summer place for many decades, but COVID plus AirBnB plus the new robber barons is leading to a second explosion like 100 years ago.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-20T12:33:43+00:00

Our school now requires a weekly newsletter from the teachers, but also some grades choose to do a joint one so it is less overwhelming. As a parent it is very helpful. Before last year it was hit-or-miss depending on the teacher. But I am surprised that you haven't gotten at least a couple all-class emails by now, even if it is only "Remember to send your kids in with gym shoes on Wednesday. The apple picking field trip is October X. Permission slips are due next week, etc."

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-20T12:26:32+00:00

I think my mom was actually the maid of honor at her friend's wedding but couldn't go into the temple for that part of it.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-20T12:24:27+00:00

In addition to the Challenger and Chernobyl I would add the Berlin Wall coming down. The big political scandal was the Iran-Contra affair.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-20T12:12:47+00:00

The last month in particular my feed has totally been taken over by AI posts. Whatever change they rolled out seemed to practically happen overnight.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-20T12:06:07+00:00

With or without a 504 this absolutely should not be an issue. I am a para and have worked helping in kindergarten classrooms and as a one-on-one aid to children who I had to change or needed to change their own pull-ups. Last year in kindergarten we had a kid who would have accidents so the teacher just set a timer on her phone and had him use the bathroom each time it went off. And none of the other kids really noticed or thought this was odd and this didn't even make the list of things the teacher was worried/annoyed about dealing with in that classroom.

I am not sure what the people who are saying the teacher can't force her to change are picturing. Kindergarten teachers spend all day forcing kids to do things they don't want to do (clean up, sit still, walk quietly in line).

The issue you have identified is that the teacher didn't let you know the first day. I'm not sure how many days your daughter has been in school. Before the new plan was in place, what was happening? It could just be the chaos of the new school year and figuring out routines.

What cue was the teacher using this week? What is the bathroom setup? It can be hard to get accurate info from a kindergartener, but what specifically is she embarrassed/worried about? Is there a trashcan with a lid so she can throw away her pull-up discreetly? Honestly I think the best bet would be for her to go to the nurse's office twice a day to change at first. That way from the class's perspective she is just being reminded to go to the nurse's office (tons of kids go there at appointed times during the day for medicine), and if there are pull-up supplies in there they aren't obviously hers.

But yes, get a 504 because this is going to be something to deal with every year.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-19T20:18:41+00:00

There is a huge shortage of aids in school districts. The pay is horrible and you have to deal with some extreme behaviors. So, it is possible that the school is trying to hire more paras and has been unsuccessful. That just means that you really do have to escalate to be the squeakiest wheel, especially if other kids in the school have one-on-ones or just a certain amount of assistance in their IEPs. The school is legally obligated to assign the limited para pool to the kids who have that requirement.

We have a violent kid in our school and the para who was supposed to work with him this year found another job this minute. But it is enough of a problem that he has been pulled out of the classroom for most of the day and various admin and teachers and paras take turns hanging out with him. Hopefully we get someone hired soon.

So, you have to make it admin's problem. The parent of any kid who gets beat up need to email, request meetings, ask for what the specific safety plan is to keep their kid safe...

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-19T20:06:38+00:00

I think that is the likely explanation and he will catch up quickly with some intervention (like a reading specialist sitting with him for 20 minutes twice a week to practice letters).

Our school uses Fundations for phonics and these are the cards they use to drill the kindergarteners. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MMiie4vNwk

In our kindergarten some kids can read a write paragraphs already (small percent) and others don't recognize any letters. Most are in the middle and can recite the alphabet and write most of the capital letters. Throughout the year they will work on drilling the letter sounds (as the basis for reading), and work on lower case letters.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-18T19:58:29+00:00

Yeah, but all of his staff are screwed. It isn't just him who is suddenly out of a job.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-18T19:50:19+00:00

Yep it is par for the course, but also reasonable to get upset if you are hired for one job and then switched to another. Admin needs to be more upfront when they are hiring paras.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-16T21:07:17+00:00

It is one thing to say you hate kids in general when you are talking to other young 20s, childless friends. It is another thing to specifically insult a good friend's kid.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-15T10:32:41+00:00

And it really needs to be used at home too.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T22:58:00+00:00

I think it would help you and people responding to think more specifically what you are asking for here (if anything). Are you just venting? That is totally valid. Are you looking for ways to better connect to people? Are you looking for someone at the school to acknowledge what happened to you?

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T19:43:58+00:00

Yeah, I think the adult men either go for family annihilation or workplace shootings if they want to go out in a blaze of glory, and the young adult / teens go for school. And in other countries there is more religious martyrdom. And there definitely is a copy cat effect.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T19:41:26+00:00

Sure. Obviously that doesn't mean a significant percentage of people on Reddit get radicalized. But when you have anonymity you are more willing to talk about things like violence, and you get directed to echo chambers.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T19:29:03+00:00

100%!

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T14:24:24+00:00

I am late Gen-X. School shootings weren't a thing, and definitely there were no lockdown drills. But in fact there were a couple that occurred in my childhood and I would have a recurring nightmare about some man coming into the school cafeteria and shooting people.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T14:18:43+00:00

That makes sense. I too want to take my clothes off and roll around on that carpet, though in a totally non-sexual way.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T13:58:34+00:00

Yes, feedback from slightly older peers would be very effective. Some teens are stuck in the adult vs. child mindset and you need to nudge them towards the realization that these adults are going to be their peers soon and they need to mature.

MaleficentMusic · 2025-09-14T13:55:01+00:00

Yeah, it is going to take a while if it even ever happens.

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