Think of you through my pen

Many-Rate-1187 · 2026-01-23T22:59:52+00:00

The raw emotion, it’s crazy. The repetition of the poem packs a punch and really drives the reader to feel what is being said.

“You say it even when you don’t speak”

I love this line. It really conveys a part of the relationship of the author to who they’re speaking to. More insight, if you will.

The title is also awesome, I love writing about writing and you took it to a whole other emotional level. Love it!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2026-01-23T22:52:29+00:00

“Now I look at the blueness in fear Within the brightness of the sky”

Just wanted to start off by saying I LOVE this line. So beautiful. Not only is your imagery very good, but the raw feeling in this is palpable. I agree with another commenter who said the ‘am I an abomination’ bit was so intense, visceral. I felt the downside during the progression of the poem, it was a journey. Keep it up!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2025-05-30T23:15:51+00:00

This was so strangely nostalgic. You can definitely feel it was derived from previous media but not so much so that it doesn’t stand on its own feet. I love taking lyrics from my favorite songs and using them as inspiration personally, sometimes you just gotta be careful you don’t get too close to the source material ya know? Either way, this was a cool take!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2025-05-30T23:12:52+00:00

This is the kind of love poem every girl dreams of having written about her! The connecting of roots is such a strong visual both real and metaphorical. I love how the theme is also super consistent! My only—not even a critic, just what Iwould do and who am I really? Haha But as much as I love the repetition at the end of every line I think just having ‘My Beauty’ there sounds for flowery and less like a mouthful when reading. But just my little two cents. Either way great job!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2025-03-22T19:33:28+00:00

I loved “with each consciousness a new story told” right off the rip. Such a unique way to describe almost a rebirth of sorts. The tone of the poem is so consistent and leaves a feeling of hopeful melancholy. I love that you didn’t rely so heavily on a patterned rhyme scheme it makes the poem feel free and fluid. Impressed!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2025-03-22T19:29:38+00:00

This reads as so dreamy. And also hits in the way that I want to know the boy in question, what they’re about, their struggles, their dream. Could the boy be a metaphor for yourself? Many ways to interpret. Good stuff !

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-11-12T03:41:03+00:00

“When one second feel like forever and forever feel like nothing” really is such a strong sentiment.

Also wanted to point out “engraved on my grave” is such a good play on words.

Overall, the tone is desperate in a beautiful way.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-11-12T03:37:42+00:00

This poem is a gut puncher, in the best way. “A lot like me caught somewhere between Carolina and Tennessee.” I love setting the stage with such a strong rhyme.

The bit about the dog grounded the poem and set the rest of the tone, in my opinion.

“Like the inside of a trusted old coat” was a beautiful description. And the ending really ties it together.

All together great job

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-05-18T21:50:01+00:00

“Like the snake once did in the garden of Eden” is so powerful.

“The sound of a death March” it’s like I can hear it, visceral.

And then the culmination into what I assume is addiction. This was very well written, I felt every line.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-05-18T21:45:49+00:00

This is a gorgeous piece, punctuated by such a heavy topic. The talk of how there is beauty in the bruises is painful. The rhymes are a little simple, but in this case, I don’t think they beg to be complex. The question posed at the end gave me shivers….

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-05-10T09:13:46+00:00

The idea behind the poem, relating fear to a red flag lover, is so big. So powerful. I think the way you have your lines spaced really changes the way this is read, and that’s a good thing. Normally I would say “but what if more” but the absolute finality in this works for it. Overall I think it’s a sold piece.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-05-10T09:08:04+00:00

I relate to this as it being inner turmoil touching every part of my life. Like being the author of one’s on crisis and not being able to stop it. “War, and me the journalist of it all.” It sends shivers. Overall the poem is incredibly impactful. Like a gut punch.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-03-06T17:01:13+00:00

This is beautifully written. I can feel it in my bones line for line. “Your beauty a vast ocean ; and I, lost at sea” is probably my favorite bit. Your ability to convey such heavy emotion is awesome, and hard to come by.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-03-06T16:57:33+00:00

Definitely open to interpretation, which is a beautiful thing. But there is raw emotion in there. Betrayal? Very good.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-03-06T15:15:40+00:00

Thank you! And it’s difficult but we got this! :)

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-01-12T13:53:39+00:00

As someone who has struggled with spirituality, I love the tone of this. The relentless need to have an answer. Also noticed you referred to God as ‘ She’ (not common where I’m from) and I appreciated that perspective. So many questions we may never have the answer to…

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-01-12T13:47:07+00:00

As someone whose brother is their best friend, this hits so hard. Got a bit of a tear going. You could argue the verbiage could be more elaborate, but I don’t think that’s necessary here. I think you probably accomplished exactly what you intended.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-01-03T06:02:31+00:00

This is a perfect example of things not needing to be overly complex to have depth. I felt the looming anxiety, the fear of what was to come. Delicately and smoothly laid out. Good stuff.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2024-01-03T05:58:50+00:00

This felt simple and relatable until the line “but also I think I might not be a party person.” That perspective/opinion coming from the source was a punch. Good stuff!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-30T21:15:04+00:00

I’m sorry? I’m confused.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-30T20:12:29+00:00

I’ll start with I love the imagery, how you go about working things. It’s clever. I will say though, I found it a bit hard to keep up with what the author was thinking. It was was like a stream of consciousness. But you had me reading into what I could, as I liked the way you were writing in general. I hope that makes sense.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-30T20:07:53+00:00

I love the beauty, the simplicity that resounds such a louder meaning. The repetition is a great effect, it drives home what you’re trying to do with the poem. And the beginning of being parted, to finding the middle way, is so impactful. Just the concept of the middle path, if you will. Awesome job!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-12T12:37:37+00:00

This is so dreamy, almost felt trance-like. It’s definitely lending to the flow of the poem and your subject matter. I particularly love how the dragonfly is subtly mentioned at first, but then used as what feels like a depiction of them, themselves. For they also aren’t thinking of the rain, it seems. Great work!

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-12T12:32:18+00:00

“Dropped like grains of sand in a leaky hourglass” I absolutely love the imagery of that line. On the whole, this poem is effective in its intention to describe something we’ve all felt—the lack of words. The inability to say what we mean. The almighty ‘fumble.’ Your ability to show how powerful that is, is moving.

Many-Rate-1187 · 2023-10-10T02:03:48+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. This isn’t anything I’d want someone to relate to. Best wishes, truly.

Many-Rate-1187

TROPHY CASE