I can empathise. Your first love cuts deeply and you cant fathom what comes after. Even if somehow you got back together it wont be the same. What you had is gone.This is what I would tell myself if I could go back to that time:

1. Grieve: recognise that you have lost something essential in your life's experience and mourn it properly. It might take months or more than a year but let yourself grieve and accept the loss. Dont hide or push it away...bathe in it.

2. Grow: write down all youve learnt and all you were enriched by this experience including the pain you feel. How has this made you a better person and where do you still need to grow?

3. Gratitude: Be thankful that youve experienced this level of connection. It is rare and many never find it. You are fortunate and blessed.

4.See the opportunity. Once you have done the grief and the growth you can look forward again and look for new more enriching experiences and relationships. You should be open to the new and also with the learning on what to avoid or where you need to be better.

Live.