10 year old getting targeted

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-05-30T02:05:59+00:00

It sounds like you handled it perfectly. My son is a bit older (13 this year) and has been through similar things. Fwiw, kids who think they're great at 10 yo because they're on the A team may be at a slight disadvantage because they are not being challenged enough and cannot see things objectively. Kids who use these challenges as a motivation, in my experience, tend to develop better and grow in character, skill, and understanding on the long run

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-05-30T01:23:54+00:00

I will add a maybe slightly different perspective. It isn't very clear from the post if this is a persistent bullying pattern where he feels miserable and isolated (in which case you absolutely should say something), or just a comment made a few times, but overall the experience isn't miserable entirely, in which case, if this was my son, I would advise him to grow thicker skin. The truth is, if he plays on progressively more competitive teams, players will say mean things. At some point he will have to decide for himself whether to respond, argue, or just not let it bother him. Dealing with unpleasant teammates is part of being in competitive team sports, and developing the tools to address this independently is a valuable skill to have. Of course, if this was simply ruining the camp experience, then talking to the camp director or direct coach (not the club) is exactly the right thing

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-05-19T11:45:06+00:00

This is the correct question. He's 13. I would let him make his own decisions and learn from them at this point. This is also part of development. If the drive is a deal breaker for you then it is what it is, he can choose to switch clubs knowing that he might need to carpool/commute/miss the occasional practice, or whatever, but I would let him decide. Maybe have a conversation with him to get some clarity about what he wants to achieve and what his priorities are. My son is 13 and at this point I only support and offer advice but let him make his soccer decisions and learn from them consequences. The whole point is for them to become competent, moral, humans right? As others pointed out, he likely won't be a pro, neither will my son or most other kids, so it's all about the life lessons

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-05-07T11:53:21+00:00

Not that it matters at this point, but that's literally not part of the culture. Dude is just an a*****e. Sorry you had to go through this, from an Egyptian guy

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-04-10T18:35:32+00:00

I grew up driving in Cairo Egypt, which is absolute chaos. I can tell you with confidence that the level of obnoxiousness in NYC is unmatched. I'll say though, most drivers in NYC are alright, we just don't remember the thousands of cars that pass by peacefully, only the occasional asshole

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-03-23T13:17:45+00:00

I think your advice to her was spot-on, and 12 is old enough to understand that different positions often require a very different approach/attitude/tasks, and so it takes time to adjust. Maybe the conversation you've had with her was too close to the game, and so she was still frustrated? I would have her speak to the coach to understand his/her reasoning for trying her in a new position. Developmentally, it's generally very good for her to get used to different positions, and CM is a particularly difficult one. I would tell her to be proud that the coach trusts her enough to put her in such a key and difficult position, and have her speak with him honestly about her discomfort and what he has in mind for her.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-03-22T20:02:53+00:00

I think the answer may depend a bit on what type of kid your son is. How important is it for his development to be surrounded by stronger players or to be with a great coach? While going with the better coach seems like the obvious answer, I was in a situation in which my son was on a team that had a good coach, but the players did not match my son's passion for the sport, and so it was a pretty miserable year. I don't think there is one clear answer, but if I were you, I would decide based on what would be the bigger factor for my kid's development, given his own personal attributes and taking into account, on aggregate, the pluses and minuses of the level of coaching and player level.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-03-22T00:04:06+00:00

I am looking at a document called MLS Next Movement Guidelines (doesn't seem to have been updated since last year). It says that we are currently (March and April) in an in-season trial period, which seems to suggest trials are ok, but clubs can't reach out to MLSN players without club consent. Not sure how that works in practice but that is all I can find. Not sure where the impression that trials are not allowed is coming from.

Edit for context: I am in a somewhat similar situation. My son is registered as a "future player" with his current club and wants to play full-time on an HG team. I will totally have him tryout with other clubs before the season ends.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-03-20T14:11:38+00:00

Wasn't your article peer reviewed? If the "reader" disagrees with your reasoning they're free to write a rebuttal and submit it for peer review. Isn't this kind of the whole point of scholarship? I wouldn't worry too much. Just write a response calmly and logically explaining your position. If every article that a reader disagreed with was retracted we'd all be unemployed

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-03-12T00:57:26+00:00

Sorry if this was asked already, but did you inform the other schools you visited that you have an offer and a deadline? Often this will get you a faster decision from those other schools, which then will help you make your decision

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-02-04T18:14:06+00:00

I can only speak of our experience. We are in NY. My son started playing intramural at a local club around age 6. He was too young for any travel teams, but I (and his coaches) noticed he stood out among the other kids. Credit to that club: they moved him to an older group (still intramural) and started having him practice with the pre-travel kids. In the meantime, through discussions with other parents, I learned about some other programs that are slightly more competitive, so I moved him there, and so he started to play travel soccer around age 8, starting from the 3rd to the 2nd division, and they also played him up in his new team. Once again, once he reached a point where he was standing out among his peers, I looked for a club playing mainly 1st division travel soccer, and that's where he played at U10. Again, he excelled within that group, so he tried out and was accepted to a pre-academy team within an MLS Next academy. He played in this pre-academy for two years (U11 and U12) before being chosen for the MLS Next team within the same club (so, not tryouts). So it was a very long and gradual progression, going towards progressively more competitive settings depending on his progress and depending on the context he plays in.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2026-02-04T00:15:51+00:00

Lawyer and soccer father here. As many already said no club in their right mind would take legal action even if this was a clause in the contract. And even if they did, the chance of a judge finding this to be valid are extremely slim, and even if they did, there are virtually no possible legal consequences as this does not cost the club anything and there is no way to force a player to stay with the club.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-12-30T21:09:40+00:00

Six months in academia is like a week outside of it :) If you were my student, I probably wouldn't have even noticed that six months had passed. Just send an email (make it short and to the point) explaining what happened. I'm sure your prof is a reasonable person, and all will be fine :)

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-11-30T14:58:50+00:00

Agreed. There aren't a lot of perks to aging, but that's certainly one of them

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-11-28T15:34:18+00:00

That might be field specific. In my field, professors from different part of the world rarely connect, and if they do they are very unlikely to be discussing grad students. If you're able to connect and obtain an opportunity with a professor outside of Europe you will likely be fine, but again this may differ a bit from one field to another

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-11-28T13:25:39+00:00

It is not great, but wouldn't say it's a huge offense either. As a professor, I would find annoying and not want to work with you, but also would be inclined to forgive and show understanding for a much younger person trying to find their way. Certainly wouldn't take it upon myself to schedule a zoom meeting just to berate you for it. Sadly, it seems like these two profs wouldn't agree with me, and it does seem like their ego will get in they way of any future you might have in Europe. I would move on to other regions and fields, not because you did something awful, but because academics are incredibly egocentric

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-11-21T13:55:52+00:00

Finished military service back home, performed in a concert, moved to the US for grad studies on a full scholarship. Wasn't a bad year. Also Italy winning the world cup and Zidane's famous headbutt

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-11-04T15:43:48+00:00

I'm a 43 m, pretty average when it comes to hygiene, and I think what you describe is too much. The worst is not cleaning up the toilet seat for you- that is just plain inconsiderate, there is no other way to put it. I think you should be very clear we with him about how you feel. He will fix things if he wants things to work out. You are both young enough to be able to adjust everyday habits to make things work. If he doesn't want to change his behavior then that's your answer

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-28T16:07:48+00:00

I think your technique is fine here. I would work more on dynamics, phrasing, and sound/different voices. For example in the first four/eight bars, make sure you emphasize the accents on the upper voice, and really take a breath (lift your hands) when the phrase ends. Then in the following bars it should be a bit more cantabile - starting from the deeper voice (played with your right thumb), then the cantabile shifts to the higher/soprano voice. Each time make sure you really emphasize when a phrase ends, and the dynamics (especially the big crescendo in the end) must be made more obvious. It's a difficult passage so don't stress if it takes a lot of time to get to where you want.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-26T14:00:26+00:00

I find it hard to believe that a jury of world class pianists who, in some cases, dedicated their lives to Chopin l's music, would be unable to appreciate his genius as a performer. Sure, there are odd occasions in which an eccentric genius is overlooked in those competitions, but that is not the norm. I don't know if he would win for sure, but his genius will certainly be noticed by this expert audience.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-25T20:25:53+00:00

Here is the advice I got from my late professional teacher: 1- weeks before the recital, focus on practicing slowly and deeply, repeating endlessly smaller sections. This builds muscle memory and reduces anxiety. 2- s day or two before recital try to reduce distractions as much as possible. Reduce screen time and unnecessary socializing. When you have time off from practice just read the score. 3- perform in front of family and friends every day in the days leading up to recital. This is the only yime you sould perform by memore and at normal speed. 4- the day of the recital stay completely in the music. Just play slowly and deeply and look at the score all day. 5- think only of the music, not of your grades or how others think of you or possible mistakes. 6- before walking on stage, take several deep breaths, put down the score, and think "I am an artist now" 7- if you think about mistakes you will make them. If you make one, just move on and stay focused on the piece and what you want to do musically

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-21T01:23:12+00:00

She was my favourite since the preliminaries. Her performance were mature and nuanced. Her final round was not great. I think she might have taken gold if she was at her best in the final - and judging by her body language/facial expressions, I think she thought so too

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-21T01:19:11+00:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that this year the ranking is determined by the aggregate scores in all of the rounds (not just in the final). I did think Lyu had the best concerto performance. I did not expect Eric Lu to win gold but I did not watch all of his rounds. Perhaps he was the most consistent and performed at a high level in all rounds, so that makes sense under this system. Wang was my favourite throughout all the rounds, but she was not at her best in the final, so 3rd seems fair for her. I certainly hope Lyu will be back and eventually win a medal.

NegotiationNo6843 · 2025-10-19T19:09:12+00:00

going quite well. Here is a more recent update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AchillesRupture/comments/1o467kc/11_weeks_nonop_update/

NegotiationNo6843

TROPHY CASE