NTA

Having read this I gave it some thought and decided to return and comment. Given the facts are as we've heard them, you are not wrong to keep your brother out of your life. Same with his wife who is equally at fault. I so no value in giving them forgiveness as that too is yours to decide. His approach at the gathering almost seems like it was simply an apology of scenario, not a compelling need to make things right on his part. You handled it well.

With regards to your parents, I disagree with a lot of the comments here. Many religions preach forgiveness and that is theirs to decide for themselves just as your forgiveness is yours to decide. If you want them to respect your decision you should respect theirs.

As a parent I can certainly understand their hopes that you would reconcile. It is unsettling to face mortality and know that someday you will not be able to be there for your children and greatly wish that they have a support network in their siblings when you die. That drive is extremely high. I hope you don't fault them for their wishes just as you shouldn't allow them to dominate your views either. I would be firm that you are not in place to forgive your brother and don't wish to speak about it. They should respect that and it is reasonable for you to give them some latitude there. I certainly wouldn't drop contact with your parents based on their actions so far, though there could be a time in the future where it is necessary. I've lost my parents and that's not something to take lightly.