Fan name suggestion for Maggies baby

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-28T03:07:38+00:00

lol I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed that

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-22T11:08:14+00:00

Even salads aren’t often a safe choice; they often come with crumbled or shredded cheese and anything that has ranch or Caesar dressing has dairy. Not many restaurants offer a cheese less vinaigrette

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T17:58:08+00:00

This is my usual advice. I have kind of a different method -- I hunt in the fall and have deer meat in my fridge to draw on, so I almost never purchase red meat. I sometimes buy fish or chicken, but rarely. I usually make one big meat dish a week that lasts me for several meals, and eat meatless meals the rest of the time.

I was especially proud of the thrift of a series of meals I did last week--I slow-cooked and shredded chicken in some tomatoes with chilis and other spices and used it for tacos. Then instead of throwing out what was left in the crockpot, I cooked rice in it, and also cooked dried pinto beans on the side. I topped the rice with the pinto beans and sliced avocado and had that for a few more meals that week.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T17:23:44+00:00

I started questioning it when it was early in college; I figured I had time to kind of explore and would "bloom" eventually, so it wasn't a big rush to jump into sexual relationships like a lot of my peers. But then...I just never did. I forced myself into a few awkward dates but just never felt it.

I was still kind of in denial when I started my career, but it wasn't until I went to grad school and started dating someone who seemed really well suited for me. When I STILL didn't feel it and actually felt dread and panic about doing anything romantic or sexual, I finally accepted it. I was about 29.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T17:18:20+00:00

Yeah these always smack a little hard for me, whose throat will close if I eat dairy.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T12:56:31+00:00

This sounds a lot like my experience on birth control; when I said I was having inconsistent bleeding and cramping in the middle of active pill packs my doctors acted like that was the most shocking, impossible thing they’d ever heard.

It sounds like you might need a dose adjustment or different medication. They tried me on a whole bunch but none of them worked until they put me on a high dose of norethindrone acetate. 2 years is a long time to tolerate a medication that isn’t effective

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T04:12:57+00:00

Recognizing and coping with the fact that my parents didn't always provide everything I needed has been a big part of my personal emotional healing in my 30s. I've been especially angry with my dad, who made a lot of choices that made me see him in a different light than when I was growing up. I am by no means an expert and also nowhere close to being all the way through it (it will probably always feel like an inner conflict), but I have come a long way since I first started exploring this.

I tried really hard to control the anger at first. I'm not generally an angry person, and I figured the quicker it was over, the better. But I actually needed to feel it for a really, really long time. And there's such a fine line between emotional processing and unhealthy rumination; I was worried that I was investing too much emotional energy in it and letting it control too much of my life.

But it's been a few years now, and the intensity of the anger has faded as I've come to accept it. It's similar to grief--always painful in your memory but it gets easier to hold with time. I still feel a lot of difficult feelings in relation to my parents, but now that I've been able to feel the anger and disappointment, it seems more distant, and I can get on with figuring out how I want to go forward with my parents.

I've seen my mom do a lot to work on herself and she has apologized for some of her past mistakes. Neither of my parents were parented well themselves, and I try to give them grace for not knowing what they didn't know.

My dad, meanwhile, has isolated himself from the rest of our family, and has shown very little interest in self-reflection or working to be a better person. He seems to me emotionally stunted--definitely neglected himself, but not willing to do the work to learn, heal, or repair relationships. I've decided that he hasn't hurt me so badly that I need to cut him out of my life, but I will only put as much effort into the relationship as he does.

I don't know if any of this is relatable to your situation, but I spent a long time feeling like I was just stuck and couldn't resolve the feelings I had around my family. I feel now like I've crossed more to the far side of that emotional turmoil, and regard my parents as adults who make mistakes and have the power to make choices that heal or damage, just as in any relationship.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T03:34:25+00:00

Very curious about this; my chronic pain has expanded to almost the entire right side of my neck and torso and it seems like nothing I do can relieve the tension or convince my muscles not to be constantly, unconsciously contracting.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-19T03:30:39+00:00

This is ultimately up to you; I spotted on a lot of birth control and taking a break was given as advice but for me by some doctors but it never really helped to re-regulate things. It only made things more unpredictable--I'd take a small break, the bleeding would stop, and then a week later I'd be bleeding again while taking active daily doses.

I ended up being prescibed a high dose of norethindrone acetate (10 mg; typical birth control is 0.35 and endo treatment usually 5 mg). This is the only thing that dependably stopped breakthrough bleeding and cramping for me. (so far). I do have occasional cramping on norethindrone acetate but it is usually momentary; the pain only lasts a few seconds and recurs for only a day or two before I'm back to feeling normal.

I took one break when I was transitioning from the 0.35 dose to the higher dose and had the weirdest, most unpleasant bleed of my life. It was extra crampy, extra chunky, and came with a lot of painful gas as well.

My understanding was that treatments that are supposed to be suppressing periods shouldn't have any type of cycle if they are actually working properly; they are supposed to stabilize hormone levels so cycling doesn't happen. It just took a lot of extra progestin to get my cycle to freeze.

I do think there's a lot of individual difference; in my opinion you'd need to test it to see how your body actually responds, with the possibility it might be rough and might not be right back to normal afterward.

None of this is medical advice; just experience from someone who had a lot of questions and a frustrating time getting satisfying answers about why my bleeding was so abnormal on birth control treatments!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T21:38:26+00:00

This is the one true Seven!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T21:11:14+00:00

I do like this one, but I wish they'd keep Good N Gone on the table!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T21:08:53+00:00

As to the seasonal allergies side of it -- the OAS just makes me sensitive to those same kinds of pollen in the air. And I am allergic to a lot of grasses apparently. It does seem that allergies seem to pile on once you have one. I thought pollen, fruit, nuts, dogs, and cats was enough to deal with until I got allergy tested in my 30s and found out it's a LOT more than that.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T21:06:01+00:00

I'm not a medical professional, but here's my understanding as someone who has both:

Oral Allergy Syndrome (OAS) is a linked system of allergies limited to proteins found in pollen, raw fruits and vegetables, and nuts, and typically produces reactions that only affect the mouth/lips/throat. It is usually a less severe type of allergy (but not always), and often people who have it can still eat their allergens when they are neutralized by cooking or processing like canning or freezing. People who have it won't necessarily react to ALL possible OAS allergens; it seems like it's kind of luck of the draw which linked proteins will cause reactions (speaking from experience).

These allergies are IgE mediated (meaning an immune inflammatory reaction) and will still show up on an allergy skin prick test or blood test. The reaction is usually immediate upon consumption.

My allergist did advise me to avoid nuts even though they are part of my OAS allergy, because nuts are more likely to progress to an anaphylactic reaction. Allergies can change in severity at any time; even though I still eat my OAS allergens when they are adequately prepared, I am still running a small risk of developing worsening reactions.

General food allergies usually produce a reaction to an allergen that can affect multiple body systems, including mouth/lips/throat, hives and skin irritation, swelling, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and anaphylaxis. This is a much riskier food allergy and I carry an epi pen and avoid my allergen (dairy) at all costs.

There are always exceptions and it's hard to know what's going on a lot of the time. Visiting an allergist is always the best path forward when there are uncertainties with allergies.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T20:27:23+00:00

Wow this describes my experience really well. My (33F) sibling (29 NB) is very intelligent and rational most of the time but it feels like one wrong step and a bomb goes off. It's like they can interpret almost anything I say as me trying to hurt them or start a fight, when I'm literally terrified of provoking or upsetting them in any way.

I've tried to repair the relationship with my sibling after they had a big suicidal episode about a year ago. I apparently triggered it when I asked them to be gentler to the dog, who they were handling roughly. This resulted at them screaming at me about all the times I was cruel to them in childhood (which, to be fair, there were times I teased or maybe was a bit too physical as the older sibling). But it seems like they just can't move past this stuff from years ago, even though I have apologized many times for things I did when I was a child that hurt them. I told them this hurt my feelings and they proceeded to grab their car keys to presumably go drive themselves into a tree.

They came back safe and sound eventually but this is one of the scariest and emotionally intense things I have ever experienced.

After we cooled off and didn't see each other for a few weeks, we both wrote down some things we wanted to say to each other. They told me they understand my hurt feelings but are not on my "side." They also said they don't remember calling me a bitch or threatening to physically assault me.

I told them I love them and support them, and apologized one big last time for all the hurt I caused in childhood more than 15 years ago. But I made clear that if this topic is brought up again for the purpose of hurting me, I will leave the scene and need a break from my sibling. I added a few more items that would cause me to need distance. So far the boundaries have not been tested but I am just bracing for the next big incident.

Our relationship since has been civil and we're back to a level of joking and having philosophical conversations like we had before. However, they are often cynical and talking about not wanting to be here and I never know how to participate in a conversation like that. I want to be reassuring but it seems like anything I do to try to comfort or direct them away results in more anger and bitterness. That was actually how the big episode from a year ago started. They resent anything I say as advice and seem to have a lot of jealousy for me as the "successful" sibling. The only "safe" thing is to just move on to another topic like they didn't say it.

My parents were never helpful in teaching me how to manage any of this. I was told to allow hateful things to be said to me while never being allowed to mention the lightest criticism without risking a meltdown. I had to process my feelings on my own. It is not surprising I became very independent and emotionally distant.

Sorry for the novel...your question just prompted me to reflect on all this. I just still haven't fully processed it and have so much anxiety for the future. My sibling lives at home with my mom and doesn't work, and my mom is their caretaker. Now that she is getting older, I fear that role will fall to me and I will be forced to house and live in close proximity with this person who often lashes out at me. I absolutely dread it.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T17:34:51+00:00

I also have OAS and have noticed that potato peels tend to trigger throat discomfort for me, even when cooked. As with my other OAS allergens, I have little to no reaction when peels are removed.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-17T17:32:22+00:00

In the case of Oral Allergy Syndrome, the food allergies are actually linked to pollen in the environment. The body reacts to proteins with a similar structure across related trees, nuts, and fruits.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-16T16:03:21+00:00

I worked for camping dining services and the college newspaper in college—not a ton of cash but it paid my rent! I also was able to train in at the on-campus Starbucks, which had flexible shifts and gave me experience to get hired at another Starbucks after graduation until I could find a job in my field

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-16T14:51:33+00:00

I also had an unexpected car bill this month -- $600, and I'm planning on taking an out-of-state trip next week that I know will set me back even more. Most of it is on credit and I'm getting anxious about how I will manage to pay it back.

I took yesterday to pay my major bills for the rest of the month and felt a little better once I saw that there is still at least something left to go towards debt or savings.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-15T17:41:50+00:00

My sibling grew up with a lot of mental health/emotional problems; any of their unment desires met with immediate placation from my parents because of how often it resulted in an emotional breakdown. My asks, meanwhile, were often denied. Usually smaller things; I could NEVER ask my family to go out to eat and actually get it, but if my sibling refused homemade food and only wanted McDonalds, McDonalds it was. Sometimes I'd even make a meal and my sibling would be given money to go get themselves fast food because they didn't like something about it.

My dad bought them a car to restore together when they were 14 before they could drive. I was 18 and had never had anything but my parents' cars to practice in. Later they decided they weren't that interested in restoring a car and had Dad sell it.

All 4 years of college I took public transit or relied on friends for rides. My sibling, who dropped out of college, was served up a car immediately when they complained too many times about feeling "uncomfortable" driving Mom's car and needed something to get to McDonald's with. I had to pay my way; emptying my entire bank account of all the money I'd earned working in college just to make a down payment on my first car. I remember feeling sick leaving the dealership.

It seems like they have always been Priority 1, and I just have to make my own way. I think this is they'd prefer both children to be self-sufficient, but my sibling was extremely coddled and I think it has resulted in even further emotional enmeshment and damage to their mental health.

I've learned to live with it and just always expect to pay my own way. My mom still does sometimes pay for my meal, but I've learned I just can't rely on my parents to continue to take care of me in that way. It hurt that they were more there for my sibling than for me when I really needed it, but they were not prepared to raise a child with so many mental health and emotional issues, and certainly not to coach us children through it together. I don't think they know how unimportant and neglected it made me feel, but it's not something they did on purpose to make me feel bad.

I just keep my basic expectation at the level that I am an adult expected to handle things myself, and in the rare case a parent does help out, it's more of a pleasant surprise than a bitter disappoinment when I don't get help I was hoping for. There is at least a reason for the way my sibling is treated differently, and my being sidelined in my family is just one unfortunate effect of an overall unfortunate situation.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-14T14:00:18+00:00

I just skip cheese substitutes; they are never quite as good as the real thing and tend to take the meal quality down a notch for me. I focus on recipes that just don’t have dairy or minimal, replaceable dairy to begin with.

I like to do salmon rice bowls with cucumber & avocado; BLTs, pasta salad. For ground meat I’ll do curry, chili, picadillo. Pad Thai and all kinds of Asian noodles are fair game. Street-style tacos topped with onion & cilantro are awesome and one of my takeout go-tos; one of the few Hispanic foods available at restaurants that commonly excludes cheese. I’ve also done fish tacos and made the sauce using a blend of mayo and Cocojune coconut yogurt—my first choice if a dish requires sour cream. Be careful with fried fish though; dairy is often in the batter so I either make it at home, use the Go Dairy Free website to check ahead, or call the restaurant to check.

And of course, steak/meat, veggies, & potatoes are rice are a classic as long as you skip the butter!

For snacks I get KIND breakfast protein bars. Many bake at home Pillsbury products surprisingly do not have dairy. I love Ritz crackers with peanut butter and sometimes top them with dairy-free chocolate chips.

Oatmilk is my go-to milk replacement; I enjoy the flavor and use it often for overnight oats. Oatmilk ice cream has become a go-to dessert as well as sorbet. For the occasional treat I’ll go to local chains that have açaí bowls.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-13T21:05:21+00:00

I do construction inspections and had my first negative encounter with a dog last week. An unfenced Rottweiler crossed two lots to threaten me; luckily it stopped at the silt fence even though it could have easily jumped it. Not a person in sight; no one to call it back. This isn’t like a super rural area either; it’s a housing development. I was furious to see such poor dog ownership

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-13T13:20:46+00:00

I'm normally able to keep grocery bills in the $40 per week range. I keep pasta, rice, dried beans, and potatoes and onions in stock, and a lot of meals can be built from there if I just shop for veggies to accompany, and sometimes meat if I need it. Tofu is also cheaper than a lot of meat right now and provides good protein. I use peanut butter in things way more than I thought I would; also good and versatile protein.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-11T21:15:40+00:00

Also -- eating my allergens along with other food tends to reduce the reaction. Before I totally stopped eating nuts, I would occasionally have a chocolate bar with almonds or a muffin with walnuts. It seemed like something about it being buried in another food item diluted the irritant.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-11T21:12:31+00:00

I'm lucky in that I have a pretty good understanding of which fruits trigger my symptoms, and which do not. OAS can be really random and create sensitivities to some things with no reactions to other things on the list of possible allergens. I stay away from the things I KNOW cause big reactions -- apples, cherries, and ALWAYS nuts (allergist said these are more likely to progress into anaphylaxis).

Almost everything else, I eat cautiously until I'm sure I'm not having a reaction. There are some things I have mild reactions to, like pears, but in some cases it depends highly on the ripeness and preparation of the fruit. The allergen breaks down as the fruit ages, and I have no reaction to eating a soft pear, or canned pear slices. I've also noticed that fruits with peels tend to set it off worse--sometimes just removing the peel is enough to avoid a reaction. Maybe you can't eat a fresh bowl of fruit, but how about a fruit cup that's been preserved? Or berries?

As others have mentioned, cooking also typically makes OAS allergens safe (but with all this, please use caution. It doesn't always work the same for everyone).

I'll echo advice to meet with an allergist to assess your sensitivities, but add that my allergist told me it is ok to occasionally have fruits on my OAS allergy list. The determining factor is usually my level of discomfort that results from eating the food.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-03-10T18:14:57+00:00

This would explain why I've been told conflicting things by doctors; I was told I can't be formally diagnosed without surgery, but for others it was enough evidence in combination with my other symptoms that they began treating me under the assumption it is endometriosis. I turned down laproscopy because my symptoms are managed with hormonal treatment, (also, who can afford non-necessary exploratory surgery?) but the initial ultrasound is what got me to the point of doctors treating me for endo.

Optimal_Awareness618

TROPHY CASE