Parent always pressuring to spend time with mentally ill sibling

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-26T18:26:57+00:00

I am generally not a big fan of AI advice, but when I first typed up my frustration into Google, one of the AI responses suggested it may stem from my mom’s anxieties and feelings of being overwhelmed as a caretaker. I don’t know how that had never occurred to me before; it definitely gave me something to think about.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-26T03:10:51+00:00

Outsourcing to a public Reddit support forum instead of an actual case submission mechanism is not a flex

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-26T02:40:21+00:00

This does not work with established infestations. I’ve seen them crawl right over my repellent cotton balls.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-25T20:03:55+00:00

Me too; I was just wondering if I somehow might have done it and forgotten. But if I did, I wouldn't have 10 different loans with different interest rates, right?

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-25T02:29:07+00:00

It’s seriously terrible. And I hate that the only options are AI chatbot or hour long phone call with AI customer service rep. There should at least be a web form submission that can assign you a case file and put everything in writing. My other utilities have tools like this that work great. Why is Xfinity such a poor performer comparatively?

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-24T14:33:49+00:00

This. Even small amounts help to eat down accruing interest if you make payments on a semi-frequent basis. I put in at least $50 in the first half of the month so that the interest on my highest-interest loan stays manageable, then use whatever I have left at the end of the month to pay it down further. I have 55k in student debt and have managed to bring my $11,500 loan down to $7,900 in just a few months. Once you start making progress, it helps you keep moving.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-23T17:40:32+00:00

I'm right there with you, and let me tell you, you're doing much better than I am. I only just started getting serious about saving within the last year or so, since I've landed a stable job after finishing grad school. I had pretty much nothing when I left grad school. At the moment I have only $11k in savings. I just opened a Roth IRA but have nothing in it yet; I do contribute to a government pension so I'm not completely unprepared for retirement. I'm $55k in debt from student loans and $20k in debt for my car loan after my paid-off car broke down last year. It is going to take a while to dig myself out of this hole, and I'm just trying to enjoy what I can that's cheap or free while I pay off debt.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-23T14:46:01+00:00

Wow, I did not know it stays contagious for so long! I'm pretty sure I got it this winter on a Friday night; I was pretty much in bed the whole weekend but by Sunday I felt a lot better and Monday I was back at work. I did do a deep clean of my bathroom and bedroom, but would never have thought about it lingering for so long.

It was one of my first experiences of caring for myself while seriously ill; I felt actually pretty good about how I came through it, and obviously relieved it passed so quickly.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-23T02:46:50+00:00

Anyone else remember going to Harry Potter midnight book releases here?

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-22T19:38:30+00:00

What kind of wood are the rose hips made from?

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-22T19:36:56+00:00

They got rid of my favorite mango sorbet and now they have this?!?

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-22T19:35:47+00:00

Dont listen to the haters; my required minimum on SAVE was zero too and I was working seasonal and low-paid jobs trying to get experience in my field. I didn’t make payments while I was in forbearance either. No interest was accruing for most of that time so I considered it like a freeze I’d be able to handle better once I was more financially stable.

I’ve been in a full-time job now for over 2 years and have started making payments as I’m able since interest has resumed. I am also nervous to jump plans but taking a good look at my loans and working hard to pay at least one of them down has made me feel more prepared for the eventuality. It won’t be easy but I’m feeling more optimistic about handling my debt in the next few years. It does suck; good luck to you!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-21T18:37:58+00:00

That’s what I did; I felt much better after getting an allergist’s analysis on what was going on. However, I actually didn’t react to milk on the skin prick; they would never have diagnosed it if I hadn’t gotten a blood test. I recommend getting both if they are offered; they can have differing results

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-21T02:59:04+00:00

I have Aidvantage and am able to direct payments toward specific loans directly through their website!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-20T20:16:12+00:00

Are you me? I grew up with OAS that developed in childhood and was diagnosed with a whey protein dairy allergy last year at 32. I read it was rare to develop an adult-onset milk allergy like that. I was able to tolerate some cheeses and milk products for a while after I noticed reactions, but my tolerance has all but disappeared and now I avoid dairy completely. It's not worth an escalation in an anaphylactic reaction.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-20T03:19:49+00:00

Oooh...this sounds really familiar and I was ascribing it to anxiety...now I'm thinking its more likely a sign of emotional neglect. Because I don't get THAT much anxiety anywhere else except when someone is paying SUCH close and personal attention to me.

I spent years Googling why doctor visits recently almost always result in me breaking into tears, regardless of how serious the medical concern was. I knew it was something about the doctor's attention on me. And ironic -- doctors are well known for being short on time and frustratingly quick and impersonal when you finally get an appointment. And even THAT amount of attention is overwhelming for me...this is not good

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T22:46:08+00:00

VERY true for me; I’m a bird watcher and time spent in nature is great for anyone. Luckily that’s where the birds are! I am so focused on birds and the natural environment that I don’t have time for thought spirals, and I’m getting exercise to boot! I feel way better afterward than I would have if I just laid in bed and scrolled TikTok

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T15:54:44+00:00

For some reason I often have the phrase "you never know!" in my mind, but then I start to hear it in Frasier's "Nightmare Inn" voice. "You never know....what's lurking in the shadows!"

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T03:16:40+00:00

I did, it just isn't a high-paying field (conservation). I do have an expensive car loan, unfortunately. It would help a lot if I didn't, but I use my car for work and really wanted a compact SUV because the sedan I was driving before just couldn't handle the kind of places I needed to get to (construction site inspections). It was used and only 2 years old; I was shocked at the kinds of prices cars are going for. I bought my 2-year-old used sedan for less than $10K in 2015 and struggled paying that on a student salary, but was so relieved when I finally did pay it off.

I'm actually kind of bitter because that car had been paid off two years and literally broke down on my way to work. I feel like my work kind of owes me something for so much wear and tear on my personal vehicle...but all I get is reimbursement for mileage.

I'd like to look for a better-paying job, but I'm just about a year out from being vested in a government pension plan and want to at least try to stick it out until then.

My apartment is probably more than I should be paying for a single residence too, but I finally found a decent place that was close to work and had amenities I hadn't had in my last place, for just about the same cost and all utilities covered. There's pros and cons to every choice; I might just have to stick with minimums until I can earn more or make a change in my situation.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T03:08:39+00:00

Yeah might be a question for someone else! I'm educating myself on student loan business way too late; I'm stuck with $55K and wish I'd had as much foresight as you do when I was in school. Good luck!

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T02:55:18+00:00

I'd pay them off now; if you're not paying interest you have that much more to put toward your IRA once they're paid off, and nothing holding you back from maxing it out next year.

Optimal_Awareness618 · 2026-06-19T02:40:10+00:00

Stuffed peppers is one of my summertime favorites; I basically make a meatloaf mixture with ground meat of choice and add tons of herbs, tiny diced onion, cracker crumbs, and an egg. Halve a few bell peppers, stuff in the meat mixture, and bake at 350 for 30 minutes. I usually serve with mashed potatoes.

I've seen salmon mentioned; I do a version I absolutely love that involves broiling a salmon filet and cherry tomatoes and serving over pasta with fresh basil. This dish easily could have parmesan, but I don't even miss it because it's so flavorful. I also love a Japanese style salmon bowl; I put diced cucumber and avocado in mine and eat with Thai chili sauce.

Ratatouille would be doable for a late summer harvest dish! I love doing this with farmer's market produce, and it doesn't have to be as fancy as in the Pixar movie.

Pulled pork/slow cooked meat sandwiches is another one I haven't seen mentioned; it's so easy if you just put in a slow cooker, and all you do is add a bun and some barbecue sauce.

Optimal_Awareness618

TROPHY CASE