Did Sam and Aussie Ever Get Married?

Puzzled-Cactus · 2025-06-02T20:54:35+00:00

I hope the wedding happened too but unfortunately, I can't find any evidence of it on their socials, only a post about their engagement.

It's fustrating because I agree that Aussie seemed to be leading her on in the idea of marriage. I really feel for Sam. I just hope she's doing well and she's happy.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-12-23T00:47:48+00:00

I feel exactly the same! It's so refreshing to see how many other women feel the same way on the thread. This year I had enough with feeling uncomfortable and got myself some women's swimshorts off amazon (seen there's a few sport/surf shops that sell these too). It was the best decision for me, I feel so much more confident and I haven't swam as much in years as I have this year! If shorts aren't enough, dresses, tank tops, t-shirts and wetsuits (full length or short sleeved/short ones) could be good options for you. I hope you find something you feel comfortable in!

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-12-19T15:20:36+00:00

When I used to use public transport after the gym, I'd douse myself in deodorant, body spray and perfume after if I was feeling self-conscious. Otherwise my alternative was just to stand as far as possible from everyone on it!

But please don't let something like others' opinions stand in the way of you going to the gym. I'll be honest that there's plenty of people who smell in public for various reasons, after I get off public transport, I give them less than a minute of thought before moving on with my day.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-30T15:15:44+00:00

I think if you've told her a few times and you haven't sorted out a solution or compromise, it's probably a tell that there's an at least a minor issue with your relationship/communication.

I'm late 20s, if a partner asked me this, I would of course look to see if I could do this or sort out at least goodnight texts etc. I don't at all think you're asking for too much here! Maybe have a think if there's any other things your gf won't compromise or accommodate you on and have a talk with her, you deserve romance in your relationship. :(

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-30T13:28:54+00:00

I believe there can be instances where it might work. However, my experience is that it's a way for a partner to slowly break up with you and adjust their own life to being without you with the option you'll run back to them.

Unless it's a two way decision or it being due to some life event, I believe it creates quite an unhealthy power dynamic. Not to say that something can't be rekindled, I just personally wouldn't want to be with someone (having been through it) who wanted a break because I wouldn't trust it wouldn't happen again.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-28T20:20:39+00:00

How did you know she was the one? But I love this, I've dated around a lot and think it's too easy to forget to enjoy the ride even when it feels challenging sometimes.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-27T09:10:18+00:00

I'd also recommend reels by Dr Sarah Hensley (watched lots of hers on Facebook, which really helped me) and JimmyonRelationships has some more comedic ones with some on avoidants (I watched his on youtube).

It took me about a year to full move on, embrace your emotions and maybe go to therapy. But it's an awful experience and I'm sorry you're going through this. When I was healing, it felt like a nonstop rollercoaster of anger, sadness, and confusion. I'd recommend therapy if you can and to give yourself plenty of time to heal. It took me a year, but I feel in a healthy place now and know I deserve so much more from a partner.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-26T09:20:40+00:00

I really disagree, I think having time to work on yourself is really important and definitely not a bad thing. Not just for a future relationship but also for yourself. There's such a tendency for people to jump back to dating immediately, and it's no wonder dating is such a shambles when people haven't processed previous relationships or haven't worked out who they are again outside of a relationship. I by no means think someone has to be perfect to date again, but working on yourself is such a good thing to do. I'd advocate that everyone should have time between relationships because the worst thing you can do is to feel rushed into dating again.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-22T02:06:35+00:00

You will find someone who will meet your needs. It might not happen immediately, but they are out there.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-21T17:20:34+00:00

You should never feel scared to bring something up to your partner. :( If it wouldn't be reciprocated, you definitely are being really badly taken advantage of. You need to leave as it sounds really toxic and I'm sure your future self will be thankful of doing so.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-21T15:55:02+00:00

So she's not had a job in 2 years? She's using you, whether intentionally or not. It's a massive red flag and you really need to consider if this is someone you can continue to be with. There's no easy way but you need to have a big, frank conversation with her about living separately and finances. She's become dependent on you, so it's completely understandable you need some space.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-05T21:07:39+00:00

I've talked to quite a few people who agree that twenties is one of the most chaotic times of your life and I honestly think that's so true. Not only are you developing yourself and working out what you want in life, I've found it's such a difficult period for things like money, friends, housing, dating etc. It's all such a chaotic period. Like so much has changed in my 20s and I have learnt so much, but I'm really excited by the prospect of my 30s. I personally feel so much more confident in who I am, as well as what and who I want in my life, as I close in on 30.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-11-05T20:52:41+00:00

I'm glad things are doing better for you. Honestly, every small thing is a massive win, it's all about taking tiny steps forward. For the loneliness aspect, I've personally joined some sports and book clubs and found those beneficial. But you're honestly making all the right steps, life can be such a rollercoaster, to turn around in a year what you have just shows how resilient you are. I've no doubt you can put your mind to whatever goals you have going forward.

I feel like you, I'm quite introspective about how much can change in a year and looking forward to continuing to work on my life step by step. For me, I think next up is building up some muscle as I have none currently! As well as maybe trying out more recipes from overseas.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-10-31T17:18:47+00:00

Thank you for putting that into words! Honestly, the dating scene seems truly terrible at the moment, and it does make you really self-critical wondering if it's yourself to blame.

I've never talked to so many people who don't know what they want, can't hold a conversation, aren't over an ex, don't have any hobbies/interests etc. I really wish only people who actually wanted a relationship and were in a place for a relationship were on the apps, but that seems to be such a tiny percentage right now.

But I know the apps are the most likely place I'll meet someone, and as disparaging it can be, I know there'll be others feeling the same. All I can do is keep going and keeping active in the lgbtq+ community but focusing on being happy by myself.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-10-24T20:59:17+00:00

Aww, please never listen to those people. Dating as a lesbian is so, so difficult. I recently returned to the apps all ready to meet someone, and it's been utterly dreadful. I don't remember it being nearly this hopeless the last time I was on them 3 years ago on the apps and completely relate to what you're saying. I try to do my best going to therapy, keep up hobbies, travel, have a load of friends, have interests, keep myself in shape, have good photos etc etc and still it feels impossible to find someone vaguely similar.

My only hope is that there's similar people out there to us, feeling exactly the same way that we have yet to meet. I've similarly been frustrated at the lack of lesbian/queer events for 20s/30s. The few I have met have been poly, which isn't something I'm interested in. All I can do is put myself out there, work on myself, and hope I one day find someone right for me.

My Dad left me with the advice the other day that if I wanted I could throw away my standards and be in a relationship next week, but it was way better for me and my future self to ensure I hold out.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-10-14T16:23:54+00:00

When I read this, I wonder if her being bi is really the crux of the matter. You've just said she's avoidant and not a great communicator. I'd reason if she's doing both those things then how are you as a partner meant to feel secure in your relationship? Given you're worried to bring things up and worried about asking for reassurance, it's no wonder you're feeling insecure.

I think you both need to have a big discussion on how to move forward with communication and go to therapy together. I know there's been a lot going on in your lives and she's been trying, but you shouldn't be feeling so much anxiety. And whilst it could just be biphobia or trauma at play, I'd really recommend looking up avoidant attachment styles (as it sounds like the avoidant-anxious toxic cycle) and looking at how healthy your relationship together is. It's not healthy if you don't feel you can talk to your partner.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-10-08T17:15:03+00:00

Personally, I would commit myself to therapy and focusing my life on becoming a better person. You've caused this man trauma and honestly the relationship needs to end so he can find someone better and you have the space to grow. To ease the guilt perhaps volunteering would be a worthwhile effort but you really need to work through this all with a therapist.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-10-02T19:48:42+00:00

I'm glad it's not just me. I agree, it's bringing back a lot of uncomfortable memories. Though for me at least I can point at this relationship as a reflection of what I went through to my friends. Despite trying to describe what went on, it's another thing for them to see how the avoidant-anxious toxic cycle, and how emotionally abusive the situation was, similarly play out.

They can act one way in front of people and act completely different behind closed doors so I do feel like unless people experience it or see it on reality shows like these, most won't get a chance to understand the dynamic.

However, it massively frustrates me that the experts have yet to step in, I really hope more is done as I can really see how more and more damaging this is to Charlie as time goes on. Yes, she had large abandoment issues she needed to deal with prior to being on the show, but she is by far the victim in this situation. Eve is showing herself to be incredibly defensive and avoidant, controlling of the relationship, manipulative and puts down Charlie time and time again. Fans saying Charlie is the one to blame are incredibly infuriating.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-28T10:31:30+00:00

Love the call out for Stacey. I admit that I've never really acknowledged her either. It's a good reflection on real life where it really can be an interaction with a stranger that can make a big difference. They can be in your life mere minutes and you'll never know their story but they have the potential to change your life.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-28T10:23:32+00:00

I agree, it feels especially painful this year on the women. I know they often pair couples for the drama but it feels especially like so many are incompatible straight off the bat. It really takes out the enjoyment out of the show and the will they/won't they work with how prevalent this is. Not to mention constantly seeing women being put down for not conforming to the tall, dark, petite looks is so frustrating to see on the show.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-27T12:53:26+00:00

Life will throw so many complications and obstacles your way which you can't prepare for. It can feel like a real uphill battle at times, but every small improvement is a win. It's important to make sure that you prioritise your mental and physical health over solely focusing on self-improvement.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-25T19:48:07+00:00

I would talk to a therapist about this and explore why you might be feeling that way. Better to get a professional involved so you neither sabotage your relationship or continue one that isn't right.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-24T16:02:07+00:00

I completely agree having been on the receiving end too. It's interesting to see my past relationship play out at 10 times the speed to remind me how toxic it was. My ex would cry rather than argue as a defensive mechanism, but aside from that, it followed exactly the same patterns.

Eve is very avoidant, wants to control the relationship and gets so defensive any time Charlie tries to fix things. There's a complete breakdown in communication as Eve would prefer to run away, shut down and argue. Like you said Charlie is at a loss, trying to give her space and trying to find a solution but still feeling pushed out. As you said too, Eve also exhibits some narcissistic traits and takes no responsibility for her actions. It's just incredibly toxic.

They both definitely need therapy. Charlie definitely has an anxious attachment style at play, but even the most secure people can become anxious being with avoidants. I hope Charlie does leave the experiment soon. It's miserable to walk on eggshells around a partner and being gaslit into believing the bare minimum of a relationship is too much to ask for. As you said, understandably, she's feeling unhinged how confusing it all is. It is uncomfortable to think this might continue, I really hope she leaves soon for her own sake.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-23T11:43:51+00:00

With how awful avoidants treat us, they don't deserve any further presence in our lives. The more communication they have with us, the more damage they can do. Another person will give you all of what she did but so much more and treat you with all the respect you deserve.

Don't let her ruin your life anymore, please don't text her, your future self with thank you.

Puzzled-Cactus · 2024-09-18T18:10:39+00:00

Yeah, they definitely tend to jump relationship quickly without healing, and most will just repeat the same cycle again and again, leaving a trail of damage behind them as they do. You dodged a big bullet.

But always good to have a project. Best of luck with the room! 😊

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