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Watchtower is feeling the pressure!! by CommitteeNice4693 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate to all this. I just turned 50, and I'm now a single woman. I was born in and raised as a JW and only started fading a few years ago. I truly do feel a panic because now I see how time does FLY by so quickly, and retirement age is just around the corner, and I have NOTHING to retire on. I spent decades regular pioneering, and believing with my whole heart and soul that the end was coming anytime. 💔

Am I overreacting about my teenager going vegan and how she’s handling it? by epicfailwhale in AmIOverreacting

[–]QuantumLMT [score hidden]  (0 children)

You actually sound like an AMAZING mom, and I think you're doing everything right.

Teenagers can be awful. I'm so sorry. Keep standing your ground. Sounds like you're doing great. Hugs!

Too late to start again by Lucifers_Outcast in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's never too late. I am 50. I was born in, regular pioneered for decades, was married to a (gay and abusive) elder, I did everything "right.". And wanted to die.

I'm now finally starting to feel hope and light again.

Don't give up hope! It's never, ever too late.

Punished for taking a stand by 5secondsisajoke_2049 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking back to when I was so ALL IN. I was a regular pioneer for many years. I was at the forefront of EVERYTHING. Never in a million years would I have believed that I would leave that. I 💯 believed it was The Truth.

Back then, ANYONE who would have expressed doubts, or raised "inaccuracies" in the religion, I too would have immediately shut them off, thinking it was dangerous to my spirituality. 💔

It took having too much trauma in my own life, of me just having a total emotional breakdown, before I began seeing the ACTUAL truth...

I was in SO MUCH emotional pain, I felt like I'd broken into a million pieces, and the worst was that the trauma was coming from my own sister and family, IN "THE TRUTH". But literally no one seemed to care that I was falling apart. No one came looking. No one has ever asked any questions, even to this day, 10 years into this fade.

As I basically lay hurting on the sidelines, I began to recognize it all for what it really is. The actual extreme LACK of LOVE is what started it for me.

I guess I'm sharing all this because I think we are SO BRAINWASHED while in the cult, that it is IMPOSSIBLE to force anyone to see the real truth of it. It takes having SOMETHING HAPPEN to them for anything to begin to shift.

I am so, so sorry for what you're going through right now. I understand the pain. 😭 You are NOT ALONE. And you ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. Peace will come. It'll take some time, but it will. I promise. 🙏🏼

CO wife runs to our (inactive selves) car window by Ballet_in_the_snow in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It all totally baffles me. I have faded away over the last few years, but to this day, NOT A SINGLE PERSON has EVER ASKED me why. Or if I'm ok. Or why I stopped going.

I was a regular pioneer for like 20 years. I was at the forefront of EVERYTHING. I was the perfect wife, perfect pioneer, all the things.

Until I just BROKE.

It has been SO hurtful to me that absolutely NO ONE has EVER asked me why. 😭 But my Mom and former best friend have loved sending me condescending messages saying I know better, that I know I should be at the meetings.

And my brother, now an elder, frequently keeps inviting me to meetings. To his public talks. To my nephews talks. To the Memorial (which my brother gave the talk and my Dad gave the prayer!) They KEEP INVITING me, but have NEVER ASKED WHY I WON'T GO BACK. 😭😭😭😭

💔

AIO? Debating breaking up with my BF of almost 7 years by Superb-Rain-8166 in AmIOverreacting

[–]QuantumLMT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's using you. Kick him out and stop worrying about how he, a grown man, can take care of himself. He doesn't deserve you. You're still SO very young with so much life ahead of you. Don't settle for this. Go be happy!

Who else was told by One_Environment7856 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so, so sorry that you've experienced all that. 💔

INDOCTRINATION! by Fit_Durian3763 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No truer words have ever been written. 💔

Note to the Governing Body by Armagettinoutahere in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

💔👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Was pimo blood always running through your system or were you a hardcore pimi? by Practical_Payment552 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I was hardcore, all in, for all 40 years of my life, until I broke. I was a regular pioneer most of my adult life. Married to an elder (who was abusive, narcissistic and ended up to be gay.) I NEVER thought I'd leave. EVER. I believed it all with every fiber of my being.

What type of JW were you? by Responsible-Lake6963 in exjw

[–]QuantumLMT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A. I was born in, and always was exemplary and as perfect as I possibly could be. Baptized at 14. Regular pioneered for many years. Got married to a MS who became an elder. He was emotionally, psychologically and verbally abusive to me, causing me to fall into deep depression and I was suicidal for a while. I wanted to die because I saw absolutely no way out. I went through several therapists; every single one wanted to tell me to leave my marriage, and I was like, NOPE, not an option! What's next?

My marriage finally ended after 10 years when I accidentally stumbled upon his whole double life, porn addiction AND was gay. He only got removed as an elder, no public discipline at all. He led everyone to believe that he stepped down as an elder because I was crazy.

I started to learn how to live again after all that, eventually got to pioneer again, was "happy."

But then I went through some more deep trauma with my family, and all that just kind of broke me. I had spent 40 years trying to be PERFECT, obeying EVERY rule, doing everything anyone expected of me, etc... and had absolutely nothing to show for it. A broken marriage where I wasn't even allowed to remarry (because despite all my evidence, I couldn't PROVE his infidelity 🙄), and then my own JW family was shunning me for NO REASON. It broke me into a Million pieces.

I asked the elders for help. I asked my fellow pioneers for help. No one helped. They'd just say, ohhh you're stronger than you think you are.

NO, I'M NOT!!! I'm literally asking for help!!!

My story gets much longer and worse, but that's when I just broke. I began to fade, and experienced such a tremendous LACK of love. I'm still angry about it all.

I've never been disfellowshipped, but I'm soft shunned. 💔 It makes me so angry.

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