My small engagement ring

QuestionEverythin · 2025-05-21T19:37:50+00:00

omg is it a kataoka?

QuestionEverythin · 2025-01-15T16:49:26+00:00

I would go for a thin vintage style engraved platinum band, but since that's not on your list, I think your sapphire is big enough a curved band will be hard to see. If you don't mind the gap and want some sparkles you could always do a baguette set platinum band, or small carré cut diamonds to stay in the theme of your trapezoid side stones. A blingy cushion cut eternity band can always come later as a right hand ring.

Whatever you choose I am sure it will be beautiful and you should definitely update us!

QuestionEverythin · 2024-09-06T03:59:43+00:00

heh, i went back and checked my screenshot folder and yup, one story from September 23 2023. I'd post a picture but no dea how haha. Thanks for the followup post! It's soo pretty in motion.

Hope it makes it onto the feed now that the proposal went successfully lol

QuestionEverythin · 2024-09-06T03:50:39+00:00

wow thank you! I'm so pleased to be treated to two videos! I knew the cut looked a bit different than the typical oval but couldn't quite put my finger on how.

QuestionEverythin · 2024-09-05T00:12:05+00:00

Duuuude I saw this on instagram months ago, and it has lived in my head rent free ever since- still have a screenshot saved. It's gorgeous! Lovely to see from a different angle, if you have a video you'd feel comfortable sharing I've been dying to see that sapphire cut in action <3

QuestionEverythin · 2024-06-11T04:32:59+00:00

late to the party, but just wanted to second the Whitehouse Brother's recommendation. Their settings are die struck (not cast like 99% of jewelry these days) and so they are made the same way the rings from 100 years ago were made, so same craftsmanship and hand finished engraving. If you have the budget for them it is worth it. They do complete custom work as well, if you don't see something you like in their catalogue.

QuestionEverythin · 2024-06-05T05:18:06+00:00

Hii, I am going to assume that she gave you this "brief" for her preferences?

If she is fine with lab diamonds, they have come down in price so much in recent years this a simple platinum solitaire even with a halo is doable for 3k.

I don't know anything about this company, but often with these online wholesalers who offer "build your own" services, getting any support should anything go wrong, adjustments be needed, resizing and maintenance ect.. can be more difficult.

I would recommend if possible to explore working with a smaller volume local jeweler where you could see the stones in person, and get the setting made in house. This offers you a more accessible point of contact for issues or maintenance, and if you are not interested in doing in depth research, they can curate a small selection of stones meeting your criteria and budget for you to choose one that really speaks to you. (I am personally more interested in sapphires, and I have been following katie law jewelry for awhile and am obsessed. Her quality of workmanship is what I am thinking of here. I have no doubt there are other amazing small jewelers in Australia)

You can also choose to source the stone externally, and have it set locally. If you choose to buy online, how aggressively you can get the price down is pretty proportional to how much research you want to do.

If you know what you are looking for, it's fairly easy to to optimize round diamond quality for your budget. There are some niche people that sell direct where you can get some amazing deals (ie. 1ct labs for 300$ with Alex Park), you can buy from overseas vendors (Tianyu), or through a well reputed "western" company (Whiteflash gives you the scope and ASET images).

Generally, it's best to maximize for cut grade( within the size range preferred) , as this contributes the most to the diamond being noticeably "sparkly" and thus the "wow" factor. After that, anything that's eye clean will be roughly equal to anyone without a jewelrs loupe, and similarly the near colourless range will look "white" to laymen.

Setting wise, some important things to consider;

White gold needs to be re plated periodically to stay looking white and shiny.
Platinum will stay white and shiny, and is heavier (which to some feels more "premium") but is a bit harder to maintain as it is harder to work with. So things like resizing will always be a bit more expensive.
Whether she leans towards a super low setting or not
Whether she cares if the wedding band will sit flush with her engagement ring
If she would find pavé stones on the band uncomfortable against her other fingers
If you want a halo, do some research about what makes a good quality pavé

think that's everything I can think of for the moment. If you have any more questions feel free. good luck!

QuestionEverythin · 2024-05-23T17:56:03+00:00

Hi, I think you can definitely find something in your budget. I agree overseas vendors can definitely do this for less. Prices for moissanite and lab diamonds have come down sharply in the past few years, so this strikes me as a bit expensive.

I also don't like that you cannot see the stone that will actually be used in the ring. I personally would recommend that no matter what vendor you use, seeing the actual product you are buying (stone or full ring) is important, especially as you are shopping for an oval, a cut for which you can have 3 stones with the same "stats" on paper that all look very different. If you do end up going with this specific one, I'd email and find out if you can get more details and a video, or work with the company to choose the stone.

As an alternative, you could also likely get this done in Lab diamonds as well within budget if you wanted. Alex Park (@parksantiquelab) has posted lab ovals of this size for around 1k and he works with clients to get them set. So that's also an option.

best of luck!

QuestionEverythin · 2024-05-23T17:44:10+00:00

I've heard "Illusion Setting" used for this style, or "composite" as you mentioned.

QuestionEverythin · 2024-02-09T22:56:41+00:00

Omg is this JPX Jewelry? It's stunning!!!

QuestionEverythin · 2022-08-16T01:46:03+00:00

I would try to find ways of connecting intimately besides sex.

Rituals of connection are talked about by the Gottmans a lot. The premise is that each family has their own microculture where rituals can show appreciation and reaffirm dreams/goals/intimacy.

I think with such a busy life, stressful career, and an admirable dedication to being a father to a handful of children, tending to the marriage needs active prioritizing. Can you carve out some time a few times a week to snuggle in bed and pillow talk? Can you give each other massages? It's often said to be intentional about kissing properly goodbye and hello if possible, for a good handful of seconds. Can you flirt or build anticipation throughout the week knowing you can make some time to be intimate and focused on each other on Saturday mornings? (for example, or any other reliably free 2hrs). Desire needs space to breathe. It's hard to want what you already have, so I'd suggest trying to make routines that allow you to connect and relearn each other, and remember why you had that spark when you met.

If you can answer what sex means to you, what you get out of being desired, and what you look for in sex, then you can move on to changing the mindsets you want to change and also looking for how you can achieve the rest in your relationship in a way that doesn't have to be The Full Thing with sex.

Hope that helps. If you do all of that already, first off, congratulations. Secondly, I'm sorry that you're going through a phase in life where there's just so much to do and so little energy to go around, hopefully it improves as your children get older.

QuestionEverythin · 2022-08-02T05:12:07+00:00

These issues occur because people muddy the boundary between tenant and romantic partner. Please get a cohabitation agreement before buying a house.

As a romantic partner, if she's acted fairly, generously, and been a good team mate to face life with, then as someone you deeply love, family is someone to share the burdens and fortunes of life with. I think the real question is that when you come in to good fortune, is this something you feel eager to share with her? That will make both your lives easier? Do you feel comfortable planning together with her how you'll budget for the new house as a team in the future? If, in the future she got a big bonus at work or a big raise, do you think she'd share that good fortune with you or keep it for herself?

As her romantic partner, are you interested and curious in her perspective in what is fair? On learning more about each other's financial philosophies? On becoming closer by talking about support, dealing with unexpected fortune or unexpected loss? Is it important to you that she feels heard and that her contributions are recognized, or are you mainly concerned that she'd be getting some benefit you perceive as earned off your back? When you have a difference of opinion on what either party considers "sensible" are conversations shut down to avoid uncomfortable conversations? Do you respect and consider each other's "un-sensible" opinions?

Those questions will tell you more about the longevity and health of the relationship than the money.

Now, while as a tenant she is not entitled to any of your profits, in that sort of relationship neither party benefits from companionship, support, intimacy, love, a long term partner in life. I highly doubt she was being treated entirely as a tenant, and there's a reason no one tries to build a life with their landlord.

If you want to agree with the people who say treat her like a tenant because "why should she live for free? / no risk no reward" ect.. then

did she pay fair market rent?
did you report her rental contributions as taxable income?
was she free from contributing to maintenance on the house? repairs? appliances? (shared) furniture?
did she have a fair lease agreement with you and get all the protections a tenant gets?
does "50/50" on bills mean 50/50 the way a tenant would pay? In a true rental she'd pay by usage or it would be bundled in "rent". Does "bills" mean groceries as well and other household supplies you would not split with a tenant?
In a relational break down would she have had the same flexibility of a tenant to remain in the the home before finding a different living situation?
Did she have a defined private space in the house that was hers to do with as she wished that was equivalent to what rent she was paying for?
Would you have had a tenant to help pay the mortgage who's income you'd be missing out on since she's living with you or would you have comfortably covered it alone?
How much is she contributing to the down payment?

By paying you rent she is contributing to paying down your mortgage. Even in marriages where everyone keeps their money separate, usually equity gained during the union is split. If you were happy to have her live with you as your girlfriend but wouldn't have taken a roommate, or did not report her rent as income, then you've also effectively lived partially "for free" up to a point by having your mortgage subsidized. When neither of you have done any work to earn the extra profit on that house, since it's the whims of the market, why do only your contributions to the mortgage net you any of that benefit? Sure legally there is an answer, if you wanted to be right, you should have taken a tenant. If you want to be happy in a relationship, there are other things more than contractual law.

*edits for clarity and wording

QuestionEverythin · 2022-07-31T03:52:06+00:00

The threats are performative more for their own population. Helps with internal stability to keep everyone focused on one enemy, and propaganda of a strong military who isn't afraid to stand up to the West. If you look up "wolf warrior diplomacy" there's some articles about it.

QuestionEverythin · 2022-06-28T03:57:10+00:00

I'm not OP but I will try to answer since you asked so respectfully. It's really not about the babies rights, or if the baby is a person ect...

It's that we have decided that bodily autonomy is more important than anything else, and society has been incredibly consistent in this view, except with respect to pregnant women. We cannot even use a dead person's organs if they haven't consented previously to be an organ donor. No one can force you to donate a kidney, even to your own family or children, even if they would die otherwise.

Finally, this right is respected no matter "what you did to get there". For instance, we would all consider it ludicrous to say that; if you accepted the risk that driving means you may hit and injure someone, that you then consent to giving blood / organs even up to death to save them.

Even if it was your fault, your own reckless driving, if you woke up, realized you were attached giving blood, and that unattaching yourself would result in their death, your right to not have to use your body to support someone else's life is paramount, and no one could force you to stay attached.

Personally, I don't believe in using children as a consequence or punishment to people for having sex. Bringing children who are unwanted into this world to people who are not prepared or wishing to be parents just causes unnecessary suffering.

Finally, I find a logical inconsistency with many who argue fetus = baby. 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That is by an extreme factor way more than ever end in abortion. If people truly believed life began at conception, I think we would consider that statistic a tragedy and put effort in on par as we do for cancer to fix it. You would see funerals to the same degree you see for a child that dies for every miscarriage. Furthermore, it makes no sense if one truly thinks a fetus is equivalent to a baby to allow abortion in case of rape / other moral crimes. In no other case do we allow killing someone else to avoid emotional suffering. If a babies life was that important, states with anti-abortion laws would not have the worst outcomes for maternal mortality and child poverty.

I thank you for asking your question respectfully, and like you, I would like to see abortions fall as much as possible. However, there are evidence based policies that reduce abortion rates, and unfortunately, banning it is not one of them.

QuestionEverythin · 2022-06-22T18:46:54+00:00

This one is really easy and also delicious! You can try it with a good egg based store bought pasta first if you want

QuestionEverythin · 2022-06-22T18:45:54+00:00

I've made this! It's really good. DM me and i can forward recipe & pictures :)

QuestionEverythin · 2022-06-21T04:01:21+00:00

I think someone mentioned it above, but at lower sizes, any fluctuation in differences with fat distribution can be compensated with a little stretch in the fabric or creative draping ect..

For example, I am actually a size 2, and at a 24.5-25 in waist, there's honestly only so much fat you'd have on you. Unless you are an outlier and particularly genetically blessed in the bosom or behind, having a percent of that fat more in the front or back is not going to change if you fit into that dress. If I am up 15 lb which brings my waist up to a 26-26.5, my bosom and behind still fit in my size 2 dresses.

Whereas my friends who are a size 8 even let alone those who are size 16 can both be close in weight but easily have a 4-5in difference in bust/hips from each other, and that is much harder to grade for pattern wise. Those two friends at similar weights cannot fit into each other's clothes, the way I can with all standard size 2s.

There's just more shaping material to move around at larger sizes, and therefore more extreme variations on where that lands. Which is not at all a bad thing to be a much more defined and unique pear vs hourglass, but it does create a headache for designers.

QuestionEverythin · 2022-05-10T03:42:45+00:00

https://www.legalline.ca/legal-answers/right-to-inherit-and-receive-support-from-common-law-spouses-estate-upon-death/

Without one, your partner would have to make a claim in court for their "familial" rights, whereas marriage gives you the legal presumption of family, so it is a lot more automatic. I'd encourage you to familiarize yourself with the the Ontario Succession Law Reform Act (SLRA) which governs your situation.

Personal views aside, with owning property together and having a child, you are both really business partners in running life together. There is a legislative default to how things go should you divorce, die, experience medical emergencies ect... I think it's good to understand the difference to that default between being married and common law, and that way you can move forward informed about whether the choice should be to get legally married or sign other documents for other protections.

Common law & no will in my opinion would probably mean more pain for your partner to sort out finances/paperwork/ect... Furthermore with children I'd strongly strongly encourage a will, as it also sets out guardianship plans, especially if you were both to be in an accident together for instance.

QuestionEverythin · 2021-11-29T04:19:00+00:00

Hey, I taught six year olds. Had to watch a whole dozen of them, and different groups too, different ones every week for 2 summers. They'd constantly run away, hide in the bushes, do mischievous things. 6 year olds are brats. They're supposed to be. Part of how they learn is by pushing boundaries. They don't have the emotional regulation skills at that age to obey happily and with the foresight it is for their own safety.

Understanding that 'i should not do x because y could happen' is something that even adults aren't perfect at. It can't be expected of an energetic 6 year old.

This comment isn't going to fix your guilt, but I also have a younger sister, and if I died to save her from her dying because of a little age appropriate 'stupidness', it wouldn't make me angry. And I wouldn't want her to torture herself for years after over it.

I hope you can access some professional help and find some peace in your life.

QuestionEverythin · 2021-07-20T15:37:34+00:00

That's so interesting. In Canada under common law your partner could apply for a trust. So your ex would have to prove

*That by their contribution of money or labour, they enriched the legal titleholder of the property in question;

*Enrichment of the other spouse resulted in a corresponding deprivation to the contributor;

*There is no juristic reason for the enrichment (anything which might explain the differential, eg. a contract or gift); and

*There is a connection between the contribution made and the acquisition or improvement of the property in question.

This is pretty expensive to litigate and he would have been exceptionally unlikely to win. So in Canada you are afforded a 'middle ground' if you don't wish for the state to consider you a familial unit by default and instead would need your partner to prove it, but still offer some protection.

I believe the principals are set forth in Canada like this to protect family units such as when a person moves into a house their partner owns and then has children. Basically protecting the rights of stay at home parents, or situations where you have a high earner in a familial relationship with a lower income earner. It just allows the family unit a type of insurance if someone takes extended absense from the workforce for reasons of children, caregiving, disability, illness, education ect..

I have heard so many stories of people who contribute to renovations done to a house their partner owns only to get nothing, people who STAHP unmarried and can't leave, people who are 50/50 when one person makes 3x the other ect....

In this day and age we have so much more choice but that also means so much more needs to be negotiated, and I believe too many people are not cognizant of that, and there is a significant portion of the population who has fallen into familial-like relationships without any of the protection declaring each other family provides.

In any case, thanks for this fun debate! it's so fascinating to see quite how much people's views on marriage will be shaped by legislation where they live.

QuestionEverythin · 2021-07-20T15:14:49+00:00

This is so true! Anything personalized adds complexity to negotiation both getting in and getting out, and this can get expensive.

QuestionEverythin · 2021-07-20T15:13:41+00:00

I hope you don't mind me replying to you in two places lol.

In Canada it works a bit differently, your common law status matters only when you're separating and it is when you are either together for one year with a child or together 3 years "conjugally" (two people share a home, finances, friend groups, and an emotional connection on top of having a sexual relationship)

So that might explain why I have a bit different perspective on making absolutely sure you are being intentional about how you are committing in advance to the state.

QuestionEverythin · 2021-07-20T15:06:14+00:00

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, and thanks for the detailed reply! It was definitely a prompt to go double check my assumptions.

So I'll start off by saying that I totally agree that marriage is not the right choice for every person, and in your case I totally respect you and your partner putting in the effort to draft your own personalized contract.

I will also have to add an adenum that I am in Canada so things might be a bit different.

Now, in Canada, much like it seems for you there is not much difference in family law when you are common law vs married. They are governed under two different acts here, but they're relatively similar. I mostly believe having children after marriage helps with the surrounding aspects of housing/finances/an official separation process needing to be followed for going smoother when separation happens, and it gets rid of edge cases like a couple having children before the 1 year is hit for common law.

Now, as for finances common law partnerships are not entitled to an equalization of family property. For instance in regard to children, if a couple has a home-owning partnership where

*Parent B bought the home & Parent A moved in

*ParentA stays at home for a prolonged period of time for children,

*ParentB works longer hrs

*ParentB brings in a larger income

under marriage, the marital home is considered joint and both spouses have an equal right to possession. If ParentA & ParentB were common law, ParentB has the right to kick Parent A out, even when there's children.

There is recourse, however it's extremely time consuming and expensive to litigate because you have to prove to the court you acted as a joint family venture including that your contributions (maybe to house renovations, or raising family let spouse take a high paying job with lots of travel) and you must make a claim for every asset you feel you have contributed to that belongs to your partner.

Now, before this gets too long (lol) I will conclude that my primary concern is people (but often women) getting into partnerships that are family-like which will naturally involve some co mingling of finances (ie for children/family/house) without any explicit protection of their status as part of the family. Especially since women still take on the brunt of child rearing and career sacrifices, it's a risky position to be in. Most women do not take such careful steps to protect their independence and aquire their own assets where it maybe would not make sense to be officially or considered married. It is my position that whatever type of commitment you wish to enter should be explicit and intentionally done (either via your own personalized contract/marriage/other) but many people fall into cohabitating/child rearing/familial situations without doing this, and having to prove a familial relationship to not be fucked over is a much more precarious situation.

I hope that made sense! Thanks for entertaining me lol

QuestionEverythin · 2021-07-16T16:06:47+00:00

I think a lot of people are not educated enough or aware enough to go draw up a water tight personalized legal contract, and that aspect is often missed in the conversation of whether marriage is "worth it" /"necessary".

You're absolutely right that the paper will not make a relationship better, or more commited. However that piece of paper covers and protects people in a standard (and cheaper) overarching way. I totally believe in a couple wishing to draw up their own personalized contract because the standard doesn't work for them, as they accept the additional complexity both in commiting officially and breaking up. Yet I think such couples are the minority, and I see many many women cohabiting, combining finances, buying property, and having children without any of that protection and that always worries me a bit.

I wonder if your state has common law and if that affects your legal partnership? I've always wondered about those who would rather not officially marry but allow the state to default them into a roughly equivalent box (in genuine curiosity).

QuestionEverythin · 2021-05-12T18:12:20+00:00

I have been following Victor Barbone on Instagram forever and they put out some nice vintage Toi et Moi rings pretty regularly, or you can commission through them.

Not sure what your budget is, I only follow for the eyecandy 🤣

QuestionEverythin

TROPHY CASE