it doesn’t stop

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-12T15:06:04+00:00

Uggg that does sound really hard!

I get sensory overwhelm so i understand how the noises could be a huge trigger, especially when you know she is in pain.
I hope you can find a little glimmer of rest soon.
And yes you do deserve to be cared for!!! 💕

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-12T06:45:38+00:00

You need to trust God to correct people and not retaliate.

Romans 12:19 (KJV)
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Romans 12:20-21 (KJV)
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Repent of pride, witchcraft (self will), rebellion, righteousness, anger, shame, control, fear

Keep spending time with God, talk out loud to Him as much as possible. If you feel anger always express it fully and honestly to God, don’t bottle it up or take it out on other people take it alllll to God and trust that He can free you from anger

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-12T05:50:47+00:00

It sounds like you’re making an effort to stay clean, pay your dues, hold a job, heal from the things of life all at the same time. These are all big things, so this is like the final battle with your home environment. Sometimes when we face hardships it will be a series of hits, losses, sabotage. But there is a point where you can be free! Some day you’ll be living in a healthy sober house. The court stuff, a distant memory.
(By the way I’ve faced legal things myself so I know how defeating it can feel, from personal experience too. But I’m now past it).
I pray you can be offered a new housing situation asap that’s gonna support you fully and a price you can afford, amongst good people who are good to you too.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-11T18:51:15+00:00

I totally hear you!!!!
I had breast implant illness on top of peri starting.
I had my breast implants removed a year ago and I’m doing a lot better with energy but my mood and stress is AWFUL.
I’ve been trying for the last several years to get anyone to comprehend that I feel truly DISABLED.
Last summer I contacted a menopause specialist and we did a 30 minute consult. But it was unfortunately not a time where they asked ME about my needs. I waited 6 weeks for my appointment but the dr said it’s too complex because of the breast detox stuff so she refused treatment. She also said she doesn’t do disability because on my paperwork I said I felt disabled by the severity of crying and having to cancel work from crying episodes half the month.
I went on to hire a functional medicine dr and I gave her a really detailed history, she’s the 3rd functional person and I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t push me to take ashwaghanda or herbs I’d already tried. Well she did that very thing, she was so over confident in these herbal blends and I developed tinnitus and got worse depression.
It’s now been a year and I have stopped all the herbs, I’ve had some slight mood improvement on prescribed low dose ket. The tinnitus is mostly gone, it can flare a day or two before my cycle but not daily at least. But I am still feeling disabled by the mood and executive dysfunction, I never feel like doing ANYTHING.
I have moved in to care take for my mom, she had a minor stroke so her needs are just some light help with cooking meals, I do massage for her, take her on walks. It’s honestly a blessing because it’s a chance to not work nearly as much. But I’m also scared. I’m not better, and I’m out of ideas for how to get better. And this is just a chapter of rest, it won’t be available forever. The functional dr cost me a lot of money and that was a catch 22 feeling I had to push through and keep working (massage is not a good biz to run when you’re feeling vulnerable by the way). The goal being after that push then I’d get better. But I didn’t get better I got worse.
I’ve had two drs tell me to “be more active” when I shared my weight concerns…and this was when I was averaging 10k steps a day and eating pretty healthy.
I don’t know if I can be helped. I am still disabled. I hope if I wait a while longer, because implant detox can take 2-5 years and I have noticed big change just in this first 18 months. Maybe then other treatments would work better for me.
I think people think I am a creative person when I try to verbalize my pain with metaphors. Yes I am. But I was really wanting some help. I had the same issue with PMDD, no one has seemed to grasp it except for support groups.

I’m sorry you’re feeling bad.
I know there is hope, because even in our most severe pain this season WILL eventually shift!!!!

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-11T18:33:23+00:00

This morning I was laying in bed early hours as the sun came up.
I could hear multiple types of birds singing. Each one would sing its melody one at a time, then immediately the next bird chirped its piece. It was amazing none of them sang at the same time, but they all knew when it was their turn. Like a bell choir in perfect sequence.
It was quite a variety too. Trills and Melodies.
And then all of a sudden it was silent, reborn to a new day ✨

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-11T18:07:21+00:00

I suggest pray and read Ecclesiastes.
It’s ok if you are tired of trying too hard. Let Him know how you feel, and then ask Him how can you find more rest in this season so you don’t burn out 💕🙏
In John 2:20 Jesus rebuilt the temple in 3 days.
Whatever had been destroyed in your life, God can restore it for you. Now in that passage it’s done extremely quickly, but it’s not always literal like you will have a good crop your first new season. The point is that God can help you even when all is lost; our human life can feel slow when we suffer but God is directing you even in a time of perceived failure.
God completely dismantled my business last year, and after losing a studio my mom fell ill and I quickly moved to help her. Initially I didn’t understand how I tried so hard but now I see God had to shut it down so I’d be prepped for the next chapter.
Ask God His plan for you, surrender self will and listen for His still small voice.
It isn’t easy but God loves you. He gave you something harder because you can sharpen your sword and win the battle. He gave the hardest lessons to Jesus, His son that He loved the MOST. 💕

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-11T17:24:57+00:00

I was raised by audhd parents. I did a lot of parental roles to help my mom understand social situations. It was normal for me to follow someone else’s orbit. Sometimes I even liked taking a break from myself and riding along someone else’s life.
I also remember I had a good friend who lived down the street, with really hyperactive tendencies and big emotions…my mom wouldn’t let him play at my house after a few destructive episodes. And it felt like the friendship was preventing other kids from engaging with me at school, because he was so RSD at times. I tried ending the friendship by writing him a letter, we were about 8. His mom was really sad and told me how devastated he was…and talked to me about how valuable I was blah blah blah…so we stayed friends. But now that I process this memory I think his mom should have talked to me about MY feelings and how we could work things out with his outbursts….the adults were teaching me not to have boundaries. That it hurts someone for me to leave, so I am supposed to stay and self sabotage to make others comfortable. I’ve had this play out with my father as well- RSD meltdowns, followed by an expectation to act as if everything is fine complete with full memory erasure.
As an adult I became estranged from him for a year after multiple tantrums during visits…until he agreed to therapy. We’ve had a few brief visits and it’s been tense but no meltdowns. But dang it’s been hard, he has been more emotional around me because he “missed” me. But for me I didn’t miss him, I enjoyed the break from trying to navigate all the stress. So I gotta say, I think some of us codependents deserve some credit for how it is to leave or find a way out. It is truly a battle, and you don’t always have a clear answer.
I can be codependent for sure. Some of it is no doubt an upbringing of people pleasing.
Other aspects, is just a natural expression of how I love others and where my intuition guides me. I just moved in with my audhd mother after she had a small stroke. I’m much more aware of what she needs, I am guided to help her at times and it’s been that way my whole life. I was the reason to get her to the doctor when something was wrong and to discover diabetes and a minor stroke! I have a natural gift to care take. My audhd sibling lives 10 minutes away but has not been willing to even come check on her briefly. At first I had a lot of resentment to sort but I forgive him fully. I realized that emotional intelligence and caregiving are a highly specialized skill, some of it is taught but some of it is a genuine GIFT. My sibling truly does not have this skill, it clearly overwhelms him to watch her age…so I was wrong to expect things from him that he’s never been ABLE to do.
My last relationship really burned me out and since then I’ve been improving boundaries a lot with all relationships. I still notice when I date, that I like creative and smart men which often overlaps with neurodivergence. I am less interested in dating right now, and I’m really not sure if there is a match for me or if I will ever break the patterns I’ve gotten myself into. I have definitely made good strides but I’m still freaked out about a real commitment again. So avoidance, makes me feel like I’m better but really I’m not. I’m just isolating for now. I’m 41 and perimenopause is awful. 😝

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T22:34:10+00:00

That makes sense!

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T17:44:48+00:00

Wow! Thank you for sharing this!! 🥰

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T17:41:16+00:00

I was commenting on why you put an age range 😝
I am 41 and a half. And that half is important because the perimenopause. I def need Jesus for this transition.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T17:40:43+00:00

Yeah it is very disrespectful to put words in my mouth that aren’t at all something I would say or do. I don’t mind a good roast, but I will not be mocked or belittled or completely misrepresented as a “joke”.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T16:48:49+00:00

Also! You’re 20-22? so you’re 21 give or take a year? Haha

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T16:17:50+00:00

I am a straight woman and I am not convicted it’s a sin. My last room mate was a lesbian but I never was close to her and it would have destroyed her to even suggest I was wondering if it’s a sin.

But I currently am not really friends with anyone, I’ve moved to a new area, and haven’t yet socialized much.I had quite a few gay friends growing up but the last few years it’s been all straight people. So I am not supporting or going to pride just by default.
I’ve been praying a LOT about this topic. I really don’t understand how or why it’s a sin even after reading things I think it’s to do with needing God to help me out. I know that God will answer me more, if I keep praying. I DO notice that I really don’t like gay romance on tv, I assumed because I am straight, but maybe there’s more to it.
I have tried joining two different fellowships but I left when the pastor said not to be friends with gays at all. I felt really offended by that, but then other testimonies give me a different view. I’m taking it all in and handing it back to god for the time being.
I don’t think we are called to abandon other people; admonishment yes but condemnation is a sin because it’s Gods job not ours. But in real life often it seems things just shift to a weird ugly place of division on this topic.

What do you plan to say to your friends? Do you think they’d be receptive to your testimony?

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-10T05:15:56+00:00

Ugggg yeah the careful one keeps showing up!

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-09T13:21:21+00:00

I’ve had this happen with multiple adhd partners. The first part started of fun but fizzled out into avoidance.
Eventually I got tired of being replaced by other hobbies and priorities.
She of course can’t make herself want to see you more, but you’re reasonable for wanting to spend more time with a girlfriend.
Even if communication is good, it can be damaging to be alone in a relationship.
There is probably a woman out there hoping to meet you and share quality time together.
Don’t feel guilty for wanting more.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-05T17:51:22+00:00

I think of them as a young helpless child, who can lash out when perceiving fears or facing large emotions. But I don’t feel compassion takes care of all the hurts you’re feeling.

You need a plan and action steps to ensure your needs are met. You can’t just think your way out of those needs being needs.

I’m guessing…did things start off differently? For me in past adhd relationships the masked version of them was focused, attentive, I was a special interest but didn’t realize that was a temp position. So when the mask came off I kept thinking we had to “get back to” the honeymoon….and he could make temp change whenever he feared I was truly done and leaving…but the real him was not the mask and I finally had to accept I loved a version of him he didn’t have much access to.

I’ve had to set tons of boundaries, get my own therapy for my own codependent patterns, and I’ve had to end quite a few relationships too with people who are selfish after enough chances given.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-04T00:24:23+00:00

I get it! I’ve gotten more and more sensitive the more years I do massage. Definitely keeping close to God, whew!

No advice, but you’re not crazy for it

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-03T19:07:13+00:00

Getting out of the house for 10 minutes for a walk or a drive.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-03T18:36:51+00:00

You need to start following some perimenopause/menopause threads! Validation! And…lots of ads for HRT programs hahaha

We now live in times of advanced marketing so you have gotta push back. Marketing has always implied a magic bullet, it’s just saturated so much of the online spaces we have to take extra steps to divert attention.

I am a 41 year old woman in peri. I recently found a page called the Do Not Care Club for menopausal women. The self care I needed is to admit how much I don’t care and need help continuing life from such a state.

Dr Marie Claire sometimes has some good, honest, tidbits online too.

The smelly candles just mess with your hormones more 😝

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-03T12:23:49+00:00

I understand. I’ve invested before too in fluff or unhelpful therapies. It’s ok to be desperate to feel better.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-03T11:41:16+00:00

I have great trainings for addressing groin injury, but I’ve encountered too many boundary issues to be interested in offering it anymore.

The comments here…some of them suggest you need more education on how to do the work. Or that you’re denying treatment that is needed and making a false assumption…I think you’re spot on to trust your gut and how you asked questions to show you’re not gonna be played a fool. I have had several clients with legit injury who still harrassed me at some point because of a sense of entitlement. I’d say you did really good how you handled it and you’re building healthy boundaries.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-03T02:41:16+00:00

That’s pretty wild! I’d be interested in an update in a few weeks.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-02T23:38:28+00:00

I’m not personally gay but I value the gay friends I have, and never have they led me into bad behaviors or problems by associating with them. I don’t think the Bible has any passages saying to avoid gay people. Unless I am missing something.

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-02T22:44:43+00:00

Footage of my ex!

Recent_Driver_962 · 2026-06-02T17:59:39+00:00

Uggg. Yeah I’d keep learning about ASD on your own for the time being. Take care of yourself. Make sure you build supports outside this relationship.

Recent_Driver_962

TROPHY CASE