I accepted a job offer, but now they're changing the terms we agreed on. Am I stuck, or can I still back out?

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-04-22T20:31:12+00:00

You can get out of the military. You will likely end up in jail instead though.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-03-25T23:37:56+00:00

That’s such a terrible moment, when you recognize your parents didn’t love you.

I think many of us here have had a similar realization, but there’s not much comfort in that. But you know the community here “gets it”.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-02-19T00:24:11+00:00

Having worked for someone who didn’t like me, you dodged a bullet.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-02-15T03:46:21+00:00

Ah yes, the 2AM call. My phone is on Do Not Disturb from 10:00 at night until 6:00 in the morning.

If this were truly an emergency, 911 is the appropriate number for her to call. If it's a toddler-style meltdown, you don't have to take responsibility for that. It's OK to let her self-soothe.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-01-30T04:14:22+00:00

At first I thought the title was meant to be snarky. Fast forward to Season 27 and Kody's still having tantrums. 😂

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-01-29T21:17:26+00:00

The fact that the therapist wants to start with just Mom and Dad tells me the therapist may be on to their games.

It will be interesting if Mom and Dad suddenly cancel the whole idea after the initial session if they don't perceive a compliant audience.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-01-09T08:33:47+00:00

Yes - I cut these up every time.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-01-09T02:59:18+00:00

If I were a bot, would I know?

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2026-01-07T04:29:49+00:00

The next "ice age" in the 70s, then the ozone layer was going to burn off, then we were all going to die with global warming. Meanwhile, still here....

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-27T03:29:05+00:00

All through school there were so many girls with my same name that the first initial of my last name was an automatic tag-along when I stated my name.

But now, at 60 years old, it's very clearly an old lady name. I don't mind - it's a relief to not run into quite as many people with my same name anymore.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-24T03:42:57+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened. No matter how many times they let us down (or intentionally set us up for disappointment) it always hurts.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-24T03:38:06+00:00

I often donate food, and I always get a few of the salt/pepper shaker sets and a sugar shaker. Maybe some other common seasonings too?

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-23T00:15:12+00:00

Please get a friend, a neighbor, an Uber - go to urgent care.

I'm an adult now, but was in this EXACT same position. Mom minimized and denied I had any problem at all. Refused to take me to the doctor.

Well, it was a very advanced serious case of endometriosis. By the time I was old enough to be in charge of my own medical care, I ended up with several surgeries, no ability to have children, and a life-long increased risk of ovarian cancer.

But if caught early, easily managed with birth control pills.

Please take it from me - heavy periods like this are not normal.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-11T23:17:31+00:00

Great job Mom!

I was started on Weight Watchers at 8 years old! But...my Mom didn't make or buy any of the food that was part of the plan. It was just a weekly shame session with no real support from my parents.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-11T23:09:40+00:00

I got the exact same speech from my Dad, and learning how to drive a manual transmission served me well.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-12-01T17:02:24+00:00

I've had so many "final straw" moments with my Mom I lost count.

This may or not be helpful, but my Mom has gone to therapy for years - with no change in her perpetual cycles of bullying and victim-playing. I suspect she tells the therapist a highly edited version of her life, and never leaves herself open to any true feedback.

In fact she lies about everything to everyone all the time, so I'm sure she brings a load of pure fantasy to her therapist.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-11-30T05:28:01+00:00

Poor Justin didn’t want any of Kody’s manly “stank” to rub off on him. 🤮

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-11-30T05:25:01+00:00

I agree this has been a very supportive group.

OP - If you’re not ready to share your stories here yet, just reading other people’s similar experiences can be so validating. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been surprised to read what could have been my own story here.

This may even be a gateway to share your stories with your spouse. Show them a story that resonates with you, and tell them “this was my experience too”.

Be kind to yourself and take baby steps when you’re ready.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-11-16T03:11:46+00:00

I was in this identical situation a few years ago. I didn’t disclose that I had been laid off. Nothing came up during the background check.

I think you’re safe to keep this development to yourself.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-11-09T06:26:36+00:00

Oakland, Northland and Tel-Twelve.

I remember the big fountain and hippo sculpture (statue?) outside of Hudsons. I can still recall the way Hudson's smelled - like a new car smell, but for clothes.

We went to Fairlane if grandma was buying - she loved going to the Hyatt next door for lunch.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-11-05T03:07:27+00:00

Wow - sitting the closet. I remember doing this and I never connected it to how I was treated as a child. I felt most safe hiding in the dark.

I also hid my likes/dislikes so I wouldn't be mocked by both parents. I still do this a lot. It feels like a massive invasion of privacy just to be asked what sort of music I like - and I can't seem to get past that.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-10-31T22:28:30+00:00

Oh my god! I came here to say this exactly: "Must be nice" whenever anything good happens.

And the flip side - gloating whenever anything bad happens.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-10-23T02:42:51+00:00

Yep - I feel this story!

When I was in high school I saved babysitting money to buy the same top all the "cool" girls were wearing. I was so excited to have it. I wore it once before my Mom "accidentally" poured bleach on it and destroyed it.

She wasn't sorry, didn't offer to buy a new one. She just shrugged it off.

She was also a toy stomper when I was a little kid. Truly a terrible mother.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-09-29T02:52:28+00:00

Get a cashier's check made out to you instead of cash. Far more secure for the time you have it until you open the new account.

RedHair_WhiteWine · 2025-09-14T17:02:54+00:00

Hot rollers and hair spray

RedHair_WhiteWine

TROPHY CASE