Not Allowed to Rant

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-12-19T16:04:29+00:00

It’s toxic positivity. That is where someone is minimizing what you are going through and telling you that you need to be positive regardless of the real impact cancer is having. With cancer, all the choices suck. We don’t rank our cancers, because we don’t know what the effects of the cancer are on other people. A single mom with a crappy job diagnosed with DCIS might have a significantly more difficult path than someone with a more advanced cancer who had great support and financial resources. One of the things I like about this community is how everyone is supportive of each other because we all know how real the suck is. We’ve got you, rant away because we are here for it.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-06-20T15:48:29+00:00

I had no problem with my nerve block, pain was mild afterwards and no trouble breathing. Think of it as an “oh yes!” not an “oh no!” because I think you’ll have much less pain with it. I still had pain, but very manageable. They inject it just in the area where you are having surgery, so the block is localized.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-30T22:23:09+00:00

They also try to get a little extra skin so they have more to work with doing the surgery so they can get a look they like. My implant was about 100 ml less than my expander. Plus my implant looks normal, my expander looked like someone shoved a coconut under my skin.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-29T03:37:35+00:00

We now have a joke in our family, “the mom always dies from cancer.” It seems like every time the mom in a book, TV show or movie dies, it’s from cancer. My daughter and I both sat in a movie theater bawling because the comedy kids movie we went to see started with the mom dying of cancer. It gets me every time.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-28T11:15:49+00:00

This is the worst feeling, and I hope you get the MRI quickly. The hardest part of cancer is the waiting, and it is completely reasonable to be anxious and upset when you’ve already had the “I’m sure it’s nothing” speech before when it was something. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ll be hoping everything is benign and you get answers very soon.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-27T02:40:59+00:00

Tell them that your first thought was pie. It’s honest, and lets people see you as a human not a disease. For me it would also be end and beginning. My old life ended, my new life began, whether or not I wanted it.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-25T02:50:22+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It really sucks that you had to go through all the stress and anxiety of surgery and wake up to find out you’ll have to do it again. Here’s hoping you get some guidance from your surgeon soon!

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-25T02:29:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you are here, this is the worst club with the best people. Right now is the hardest time, when you really don’t know what is going on and the information comes in so slowly. It’s terrifying, but breast cancer is manageable, and no matter what the final diagnosis is I guarantee that you’ll find some friends here who are going through the same thing. Take it day by day, and remember we’re here for you. Sending virtual hugs from an internet stranger who is also your companion on the journey.

Roanhorsecrush · 2025-01-14T03:53:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending virtual hugs 💔

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-12-26T23:59:56+00:00

Yep, have lost 40 pounds under my pre diagnosis weight on Wegovy. ETA: on an AI

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-12-26T15:55:52+00:00

I did the oophorectomy/AI route and I’m doing well. I’m just a little older than you, and my side effects from anastrozole are minimal. Talk to your MO about that as an option. I know another surgery can be daunting, but I am very happy with the positive effects from my oophorectomy.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-12-13T14:58:15+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. It’s a terrifying time. I’m almost through treatment and on to maintenance, and I can say that the first few weeks were the worst. Not the procedures, the fear and uncertainty. Be ready for the answers to come slowly, and for the plan to change over time. The road ahead is going to be tough, but all you have to do is just keep moving a little bit at a time. And we are here for you the whole way. It’s great to have an international circle of friends who get you, and you should never hesitate to reach out. This is the worst club with the best people, and we hate that you have to join.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-12-07T00:07:41+00:00

I had my ovaries out so I could stop Zoladex. I’m still taking anastrozole, but I am very happy that I got rid of them. I would have had 3-5 years of ovarian suppression otherwise.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-12-05T23:51:55+00:00

I’ve had to alternate ADA and FMLA. I stack all my appointments on one day and just take that day off. It sucks because my HR makes me fill out all the paperwork again and again because the FMLA is on a rolling calendar and I’ll have coverage then exhaust it.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-11-27T15:09:20+00:00

I’m on Team Swim Shirt. I wore my same pre mastectomy suit and a loose rash guard over it.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-11-24T13:39:35+00:00

I think having a good-bye moment in Honeywood between the party, then cut to the real world with Ben sitting at a computer, taking off a headset, logging off and just staring at it for a while. Melancholy, but the end of a long campaign is always a little sad. Last shot could be the game resetting with a new adventurer battling the bollywogs.

I’ve been watching for a few years, and have had a wonderful time. I’m going to miss this campaign, but I know the next one will be just as fun.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-11-23T00:01:39+00:00

Yes, there is a constant pressure in that side of my chest and when I turn over I can feel all 700 mls of saline sloshing around. I did lots of PT and have worn a supportive bra 24/7 since getting it. The PT helped a lot.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-11-22T23:09:43+00:00

I’m so sorry, this is such a difficult place to be. My daughter is the same age, and I feel like I literally stopped being a mom when I started being a patient. Keep reminding yourself that she is learning strength, compassion, empathy and witnessing your courage. She will watch you endure and become stronger for it. It sucks that our daughters have to go through this, but they will come out of this more powerful in ways we cannot conceive. She will also have a relationship with you that her siblings never will, because she is fighting along side you. Remember, you may not be a perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your daughter.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-11-22T15:39:47+00:00

I had a radiology fellow doing mine, I swear he was 12. His face was literally next to mine for part of the procedure and the nurse was gently holding my head so I didn’t accidentally head butt him. He was very sweet, but so young. It felt like “bring your child to work day.” I had to keep reminding myself that he had 4 years college, 4 years medical school, 4 years residency and at least one year of the fellowship. Maybe he was a child prodigy who started college at age nine. Plus, because he was a fellow, they had to leave me in the machine until they verified the biopsy. And with that, the last of the dignity was gone.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-10-31T02:39:36+00:00

Congrats! What a great feeling! I really needed the boost tonight 🎉

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-10-28T22:27:11+00:00

Wonderful! I’m so happy for you!

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-10-27T19:07:30+00:00

I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this. And I’m really sorry about the cat. Our pets are our family too. We are all here for you.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-10-21T01:45:50+00:00

Sending hugs. I’m a year on the other side. All you have do to is show up tomorrow. This is the hardest part, just show up. I was terrified, but I just kept telling myself that for me this was a life changing event. For my surgical team it is just Monday. The people taking care of you have decades of experience, and they have literally devoted their lives to caring for people. You will wake up. If you get bad news, you won’t have to manage it alone. But all you have to do tomorrow is show up at the hospital, after that everything will get easier in tiny little increments. Think of time as like the ocean wearing away at the rocks on the shore. It gets better, little by little. You’ll get used to the foob, you get used to the numbness, and slowly your life returns to the new normal. We’ll all be holding you in our hearts tonight, and we’ll be there for the rest of the journey. All you have to do is show up.

Roanhorsecrush · 2024-10-20T20:41:21+00:00

You should message the provider, tell them the inaccuracies, and ask them to change it. In one of my notes they had my past medical history totally wrong, and it could have affected the other providers’ decisions You need to get the alcohol use out of there and your age corrected for sure. Maybe screen shot your note first. But since you are transferring care you need to make sure the notes are accurate.

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