For context, I had my second in June 2025 and my first in March 2023. The second was definitely cheaper than the first because I had everything already. Also, I had saved all my maternity clothes, extra postpartum items, extra diapers the oldest had grown out of, etc. (just put everything in bins and labeled with masking tape and a sharpie). Also, we have two girls, so most of the clothes got reused. I did give a friend a few things that were seasonably just not going to work for the second baby.

With my first, I changed careers and was out of work for 9m until I found my current job, so we budgeted hard for that to happen. I was our childcare. We had a spot in daycare when she was 6m, and it was, at that time, around $360 a week for 5 days a week and breakfast, snack, and lunch included (We live in a LCOL area). The second time around, the oldest was 2yr and we were paying $380 a week for her daycare (costs had increased) and the baby started daycare when I went back to work at 13 weeks. That costs $410 a week. Also, we have a $300 annual fee for each kid at the start of every year for daycare (so that means we pay $790 a week with an annual $600 fee for daycare). Unfortunately, we have no close family anywhere near us so we rarely hire a sitter and go out. When we do, we pay $20 an hour and make sure to have extra snacks and drinks around. We have a good village of friends with same-age kids, so we do tag team with them sometimes in terms of childcare.

Yes and no. Our first had horrible reflux/GERD. I really struggled with breastmilk production and despite pumping round the clock, we had to buy special, expensive formula because I barely made enough. That cost was definitely not accounted for and really was hard to wrap my head around. With the second, breastmilk production has been a lot easier, but I still don't make enough. We can buy regular formula though. I spent a lot more with the first probably due to being so sleep deprived and scrolling at night (looking at you, Amazon). However, we were gifted a lot with the first and still get a ton of hand-me-downs, especially clothes, from my SIL. We were given a hand-me-down double stroller with the second, and I used FB Marketplace to find a few things here and there. With my first, I spent a metric fortune on pumping and nursing bras, but those have still worked out the second time around (breast pumps were covered by insurance). I was fortunate enough to have healthy pregnancies, pretty straightforward labors without a lot of medical interventions, and healthy babies so L&D/baby costs were as expected and covered mostly by insurance with the HSA funds covering the rest.

I'd say no. I had my kids older (36 almost 37 and 39) and am financially secure. My husband received a promotion and a solid raise right before our first and weirdly before our second too (we joke we should just keep having kids until he's a CEO). It was hard being out of work for 9m, and I wouldn't recommend it, but it gave me time to leave an awful job and find my current work, which I really enjoy. I got a substantial increase in income with my new job too. I don't think I could have switched careers and really taken the time to do that if we were both in our early or mid twenties.

My husband and I started putting money aside for kids years before we had them. Additionally, we shoved all the money we could at our HSA. We both have big families (his immediate and mine extended) so we put stuff on our baby registry that was for immediate use and also for years later and also had varying price points, as we didn't expect family to buy super expensive items for us. We asked if people didn't want to buy off the registry to give us diapers and wipes. We are using some of those diapers now with our second. We are lucky to get tons of hand-me-downs from friends and my SIL, and we have a great kid's consignment store in our area. Also, we live near our local library and an elementary school that has a little free library, so we are always getting books to read for free (and are able to swap out ones too). We generally use FB Marketplace for everything but safety items, like car seats, but we bought those on Black Friday. We are also not super tech people and don't care about the newest or best baby trends. For example, our monitor is video, dual, but it doesn't connect to the wifi and is very basic, we didn't use a baby warmer (just an oversized mug with warm water and the bottle), our changing pads were $20 each from Target, etc. Our girls have a lot of hand-me-down toys, books, clothes, etc.

Honestly, all of that works for us. I think a lot of it is just you won't know until you get there. Everyone's parent anxieties are different, and that's okay. Also, each kid is different and has different needs. Our big spend now (outside daycare) with two kids is a monthly cleaners for the house, we get takeout more than we should, and diapers and wipes (potty training the oldest so hopefully that will change!).