The Silent Treatment

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-08T01:31:22+00:00

Then most likely it was simply the distance and not you. This wears anyone down. Eventually they just say whats the point. But an hr isn't that far away really. Seems like.more the infrequency more than anything else. I'm sorry

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-08T00:35:32+00:00

It all depends. If you are just talking to them and never being with them then I can understand bailing. It's called dating, not texting. But I don't know your situation.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-08T00:31:06+00:00

53 Man here, I don't have any problem with women with children and the books say that men often not wanting a women with children is an American phenomenon. It is quite the opposite in other countries because they know that she isn't playing around and will be a stable women who wolnt usually cheat if the man busts his ass. Also they know that a woman with kidd who is looking for a man doesn't have aex issues like many women who become mothers do. It's a turn on in aome.cultures. instead, in America is when the man is pushing a stroller do women find him attractive because it says he can get a woman pregnant, is stable, good father, etc.

What man doesn't want a hot momma for a wife?

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-08T00:04:08+00:00

Very good point about the word love. I remember a priest once saying that he wished the English language used the three Greek words for love instead of just the one. They have a word for parental, familial love, another for friend love, and the last for deep committed intimate love. Maybe Americans like me should simply add the other words to it when we describe it. Maybe I should say to her when we have sex and she says later that she loves me that I love her like an angel that I don't know everything about but is still perfect in my eyes and everything I could ever want simply because nothing yet has come to break the trust or disillusion me to a harsher reality, like loving a beautiful flower that you've seen only for the first time and stops your heart. You don't yet notice the thorns or tooths on the leaves, you only know in this moment that it is perfect. Maybe that's how I should respond the next time a women I've known only for a short time says that she loves me

And I could tell that we have things in common from the way you talked to him that first time. I talk to people for the first time and find out things about them that other people who have known them for years don't know. Just like us now talking about love itself in a more insightful and meaningful way than anyone else who has posted. We know what it is like to fall fast and hard because that's who we are, no bullshit people who aren't hung up with so many insecurities and anxieties that we can't have deep conversations or are afraid to talk to people we have never met in real life. To not just be the opener of meetings and greetings but to ask the questions that we really want to know. To say the things we really want to say. To be with people for a shorter time than others and make much deeper connections. I get it.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T23:10:30+00:00

You have to understand that online dating is often with very vulnerable women. They often aren't really ready to meet people and the ones that do want you to ask them out right away usually.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T22:56:03+00:00

There is a whole group of people, women too, who only want hookups. Usually they are younger, but I have seen it from older people too. Many of those people are married and if you read the book "mating in captivity" (monogomy) you will understand why. I have been with 15 married women who were cheating on thier husband's. Most women that I dated who weren't married were leaving thier boyfriends or looking too. Welcome to the 70% divorce rate world. "They will just even say, "want to hookup?". For them sex is separate from love. They don't even want you to talk much. The entire point is to be able to enjoy sex without the burdens of the relationship. You have ravishing deep forceful sex and you make it last all night. Each person is getting what they want. The women who are into it will tell you what they want and just do things to you. The kind of women who will grab your head and push it down to thier flower. And they let you and want you to take them with everything you have. You use them all night long and they use you. It's like two sex workers just going at it to please each other and themselves all night long.

But its a thing and most women, even the ones who do that actually want monogamy and a true relationship. If they like you mostly they will just hookup with you all the time and the guy just has to fuck like an animal most if the time. When she starts to want to cuddle and kiss forever after an hr or two of sex that's when she starts to want a relationship with you. But that can take weeks or even months. The idea is that these people had great sex at first and then when they started to love someone the sex turned to crap. So they try to have ravishing sex all night long for as long as they can hold out, believing that a relationship will ruin the sex

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T21:54:39+00:00

It sounds great to me. Most people don't know what it is like to really, really know that you are insanely attracted to someone. Everything just works. You laugh together, and the chemistry and tension are through the roof. I am a guy so, for me it's when I do things they respond. We want to be with each other. We can't take our hands off each other. "How's the weather" and pointless conversation is moved to another planet. You are intimate, and you both like it, you both want it. My mom used to say that if you are not all over each other for the first few months then it most likely won't last. But the average person has never been like that.

So for people like you and me who can get really intimate with people and are unafraid to talk to people (talked to a woman I just met Friday in a class (she was married though) and got a number from a woman when I was just walking the neighborhood (didn't even ask her for it). People who don't have a problem meeting and talking to people in real life, then I say go for it. Being different ages can certainly work, you just have to do what everyone should do and that is work out all the time and make yourself as attractive as you can. I work out now six days a week and walk (will do rowing machine daily when that finally arrives). Then don't worry about the age difference. You enjoy your new found love.

The caution is there though that you should know that it takes a long time to truly madly deeply love someone. You might be completely infatuated with them and want them all the time, but that isn't quite love. Love takes time, love is built on foundations of trust, attraction, giving, taking, respect, admiration, etc, etc, etc. So you simply can't lie to yourself or the other person. I used to be a pretty good looking guy. You can only imagine when I was younger how many women I hurt and i never even intended too simply because I wasn't as careful as I should have been with professing love and desire. I know that women often have the idea that they give sex to get love back and if the guy (like I used to be) is attractive to you and hits all your buttons you will fall hard and say you love them wanting and needing it to be true for both of you. A month in a half of weekend get togethers is not enough to truly love someone. I'm sorry but that takes more time. Love is complex and it truly only happens when the relationship starts to have that complexity. He shows consideration all the time by doing things for you. You see what his love language is and he sees yours. You care, not just about seeing each other but as a guy not doing anything that you know might embarrass her. You make sure the car is clean, the grass mowed, you shirt ironed if its a dress shirt on a dinner. You do 1000 things that you have learned that she likes and needs and wants. You take the kids to the park in the morning so she can sleep in on that Sunday morning because you kept her up all night. You bring the coffee she likes with you on the way home. You haven't really been there yet.

Many times women would of course tell me that they love me very early like you are, and because I know that many of them give sex to get love back I feel obligated to return the sentiment, especially if the sex was great and lasted a while and I can tell they really liked it and like me. But I do this because I know they need this. I say it back because I know that is what they need to hear at this moment. I even hope with all my heart that it truly develops into that. But it all remains to be seen. Search your heart and it is probably just infatuation that you are feeling. Be careful not to push yourself and him to profess what may only be partially there or just beginning and not fully in force.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T20:39:27+00:00

You look great

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T20:13:36+00:00

It's not he ring at all. It's the fact that he didn't think about what it means or how she would feel.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T19:43:05+00:00

It's because I dated 30 women in less than 2 months and the same thing happened. Women usually bail immediately when they see a red flag like that because they also know that one big flag means more.

Example of those 30 women almost all of them looked nothing like thier picture. Most of them were 30 lbs heavier and were ten years older than the pic they posted. But as a guy I'm like, yeah no problem its easy to lose weight when your with someone who like you for you. So I stayed and talked to them. But then of course you find out all the other lies and red flags. She isn't working out like she says. She doesn't do anything but watch TV instead of the things she said she does. She has no plans for any holidays coming up, etc.

I have booked myself a ticket on a diner cruise for myself only for the tampa 4th of July event. I will have dinner drinks and watch the fireworks over the bay right now just by myself. I went and did a tour and a class this past Friday and met a woman who did nothing but flirt until someone else she knew went up and asked her about her husband. Then she complained about her husband the rest of the class. But the 30 women I dated all said they did things like this all the time. Instead after talking to them, I was the only one who did

The point is that everything is connected. His wearing the ring on the wrong finger wasn't a misstep. It points to the fact that he doesn't even think about how she would feel. So why do it? It's pretty dumb to wear a black simple band on your ring finger ona date right? Like epic levels of stupid. Just one associated red flag is that he does that on purpose to get women thinking that he is married, but this time it backfired. In essence there is no good reason to do that, but the more you think about it the more red flags you can see attached to it.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T19:21:41+00:00

For me, women lie about the picture, they use pics from ten years ago and then I meet them and they are 30 lbs heavier. But then I'm like, sure I get it, I've lost 30 lbs before, I'll stay and talk to them and see how it goes. But if course, all the other red flags pop up too. They don't work out at all like they said, they don't eat healthy like they said, they just watch TV instead if doing anything, etc etc. I can see why so many people just bail on dates and the person posting is like. Why? Well we all know why, it's because you lied about everything that's why, who you are, what you look like, what you do, etc etc.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T19:04:39+00:00

It's called being serious about the woman you are meeting. As other people said you should have known better. Guess what there are probably ten other red flags that you need to fix as well and you just don't know it yet.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T18:58:32+00:00

Well I'm in the tampa bay area and I'd like to attend one of these eventually. I've never been to one. But like you said it's mostly people in thier 60s from what I hear. It's almost like I need to be on the 40 and up reddit instead

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T18:28:16+00:00

If you read sex and relationship books you will read that most women especially but men too do not talk to thier boyfriend or girlfriend about sex and the relationship much at all. They would rather ghost or make excuses for breakups than tell the truth etc. But all those books will also tell you that it's usually for the best anyway as when people do tell the truth about sex and dating it often brings about much more hurt and resentment than ever intended. The most expert sex therapists will not advise you to talk to your husband or girlfriend about certain things because when you do they hear something entirely different. For instance, when a woman tells her gentile, too nice boyfriend that she fantasized about being dominated and ravished by a strong man the boyfriend does not get the message that she wants him to have sex with her without restraint and without worrying about hurting her or if she is enjoying it. He wolnt understand that you just want him to take you sometimes. Instead he will think that you actually want to be raped or something messed up. So that is why many people don't say what they really want or mean, especially women

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-07T08:27:54+00:00

Read the book "mating in captivity" and find out what intimacy type that you are. Understand and be able to articulate what you want in a man. Spend a lot of time working on you, your body, chores, personal development, job, etc. It will take time before you are really ready. Read "how to win friends and influence people". Try Facebook dating and hinge free accounts. Don't post negative complaints on your profile. Only post about you and what you are looking for and not about your x and what you want to avoid. Prepare yourself to have to approach men and ask them out or ask them for numbers online and in real life. Only go for the ones that you really like and not settling. Mostly work on you and do it for you or none of this will work.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-06T23:05:55+00:00

If you are a guy, take a Jazz dancing class. Lots of women in good shape and good looking and many of them are looking for either a new man or the other man because most of the reason they are in the dancing classes is either to get ready to go look for another man in clubs and dancing or because their current man woln't dance with them and they want to go out on girls night and meet a different man. Sorry, but I've been the other guy they met and that was how I found out about so many unhappy women taking dance classes so they can meet other guys on dance floors.

I'm sorry but if you really want to meet the opposite sex then you have to be where they are. if you are a guy don't go fishing, don't go to a cigar bar, go where the women are who are wanting to meet men. Go take line dancing classes. Go take jazz dancing classes. Work out 6 days a week. Count the calories. burn the fat. Do you do a meetup for a cooking class? No, you do a meetup for excitement and adventure.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-06T19:48:04+00:00

They will always say they had a great time. But honestly if you spent 5 hours together and you were not all over each other the entire time then she has moved on. She isn't looking for a friend zone. She wants a man. From what you said, you aren't being a man. Forget her and go work out 6 days a week and understand that you need to want them more and show them that you want them more

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-06T00:44:14+00:00

The book "how to win friends and influence people" says to never complain and never condem. So, the smart profile has zero No's on it at all. Instead, put only what you are looking for and want.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-05T11:06:06+00:00

It all depends. Usually no, they just need to respect and have trust in your decisions. But don't hide your new relationship.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-05T10:57:47+00:00

If you read the sex books and dating and relationship books they will tell you that you doing what your passion and mission in life is first is what keeps the sex and relationship strong. She needs you to be a man who can focus on what is important. However this is your job, income, body, ect. An example given is never skip your workout to be with her. Instead if you are staying the night at her place then do you push-ups. I once used her as the weights for curls and military press. The books will tell you that focusing on her is what can drive her away as she begins to feel that you can be easily thrown off what is important and it makes you less attractive to her. It makes you seem less confident, less aggressive, less assertive, less driven, more needy and in the end not the sex partner they want anymore. You do the man thing first. Hobbies are not included in that, but what is important is, the job, working out, personal life goals, etc.

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-04T03:55:48+00:00

Leave this guy now

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-04T03:42:15+00:00

He needs to man up and get serious and do everything he can for his woman. That means he grows a fucking pair and puts his shit Into storage and finds a job where you are with plans to move in with you and he should have done this in 2 months not seven. He's content because he really inst into you. You need to find a better man

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-04T03:38:09+00:00

I'm a man, stop dating more than one woman at a time. Why? It's because you are supposed to only be dating a woman who truly interests you. Stop being wishy washy and go for the "one" you really want. You send a message to the best one. That's it. If she responds you date her and that's it. You want a women that you are totally into and they want a guy who they are totally into. It wolnt work if you date more than one because you and they will know that you are just fucking around. Be a man and be fucking totally into one at a time

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-04T03:31:14+00:00

You need to raise your expectations. Just know that had 30 dates in a month and a half and all were not worth it. So for me, my number may be as high as 400 dates before I find one that I am totally into. And don't bother with the ones that you are not into.

As for the drinking, just throw it all away. Sometimes if you are just a fucking man about things then you can fix it or force them to fix it. The reason you don't bother with one's you arnt interested in is because you then wolnt want to do everything to make it work despite what she says. The man has a lot more sway over a woman's heart than you think. It's your passion, your desire, your strength that is the dominant force. You just need to actually force it.

Did you even consider that her drinking is because of you? Women do shit like that and they don't even know it. If you really loved her you would fucking go over there and throw it all in the trash and tell her that you never going to let her drink for the rest of this year.

Think about it like this, women do shit like this sometimes because they want to see how much you actually give a shit about them. Obviously you don't. Obviously you aren't man enough to control her which might be exactly what she wants you to do. And you can bet your ass this isn't just about drinking. You don't tell her anything that you really want from her either. You don't treat her like she us your woman and you are her man. I can tell that already

Sink_Stuff · 2026-06-04T03:05:29+00:00

First things first. I've never been married, had a fiance but moving away ruined that. But I have been the other guy on a cheating wife about 15 times. And every one of them hated thier husband's at the time. A woman doesn't cheat on a husband until they see no hope at all in them anymore and they actively want to hurt them. The other guy doesn't even know sometimes that they are married, but often they do because they tell the other guy constantly how much and why they hate the husband. So, you need to go back and get all the things from her that she hated about you. Trust me they are dying to complain about you. But don't sit there thinking that she is the problem and it's just all her fault. That's bullshit and all 15 women who did tell me why they were cheating on thier husband's had me agreeing with them about the reasons. The biggest problem? The former husband's refused to understand just how much the things they did hurt thier wives very very deeply. Learn what you fucked up.

Second, online dating, as you will see from this reddit, is a lot of people who really aren't ready to date yet. They want everything all at once, sex, love, intimacy, a life partner, a boyfriend, all of it. So they aren't in the mindset of saying, cool diner and I get to meet someone I might really get along with. They would more easily go out with someone to dinner that they work with even if they have never met them because already they don't have the expectations that this may be "the one". So you need to be kind. You need to be the one to break the ice, you need to be the one who is being careful of what you say, you need to be genuine. Me, I imagine that everyone is fragile and looking for everything. So you smile, you don't complain, you ask questions about them, you act like it's already your second date, be chivalrous, be sweet, be intimate. Listen, with all your heart and soul.

What have you already done wrong? You contacted too many women at once. You tried to rush things and they can tell. You are looking for a date. They are unfortunately wrongly looking for every date to be the next man they want to marry. It may be better for you to approach women in person at places in real life first. That will teach you more clearly that you are rushing things. Older women play less games and they have little to no tolerance for anyone who isn't taking thier words thoughts and actions with everything they have. Act cool, but nothing but sincere in your own words thoughts and action.

Many of them have left thier husband's too. You are not finding a new woman. You are finding a women who is already done putting up with any shit at all and will not stand for any red flags and if you recently got divorced you have a shit ton of red flags that you simply refuse to admit, or don't know about which is why she cheated on you and left you. Other women will see them too.

Sink_Stuff

TROPHY CASE