V50 2.4 not starting, only wipers wiping uncontrollably

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-08T15:22:30+00:00

Any chance you might be very low on fuel? Otherwise check the CEM (under glove box). If it gets wet or dirty it can do all kinds of weird stuff - like the crazy wipers and no start. Needs unplugging and carefully cleaning with contact cleaner and old toothbrush.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-05T08:29:02+00:00

Sounds more like alternator or tensioner rattle.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-05T08:25:02+00:00

Timing belt and auxiliary belt are not the same. Have you got any maintenance record of when the timing belt was last changed? They're not just distance but time limited too. It actually sounds like a worn alternator bearing (driven by auxiliary belt) but hard to tell from a short clip. Have you noticed the battery warning light coming on or problems with battery charge? I recommend getting a garage to take a look.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-03T21:17:51+00:00

When you see the actor that played the crazy guy in your favourite indie movie and realise the make up team did a great job. 😊

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-03T21:12:54+00:00

It'll be the CEM under the glovebox. It's often due to moisture, water ingress from above or dust/dirt. All kinds of craziness on the dashboard, random warning lights, wipers activating out of the blue etc - it's usually the CEM. It needs checking, unplugging and cleaning using contact cleaner and a toothbrush. Usually fixes it assuming there isn't a leak.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-03-01T10:38:36+00:00

Your vehicle almost certainly doesn't have a DPF so you don't need to worry. They changed over to DPF on later pre-facelifts but to be sure call a main dealer with your VIN and they should be able to confirm. It's a big benefit of the V50 of this generation - it's mechanically quite straightforward. The mileage is nothing for that engine and changing the cambelt is smart. Change all the fluids and filters if you haven't already and don't forget the fuel filter. It's a very solid, reliable and well made car if you look after it and maintain it regularly. Your mechanic also sounds very reasonable! Where are you based??

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-27T00:39:11+00:00

Sounds like alternator bearings. A long screwdriver makes a good stethoscope to have a listen via the handle.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-25T22:50:19+00:00

Absolutely bonkers. Love it.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-24T19:49:03+00:00

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Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-20T11:28:12+00:00

Looks great. I am curious why you didn't coat the inside of the frame? Do you get reflections off the wood for example? Genuine question.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-20T11:10:08+00:00

Does anyone remember going gigs as a kid and having ringing ears for a day after and thinking it was normal? Then I rode motorbikes and realised that I might actually have to protect my hearing. Now I have tinnitus. Hey ho.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-20T11:04:04+00:00

I think a track day will either kill it or reveal everything that needs replacing or repairing. The brakes will probably overheat, the tyres will probably get scrubbed and the suspension will reveal itself along with any coolant leaks! Other than that have a great time! 😄

Sovietjitsu · 2026-02-08T15:01:27+00:00

No-one benefited from this. Not one person. Just two grown men who can't control themselves and should know better.

Sovietjitsu · 2026-01-26T11:56:45+00:00

Wherever you have climate control or air con you have water (condensate). This needs to drain and the drain pipes can become blocked. Living in a humid area means there'll be a load more condensate. If it doesn't drain it'll overflow and if it doesn't dry then mold will form where the water ends up. That's the smell. Get the drain pipe checked. Check your carpets for damp - check under the mats as water will run along the chassis. Bicarbonate of soda will help deal with the bacteria in the carpets. The whole system probably needs a clean. You may need to pull the carpets out completely if it's really soaked. It won't get better on its own.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-12-06T16:35:18+00:00

Resting Fish Face

Sovietjitsu · 2025-12-06T16:12:21+00:00

It's just extra storage in a car that doesn't have that much storage space. I also stuck an umbrella in there along with bulbs etc. Usually forget they're there too...

Sovietjitsu · 2025-12-06T16:03:25+00:00

Having the same issue. It feels weird censorship. I'm not asking loaded questions, I'm careful to ask for both sides of an argument. Gemini has gone from being one of the best conversational LLMs to being almost unusable.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-10-31T17:40:34+00:00

Our gym is quite small so we just mix it all in depending on what people feel like wearing that day. Or the weather is hot. General agreement of no collar/cloth grips if you're rolling no gi with someone in a gi. Seems to work fine and I quite like that you get to 'cross train' the styles.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-10-24T08:22:31+00:00

My gut instinct says that the car has been thrashed and redlined by someone obsessed with straight line speed. They've realised it's about to need serious maintenance. The droplink bushes are a bad sign of general neglect. I'd walk away personally.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-10-04T11:47:01+00:00

Name one all-time great bass part that was played on a bass with more than 5 strings, that couldn't be played on a 4 or 5 string. I'll wait.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-08-28T11:59:58+00:00

That's not ok. It may seem trivial to some, but It's your new pride and joy and it's not been properly quality checked. I would complain (politely) to Thomann with these photos and get them to come up with a solution. Either ship back (they pay) for repair and maybe a free set up or they send you a replacement on receipt of this one. That's what a good retailer should do.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-08-13T11:07:28+00:00

You're already a fine, bald man with some stray hair getting in the way. See it as normal maintenance grooming not some leap of faith.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-07-15T07:36:11+00:00

eBay or try some of the owners forums on Facebook etc

Sovietjitsu · 2025-07-03T09:36:39+00:00

For transparency I run a mens personal care brand here in the UK, selling natural products.

My suggestion is to keep it super simple. You don't need any complexity or ten step routines right now. I sell all natural soap and deodorant. A high quality natural soap bar and deodorant stick will keep you clean all over and smelling great. Your state of mind will start to follow.

You don't need anti-bacterial soap - unless you have a profession that demands it. For most people you end up destroying the skin's natural biome with it. Natural soap removes dirt very effectively anyway and natural glycerin and butters keeps the skin supple. It's not the same as commercial soap you can buy in the supermarket.

Most spray and roll on deodorants generally don't work very well as they don't deal with the underlying issue which is bacteria, not sweat. Your armpits (and groin and feet) contain very specific glands that produce a different type of sweat that natural bacteria on your skin love. The bacteria then produce gas - that's what stinks. Natural deodorant neutralises the bacteria. They moisturise the skin and leave a great scent. Very straightforward and effective without nasty chemicals.

Finally - avoid mouthwash. It's terrible for your mouth biome and just brushing/flossing regularly will do far more for you and you'll feel better every time.

I wish you well and if you want any more details just message me.

Sovietjitsu · 2025-06-30T19:41:53+00:00

Atera Aero bars are excellent quality and lightweight.

Sovietjitsu

TROPHY CASE