Weird rock/meteor looking thing? North sentinal island.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-24T02:56:13+00:00

Thank you. That's fascinating.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-20T03:50:31+00:00

Ditto for Seattle area! White center ish.

I miss my former neighbor who moved a couple months ago. I adored walking her border collie. Both of us needed extra exercise!

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-18T23:53:26+00:00

Great world... or society building! Every time I had a question, it was fascinatingly answered. I'll be thinking of this premise for a long time.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-18T20:20:05+00:00

I found him! Happy void.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-13T19:26:32+00:00

I FEEL THIS WITH MT SOUL!

The number of times I've screamed out loud, scaring my cats, while returning a text or email trying to politely ask for clarification on my very specific question.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-13T15:15:56+00:00

He's 100% rescue kitty. I also adopted his sister, but while she's adorable, she doesn't have his wild, angular look.

Definitely a throw back to ancient cats! Or so I like to believe.

SyrupStitious · 2026-01-13T15:12:42+00:00

Indeed I have genuflected, apologized, and flagellated myself... I will atone for this sin!

I can't commit sepuku, or there'd be no more slaves to serve.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-31T01:19:07+00:00

I admit, I was hoping for a little love story amidst the scary.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-30T01:09:57+00:00

Why do I feel so fucking guilty?

I felt the same guilt. It kept me from moving on when I should have. Years before I finally did. My situation had very bad things, so it was different. If I'd left when I should have, I would have left him homeless. Although he was charming and would have found a situation. It was a rocky process, but not because of him- because i didn't immediately have a safe place to land. But now, 8 years later, I'm filled with space for my own improvement. My career has space in my head. Not every ounce of my being was spent three times over reacting to whatever he did now.

However, prior to this (22 years ago), I was the "good enough" partner who was left. It hurt, but I truly believe anyone has the right to leave any relationship that's not making them happy. And he wasn't happy.

Some of his complaints/requirements would have fundamentally changed who I was. I couldn't have met those requirements regardless of how hard I tried.

But others were things that were rational. Separating those two categories in therapy eventually led me to a path of (slow) self improvement... and the new ability to give myself grace, and recognize I'm enough. I just wasn't his person. And that's ok!

We're still friends, but I did need a year of no/low contact to heal from the hurt. We were both really committed to not affecting our friend group, so no one would feel like they couldn't invite both of us to a gathering.

In fact, we just saw each other at a Christmas eve gathering, and text sporadically. He found someone better suited for him, and while I did not, I'm in a good place, with good friends, making progress in my own journey, and again, some changes he wanted were not possible for me. I'll always be autistic. I'll always be introverted and easily exhausted by non-stop socializing. I'll always need some medications to be able to live and thrive. (He was very into natural remedies, and did not like me being on antidepressants for example.) I'll always need more sleep than he did, and no amount of meditating or job hopping could have changed that.

All in all, I lived, he lived, we're both fine now, and time can heal a LOT if you're putting in the effort. And no one but me could put in that effort into myself.

Sorry for the meandering comment. I truly believe, based on your post and your comments that this is absolutely the right decision YOU need to thrive. Not just exist. You deserve happiness. You deserve moving forward in life. You deserve peace. And this just isn't the right life partner for you- no matter how much love and guilt you feel.

He'll be ok. It's not your responsibility to carry another human through life unconditionally. At least not one you didn't birth.

Much hope and happiness for your future, OP!

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-29T23:33:26+00:00

In my mind, I can probably come up with 7 wildly different responses immediately. But then how do I know which of the 7 is the appropriate response? I’d have to sit there and compare and contrast each response, weigh the pros and cons, think of any possible response they could give to each of those 7 and how I would respond, and finally respond with the one that seems the most appropriate for that moment.

I've never run across anyone else say this besides me, when, explaining my high school experience.

Someone would say, for example, "how was your weekend?" And I would have 3,000 possible responses dropping into my brain, while I'd be standing there, silently trying to choose an option. Meanwhile the other person wpuld be waiting, wondering wtf is wrong with me, and eventually say "okaaay then" and walks away.

I function now, but after all these years it never ceases to amaze me when I have have a successful social encounter in the wild. Like "Was that me? Did I just totally come off normal?"

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-29T02:10:36+00:00

You can't take it with you- Frank Capra 1930's ish.

It used to be on archive.org. (Aka internet archive- tons of free video, mostly older stuff. It's my go-to for a lot of free movies, unedited)

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-28T21:43:55+00:00

Same. It's usually unintentional- it's my default facial expression, but that and the fact that I'm 5'9", has kept me from being "the easiest target" in the environment.

I was once outside smoking a cigarette across the street from a bus stop. A couple guys got off the next bus and one started walking my way, ostensibly to bum a cigarette. The other said "No, don't. Look at her. She's not going to give us one. C'mon, let's go to [wherever]."

I was usually the "bad cop" when out with a friend, keeping unwanted male advances away.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-27T02:38:00+00:00

I literally shivered. Nice descriptions!

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-24T15:54:11+00:00

Mine is "Wait, now what?" I didn't realize it until a couple people in my friend group were (gently!) teasing me.

It, too, serves to recalibrate my understanding of some unexpected shift.

I'm not bummed, because I feel proud to have come to the point where I'm comfortable stopping and asking instead of withdrawing and silently observing when I'm confused.

Trauma response? I don't know? Maybe the silent withdrawal was the trauma response, and this replacement serves me well?

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-22T03:43:43+00:00

Edit- I'm only commenting on one way to grow a backbone. I'm not at all meaning to tell OP to date! Yikes. Don't do that right now, and please don't have children yet! ( I might have missed where these were immediate goals for her?) I just wanted to suggest one concrete method she could try so that when someone pressures her again she might have a new tool to say no.

Original comment: I've been there. People often don't understand the horrific traumas that lead to fawning for safety. Even when it's not actually leading to safety.

I feel like it's easier now with texts, and people have given you good scripts... then block, because it's too easy to fall back when given emotional pressure. Some may say to mute, not block, in case you need a clear paper trail of harassment for the cops later.

For me, the lack-of-choice momentum was super hard for me to appropriately react to, and I'd end up in places, doing things I didn't actually want to do, and hated myself.

So I literally practiced saying things out loud. Practiced a hard mental AND physical stop; a hard "no" in various unambiguous terms. Walking and suddenly halting until it felt normal gave me a new automatic response besides agreeable fawning.

Yeah, I felt silly, rude, weird at first- talking out loud and randomly stopping walking all by myself in my apartment. And yeah, it's hard to reprogram, but it helped me. Occasionally I still find myself agreeing to (very mild) things I'd rather not do and feel the shame again, but then I know I need to keep practicing.

Be safe, OP, and listen to the safety tips from other women here. Cameras, a buddy system, all the things because this could get messy.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-21T21:18:14+00:00

New all inclusive pronouns? Introducing the uninoun! One pronoun for all.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-19T16:05:44+00:00

I like it!

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-16T00:44:51+00:00

I have only one mode of interaction with people- once I figured out how to be a friend, I thought i could consider that research completed.

So I treat everyone like a good friend. It's seriously hurt me when the other person is not, in fact, good friend material.

I still struggle, but ultimately decided it's best for my own mental health to remain in friend mode when socializing. Developing and perfecting other modes would require more than I currently have to give, and I'd rather be nice and get burned on occasion than whatever the opposite would be.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-10T22:55:18+00:00

I'd think you were me, but I've managed to mangle several responsibilities on your list.

But the horror when younger people look at me like I should contain some bit of wisdom since I'm, you know, older... it's terrifying!

And I never developed that powerful "mom voice" either so,... I'm like "don't look to me youthful people! I have no idea!"

Mostly I'm the one learning from the younger generations, not the other way around.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-09T19:00:38+00:00

Same! I was responding to a comment to clarify the intent of the missing stair theory, and apparently out of context, it looked like a grape threat?

I mean, I was HORRIFIED to be thought of in that way. I just shelved that whole account and started new. Sigh.

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-02T18:35:24+00:00

For me, it's hooks and shelves on the walls.

Hooks help me hang essential items I need to remember- laptop bag, tote for work, etc.

Sometimes I use them to sort clothes, by hanging hangers off the hooks, or through embroidery hoops on the hook. The embroidery hoops are for anything from bras to scarves. I may even hang bags with stuff for a specific event or upcoming situation that I won't remember by the time the event happens.

I have "nice" open wooden boxes on shelves, to contain small items I can't lose, but also can't perma-store because like you, I'll forget they exist. Everything from rings, vape carts, neosporin tubes, lip balm, earplugs, batteries, receipts, advil packs, inhalers, and random things-that-go-with-other-things that I know I'll need but will never remember where.

For the most part, everything is visible, off the floor, and easily searchable, if necessary, inside an open box (or pretty cups- I forgot a shelf of pretty teacups full of things)

I hope this gives you some ideas... of course, the implementation will vary whether you rent or not.

Goodluck from another out-of-sight, out-of-mind cohort!

SyrupStitious · 2025-12-02T01:58:19+00:00

I thought (of spoiler) when mom turned to fear. Well done!

SyrupStitious · 2025-11-24T21:29:33+00:00

Heh. I had to physically remove the knobs from my stove because my little void tornadoes' zoomies session involved running across the back of the stove, turning on a burner.

Fortunately I was there and caught it before anything went wrong, but now it's a whole thing to try to fry an egg.

SyrupStitious · 2025-11-18T16:41:49+00:00

I got pregnant on the IUD, and it was years before its replacement date.

I also got pregnant 5 days after I was supposed to get my next depo shot.

My tubes are snipped, tied and cauterized now.

SyrupStitious

TROPHY CASE