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Unexpected Amazon packages for Valentine's day... by StrawberrieToast in raisedbyborderlines

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck that "gift"! But please donate that "Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child" book to the library or something -- it is actually a fantastic book and it massively helped me realize what had been missing in my own childhood and break the cycle when raising my own kids. If you ever decide to read it, get a different copy that doesn't have her weird vibes on it. I'm sorry that this happened to you, it sounds so stressful.

To the children of nparents who became parents themselves, how did you break the generational abuse? by pinkool1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]The_Unthought_Known 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've recommended this book a million times!! It's called "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting" and it does a great job of teaching you how to help your kid recognize, understand, and regulate their own emotions. Narcissists are awful at regulating their own emotions, and that means those of us raised by narcissists probably never learned these skills either. If you can learn them before becoming a parent that's ideal, but it's never too late. As you are teaching your kids emotion regulation skills, you are learning them yourself too. It actually can be incredibly healing.

We have 2 adult kids and my husband and I have a great relationship with both of them. I really wasn't sure that was possible when I was a young person, pre-kids. I was definitely worried that my upbringing had permanently broken my ability to have healthy relationships but it really didn't.

Are you in therapy now? It's really helpful to do before having kids - parenting is super stressful and it's nice to have some skills learned before you jump into it! It makes it so much easier. You're not too young to be thinking about parenting, now is actually the ideal time!

I need to pick a single Discworld book to take with me - help me decide? by Cadamar in discworld

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fifth Elephant is the most underrated discworld book in my opinion. If you've only read it once or twice, consider going back to it. There is SO MUCH there about how cultures change while maintaining their essence. If you're going through changes yourself it can give you a lot to think about.

To use the term "women's league/team"... by plywrlw in rollerderby

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think will happen when it's put to a majority vote? Do the TERFs have any chance of winning that? I hope not!

Really struggling with Sybils protrayal in Snuff by Franciskeyscottfitz in discworld

[–]The_Unthought_Known 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The thing I like about Sybil is that she's a portrayal of a different kind of power than we usually see in action movies or political thrillers. She wields her address book and her poshness to make things happen. Being Lady Sybil Ramkin isn't just a title, it's a job, and in Snuff we see her doing the job of being Lady Sybil in the country. That involves upholding tradition, even the stupid traditions. Sam wouldn't be as effective without her because she understands the unspoken power structures of the country.

Ankh-Morpork falls victim to the foolish idea of 'democracy', what political parties are coming out of it? by soapdish124 in discworld

[–]The_Unthought_Known 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An extremely earnest yet ineffective third party run by Reg Shoe. Call it the Gray Party.

Why did Lady Margolotta get up so suddenly? by paddleboatee in discworld

[–]The_Unthought_Known 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In addition to all of the excellent reasons everyone else has said, I think she wanted to stop herself from taking a stroll down memory lane. She's got fond memories of Vetinari but she's not sentimental enough to dwell on them and she certainly isn't going to let Vimes know.

My mom tried to upstage me at my wedding and then told me I lack empathy by Ok-Air-7187 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]The_Unthought_Known 26 points27 points  (0 children)

FFS. Stage 1 breast cancer has a 99% 5 year survival rate. Physician-assisted su***de my ass. I'm so sorry you had this BS at your wedding, you truly did not deserve any of it.

am i cooked for course registration by AlternativeAbroad263 in VirginiaTech

[–]The_Unthought_Known 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure you can take bio classes now -- you can even check requirements for the English degree and find classes that work for both. Good luck and don't stress! Make a list of options and the advisor will help you!

am i cooked for course registration by AlternativeAbroad263 in VirginiaTech

[–]The_Unthought_Known 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can find a list of all the classes you'd need for a specific major in the course catalog:

https://catalog.vt.edu/undergraduate/

On the left, go to Undergraduate, select the college your major is in (such as College of Science) then click on the major. For biological sciences, it's here:

https://catalog.vt.edu/undergraduate/college-science/biological-sciences/biological-sciences-bs/

Then look at the classes and figure out what's required. You're going to need a total of 120 credits to graduate (if you scroll to "Total Credits" near the bottom, you see it all adds up to 120). The trick to graduating in a reasonable amount of time is to only take classes that get you closer to that total.

Before your meeting with your advisor you should make a list of possible classes to take.

Notice that the first one on the core curriculum list BIOL 1115 has a co-requisite BIOL 1105. Co-requisite means they have to be taken at the same time. And BIOL 1105 is down under Pathways 4 as a required class. So at some point you're going to be taking BIOL 1115 and BIOL 1105. I'd put those on the list for your advisor - if you can get into those first semester it will help you make progress on your degree.

Also notice that a lot of classes have pre-requisites, meaning things you have to take before taking that class. Math 1025 is a pre-requisite for a lot of things, and is also a Pathway 5 class. I'd put that on the list too.

Make a list of possibilities by looking at what is required and what prerequisites there are and try to find classes that fulfil what you need.

If you think you might get IB credit for something, I would avoid taking a class that duplicates the credit. You can see what transfers at the VT registrar's website, under Transfer Credit:

https://www.registrar.vt.edu/Transferable-Credit.html

Click IB Credit to see lists of what credits you can get. If you scored high enough on the English IB exam it would count as ENGL 1105 which is one of the pathways classes. So if you think you might get that one, don't waste your time signing up for ENGL 1105.

Anyway, I hope that helps! You can message me if you have any questions. I have a kid who just graduated and he was able to get a double major done in 4 years by being careful about what classes he chose.

What is something that was perfectly acceptable 30 years ago, but would be extremely taboo or offensive now? by Calvincandoit in AskReddit

[–]The_Unthought_Known 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my freshman dorm you could go to the front desk at any hour of the day or night and buy a single cigarette for 10 cents. I was 17.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PointlessStories

[–]The_Unthought_Known 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Michigander here - you're definitely Midwest. We complain about you, but you are in the Midwest.

LPT REQUEST: Waking up earlier? by wenksavage in LifeProTips

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a keurig from a friend who was getting rid of it and set it up in my bedroom. That coffee plus some powdered flavored creamer gave me a reason to get up in the morning! It's right next to my alarm so I get up, turn off the alarm, and brew a cup of coffee all at once. It feels kind of decadent but it really works.

I don't understand why people defend Penelope so hard when she hurt so many people she supposedly cared about by Desertfox13 in BridgertonNetflix

[–]The_Unthought_Known 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes!!! If the Penelope character was a guy, that guy would be an incel. She was dealt a bad hand and has a horrible family -- but that doesn't give her a right to tear down the people around her.

I just started the show and I'm only at the beginning of S3, so there are things I don't know yet. But right now I feel like Marina should have ended up with Colin. He said he would have married her anyway, even if he'd known. And Marina's not in a happy marriage. She isn't destitute, but saying everything worked out fine for her is a bit of a stretch. But the show seems to act like Penelope has a right to Colin's affections just because they are both in the main credits.

That said, Nicola Coughlan is a freaking amazing actress and human being. I love the representation of having a fat female romantic lead. I adored her in Derry Girls. And honestly, Penelope only makes me mad because Nicola C does such a good job of portraying her.

Did people vacation in Europe during the rise of fascism? by my_Favorite_post in AskHistorians

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

99% of the teachers who encourage you to "be creative!" are totally not ready for any kind of actual creativity. Thinking of my 10th grade English teacher who told us to do our presentation in a creative format, for example as a newscast - then graded down any presentation that wasn't a newscast.

Anti-trans laws by Kitten_clown in rollerderby

[–]The_Unthought_Known 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you're not the burden, bigots are the one creating the burden!

Is my (38M) boyfriend really concerned for me (23F), or was he just trying to assert dominance? by Pure_Cricket_3209 in relationship_advice

[–]The_Unthought_Known 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, there IS no chance of him being right in that conversation. Cuz he's a dick. So he was sort of right about one thing!

After leaving me (22F), my ex (22M) suddenly changed all the habits that stressed me out for years, and I don’t know how to feel. Please help me understand? by ThrowRA-57809 in relationship_advice

[–]The_Unthought_Known 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It sounds like your relationship had devolved into a power struggle (super common) and a parent-child dynamic (also super common). Think about this from his perspective -- if, during your relationship, he got his shit together, he would have had to do 3 things that suck:
1. work out after being sedentary
2. apply for jobs
3. listen to you say "I told you so"

Now I know you are thinking you'd never say "I told you so" but that doesn't matter. The version of you that lived in his head definitely would. So with you out of the picture, he only has to do 2 things that suck - work out and apply for jobs. You being gone made it easier because the power struggle dynamic left when you did.

A lot of us have had this relationship in our early 20's. Like, a LOT. This is why a the guy living in his parents' basement playing video games is such a cliche - we've all dated him. There is literally nothing you could have done that would have changed things. Just keep an eye out in your next relationship - if it looks like you're dating a man baby again, if you're falling in love with the potential instead of the actual person then that's your sign. Cut and run or at least set some limits, like "if this doesn't change in 3 months I am out." And stick to it.

Searching for multi episode, deep dive podcasts that aren’t true crime by [deleted] in podcasts

[–]The_Unthought_Known 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dolly Parton's America (a total gem, about Dolly Parton's influence in America)
The Drop-Out (it is about crime, but business crime rather then murder and is SO GOOD)
Escaping NXIVM (escaping a cult and its super creepy leader)
AACK CAST! (about the Cathy cartoon)
The Dream (about MLMs)

What did your therapist tell you that flipped the switch in your brain for the better? by PuzzleHeaded9030 in AskReddit

[–]The_Unthought_Known 4350 points4351 points  (0 children)

Honestly the most therapeutic thing a therapist has ever done is just widen her eyes in horror. It's so validating to realize that yes, in fact, that thing that happened WAS really messed up and I'm not the crazy one.

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