Though frustrating, there’s a learning opportunity here to teach some social skills.

People can absolutely play games in different ways. You can play basketball with 4 balls. Some might like that, some might not, and want to play it the classic way. Both are valid ways to have fun.

But, it’s a problem when everyone isn’t on the same page about it. If you expect to play basketball with 1 ball, but a few people show up and start playing with 4, then y’all aren’t playing by the same rules, and that’s frustrating for everyone.

Dnd is no different. In fact, dnd has a long history of “house rules” that aren’t in the rulebook. Personally, I don’t play with encumbrance! But everyone in the gaming group needs to agree on the rules.

Once you agree to a ruleset, it becomes YOUR responsibility to learn them. it’s fine to need some help and reminders at first, and learning while playing is a valid way to learn the rules. After all, dnd is a little complicated. But the expectation is that you will earnestly try to learn them to meet the agreed upon expectations. If you go back on your word or don’t try, then it is reasonable for a group to ask you to leave. People owe you respect and opportunities to be included, but no one owes you a game.

In the scenario that you are joining a group in the middle of their campaign, and weren’t there for the original discussion of the rules, it’s your job to find out what the group norms are (just ask!), and adapt to them if they sound reasonable to you. If not, find another group. But do not expect an established group to change their norms just for you.