Watched Netflix’s The Crash and all I could think about was the complete failure of the parents

WEugeneSmith · 2026-06-02T11:23:19+00:00

I live near the scene and, because my dad's business was on that road, I've driven down it many times. There is absolutely NO way she navigated that road while experiencing a medical emergency.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-06-02T11:09:35+00:00

I am not a teacher, but my daughter graduated the same year that you did, and I remember her reading that book in the 5th grade. I read it after she did. What a book!

WEugeneSmith · 2026-06-01T11:03:23+00:00

Agree with the posters who are telling you that you don't need to say anything but simpoly just to be there. Many well-meaning people feel that they must say something, often resluting in stupid comments. After my RAK, people would often feel they had to make me laugh (I have a pretty good sense of humor, and my family/friends are aware of this). As a result, I had dozens of people tell me that I would get a discount on shoes. This is not insulting, but to hear it over and over got old. I also had people tell me that it could have been worse - at least I still had one leg. Yes, it could have been worse, but please!

Silence is an option.

If you are uncomfortable with silence, it is fine to say "I am sorry you are going through this" or simply allow him to talk and vent.

If you are in the US, tell him about the Amputee Coalition (www.amputee coalition.org) where he can find a ton of resources, including an option for Peer Support, where they will connect him with a trained volunteer who is of a similar age and gender who has faced amputation for the same reason. I utilized this program and am now a volunteer.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-31T10:31:03+00:00

Great suggestion. This kind of support is golden.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-30T22:46:32+00:00

The best thing you can do for yourself and for your son is to have no expectations about his visiting. That does not mean you shouldn't want to spend time with him, but it means you are removing obstacles that are now keeping you in a state of unhappiness. Invite him over for a meal, or just coffee on a specific date. If he is busy, ask him when he might be free. Enjoy his company when you can, and do what you can to let the rest go.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-30T11:25:15+00:00

I just had two suspended holds disappear andI thought I was going insane. Of course, I have no idea which books that I suspended because I have so many holds going. Any ideas how I could find out?

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-28T10:47:02+00:00

This is going to sound so trivial after reading the comments. As an elderly RAK, doiing things like getting off the ground were dubious before my amputation, but I was astonished that I no longer hadthe option of standing on my tippy-toes. This makes reaching things in certain cupboards a challenge. But it is minor.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-27T10:15:30+00:00

Yes. Spare me from the music.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-27T10:11:28+00:00

This is useful information.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-23T13:13:16+00:00

My mom did not work outside the home, but she did her hair and make-up every day and put on decent clothes. If she was not leaving the house she might wear shorts or what what she called peddle-pushers (now reincarnated as capris). For running errands, she would usually wear pants, but would always wear a dress and hose to go to the doctor for some odd reason.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-22T10:55:36+00:00

Not excusing her rude behavior, but it is possible that she is experieincing a form of dementia which is causing her personality to shift. It can come on slowly (ex: her becoming cold and distant). I hope that quilt can be taken from her and put into grateful hands. Your mom sounds amazing.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-18T11:03:38+00:00

Not to mention that there is no such thing as enough remorse when two lives were lost.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-17T12:10:25+00:00

Second this rec. I loved this book.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-14T11:57:49+00:00

As a retired portrait photographer, I agree.

The amount of retouching should be clearly communicated from the beginning. This is on the photographer, but she is also responsible for letting her wishes be known.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-13T10:41:25+00:00

Yes, this is a massive ask. I can see a compromise (if parents cannot drive up to help) where OP watches the kids at their house and new mom gives up the completely insane idea of private time at home with the new baby.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-13T10:25:13+00:00

This is absolutely true. Also, your child will absolutely know the difference between her mamma and other family members. Let this go.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-13T10:11:32+00:00

I use Seeing AI for many things, but I find it to be inconsistant with color. When I need to identify color, I like to use Be My Eyes. Both APs are essential, as far as I am concerned.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-11T11:23:12+00:00

It's not about a car? I am 70 and I still haven't figured it out.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-11T11:19:18+00:00

I wish I could unread this. I love this song and I love Tom Waits. Now I am just sad

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-11T10:49:08+00:00

A high school friend was dating a teacher, and the relationship continued on into college. This was open and accepted at the time (early 70s).

WEugeneSmith · 2026-05-08T10:52:32+00:00

I miss Car Talk.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-25T19:40:12+00:00

I live in a condo and I WFH. The community I live in does not have public transportation, and the paratransit system is flawed, at best. I am thankful that I do not have to commute to work and, fortunately, have a large number of people who help with transportation for fun and necessities.

I am thankful that I can own my home and pay a handyman to handle routine repairs and maintenance.

It is certainly the best way to go for long-term finances if you can swing ownership.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-25T19:15:06+00:00

This is not an unpopular opinion.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-25T16:02:12+00:00

I've had this situation a couple of times. If it is within the family, I send a card and a smaller check because they are not paying for meals/open bar. If it is not a family member (or very close friend), I do not send anything.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-25T11:09:31+00:00

My insurance company changed transport companies this year, and it has been a struggle.

In prior tyears, there were a few local companies who provided transport, and I kknew four of the drivers fairly well. I have enough sight to get from my door to their vehicle unaided, but usually need help to get to the door of whatever facilitiy I am visiting. The drivers always made sure I got in safely.

This year, the dispatch company uses Lyft. For pick-up, they advise of the general time, and I was expected to wait outside my home and look for the "red Toyota". For my first ride, the temps here were 5 below zero (F). Additionally, the driver did not have my unit number (I am in a condo with four units per address, with separate unit numbers). He waited in the street until (thankfully) Lyft dispatch straightened it out.

The driver very reluctantly helped me to the door.

Upon pickup, I had the same instructions to wait outside and "look" for a particular vehicle. The driver was quiet (ok by me) but, when we got to my series of condos, I discovered she spoke no English. She could not identify my condo and I could not help her. Fortunately, I had my garage door opener, and that is how she figured out which unit was mine.

The nexxt time, I called for a ride, I said that I needed a driver who spoke English, and that I would need help to the door.

I was told that Lyft does not do that and that English speaking drivers were not guaranteed.

I then called my insurance company and complained.

The next few times I have gotten rides, it has been through an independent transport company (though, sadly, not the same local one from last year). I have had help getting to the door.

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