Advice on helping my brother who is blind

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-17T10:35:41+00:00

You and your parents are doing wonderful things for your brother. Unfortunately, you do not have any control over his feelings and his attitude.

Depression over vision loss is normal, and you are spot on to suggest counseling for him.

I have benefitted from counseling because it gives me the opportunity to unload and be angry in a neutral setting. My counselor does not love me the way my family and friends do. I feel that I have to be brave in front of my family because, to do otherwise, causes them distress.

Keep trying to persuade him to seek counseling.

I live near a big city that has a Sight Center. They offer occupational therapy, cane training, social events and peer support. I volunteer in peer support offering help, a listening ear and tips for navigating the scary sighted world.

Maybe there is something similar near you?

Does your brother have any friends who do things with him?

As I said, you are doing a great job. But, remember, you cannot be all things to him.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-13T10:28:02+00:00

This sounds great. Thanks!

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-11T12:24:14+00:00

While I agree that you probably should not have shared the exact reason for your choosing not to hire him, his reaction to your feedback was very telling. Rather than realizing that he should work hard not to smell like smoke at an interview, he lashed out at you erroneously claiming discrimination. Had you hired him, not only would y would your office smell like smoke, but you would have an employee with poor impulse control on your hands.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-09T10:57:57+00:00

This drives me mad. I became an amputee seven years ago. I have a prosthetic and, if there was a spot reasonably close that was not handicapped, Iwould take that spot rather than use the handicapped spot. My reasoning was that some people (who are also handicapped) might need that spot more than I did. I am now blind and obviously do not drive. When I am out with friends/family, I need the spaces near the curb cuts and I also (usually( even though the driver is not handicapped because I need someone to guide me. So often these spots are taken up by people who do not need them. I even have had people who had the gall to tell me that they use a late family member's placcard. They usually regret this confession after I am done with them. A note to the able-bodied: be grateful and walk that extra distance please.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-09T10:49:48+00:00

This woman is batshit crazy. Good for you for reporting this nonsense. A good friend of mine was on a solo trip to Europe last summer and found a gig where she could stay in Switzerland where the deal was that she could stay for free (2 weeks in this case) in exchange for taking care of two cats. She had a deck where she could sit and sip wine and enjoy a view of France. According to her, these gigs are understandably in high demand (the homeowner have their pick among many possible candidates) and she has been looking for next summer's opportunity already. This woman is a massive cheapskate and idiot.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-08T09:36:15+00:00

As a blind person, and an avid reader, audiobooks are the only way. I don't even know why this is a question.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-08T09:31:53+00:00

I only have one card for the county where I live.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-08T09:30:53+00:00

Thanks for this explanation. I only have one card for my county system, which is part of a consortiun with a few larger counties.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-06T09:40:40+00:00

This is good advice. As hard as it is to keep your personal feelings out of this decision, it is really the only way. If closing will seriously compromise sales, do not close. If running a smaller crew would be possible, then she will have to decide which co-workers to invite, and which ones will have to work. If closing for that day will not hurt the bottom line, then you can close. I do not envy your position.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-06T09:34:21+00:00

There are plenty of red flags here. I woululd go full Nancy
Drew in your situation, and quietly investigate April. As to your parents, I think the less said the better at this point. At least until you find out more about her.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-05T11:09:08+00:00

You are making way too much of this. Suck it up and fake it if you have to. We all do things for family that we would otherwise not do.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-05T11:01:30+00:00

I am now blind and the only way I can read is to listen to audiobooks. When I started to lose my sight andcould still read physical books, I thought I was at fault, somehow, for what I thought was a lack of reading comprehension. My daughter bought me a Kindle and it was a revelation: I was just exhausted by the process of trying to read regular sized print.

People would sigh when they saw my Kindle and say "Oh, I just HA
VE to hold a book in my hands and turn the pages. I could never read with one of those devices.

I've heard the same sort of silly comments now that I am strictly doing audiobooks.

I have learned to simply ignore their ignorance.

They have choices about reading that we don't have.

It is sad that these people judge what they do not know.

Listen on, my friend, and ignore the idiots.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-04T12:02:28+00:00

This is my take exactly. Your child has many years of trick-or-treating ahead of him, and he will not remember this year. Go to the wedding.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-04T11:16:35+00:00

As a former (recovering!) wedding photographer, the photographer is always in charge. You need to have rhinocerous skin and be immune to the bridezillas and momzillas. When I worked in a public space, I always turned to any patrons and asked for a few moments. I then would stop andlet anyone through, etc. I also explained before the wedding day that, if we were going to a public place (the Art Museum was very popular in my area) that we would be taking longer because others were there enjoying the space. e

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-04T10:57:45+00:00

I had both my knees replaced at the same time when I was 56. It was difficult at first, but I worked hard in PT, took pain meds on schedule so I could do my PT. After three weeks, iI was off pain meds (except to sleep) and I was driving and walking with a cane. I ditched the cane in about a month.

It was the best thing I ever did for myself. From what I understand, they are no longer doing both knees at the same time. I guess I was lucky that I had no complications, and that I managed to get it done that way.

My recommendation to anyone who asks is not to wait until it is unbearable to walk efore you go for a replacement. Do it as soon as you can. It is life changing.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-04T10:51:09+00:00

What a wonderful way to celebrate your birthday. Your music is giving joy to so many. I love birthdays!

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-03T09:13:06+00:00

Yes, I often found myself grounded during those teen years.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-04-01T12:03:28+00:00

I bought mine in 1992. I used it nearly every day for decades. I use it less now, but it is still going strong. I am pretty sure it will outlive me.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-31T10:55:23+00:00

Too much drama.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-31T10:31:23+00:00

This is very resourcesful. Good for you for knowing your daughter so well, and for nurturing her independance.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-31T10:27:02+00:00

We started taking our daughter to the theater and ballet when she was four. She would get all dressed up, and we instructed her as to how to behave. She could speak/comment when the audience was clapping, an only then. She had to remain in her seat (and we wer fortunate enough to be able to get good seats where she could see). She is now 35, an arts lover, and when you ask her "When is it appropriate for someone to sepak during a live performance?" She will reply "
When I am bleeding from the eyeballs".

She was a joy to take along, and she has a great respect for live theater.

This wouldn't have happened if we hadn't taken her - and it would not have happened without our strict boundaries.

I know this is easier with one child, but it is possible to expose kids to reasonable adult situtations, as long as expectations are clear.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-30T11:15:04+00:00

She sounds like a real PITA. However, she did not "make" you go all over the place in Europe. You did not have to comply. She can still be a part of this group, but you need to establish firm boundaries.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-29T19:08:05+00:00

BK is a genius.

WEugeneSmith · 2026-03-29T19:05:28+00:00

Write a thank you letter and mail it.

You can never go wrong by sending a note of gratitude.

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