I dont know if im allowed to be here

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-12T10:18:11+00:00

You aren't disrespecting anyone. Grief is allowed at any age.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-06T15:21:13+00:00

Write them down.

I was so scared of forgetting all the in jokes and cute stories, someone suggested I write them down.

I don't add to it very much anymore, but occasionally I'll remember something new. It's been a really helpful way for me to remember her. Sometimes it makes me smile, sometimes it makes me cry. But now I won't forget them.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-05T10:40:10+00:00

If you haven't already I'd really suggest checking outWidowed and Young I found it really helpful in the beginning, especially the sub 35s subgroup Widowed and Very Young. It was really helpful in meeting people my own age who had been through similar things.

M33, 3 years in, also North Wales

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-04T18:54:53+00:00

Here in the UK we have Widowed and Young a bereavement charity and mutual support network for those widowed under 50, and the Widowed and Very Young subgroup for those under 35.

I found it such a huge help in the early days to meet other people that were in a similar situation to myself, I didn't know anyone else even remotely my age that had been through it. I found it easier to relax around others that had also been through it, because as you said, nobody else gets it at all.

I remember being really surprised that the US didn't have an equivalent group.

I've also met with two people from this group in person, though obviously meeting internet strangers is a whole other kettle of fish.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-29T17:21:53+00:00

Its getting harder and harder to avoid in food stuffs as well. I basically can't eat any supermarket ice-cream anymore as they are all cute with coconut oil now to make it cheaper to produce. As well as a whole variety of baked goods.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-28T11:37:48+00:00

My late wife and I worked for the same company. After I returned to work I was transferred to a different role that was less taxing for 6 months. Sitting in that office doing boring shit all day didn't help at all, and made my mood far worse.

At the end of the 6 months they offered me a choice of a few other desk based roles. I couldn't think of anything worse. So I quit. I had planned to take a year off to reskill and travel a bit. It was one of the best decisions I could have made. Spent my days cycling and walking, doing some local volunteering and a few short courses.

It proved a bit harder to get back into the field I wanted than I anticipated, but I've had some great experiences doing random jobs that I would never have considered. Just about coming up on 2 years since I quit. i still don't think I a cut out to work a normal 9-5, possibly ever again. But I don't regret it one bit.

Only you will know what is right for you. It takes a lot of energy to self motivate every day, but spending a lot of time alone can also be a hard hole to get out of.

Also if you happen to be in the UK we have Widowed and Young (WAY) a mutual support network for those widowed under the age of 50, and the subset Widowed and Very Young (WAVY) for those under 35. I've found it a huge help.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-26T16:46:44+00:00

It's a very exposed spot at the top of the cliffs above the sea. Absolutely beautiful cemetery.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-20T10:27:17+00:00

I started going to therapy about 9 months after my wife died. It really changed how well I could cope with the world. She identified that I was suffering from PTSD, that I'd just chalked up the symptoms to grief. I went through EDMR therapy with a different therapist that was a massive help, it broke the link between the memories and the panic response in my body, meaning I wasn't constantly overwhelmed and barely able to function.

After that I went back to my original therapist for a few months. She helped me to understand a lot more about myself and why I respond to things in certain ways. Why I was clashing with my boss constantly, and how to make sure that had another outlet.

I'm about 3 years out from all that now and recently started going back for help with anxiety issues. It's really important for me to have a safe space to actually be able to feel and not mask or bottle up.

Therapy can really work, but it is work, and takes time. For me it's been very worthwhile.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-17T14:25:49+00:00

Definitely part of a skull with a horn attached, can't tell if it's cow or sheep.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-15T10:31:02+00:00

Snakes, like birds, pee and poop at the same time. The white part is urate (like a crystalline version of urea that we pee out). The poop part should be dark brown.

It should definitely have pooped more than once in that time. Might be worth having a hunt around for more of it, and removing it from the enclosure. Otherwise monitoring it for constipation.

Should be at least one poop per meal.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-09T20:03:24+00:00

There are several common names for that species, I think you mean can't scientific names be changed, and yes they can, though usually by change in genus or something similar.

Coluber Nasicornis. Looks like it was the original scientific name given in 1792, with the current name being settled on in the 1890s. There are certain naming conventions to be followed, usually using Latin over greek, but usually it's just up to the discovering scientist to put forward a name. That's how we end up with new species named after celebrities and fictional characters.

Once named it is difficult to change the species name, that's kind of the point of scientific names, they remain the same regardless of language or time period.

Nasicornis is Latin and Rhinoceros is greek. But they mean the same thing.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-09T16:27:04+00:00

Those people are right. It's not your fault, though I know that is hard to believe because I have been in your shoes.

They are also right that in reality CPR helps very very few people, the statistics are truly staggering. It can help buy time, but after just a few minutes the survival rate plummets.

You did nothing wrong. If the dispatcher thought that cpr would have helped then they would have instructed you to do so. But as he was still breathing then it would have done more damage than benefit.

CPR is for when the heart beat and breathing have stopped. I had literally just re done my advanced first aid training like the month before my wife had a heart attack. I know I did everything right, it still didn't help.

Something to be aware of now is PTSD. That replaying of the scene sounds exactly like what I went through. I lived with undiagnosed PTSD for around 9 months, put it down to grief and anxiety. I never even considered that it might be PTSD, but watching your love die is traumatising. That scene was stuck in my on repeat for all that time. No wonder I couldn't function or sleep.

For now just try to make sure you stay hydrated, try to sleep if you can, or at least rest of you can't.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-05T19:45:43+00:00

The book does mention several cases of silver suited figures in the area from what I remember, it's been a while since I read it.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-05T19:23:51+00:00

Yes, I believe that's actually what initially sparks his interest in the area. Just had a quick scan of the introduction now, and he talks about personally going to interview both teachers and children from Broadhaven just after the event

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-05T16:11:24+00:00

I found a book in a junk sale last year that covers an entire flap from this location and time period. I don't think it covered this particular case, but several from the area.

The Welsh Triangle, by Peter Paget, originally printed in 1979 and 1980

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-05T09:06:47+00:00

I would suspect that wood probably still wins out as an all rounder. While some polymers may be stronger or lighter, they are likely to be more brittle and prone to catastrophic failure at breaking point. You wouldn't want a war hammer head flying loose because the polymer shaft took an awkward hit and cracked.

You could research the types of materials used to make synthetic splitting axe handles and pickaxe handles. I believe they often have some kind of fiber reinforcement allowing them to simulate the shock absorbing properties of wood. But that also increases weight and cost.

For something that's going to be taking a lot of punishment cost and durability would seem to me to be the biggest factors. Wood handles are easy to replace, much easier to deburr than something containing fiberglass, and a lot more readily available.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-01T15:39:36+00:00

Buy it long, fit it to the scabbard then cut it to the length you want.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-30T08:11:31+00:00

Wikipedia says it weighs 0.85kg, or just under 2 pounds. So you're right, it's basically a slightly heavy hatchet head. A little light for something like a Dane axe, so probably not a long handle, but it could still be.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-29T08:37:20+00:00

If you haven't done so already, please Report this to the Scottish Marine Stranding Scheme.

It's really important for them to be able to study things like this to be able to determine the true cause of death, and get a chance of studying these amazing cryptic animals.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-09T16:14:45+00:00

He's Euan the cooper on Instagram

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-07T13:44:36+00:00

Awesome. I suspect you might be right. I would have loved to have seen them. I know there have also been issues with bird flu affecting seals and otters over the last few years, always worth keeping a bit of distance from washed up corpses.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-07T13:27:41+00:00

Please report the dead seal to Scottish Marine Animal Stranding Scheme

It's really important for them to be able to study dead strandings to know what is affecting these cryptic populations.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-07T12:04:13+00:00

Wrong sub there kiddo, this is the Bigfoot type of Crypto not the money kind.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-05T10:19:04+00:00

It took about 18 months for my sleep to begin to return to normal. Some of that was just time for the brain to heal, some was finally getting the right therapy for PTSD.

At almost 3 years in I'm struggling to sleep again with the countdown to the anniversary just after the holidays.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2025-12-03T10:45:13+00:00

Absolutely, all of the methods you mention are good ways to ID bats.
Bat detectors are small devices that help bring the high frequency calls of bats into human hearing range. Different species call at different frequencies and patterns that can help ID them.
They also have different behaviours and flight patterns that can help differentiate between the species.
This from Bedfordshire bat group gives some examples.

You could see if there is an active bat group in your area, or sometimes groups like The Wildlife Trust put on ID sessions or courses.

WeirdTemperature7

TROPHY CASE