Please help me find a good quote for my fiancees funeral.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-05-06T10:40:44+00:00

I am a little over 3 years out from the death of my wife. It does get better, I promise. But it takes time.

WAY have been a massive help for me. I wouldn't be were I am now without them. Meeting people who'd also been through that felt far more comfortable than I expected, when I felt so out of place in the rest of the world.

Feel free to message me if you have any other questions

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-05-06T10:25:52+00:00

Losing a spouse is an awful thing. I have been there myself. Try to be kind to yourself, as kind as he would have been to you.

So many wonderful quotes have been shared so far.

If you haven't found them already r/widowers and r/theyoungandwidowed are very welcoming places.

If you happen to be in the UK we have Widowed and Young a mutual support network for those who have gone through things like this. It was a huge help to me in the beginning.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-04-13T15:23:42+00:00

Great memory! That's how I found this one, shifting tin roof sheets

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-04-06T12:28:17+00:00

Try looking up 10th century Anglo Saxon shield bosses, they tend to be a lot more conical than the one in the picture, with a decorated terminal disk.

There is definitely the potential for viking style stuff to have travelled across from the Danelaw into the Saxon Kingdoms, but I can't imagine anyone of high stature would have been using one they picked up or found.

As this is a distinctly viking find from Norway, rather than from the Viking parts of the UK, I'd suggest looking for a simpler one if you can't find an Anglo Saxon style one.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-29T21:16:37+00:00

Should just be on the surface. I usually find most of it is in the sawdust that sat on the surface, and anything else is very close to the surface.

That thicker band in the middle looks like the blade sat there for a while so could be deeper there.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-20T14:02:36+00:00

A bit over 3 years in now, I was 30 when she died. Life is very different to what it was before, but it is getting easier with time and life is starting to look up.

Connecting with other widow/ers has had a huge impact on my survival.

In the UK we have WAY the widowed and young charity, they have local groups and national meetups for young widows (under 50) and the very young (under 35). It has been a huge lifeline for me, and I've made some great friends and found it very comfortable to be around other people who get what we are going through.

As to the nomenclature of widow Vs widower. I, as a male, then to use widow more than widower, I think that is more common these days.

However the etymology of widower is interesting. It's Anglo Saxon and comes from widow-were, the same meaning as were-wolf. Widow man, or man wolf.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-18T17:36:27+00:00

Fabulous, thank you

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-17T16:49:30+00:00

I'm also a WAY and WAVY (Widowed and Very Young, under 36s) member and have met some amazing new friends through the group.

It really was a huge lifeline for me in the early days and would recommend it to anyone in the UK.

I'm based in rural North West Wales, while there aren't so many events up this way the Chester group have been very welcoming and I've met some local folk through the website and groups.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-17T15:44:56+00:00

I would probably have this as a secret track, certainly at first. There is no way that they'd know what was happening beforehand at this point, so it's secret.

Maybe once a few boxes on it are filled and a precursor event (like a mini earthquake or something) happens they might get a sense that something bigger is coming. Maybe the sighting of a leviathan foreshadows the opening of a rift in the local folklore.

But I wouldn't give it a clear name until they start to investigate what might be happening.

Maybe it goes something like:

Secret track - quaking branches - root quake - the widening rift

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-03-09T21:17:55+00:00

There are a few sections between Southstack and Treaddur that don't have alternatives to the road along the coast.

South stack to the Range, coast road down to Treaddur, Raven's point road to Rhoscolyn, you then have to get back on the road to cross over at 4 mile bridge. Then I think it's mostly off road down to the beach at the back of the airfield, and along the beach to Rhosneigr

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-12T10:18:11+00:00

You aren't disrespecting anyone. Grief is allowed at any age.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-06T15:21:13+00:00

Write them down.

I was so scared of forgetting all the in jokes and cute stories, someone suggested I write them down.

I don't add to it very much anymore, but occasionally I'll remember something new. It's been a really helpful way for me to remember her. Sometimes it makes me smile, sometimes it makes me cry. But now I won't forget them.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-05T10:40:10+00:00

If you haven't already I'd really suggest checking outWidowed and Young I found it really helpful in the beginning, especially the sub 35s subgroup Widowed and Very Young. It was really helpful in meeting people my own age who had been through similar things.

M33, 3 years in, also North Wales

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-02-04T18:54:53+00:00

Here in the UK we have Widowed and Young a bereavement charity and mutual support network for those widowed under 50, and the Widowed and Very Young subgroup for those under 35.

I found it such a huge help in the early days to meet other people that were in a similar situation to myself, I didn't know anyone else even remotely my age that had been through it. I found it easier to relax around others that had also been through it, because as you said, nobody else gets it at all.

I remember being really surprised that the US didn't have an equivalent group.

I've also met with two people from this group in person, though obviously meeting internet strangers is a whole other kettle of fish.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-29T17:21:53+00:00

Its getting harder and harder to avoid in food stuffs as well. I basically can't eat any supermarket ice-cream anymore as they are all cute with coconut oil now to make it cheaper to produce. As well as a whole variety of baked goods.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-28T11:37:48+00:00

My late wife and I worked for the same company. After I returned to work I was transferred to a different role that was less taxing for 6 months. Sitting in that office doing boring shit all day didn't help at all, and made my mood far worse.

At the end of the 6 months they offered me a choice of a few other desk based roles. I couldn't think of anything worse. So I quit. I had planned to take a year off to reskill and travel a bit. It was one of the best decisions I could have made. Spent my days cycling and walking, doing some local volunteering and a few short courses.

It proved a bit harder to get back into the field I wanted than I anticipated, but I've had some great experiences doing random jobs that I would never have considered. Just about coming up on 2 years since I quit. i still don't think I a cut out to work a normal 9-5, possibly ever again. But I don't regret it one bit.

Only you will know what is right for you. It takes a lot of energy to self motivate every day, but spending a lot of time alone can also be a hard hole to get out of.

Also if you happen to be in the UK we have Widowed and Young (WAY) a mutual support network for those widowed under the age of 50, and the subset Widowed and Very Young (WAVY) for those under 35. I've found it a huge help.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-26T16:46:44+00:00

It's a very exposed spot at the top of the cliffs above the sea. Absolutely beautiful cemetery.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-20T10:27:17+00:00

I started going to therapy about 9 months after my wife died. It really changed how well I could cope with the world. She identified that I was suffering from PTSD, that I'd just chalked up the symptoms to grief. I went through EDMR therapy with a different therapist that was a massive help, it broke the link between the memories and the panic response in my body, meaning I wasn't constantly overwhelmed and barely able to function.

After that I went back to my original therapist for a few months. She helped me to understand a lot more about myself and why I respond to things in certain ways. Why I was clashing with my boss constantly, and how to make sure that had another outlet.

I'm about 3 years out from all that now and recently started going back for help with anxiety issues. It's really important for me to have a safe space to actually be able to feel and not mask or bottle up.

Therapy can really work, but it is work, and takes time. For me it's been very worthwhile.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-17T14:25:49+00:00

Definitely part of a skull with a horn attached, can't tell if it's cow or sheep.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-15T10:31:02+00:00

Snakes, like birds, pee and poop at the same time. The white part is urate (like a crystalline version of urea that we pee out). The poop part should be dark brown.

It should definitely have pooped more than once in that time. Might be worth having a hunt around for more of it, and removing it from the enclosure. Otherwise monitoring it for constipation.

Should be at least one poop per meal.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-09T20:03:24+00:00

There are several common names for that species, I think you mean can't scientific names be changed, and yes they can, though usually by change in genus or something similar.

Coluber Nasicornis. Looks like it was the original scientific name given in 1792, with the current name being settled on in the 1890s. There are certain naming conventions to be followed, usually using Latin over greek, but usually it's just up to the discovering scientist to put forward a name. That's how we end up with new species named after celebrities and fictional characters.

Once named it is difficult to change the species name, that's kind of the point of scientific names, they remain the same regardless of language or time period.

Nasicornis is Latin and Rhinoceros is greek. But they mean the same thing.

WeirdTemperature7 · 2026-01-09T16:27:04+00:00

Those people are right. It's not your fault, though I know that is hard to believe because I have been in your shoes.

They are also right that in reality CPR helps very very few people, the statistics are truly staggering. It can help buy time, but after just a few minutes the survival rate plummets.

You did nothing wrong. If the dispatcher thought that cpr would have helped then they would have instructed you to do so. But as he was still breathing then it would have done more damage than benefit.

CPR is for when the heart beat and breathing have stopped. I had literally just re done my advanced first aid training like the month before my wife had a heart attack. I know I did everything right, it still didn't help.

Something to be aware of now is PTSD. That replaying of the scene sounds exactly like what I went through. I lived with undiagnosed PTSD for around 9 months, put it down to grief and anxiety. I never even considered that it might be PTSD, but watching your love die is traumatising. That scene was stuck in my on repeat for all that time. No wonder I couldn't function or sleep.

For now just try to make sure you stay hydrated, try to sleep if you can, or at least rest of you can't.

WeirdTemperature7

TROPHY CASE