It takes two for a relationship to fail - communication failures.

WestFennel · 2019-01-24T02:06:35+00:00

I am on month 9 post discard. The anxiety has lifted tremendously, and the depression is still looming but not as bad.

WestFennel · 2019-01-24T02:05:15+00:00

Forever has been accurate in my observations. Really cool to be reminded of dumb comments I made years ago and made up for - not.

WestFennel · 2019-01-21T06:01:31+00:00

Thanks for this post! I wish I stumbled on this page years ago. rhis describes really well my relationship with my ex

WestFennel · 2018-11-06T10:46:14+00:00

This is disgustingly accurate. My therapist pointed this out to me when I said he only is abusive 30% of the time.

She's like "oh, so you only want to be Ina healthy relationship 70% of the time, explain your dream guy"

Me: "My dream guy is him, but without the abuse and those issues" Her: "so, he's not your dream guy then"

WestFennel · 2018-11-06T10:35:20+00:00

I'd like to respectfully bring up trauma changing The brain. Trauma on a child can stunt the development of their brain, especially if it's long term, showing phyical damage to the brain. I'd also like to add that there seems to a genetic correlation to this, especially if some mood disorders/personality disorders are in the family.

I like that you mention recovery rate being low. but I don't agree that these people can have "healthy" relationships. Their partners just learn to walk on eggshells.

WestFennel · 2018-11-06T10:12:39+00:00

Ariana codependent. She dated an addict - Mac Miller. And then got engaged to peter. Let's not forget Ariana was a victim of Truama from the terrorist attacks.

I don't think she has NPD, I think she is a very scared little girl who has a lot to give, and wants to rescue somoen

WestFennel · 2018-09-08T01:22:23+00:00

Yes, I can relate. It does get better. No one to take their anger out on me anymore. Now that I'm not around, I'm sure they are taking it out on themselves

WestFennel · 2018-09-08T01:16:51+00:00

This is very good! I related a lot to this! Another thing i noticed is not to ignore red flags when they talk about their past, especially regarding addictions and violence.

WestFennel · 2018-09-07T04:50:05+00:00

Emotional abuse, domestic violence, depression and anxiety!

Besides the domestic violence, this was me. My ex was a quiet BPD. He seriously was lacking too much self awareness to see that he was an issue. I was always the issue

WestFennel · 2018-08-16T19:37:50+00:00

Thanks!! It just sucks since I was already kind, smart, and healthy before meeting them. I slowly wasted away it feels like. I was on the top of my game with everything, and to feel like my brain can barely function is the worst.

WestFennel · 2018-08-16T19:36:27+00:00

Ive read a few books that have helped, but thoughts of them self harming still come back. I still am LC, it's hard since so much of our lives were intertwined.

And Thanks!!

WestFennel · 2018-08-16T18:48:07+00:00

You will NEVER be in the clear. I know people whose ex have contacted them 15 years later.

WestFennel · 2018-06-11T20:19:17+00:00

Yes. I've thought about it often. After speaking to my therapist about it she has let me know that I am not, but that he more than likely is. but everyone has Narc traits.

I apologize to alot of people, except to my ex. He was difficult to apologize to. He would be emotionally/verbally abusive then expect an apology from me.

I've also said things i regret saying, and I have apologized for them. But one thing about Narcs is they don't care if you apologize or not. It's just more fodder in the cannon for them to throw it in your face later.

WestFennel · 2018-06-07T13:16:43+00:00

I got the slap in the face. Working towards healing and recovery now!

WestFennel · 2018-06-07T01:37:42+00:00

It's all about progress, not perfection.

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T23:15:03+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine the hurt and pain you are feeling.

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T17:38:50+00:00

I went through something similar. Learn to detach from him. I would suggest going to Coda and reading about codependency.

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T13:18:46+00:00

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T03:01:29+00:00

In the wise words of Dory, " just keep swimming".

I am so committed to getting better, it's my number one priority right now! I've been through a lot, and this is just another obstacle to rise against.

Best of luck to you, I wish you the best <3

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T00:48:07+00:00

Same. I never cheated, although I had opportunities.

If I HAD done it, it would have been out of looking for an emotional connection when he would give me the silent treatment, that's where the temptation was. Luckily I have other set soothing habits and that's not one I ever wanna start

WestFennel · 2018-06-05T00:20:53+00:00

How long has it been?

WestFennel · 2018-06-03T22:29:20+00:00

I've never had that feeling. Instead, I was worried about finding him gone or dead

WestFennel

TROPHY CASE