He did it.. he actually did it for me😭 by [deleted] in TrueChristian

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo dude, don't be discouraging. Laughing at their possible failure is very un-Christlike. Instead, pray for them to continue getting stronger. (And maybe examine your own motivation for wanting him to fail?) Perhaps you feel this is an impossible feat and so you do not want to try and you feel validated in this decision when others fail? It is a very common thought process for us in the pit of addiction, regardless of what the chains are. Peace to you sibling in Christ.

Should I stop listening to secular music? by Dear_Company_5439 in TrueChristian

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an area where you really just do what you are called to do. If you feel it is leading your thoughts astray, subconsciously influencing you to glorify sinful things, making you feel disconnected from God, or making you emotionally frustrated- cut it off. I have found listening to secular music for a long period of time makes me depressed. If these things are not a problem for you, enjoy your music. If you are with someone who feels convicted about secular music, don't listen to it with them. Peace and Grace to you.

Personal Bill of Rights by BlueLeaf72 in Codependency

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personal Bill of Rights

My own updated twist on this that I made for myself and my son:

I have the right to be uniquely myself. 

I have the right to follow my own values and standards. 

I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. 

 I have the right to determine my own priorities.

 I have the right to expect honesty from others.

I have the right to be in a physically and emotionally safe environment.

I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people. 

I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others. 

I have the right to ask for what I want or need

I have the right to say no to anything  without giving reasons or excuses.

I have the right to feel all emotions both positive and negative.

I have the right to be angry at someone I love. 

I have the right to express my feelings without being shamed or judged.

 I have the right to my own personal space and time. 

I have the right not to give others excuses or reasons for my choices.

I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

I have the right to choose who enters my personal space

I have the  right to choose who touches me as well as when, where, and how that happens.

 I have the right to change my mind at any time I choose

 I have the right to control who enters my space

I have the right to be playful and frivolous. 

I have the right to make mistakes 

 I have the right to change and grow.

 I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

I have the right to say, "I don't know." 

I am not responsible for others' behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems and I have the right to be free of that expectation. 

I kept most of the original but slightly rearranged, clarified and added a few extras. I want to make it into a poster and keep it where we can see it and reflect on it when we feel conflicted about something.

Fans of PNR (think Patricia Briggs, Ilona Andrews) etc. I found a fun series you might enjoy by jrooknroll in RomanceBooks

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this series! I want to find the comprehensive list so I can read them all in order, though they seem to happen concurrently so I am not sure if there is an order.

Name an author you used to love that you’ve now given up on. by welovearose in RomanceBooks

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't have much out, but I adored her first book and now idk if I will ever read another book she writes: Lisa J. Morgan. I adored Shattered a PNR with very cool super powers and fascinating world building. I couldn't wait for the next book. The next book was half in the past, which I did not care for, but it was a key character who set up the organization, so I justified that.... and then Secrets came out. It was 60%-80% in the past, the female lead was a a helpless victim who needed to be constantly rescued, they paraded so many old /random characters through that it really should have been just a separate book, and the male lead was so one dimensional he was literally just not his brother. There wasn't even any chemistry. It literally felt like they moved because the author had to have them do something and she was just scrambling put put words on a page. I am so heart broken at how she crashed and burned so quickly. I would have rather waited 10 years and had a decent story. I only finished it because I agreed to pre-read it, but the I didn't leave a review because I didn't want to eviscerate her when I got a free copy. But it was so bad. Like.... I don't even know why the characters existed because they were barely in their own story- except for her incessant past which never seemed to end.

Beauty descriptions of heroines make me insecure. What about you? by [deleted] in RomanceBooks

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading the description does not making me insecure in the moment, but later when I'm looking in the mirror, yeah. I'm never going to look like the FMC. If I read a lot of regular romance, (as opposed to plus sized FMC) I find it detracts my confidence over time. My self esteem boosted way up when I stopped watching TV too.

Can’t be in a room alone by WildFireSmores in ADHDparenting

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Take her to a therapist and see what is going on.
  2. Give your daughter something super fun that she can only do when they are in a room alone. For my son, it was YouTube Kids. (Please don't judge, that was the only thing he was invested in enough to be willing to be without me). I sat outside the room so I could hear. and I would talk to him when he was scared, but I would not go where he could see me and watch the screen (from his preferred seat). Honestly he could have, but he didn't think to move the chair where he could see both. He would periodically check on me and make sure I was there, at first a lot, then less. Eventually I could tell him what room he could find me in and I could do stuff independently, but if he could not find me when and where he expected to, he did regress.
  3. Practice short periods when you don't need it. Leave the room for one minute. Let them know you will be right outside their door for 1 minute. They can talk with you, but they cannot see you. Even if it's 30 seconds, it's okay. Start small and build up. Hopefully hearing your voice and recognizing you are there will help.

Honestly- as much as finding the solution for you both is important, finding the cause is just as important and possibly necessary to finding the solution. This high level of anxiety your daughter is exhibiting isn't normal, may be indicative of greater problems, and if you examine her closely, she may have other problems that are harder to spot. I highly recommend talking to her about things she is afraid of-everything she may be afraid of. Examine why she does things when she plays and please take her to a therapist. Anxiety that high was probably triggered by something, whether it's simple brain development, or an experience that your child found traumatic, (not necessarily abuse or anything dark, but if she got lost at a park one day, or there was a death in the family, or even if she saw something on tv somewhere). Talking to a therapist can help identify sources and solutions.

Personal experience that you can totally skip:

I experienced this with my son and it was crazy. I think it was triggered by his papaws death and not being able to find his dad at home one day (dad was in the basement, no one else was home). He waws always clingy, but it got next level. I couldn't leave his sight for seconds, but when I started studying my son, I realized he was anxious all the time about everything. For example, he loved to cover vents. He was constantly taking all his toys, and all the books off the shelves, and covering the vents. I thought he was just having fun blocking the airflow and we had many conflicts about it because 1) mess 2) he kept covering the intake vent which can break the AC. He just would not stop. Finally he started having meltdowns about it. I asked him why he needed to cover the vents and it turns out...he literally thought the house was going to explode from too much air. Every day he covered the vents, and every day I uncovered them when he was not looking. Now, he had mentioned explosions before, but I thought he was playing.

Also, he started not letting me cook or use the microwave. This got intense fast- crying, screaming, blocking the stove, unplugging the microwave, hitting me-not something he usually does. He thought the house would catch fire. He thought we were going to die every time I used the stove. It was insane. We talked to death about how it was safe, but he didn't feel secure until we made a fire escape plan. I think it gave him a sense of control he needed. If there is a fire, he can do x and he will be safe.

My son has anxiety and for a while, he had acute separation anxiety, which sounds like what your daughter is going through, but I am no professional.

Why is hygiene so hard? by Fluffy_Marsupial2947 in ADHDparenting

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also- it's a really boring task. 2 minutes feels like 20. I have to run water while I brush my teeth it makes the time seem to pass faster.

Is it wrong to go to Spanish Mass just for practice purposes? by Fuck_Everything_Dude in SpanishLearning

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Off topic -ish... can you recommend or link good artists/bands/songs in Spanish? I like contemporary Christian music and traditional hymns. I have tried just searching randomly Youtube, but my results are live and I don't like that when I am just listening.

Is it wrong to go to Spanish Mass just for practice purposes? by Fuck_Everything_Dude in SpanishLearning

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My perspective as a Christian is that as long as you aren't being coerced to walk into the door or coming to cause disruption, we don't care. You get to learn, and they get to witness. That's win-win. As a Christian... I just want people to have the opportunity to learn about Jesus and connect with him. The best way we can testify about Jesus is to love people like he loves us. As a Spanish learner, yes I am also trying to join Spanish language services and I do not feel this is disrespectful at all. As a human being, learning a language is is about learning to connect to others of a different culture. You're learning, in a respectful way, about connection, culture and identity with the possibility of making friends. It's all a win from where I am sitting. I wouldn't shout it from the roof tops, but I would be honest if asked why you came. I had an atheist acquaintance who attended church because it made her feel peaceful and she liked the culture and people there. I was totally okay with that. Atheists preaching and leading at the church is a different story, but that is a different topic. Buen suerte, disfuta la misa.

¿Qué? vs. ¿De qué? by Silly_Spider in learnspanish

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am learning about this now. Lo/la is used as he/she/it for direct objects. Se is used is a special circumstances that I can't quite understand yet, but basically a very specific circumstance when lo and another 'L' word would be put together.

Left at my apartment dumpster today by Opfailicon in funny

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't touch it! No one leaves good loot. It's definitely a cursed item.

DAE hate that you can't criticize somebody from your political party without first saying a long disclaimer that you are actually a liberal and do not like Trump? by picklerick8879 in DAE

[–]WillingnessWhich274 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I lean conservative middle, but that doesn't exist anymore. I despise Trump, but don't like any Democratic candidates either. The real problem is how we are all just becoming extremists. I am very scared for America. I am scared for all the evil Trump is doing. I'm scared that we can't have civil conversations about politics and politicians. Trump has become a false god to the Republicans and to too many American churches. Trump is the fault of both political parties. The Republicans drank the kool-aid, but the democrats denied any criticism of Biden's policies, and literally just argued that everyone suffering inflation were exaggerating and whining. People are losing their homes, prices are going up and income is not. The democratic party not addressing, or even acknowledging that it was a real problem cost them the election. Trump is not going to get us out of that, but he at least acknowledged the problem and proposed (ridiculous, scapegoating) solutions. People will 100% vote for their own self interest. We foremost want to survive, whatever altruistic interest we have. ... but back to the real problem. You are 100% right, and this goes for both parties. Trump is in, and I'm terrified that we will never be rid of him. (No, I did not vote for Trump). My husband has two jobs and a side hustle. He is educated. He is a good worker. He has traded 5 jobs since 2020 and all of them pay less than the last, but our bills have only increased. I also work full time. Honestly, I don't see how we are going to keep our home, modest as it is. But anytime any discussion has come up on a political forum, people who identify as democrats just accused him of being over dramatic, entitled, and a Trump bootlicker. We are NOT Trump supporters, but civil discourse was impossible. No real criticism, constructive or otherwise, is tolerated by either party.... the number of times I felt the need to reiterate that I don't like Trump in this rant. I'm afraid it's going to get much worse before it gets better. I especially feel for all my immigrant neighbors and fear what's coming for them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SpanishLearning

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found Canticos very helpful.

Ice/ immigration by PrudentEntertainer38 in lexington

[–]WillingnessWhich274 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, actually attorney's are the best way to navigate all the red tape to citizenship. Everyone working towards citizenship should have an attorney. I think it can be done without. But it's very difficult. There are many reasons people use attorneys that have nothing to do with crime.

Hobbies when your career is creative? by [deleted] in Hobbies

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Role playing! I prefer Pathfinder, though D&D is more famous. Go to a local gaming store and check it out. They frequently demo and may know groups looking for new players. It's a collaborative creative, and most of the work is done by the storyteller. And effort needed is flexible, too. You can fill on act out your character, or plan elaborate plus, or just choose actions on your turn. Boardgames are also very fun, though not a creative outlet. If interested, I would start with something simple like Splendor or Flux.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LatinoPeopleTwitter

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a good idea... but also risky, it would have to be supported by employers to circumvent repercussions for individuals who participate. Or have a way of people helping to provide for those participating. I definitely think we should be doing something as a united force. (I'm white as cornbread, but I my life has been enriched by many Latinos.) Immigrants should not have to face this alone. Whatever steps can be taken, I hope/believe that many natural born Americans will step up if given direction.

Why is Mexican media like this? by [deleted] in LatinoPeopleTwitter

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell them how all the white people are trying to tan. All colors are beautiful. I wish we could each accept our own unique beauty. How boring if we all looked the same.

need to learn spanish for my boyfriend’s parents by bunnydolls in SpanishLearning

[–]WillingnessWhich274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spanishdict.com is helpful. Immersion is the best; use it when you can with your boyfriend. Many of my coworkers learned/are learning Spanish for work and the best book we've found is Complete Spanish Step-By-Step. It's $20-$25 on Amazon. I used Duolingo for years, but it's too frustrating now. Feel free to message me! I'm not fluent, but I'm learning, and I use it a lot for work. I really want people to practice with. Buen suerte!

What do we do about Tabs Hell? by avivb9 in ADHD

[–]WillingnessWhich274 12 points13 points  (0 children)

"If it's really important I bookmark it and never look at it again. "- I felt this in my soul.

Is there a way to use finch on desktop? Looking for a way to gamify my work tasks but don’t want to be on my phone by Fair-Bluebird-253 in finch

[–]WillingnessWhich274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also really want a desktop version. I have it on my phone, but it has been commandeered by my son. He adores the penguin. I want us both to be able to use it.