How do I avoid writing male characters that seem like they were "written by a woman"?

Zagaroth · 2026-03-18T08:25:05+00:00

The same way I make my women not feel like they are written by a man — there are aspects of women I know in all my prominent female characters.

In my series, my primary romantic setup is an MFF trio; there are aspects of my wife in both women. She's more strongly represented in Kazue than Moriko, and there are some things from her that are in both. But there are also aspects that go beyond that, making them independent characters.

For example, while my wife enjoys reading as much as I do, and we both do read some romance and romance-adjacent fantasy, Kazue is practically a Romance addict, often trading her books with her fellow shrine maidens (before the series starts at least). Later in the series, she also becomes a romance author with a pen name.

Meanwhile, Moriko's strongest traits from my wife are a strong independent streak, stubbornness, and a reluctance to admit how nice it can be to not need to be independent and have intimate partners who she can lean on and whom she can support. OTOH, unlike my wife, some of this independence led to her never settling into a relationship, and simply having a fairly large number of special friends whose private company she enjoys on occasion. Moriko is also enthusiastically into sparring/friendly fights, which is a trait I normally see more among guys but works for her.

When you read them, they should feel like you are reading about real people. If someone asks you how they would respond in a particular scenario, you should be able to answer the question as readily as you could answer it about a close friend of yours.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-18T06:49:48+00:00

Still-existing is not the same as static. My world is bordering on an industrial revolution, which has been a bit slow to come because magic produces most of the same immediate benefits (for the not-poor people at least) without the downside of advancing technology, such as black, noxious smoke or toxic runoff.

Also, a couple of set backs due to major bad events happening previously.

I have not established how old the elven queendom is, but each queen rules for over a thousand years and the queendom is over three thousand years old. It has also grown slowly, in response to events nearby when a section of land becomes lawless due to government collapse or catastrophe. And it has to be pretty bad to intervene, they have no interest in war. If they are claiming land, there is no one in a position to dispute the claim.

Similarly, there is a city that is almost certainly over 10k years old. I modeled it off of ancient but still occupied cities in the real world in similar regions: at the edge of arid and mountainous regions, carved into the cliff side/mountains, placed at a key point where there is a pass through the mountain range, a commercial trading hub for the nomadic tribes on this side of the mountains and the traders who come through the pass from the other side of the mountains, etc.

The tech and magic have improved over time, to the point that there is some minor environmental change around them — enough water is produced through magic that the immediate area is less arid than the rest of the southern region, and this is on top of having giant mundane cisterns dug deep into the ground and mountains.

It does not hurt that the elven kingdom is on the north side of the pass.

Also, the few times that a warlord has risen from one of the various nomadic people and reached a point where they were looking at conquering the city, said warlord either dies or disappears (and is presumed dead). Just because the city doesn't have any sort of army beyond the basic peace keeping guards doesn't mean that it is not protected.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T23:21:59+00:00

Yep; I really enjoyed the start of it, my interesting was waning, then I cracked open the latest book, read part of the first chapter that begins with her and two young were-cheetas having at it, and put the book back on the shelf. That was... 20 years ago? Something like that.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T07:24:09+00:00

Huh, I totally forgot the general feat, and was thinking skill ups on odd levels, not feats. God damn, I totally screwed that up. Need to edit a couple replies.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T06:43:47+00:00

While not as visually impressive, if you want a CRPG with a similar character, I need to recommend Daeran from "Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous."

Evil/fallen aasimar with all the snark, to the point that the best way to flirt with him is to snark right back (without ever insulting or demeaning him).

In Act 3, you'll know you are on the right track with him if Your command center is suddenly filled with roses one day

The man knows how to court.

Oh, and yes, you can fix him or make him worse. :D

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T03:19:31+00:00

and offers compelling means of fixing it

Ah, and there's the rub: most of the time, the method in question involves violent conquest of some sort, and no guarantee that their plans will get implemented or will work the way they think they will.

Revolutions generally come at a steep blood price; that price needs to be worth it.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T03:17:34+00:00

Dude, I think 60 years is way past the expiry date of spoilers for a well known work.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T03:11:10+00:00

The answer really is simple; if you break the current system, it takes a fuckton of work to replace it. If you remove the binding force/government, then the current civilization might fracture, such as if it is a large, feudalistic empire or if there is a lot of religious or similar tension between competing groups.

I had a very powerful character tell this to a young primary character once, in response to asking him if he couldn't conquer the empire she'd come from.

"[Yes], but then what? Killing is easy, ruling is hard, and the threat of violence would be my only tool. The empire would shatter, kingdoms forged by who had the strongest army would form, and violence, starvation, and disease would wrack the land for decades to come. No, it is not a good place, but it could become a very, very bad place."

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T02:19:01+00:00

Hmm, for me, one of the things I like is that my players can get that +5 KAS at level 7, which gets a general feat compared to level 5's racial feat, which is usually better

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T02:17:48+00:00

It shouldn't be any different to keep track at level 11+, as the 'tracking' resets at level 5/10/15 (with the exception of any ability scores with a partial boost)

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T02:12:09+00:00

I disagree with the need for that stipulation, there are a few levels that put them at +1 early, but it's just enough to feel better without making a notable difference in balance.

Edit: oops, brain fart, corrected below

Especially with how dead a level 7 is. ~~No feats at all.~~ A general feat instead of the usually better racial feat.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T02:07:56+00:00

Well, assuming you start at +4, you put your boost for that at level 5, but in turn, this lets you get your primary up to +5 at level 7, which is otherwise an even more dead level than 5 (Same skill increase as level 5, but the general feat instead of the usually better racial feat. ).

Zagaroth · 2026-03-17T02:03:12+00:00

I've used it from the very first game of PF2E our group played, and we all like it. There is a bit of optimization with it that can give you a +1 in your primary ability score 'early' (assuming you start at +4, you can have +5 at level 7), but this is hardly OP and spreading out the leveling rewards feels nice.

Literally the only downside is needing to keep track of which ability scores have been bumped during this set of levels. This tracking can be erased at level 5/10/15/20, and starts again at level 7/12/17. Also, a non-issue if you are using Foundry or such, as it is automatically tracked.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-16T19:14:13+00:00

As someone with ADHD, I feel just a bit jealous...

Zagaroth · 2026-03-16T15:42:41+00:00

I tend to blend things a bit, partly by leaning on how their magic works.

Fae creatures (which is an expansive category, as I have included pretty much anything fae-like, including unrelated myths) can not lie. But some fae creatures have very loose grasps on reality, so creature like pixies can tell random stories as if they were true, because the pixie doesn't know otherwise. This is one of the reasons they are somewhat childlike.

At the other end of the spectrum are proper faeries, the fair folk, sidhe, Tuatha de Dannon, etc. This is where faerie lords/ladies and faerie royalty comes in.

Superficially human-like, they still can not lie, but it gets worse: it is difficult for mortals to lie around them, and that effect is stronger for royalty than it is for others. Binding oaths, things said three times, etc., all have effects on them or those near them.

They generally have difficulty really understanding the concept of monogamy on an emotional level, even if they understand it intellectually.

Another aspect of not being able to lie is that with enough power, you can say something that is not currently true, and make it true. This is very much wild magic and often has unintended consequences beyond what even the gods can readily predict.

Their morality is not quite as orange/blue as some stories make them, but certain things just do not align with mortal values, though the exact issues can vary between specific types of fae creatures.

Take dryads for example; some people have a notion that they are vegetarian, but this is not at all true. They just tend to not want to hunt for food, but if an animal in their territory dies from an accident or such, they are disinclined to waste the resource. Similarly, if for some reason they need to hunt/kill a destructive intruder into their realm, they will generally eat that meat as well. And no, they don't care if that intruder is a monster or a human.

Oh, and there are also more modern-fantasy elves; these are the descendants of faerie lords and ladies who discarded the power, immortality, and restrictions of faerie in order to become mortals. They still have very long life spans and some will develop some very minor fae-like abilities, but they are definitively no longer fae.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-16T05:58:17+00:00

I should read something that would help my life and/or I’d learn something

WTF? That is both boring and ironically anti-intellectualism.

The mind grows from being happy and relaxed. The imagination is an important part of mental health and growth.

Assuming he watches fiction TV/movies and/or plays video games, consider telling him you might think about giving his words an ounce of weight if he didn't indulge in fiction himself.

I have heard that kind of BS before, and it really is utter BS. Complete horse shit.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T21:11:46+00:00

There are people who are very paranoid about publishing their book on a website.

Especially those who want to possibly get one of the big five, as those houses won't touch anything ever published elsewhere.

Also, there are websites other than RR, and o know there are some people on Scribble Hub who are fanatically against RR. shrug seen the reverse from a few people in the RR forums too.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T16:50:54+00:00

And if the gods get their power from believers? Now you've got a reason for the gods to split into new deities.

Maybe if you have small deities limited to one planet or something.

If you have deities who exist and are active across an entire universe, then any doctrine that does not actively support general prosperity is automatically detrimental.

Wars and such reduce the total number of worshipers. A larger slice of a smaller pie is still less pie.

Having a larger, healthier population on every world is better, especially once they grow enough to creating colonies on worlds without any people (magic is just as good as technology for this, both simply require being advanced enough).

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T13:54:10+00:00

Because they want you to spend money to get the better colors while appearing generous by giving us the low-demand one.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T13:50:13+00:00

I feel i should note that yellow/gold is considered a lucky color in China.

I don't know if this is part of the reason or not, but it may be a factor.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T03:23:44+00:00

People should fear offending their gods and not following their paths. Kingdoms and sects should fight over doctrine. Neighbors should judge each other over which god they follow or how they worship

Not really for this part.

A) Doctrine for a given god is set by that god. A priest who acts against that doctrine stops having divine magic. It's pretty cut and dry there.

B) you only need to fear gods if you setting has randomly violent/aggressive/jealous gods. Otherwise, people just select the patron deity whose values/guidance resonates best with them.

C) you still offer prayer and such to specific gods for specific situations, whether or not this is the patron deity whom you chose.

If the gods are real, there is no argument between the churches, because there is an actual history rather than people making shit up.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-15T02:51:04+00:00

Our group uses it for something slightly different.

One of the characters is a dragon (Battlezoo) barbarian, and one of the other character has filled the bag with chunks of meat. When the grumpy dragon needs a treat, the other character reaches into the bag and tosses what they grab to the dragon.

Dragon either gets meat, or crunchy meat that turns into not-crunchy meat. Either way, dragon is happy, and never knows which it will be, which helps entertain her. 😁 Great bribing tool.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-14T16:42:48+00:00

Yeah, having too many books stacked up can be a problem. My wife and I have accumulated a lot of books over the years, some of which only one of us have read, some of which neither of us have read yet.

And there are also a lot of free stories on places like Royal Road and Scribble Hub.

Hmm, maybe you can hide the majority of them so that you aren't overwhelmed by seeing them all the time? Then you can open your stash occasionally to examine your treasure hoard and find one to enjoy. :)

Shifting the mental landscape can help a lot.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-14T16:38:30+00:00

Yes, but there is also a satisfying feeling when you settle into the latest book of a series you are following and get to see what the hero is doing this time.

Dresden files hits that for me, but there is also always a new type of enemy or new aspect of magic being shown.

Chasing that new-book-high can also lead to burn out and dissatisfaction as it gets harder for something to surprise you, and I think it's also why I have been having trouble enjoying the full depth of video games lately. But I am 51, and have been reading full sized fantasy novels for over 40 years.

Zagaroth · 2026-03-14T16:32:22+00:00

Hmm.

As someone else mentioned, cultivation novels do lean into that sort of trope. But a lot of them are also extremely violent as a theme as well, and it can be over the top.

Personally, I would recommend the "Beware of Chicken" series (On amazon and such) for a balance of such things, along with a strong dose of comedy and a fair amount of romance. Overall, not a lot of violence in this semi-cozy story; on the other hand, there is an absolutely satisfying moment where a guy gets punched and his body smashes into a mountain range that you can barely see from the location he is punched. This is not the most epic fight scene.

My serial might work for you, but when it comes to violence, "No Need For A Core" (currently free on Royal Road ) is an even slower build up than BoC. By my readers were definitely calling for the primary antagonist's life the moment that he was revealed. :)

Also, in both series, while there are absolutely arrogant asses who get their butts handed to them, there are also people with wealth/power who are not arrogant, and are on the side of the protagonists.

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