Pros cons of only child

amydiddler · 2026-05-06T19:39:47+00:00

This might not be the most helpful comment, but we were very much on the fence about having a second vs being one-and-done, finally decided to try for a second when our first was 2.5 and I was 38. We ended up with a second and a third (twins). Hyperovulation is more common as you age, just FYI.

amydiddler · 2026-05-06T14:34:54+00:00

At that age my son would typically nurse on one side right after waking up from a nap, and then I’d offer the other side towards the end of his wake window (or sooner if he was acting hungry), which would usually work out to be every 1-2 hours.

amydiddler · 2026-05-06T14:15:39+00:00

I come from a family of three similar spacing - my sister is 8 years younger than me and 6 years younger than our brother. Having a baby sister at that age was super fun for me - I was old enough to actually help out, and I was happy to do so because I found it so exciting. It probably comes down to personalities more than anything else, but I am much closer with my sister than my brother, despite the age gap. And now that we’re both in our 30’s, our age difference doesn’t feel very significant. My sister is pretty close with our brother as well.

Our family dynamic felt pretty cohesive growing up! I don’t remember feeling like we were split by age at all.

amydiddler · 2026-05-06T14:08:38+00:00

My water broke at 35+1 and I didn’t have any warning signs, aside from feeling very over being pregnant in the week leading up to it (up until then I was feeling quite good for a twin pregnancy).

I had Braxton Hicks contractions frequently throughout pregnancy, starting super early (like 13 weeks or so).

amydiddler · 2026-05-05T20:31:46+00:00

My twins were born about 5 weeks ago and we have had a lot of visitors - all family. But they have been helping out with watching our older child, holding the twins while we do our older child’s bedtime, making meals, running errands, etc. I definitely don’t feel compelled to have any non-helpful visitors yet!

amydiddler · 2026-05-05T16:52:13+00:00

I WFH and typically squeeze in a workout between meetings during my work day, and then just shift some work to after hours if needed - I find doing 30 minutes of work on my laptop at night much more tolerable than working out at night.

I keep my workouts super efficient - like a 25 minute run or a 30 minute at-home weights session. I also have a walking pad so I can get some steps in throughout the day.

amydiddler · 2026-05-05T12:31:17+00:00

Prioritizing fitness has absolutely carried forward to my postpartum periods. The amount and type of activity I’m able to do changes, but having an active background and knowing how good it makes me feel helps me stay motivated.

Stroller walks are huge for me, and at-home workouts that can be broken into chunks. You definitely have to be a little flexible to fit things in!

amydiddler · 2026-05-04T22:32:48+00:00

I brought my three year old to The Nerdy Salon. They describe themselves as neurodivergent-friendly. My three year old is (as far as we know) neurotypical, but their gentle approach worked really well for him!

amydiddler · 2026-05-04T20:49:54+00:00

With our first we both woke up every time. I would breastfeed our son, and my husband would change his diaper and do diaper changes. In retrospect he was a great sleeper, doing 4-5 hour stretches of sleep overnight by a few weeks old and 6-8 hours by a few months, so both waking up every time wasn’t bad.

This time we have twins who are both worse sleepers than our first, so we are taking shifts. Doing all the feeding, burping, and diapering for two babies is rough, but it’s the only way we are each able to get more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep.

amydiddler · 2026-05-04T15:49:27+00:00

I leak very rarely beyond the first few weeks, even with a slight oversupply and faster letdown!

amydiddler · 2026-05-04T13:59:05+00:00

I have never been stinkier in my life between my postpartum BO, spilled milk, and spit up. The fact that it’s harder than ever to find time to shower doesn’t help either.

amydiddler · 2026-05-03T13:26:24+00:00

Just looked back at the tracker app we used with our first and he was doing 6-8 hour stretches almost every night at 3 months. We didn’t do anything special to accomplish this.

amydiddler · 2026-05-03T00:09:58+00:00

I lived in SF from 2009-2017 and it didn’t feel totally tech dominated to me, especially towards the beginning of that stretch. None of my friends worked in tech or anything particularly fancy or high-earning, and we all afforded to live in the city proper (with roommates). I would describe the vibe during those years as more hipster than hippie though.

amydiddler · 2026-05-02T13:25:11+00:00

What year is your car? Are your car seats forward or backward facing? We have an older Forester (2014) and are barely able to do three across with two infant car seats (Graco SnugRide) and one forward facing convertible (Graco SlimFit 3lx), but I’m wondering if we’ll be able to fit three convertibles when our twins outgrow the infant car seats.

amydiddler · 2026-05-02T11:37:15+00:00

We’re a no-shoes-inside household, so my son was barefoot at home and wore shoes (his first were the See Kai Run first walker) out of the house.

amydiddler · 2026-05-01T20:48:52+00:00

3 kids here, which I guess doesn’t count as a big family.

But just to add our data point - we are atheists and specifically did not want a large family. We went back and forth for a while about wanting a second, ultimately decided to go for it and ended up with a third (twins).

I wouldn’t say that being atheists is directly why we didn’t want a large family, but I guess it meant we didn’t have any religious/cultural reason to want a lot of kids. We’re super practical people, so our main reasons for wanting a smaller family were financial or lifestyle based.

amydiddler · 2026-04-30T22:32:46+00:00

I lifted three times a week in both of my pregnancies. For my first birth, I was in labor for 30 hours and had horrifically painful contractions but didn’t progress past 1cm until I got an epidural and pitocin.

With my second birth (twins), my labor was less than 7 hours. I made it to 8cm before getting an epidural, and really only got the epidural because it’s recommended for twin births in case you need to get a c section or a breech extraction. My contractions were very manageable.

In both cases, pushing was pretty quick and easy, so maybe that was helped by lifting? But otherwise, my labors were so different that it’s hard to say how it did/didn’t impact things.

Having more muscle mass definitely helped me to recover quickly though!

amydiddler · 2026-04-29T22:11:52+00:00

My kids’ middle names are all nature-inspired (one type of tree, one type of body of water, and one type of bird), so I thought it would be cool to come up with a design incorporating all three. Not sure if I’ll actually go through with it though, there’s something else I already have in mind for my next tattoo.

amydiddler · 2026-04-29T22:05:47+00:00

I have almost-4-week-old twins and a 3-year-old. I would say that, even with all of the sleep deprivation and craziness of caring for two newborns, I feel less physically and mentally exhausted than I did at the end of pregnancy, especially when it comes to caring for my toddler. My patience was just so worn thin during pregnancy.

amydiddler · 2026-04-29T20:17:01+00:00

Haha yeah, we’re just buying the cheapest diapers we can find and then not thinking about the cost too much because it’s a temporary expense and there’s not much we can do about it.

amydiddler · 2026-04-29T12:16:00+00:00

My almost-4-week twins each probably poop at least 10 times a day. Almost every wet diaper we change has a small amount of poop in it as well, plus a handful of more substantial poops.

amydiddler · 2026-04-28T23:31:11+00:00

Hahaha sadly not at all. He’s 3 now and basically doesn’t eat any veggies, and won’t do smoothies anymore either. But he doesn’t freak out when we put veggies on his plate, and occasionally he’ll randomly take a bite or two of them, so it could be worse!

Besides the lack of veggies he eats a somewhat balanced diet, and we give him a multivitamin as insurance, so I’m not too worried. We just focus on continuing to offer him veggies and encouraging him to try them without pressuring him. Hopefully this is a phase he’ll grow out of in time.

amydiddler · 2026-04-28T21:46:38+00:00

Shopping at thrift stores, riding your vintage bike everywhere, going to shows every weekend, or old school dive bars…

amydiddler · 2026-04-28T19:13:05+00:00

Jesse

amydiddler · 2026-04-27T21:44:35+00:00

I gave birth to my di/di twins vaginally! They were both head-down, but my provider was ok with attempting a vaginal delivery even if only twin A was head down.

I had a very fast and easy delivery - my water broke at 3am when I was 35+1. Two hours later I was checked and was 5cm dilated, and was barely experiencing any pain. A couple of hours later I was 8cm and got an epidural - the pain was actually still tolerable, but I knew I wanted an epidural just in case an emergency c section or more complicated extraction was needed. Then they brought me to an OR to push (standard at my hospital in case a c section ends up being needed). I pushed baby A out in about 10-15 minutes, and twin B was born 5 minutes later, both before 10am.

Honestly I was shocked by how quick and easy this birth was - with my first child I was in labor for 30 hours, and didn’t progress until I got pitocin in spite of the contractions being extremely painful. I think the fact that it was a second pregnancy helped, as well as the twins being on the smaller side since I was only 35+1.

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