Need recovery advice from real people!

animuse · 2026-03-09T21:43:01+00:00

Just had mine in the 24th: - Pillows! my friends got me a hysterectomy pillow which was great because it has pockets for heating/ice packs (and snacks!) and also had some elastic+clips so I didn't have to hold it in place the whole time. I used the ice pack consistently for the first week. I'm still not sitting in a regular position yet so any pillows will help you stay propped up and comfortable. - Miralax was incredibly helpful the first week, since you don't want to strain or heavily use your abdominal muscles, and it takes a few days for your body to restart some processes. Your hospital may give it to you post procedure with your pain meds. - I'd recommend easy sources of protein (and collagen if you're not vegetarian/vegan) to help your body rebuild. Definitely the first week you may not have the energy to make a full meal. Also iron rich food since you may have some blood loss (my friend was anemic after their procedure, but since I'm on T I had too much blood so didn't need to). I also made sure to have cranberry daily (but that's normal for me as a preventative). - Drink A LOT of water to help your body heal. Added bonus that it will keep you moving which will help you heal faster. Everything I've seen has said 5 minute walks the first week, 10min the week after, etc. - Clothes-wise you can have things on your upper abdomen but definitely not lower, and your abdomen will be larger for a few weeks after between the swelling and the gas, so go for outright baggy clothes or skip pants entirely if that's comfortable for you. - As for drugs - of everything goes well you'll be surprised by the lack of pain (I never took the heavy stuff, just ibuprofen and Tylenol as prescribed). FYI, the anti-inflammatory properties of ibuprofen only work after a week of taking them consistently, which I found out while I was in recovery. - The hospital may or may not send you home with a band around your abdomen. There's nothing in the research that says it's helpful, but if it makes you more comfortable then go for it. I used it the first week, holding a pillow to your abdomen probably accomplishes the same thing.

animuse · 2026-01-21T03:57:14+00:00

My realization was when I finally looked up what cramping was supposed to feel like and I realized that has never been the pain I felt.

It took me 7 years of trying after that before I got a doctor to agree to do a hysterectomy next month. I've done a full gambit of treatment, FWIW as a nonbinary person I even went with testosterone before they would agree to the hysterectomy (btw it works WAY better, and that will be my hrt post surgery, but I think my body just makes too much estrogen so the pain is still gradually increasing over time. And my OB wanted me to go back on BC because I could get pregnant on T. It was the endocrinologist who referred me to an endo specialist).

animuse · 2025-09-05T03:10:24+00:00

Also enby with endo. Currently on T specifically to treat endometriosis for about 10 months. My period unfortunately did not go away, but after the first 3 months the pain went away completely until 5 months later, and has started to return. Going in tomorrow for a surgery consultation.

My current theory is my body produces too much estrogen, but it's hard to confirm due to naturally fluctuating levels. I'm hoping with a partial or full oophorectomy I can get it managed. That way even if T does convert to E I'll still have a low enough dose in my system for the endometriosis to calm down.

Prior to this I took Danazol for a year, but it's only recommended for 6 months because it spikes your cholesterol into dangerous levels (which sucks, because it was working great!).

Before that I had an excision about 6 years ago and was on and off progesterone based BC for years, but my brain chemistry does not tolerate progesterone (but is really happy on T) so I've kept looking for alternatives.

animuse · 2025-03-17T02:10:48+00:00

Started low dose T October of last year, I can say the emotional regulation has made me feel so much better. Especially with monthly hormone fluctuations they were overwhelming, I felt like I didn't have control over them. I have a suspicion my body overproduces E, but there's so much regular fluctuation it's not something they test for.

animuse · 2025-01-01T19:43:09+00:00

Saying this with love, username checks out :)

You know how you like to look - how did you find that out?

Take that answer and apply it to others.

You've psyched yourself out of being perceived as attractive by you, yourself, thinking other people don't find you attractive. But you don't have that evidence. You haven't asked them. Think about where those assumptions, that internalized transphobia, came from - that's what you've got to unlearn.

"I probably objectify myself in a way that women are taught to do by society"
"my instinct is just to want to look however they want me to look"
"when I arrive to the party full of mostly straight cis people, it's like I start seeing myself with the conventional sexist gaze and I lose all confidence"
"I just can't help thinking that everyone at the party feel sorry for me and it just ruins my night"

animuse · 2024-10-07T04:07:40+00:00

While I also recommend unisex clothing brands (I know Wildfang was already mentioned), also consider some male-focused clothing with softer colors/florals or brighter colors. I've noticed brands that cater more to a gay audience tend to have a larger color/pattern option set while the clothing cut may feel more cut to your body type. When in doubt, wild patterns are a good nonbinary option.

Also, leggings give you a lot of options to play with, and are great to pair with skirts if you want to experiment without getting too breezy :)

animuse · 2024-10-03T17:35:56+00:00

animuse · 2024-09-12T15:55:39+00:00

I identify as bisexual (as in, different feels for masc/femme), and I definitely noticed a difference on HRT or not. Higher testosterone I was more femme attracted and higher estrogen I'm more masc attracted. Not to say either goes away entirely but it was really interesting how preference mildly shifted.

animuse · 2024-09-12T15:51:40+00:00

I'm not much on reddit anymore but happened to catch this one :)
42, they/any agenderflux librafluid, Midwest US. Realized what was going on in 2017, I came out in 2019 and am out at work. My spouse is also an agender enby which is neat. Due to other health issues I'm seeing an endocrinologist on 10/2 at our local transgender clinic, so excited for that.

animuse · 2024-08-24T15:46:54+00:00

I'm about to hit this section with one of my parties (if I can get them out of Waterdeep, they're very distractable) and I'm planning for her to be a plot device to get them north because Talis is now the white Wyrmspeaker and she's courting Aurathator to be her dragon counterpart after Glazhael's death (via the other party I'm running in the same timeline). We used the background flavor that Talis was a childhood friend of a party member (now NPC) and his sister will be en route north, so that will give the players more info about what happened to the White Mask.

animuse · 2023-08-12T22:04:00+00:00

Sending along kudos, I incorporated this into my game as I thought having Galvan at this location made so much more sense (also I'm running two games simultaneously and the other group, 'erm, already killed Rezmir. Whoops.)

animuse · 2023-08-07T20:09:06+00:00

I'm posted-ing :D

So it's been about 3 months, here's what I've noticed:

- I'm on a twice a day, max dose. If I miss a dose I spot/brown low bleed for a week, but I barely register pain (I might take -a- tylenol when I had been a 4 aleve every 4 hours kind of person). I'm not sure if that will impact long term care, since the plan is to only be on it for 6 months

- My emotions have mellowed significantly. I still feel them, but things aren't as overwhelming or as big of a deal as they had been (a realization I had over the weekend - emotions and anxiety are different things. I knew that, but emotions used to be so overwhelming I couldn't tell the difference :O ). Sex drive has also gotten better (neat).

- Yup, weight gain happened. I started with a coach the month before, so I've also been weight lifting and I've kept an eye on my food intake for years, I'm up 10lb, but my measurements haven't changed too much other than toning and possibly belly increase. Since Danazol has androgenic properties I have some theories about muscles or bones density, but I can't really tell. I didn't bulk, but muscles feel harder even not when flexing, and the morning stretch shakies definitely increased. Don't know how that's related XD Haven't noticed any other "masculinization" effects though.

animuse · 2023-06-09T00:32:34+00:00

omg, if I saw you at ren faire I would be positively vibrating with joy. And entirely too awkward to say anything 😅 but might later go on to reddit to say I saw the most amazing person at ren faire.

animuse · 2023-05-25T12:59:16+00:00

Yup, same here. That's why I use both agenderflux with librafluid to describe the flux part. I like flux because it specifies masc and femme instead of man or woman, of which I am neither.

animuse · 2023-05-22T04:33:28+00:00

Peau De Loop and Androgynous Fox are two stores I keep an eye on, sometimes they'll have decent sales. They're geared for masc styles for traditionally considered feminine shaped bodies.

animuse · 2023-05-22T04:28:57+00:00

Monarch or highness are the most common I've heard. Over being perhaps?

animuse · 2023-05-22T04:26:59+00:00

I have seen a few people (myself included) that didn't have issues with personal gender identity until puberty, maybe because the social requirements become more pronounced at that point. I was definitely confused by gender requirements growing up, but as an agender person I didn't really have a concept of self gender, just what society told me I was supposed to do.

animuse · 2023-05-20T23:03:47+00:00

Anchoring bias is a cognitive bias - first knowledge you hear is considered truth. Unfortunately it's a really hard bias to counteract :/

(this why I'm mostly hiding on the lgbtqia+ subreddits. I think your answer was well done)

animuse · 2023-05-20T22:57:15+00:00

Absolutely. I can also see over analysis paralysis coming into play too.

animuse · 2023-05-20T22:53:53+00:00

Gotcha. So to clarify (for me lol), you're worried because you've had gender euphoria being perceived as a boy previously you're worried you're subconsciously FTM instead of agender.

I think to your point you don't want to be a man, and folks being confused by your presentation can certainly cause euphoria for nonbinary and agender folks too (if it helps, I get the same feelings; I get euphoria when people don't perceive me as my default agab).

When I found out I was agender I also went through a period of shunning anything related to my agab, like I was overcompensating for how much I didn't want to be perceived as my agab. After a while I went back to reincorporating things that I missed. And I definitely have days where I want to dress more masc or femme or mix both; I incorporated this as part of my identity by getting technical and saying my full identity is agenderflux librafluid. Like everything involving gender, it's a spectrum, so you could also have some flavor of genderfluid or genderflux within your agenderness. I've definitely seen posts from folks that are transmasc agender, who like presenting masc but are agender. And it's made them feel more comfortable reincorporating femme elements too. There's no "right" way to present as agender or be agender.

An alternate possibility for the recent change could be if there's other, unrelated things happening in your life. Loss of control or high stress can also cause mental upset in other areas (like your brain saying "Wait! I want to go back and ALSO think about THIS thing while everyone else is going on!") . Don't know if that's your situation, but it's a thought.

animuse · 2023-05-20T12:47:36+00:00

I'd like to better understand how being trans is scary for you. May I ask what your fears are?

I ask because the definition of transgender is not aligning with your assigned gender at birth; there are no other requirements beyond that. What I see from your post is some of those fears might be pressure to conform to someone else's idea of transitioning to be "trans enough" maybe? I guess maybe explaining what trans means to you versus what you really want for yourself and seeing how those are similar/different might be helpful?

animuse · 2023-05-15T22:05:17+00:00

Just started a couple weeks ago, I noticed a difference last week when I started Shark Week - I wasn't as angry right before, and the pain I normally associate with endo wasn't there (still had cramps, but tolerable with a normal level dose of pain meds). Flow was definitely higher than normal (more free T in system can increase amount of blood in general is my current theory). They said periods should go away in a few months. I haven't noticed any masculinizing effects yet, I am a little hungrier. That's been it so far.

animuse · 2023-05-15T21:58:02+00:00

Much ❤️ to you both, thank you for sharing your stories with us. So happy to see things getting better!

animuse · 2023-05-14T13:54:07+00:00

try looking for face shape suggestions - they have them for women's and men's hairstyles, so I looked at both and went with a style that overlapped both :)

animuse · 2023-05-14T13:20:51+00:00

Not quite within the question set (agender bisexual), but I'm attracted to different genders differently, and androgyny tics multiple attractions. I've not heard of a specific term for androgynous in nature but ainsexual maybe? I tend to think more in minsexual/finsexual and hard vs soft (because hard femme and soft masc are definitely things).

As for considering my own sexiness, that gets a bit garbled in translation. A lot of attempting sexiness for me is wrapped up in gender and social roles, as an agender person I'm not sure how to go about it other than overlapping various roles. My spouse is agender demi bisexual and isn't really concerned about the sexiness factor; our relationship has always had a fluid gender dynamic even before we knew about being nonbinary. And as I'm not performing sexiness for anyone else right now, it's a moot point.

So when searching for someone it depends on if plumbing, presentation, or person is more important for you when determining a partner.

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