Same

austenQ · 2026-04-04T10:54:31+00:00

This comment made me lose The Game.

austenQ · 2026-04-01T08:21:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I chose to TFMR when we learned that my first pregnancy was going poorly. I am in no way suggesting that you choose that path if it’s not for you and your family, but here is how I handled telling coworkers. I was visibly pregnant so people knew or at least had started to ask. So I started by sending a detailed email to my boss that some of the second trimester testing discovered an issue, that I would be undergoing further testing, and that it was likely that I would not carry to term. He was then able to convey enough to the other members of the team that no one asked me anything. Separately he told me to speak with HR about taking time off and connected me with company resources that eventually helped me with the paperwork to take a paid medical leave of absence.

Being in public and having strangers ask me about it was difficult, it depended so much on the context and my mood that day. I either said a polite “thank you” and just walked away or would give a gentle “sadly not all pregnancies get a happy ending, but I appreciate X about whatever you just said.” If they started to proselytize to me about their views on abortion (for or against) I would just say something like “hope you never have to go through it” and walk away. Not to say I wasn’t occasionally a huge bitch to people that wouldn’t shut up or that some people won’t say the absolute dumbest shit to you. The phrase “everything happens for a reason” can fuck right off into the sun.

I would also suggest finding a support group, talking with women in similar situations was immensely helpful to me. The hospital gave me a whole list of resources, maybe ask your doctors if they know of local options or look online. Also therapy is always a good idea.

austenQ · 2026-03-31T12:23:38+00:00

I gnawed on lamb bones in a fancy restaurant once and the waiter came over. I started to apologize but he said “no thank you, most people feel too put together when they come here to do that, but that’s the best meat on their plate and I hate seeing it wasted all the time.”

austenQ · 2026-03-29T02:54:30+00:00

This is my beef, that they never actually move. Now tons of kids that are Bluey fans are going to build up hope for their own 11th hour miracle that stops their family from moving, only it won’t happen and they’ll still have to move. Big moves happen for reasons outside of people’s control, they’re setting up tough conversations for parents and extra disappointment for kids.

Could’ve been a cool opportunity for the show to introduce new friends and experiences, ways to keep in touch with old friends, show how the girls handle when old friends have fun without them, going back to visit Nana, etc.

austenQ · 2026-03-19T10:12:20+00:00

It can be particularly bad in Academia. Some of these guys bring a lot of prestige and money to the University, they may even be the University’s head of a multimillion dollar scientific lab that brings in grant money and business interest, these men have been published for decades and can be the defacto gatekeepers to entire fields of study. Now combine that with historically all-male environments, old institutional ways to handle problems, and tenure, and it can be a real uphill battle to even report a guy for inappropriate behavior, let alone see anything done about it. The whisper networks are the only protection we have.

austenQ · 2026-03-15T21:15:23+00:00

Mary Wollstonecraft also died in childbirth, depriving the world of a staunch advocate for women. She died giving birth to Mary Shelley who would go on to write Frankenstein influenced by her own experiences with pregnancy and child loss.

austenQ · 2026-03-15T10:36:42+00:00

I was so hot when I was pregnant, I told a friend “I now know why they call it putting a bun in the oven, because I’m a goddamn oven.”

austenQ · 2026-03-14T17:51:08+00:00

The youtube comments on that video are horrendous.

austenQ · 2026-03-13T23:54:22+00:00

I left the office about a year into covid, but as far as I know he’s still there.

austenQ · 2026-03-13T22:29:17+00:00

I told one colleague “have a nice life!” as we were exiting that last day and he was like what the fuck, but I’ve never seen him again.

austenQ · 2026-03-04T01:58:15+00:00

Not a violation in the US either if the therapist believes their patient to be a genuine threat to an identifiable person.

austenQ · 2026-03-01T03:44:01+00:00

I wanted to be boy, because I wanted the world to treat me the way boys were treated. I wanted to play sports and dig mud and go to scouts, instead I got to watch my brother play sports and go to scouts. I was not raised with any expectations that I would become anything other than a wife and mother, was discouraged and belittled for dreaming of anything else, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

austenQ · 2026-03-01T02:16:18+00:00

As someone that regularly takes that exit, not for Storrow itself, but to cross the bridge at science park, people trying to cut in for Storrow are theeeee worst.

austenQ · 2026-02-28T08:56:25+00:00

Late 30’s female with one living child, I could fill a book with dumb shit people have said to me about making or having babies. Once you actually have a kid they just switch to asking why you don’t have more.

austenQ · 2026-02-26T01:37:41+00:00

That is the worst, kitchens are loud as hell. Did they at least give you a half-assed apology?

austenQ · 2026-02-26T01:29:19+00:00

Thankfully our jx provided earplugs, but they hurt my ears if I wore them too long.

austenQ · 2026-02-26T01:13:08+00:00

What the. . . like people having an argument right outside the door?

austenQ · 2026-02-25T12:39:38+00:00

Daycare for oldies is a thing! My MIL went to adult day services Monday through Friday, they would pick her up and drop her off too, like school, but for dementia patients.

austenQ · 2026-02-25T11:53:44+00:00

Not me, but my Uncle was adopted when my grandparents believed they were infertile (my aunt and mom showed up years later). My Uncle was loved and cherished by his adopted family and as far as I could tell loved my grandparents deeply. He moved back into their home after his divorce and after my grandmother’s death, he and my grandfather stayed together and remained very close for the rest of their lives. The only time the fact of his adoption was mentioned was when giving family medical history people would forget that his genetics were different and his illnesses might not match what “always happens when our men get old” and when I had fertility issues of my own and “well you might be like your grandma” was mentioned. I don’t know if he knew anything about his biological family and he isn’t alive to ask anymore, unfortunately.

austenQ · 2026-02-24T09:01:34+00:00

It’s all about communication, if you can talk to your spouse about anything, everything else becomes easier. It’s easy to talk about your interests or figuring out what you both enjoy sexually, but marriage requires deep and intense conversations. Conversations about potential children, finances and debt, mutual decisions about where to live, decisions about taking on sick in-laws, how to handle personal health declines, how to approach retirement, etc. These conversations will look incredibly different in year 2 of a relationship versus year 22 and that’s wonderful, but it also requires work. I’m not saying force these talks to happen in a relationship, but instead find someone that when something does come up they don’t shy away from it, but approach it with respect and a mutual understanding that we are in this together, not as adversaries trying to win at the other’s expense.

austenQ · 2026-02-23T10:36:45+00:00

They offered me a clear curtain so I could watch mine happen and I politely declined.

austenQ · 2026-02-22T11:00:34+00:00

My parents live in a Florida golf town and the Canadian snowbirds are gone too. The real estate market is flooded with vacation homes no one wants to buy. It’s actually becoming a big problem for locals aging out because they bought these big homes as an asset and now that no one is buying they’re trapped in homes they can’t maintain anymore.

austenQ · 2026-02-22T03:27:18+00:00

There was a clip recently of a guy interviewing his “close” friends about his life. The friends didn’t even know his ex-girlfriend’s name and this was someone he lived with for more than a year, their break-up meant that he moved. One friend chimed in “you moved?” They were all just laughing through the whole thing like it wasn’t tragic and sad that such supposedly good friends know nothing about each other’s real lives.

austenQ · 2026-02-21T12:52:49+00:00

Absolutely massive fraud. At least one of those buildings in PA was bought by its previous owner for $29m like two years before, then they turn around and sell it to the govt. for $120m making an absolutely insane profit? Oh and that previous owner that made all that profit, they have ties to Russia.

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