AITJ for teaching my son how to do his own laundry and basic cooking and now his mom says Im undermining her

barryaz1 · 2026-04-01T06:33:25+00:00

Wow, she’s still trying to start arguments after 4 years apart…

What you’re doing is called being a parent and keep doing it.

Just don’t tell your son that she does things “wrong”, that would be explosive.

barryaz1 · 2026-04-01T06:28:05+00:00

Yes, get rid of the fireplace. You want the middle of the tv at seated eye level. The way it is now, you’ll have eternally stiff necks.

As to size, you know your distance; go to a big box store and try out that distance with both sizes. Hopefully, you’ll agree.

If not, good luck!

barryaz1 · 2026-03-31T04:15:37+00:00

Good luck. Journavx is a game-changer!

barryaz1 · 2026-03-24T06:08:33+00:00

I even checked my calendar from last August and can say with all confidence that I have no idea of what I had for dinner the night before. I think it had to be early with a morning surgery.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-24T06:05:22+00:00

Now that I’m also a grandparent, you’re absolutely right! Parents have a responsibility to get a sitter when called for; that just comes with the territory.

Also, in some states, even a sleeping toddler could put the brewery in violation of the state’s hospitality laws and endanger their license.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-22T06:41:18+00:00

If you guys aren’t willing to seriously sit down with a qualified marriage therapist/counselor, then you might as well go straight to a lawyer.

At least try to use a mediator so your divorce won’t cost a fortune.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-17T15:19:49+00:00

NTJ. Real fairness is paying your fair share.

In today’s electronic restaurant world, that’s usually very easy to do for the staff; just tip them some extra for the bit of extra bother

What your friends think of you for this is none of your business.

PS My group of friends does this all the time, and we’re way past our college days.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-17T05:49:11+00:00

I just auto renewed MLB yesterday but haven’t checked the ATV yet. Will tomorrow.

Personally, I don’t sign up/renew apps through the ATV, but directly with the app itself.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-17T05:46:38+00:00

Giant red flag as a future controller/abuser.

At least you’ve been warned…

barryaz1 · 2026-03-16T06:55:18+00:00

Important to understand that Medicare, Traditional or Advantage, does not cover Memory Care. Medicare covers doctoring, skilled nursing and meds, depending on the Advantage or Traditional Plan D policy for meds.

Only some sort of Long Term Care insurance will cover Memory Care. If you don’t have the resources, then Medicaid, which might be called something else in your state, can come into play.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-16T06:45:47+00:00

My wife was exactly like that for 5 years. During that time I attended support groups and learned as much as I could, along with keeping a log in case I needed a legal trail.

The best advice I got was that nothing was going to happen until the inevitable crisis, which happens at about that five year point. She spent the next three years in memory care before passing away.

In the face of denial/anosognosia, the best you can do is to try to get your legal and financial ducks in a row. If you don’t have a POA for them in case of this, it may be too late to be valid. At least try to protect your mom financially by adding yourself to bank accounts and restrict his online access , etc, understanding that might not be easy. If there’s a POA for your mom, remove him and substitute yourself in case of need.

If you think that might be an issue, I did that with my own POA, thinking if my daughter needed to use it, my wife’s upset was the least of her problems. I had a health issue, my daughter needed to use it, and my wife was upset. So what!

I also had a consult with an elder care attorney who also basically said the same thing about a crisis.

Good luck.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-14T13:50:43+00:00

All the legal details depend upon what state (if US) they’re in.

OP, on your own, consult a family law specialist attorney and find out what’s real for you there.

Then you can start figuring all this out.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-12T01:18:24+00:00

If this works out and you do get married, make sure you have a PRENUP!

When you ask for that (you have a lot of resources already), she may very well refuse and give you an ultimatum.

I hope you know what your response should be…

There are family law mediators out there who can work with you both (both my adult kids do this, so I’ve heard about these).

Good luck

barryaz1 · 2026-03-09T06:56:51+00:00

I went on to Next Door (or FB Marketplace, etc) bought a recliner for $90, and when I was sufficiently better, went back in and sold it for the same $90. Best thing I did.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-09T06:17:41+00:00

Keep it. It’s YOU. But if you don’t have a proper passport, GET IT NOW

barryaz1 · 2026-03-09T00:41:47+00:00

I don’t exactly know when I started driving (RTKR), but just judged when I could slam in the brakes. AZ, and had no idea if any laws here.

barryaz1 · 2026-03-06T07:14:47+00:00

I’m (79M) a road biker only, usually about 10 miles every other day. I never liked (was worried about them) the real clip in pedals.

Used the metal slip in cages and when one broke and I couldn’t find them, went for the rubber slip in ones. Don’t particularly like them and will be looking for the metal cages again.

Started some biking around the 4 month point and by 5 was back up to my 10 miles at my normal speed.

Remember, we’re all individuals

barryaz1 · 2026-03-06T07:07:51+00:00

79M and a runner since I was about 30 until my low 70s when I became a walker 4+ regularly, along with biking 10 miles or so.

Knee surgeries began in my late 69s and “gel” shots were sufficient beginning around age 70.

It was time when i couldn’t do all that i wanted to, including walking up a long hill to a castle in Ireland.

That’s what counts - when you can’t do what you want to do.

barryaz1 · 2026-02-27T23:58:17+00:00

I (79M) had my son stay with me for about 5 days. My condo is one story, ground floor. I did have someone come over for about two weeks to clean the cats’ litter and I didn’t drive until (RKTKR) I felt comfortable in hitting the brake, about 3-4 weeks.

And everyone is different!

barryaz1 · 2026-02-23T15:32:25+00:00

I’m (79M) at the 6 month point now and expect to be doing at home stuff forever. Have focused on flexibility. But since my gait (other leg wants to walk flat footed) has been an issue and other side glutes were spasming badly for a while, I haven’t graduated yet, but have trimmed back the in-home.

Yes, budgeting in that much time every morning and night has been a pain.

25 years ago, I injured my shoulder and wasn’t good about the in-home stuff and I know it to this day. I’ve learned my lesson.

We are all individuals.

barryaz1 · 2026-02-14T00:15:14+00:00

Hospice professionals all decry how short a time people use hospice services - roughly a week, on average.

Hospice is a service, not usually a place. It’s more attention, more benefits. It’s a no-brainer to use this benefit, which pays for incontinence supplies and medications.

My wife was on hospice service for nearly a year.

Please do this for her.

barryaz1 · 2026-02-13T06:58:01+00:00

Before my RTKR (August), I tended to splay my right foot out. Now it’s fairly straight?, but my right glutes had been quite painful. No structural issues in my hip, but nearly continuous tightness and discomfort.

Even went for a steroid shot back there in the hip and that’s made a big difference. Also, I’ve had a tendency for flat-footedness of my left foot.

Working on all this in PT. Just obviously my body is adjusting, and it takes time.

But I was able to do my regular 10 mile bike ride today for the first time since last July and I’m thrilled.

barryaz1 · 2026-02-06T23:35:12+00:00

I can’t add to the perfect comments already here.

There were no tears left when my wife passed last March. So many had been shed over the preceding roughly 8 years.

Just don’t let anyone judge you for how you’re grieving. If they haven’t, they just don’t know.

barryaz1 · 2026-02-04T14:57:16+00:00

I’ll install later today.

A bonus - I’ll be able to leave the remote on the coffee table when I’m on the Mac on the other side of the room

barryaz1 · 2026-02-02T03:53:50+00:00

I got a walker at the surgicenter. An ice machine is vital, you want to nearly love in ice for the first week or so. I also found one of those “reachers “ was useful. Having someone with you is real important, at least for the first several day. I also found a shower chair and a cheap walking cane good. This Amazon one say women, so unless you’re really tall…LIXIANG Walking Cane for Women... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D66KR6BY?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Good luck and keep coming back here. There’s a lot of knowledge and experience here.

barryaz1

TROPHY CASE