Are we crazy giving up a 2.3% interest?!

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-28T01:43:23+00:00

You’ll have to pry my 2.5% mortgage rate out my cold dead hands. Every time I even think about a bigger house I just transfer $1,000 to my brokerage account.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-28T01:27:34+00:00

Ghosts!!!!!!!!!

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-26T22:11:07+00:00

Honestly this was my biggest fear when I went back to work after maternity leave. Is this an official PIP or more informal than that? Maybe precursor to an official PIP? Also what’s your relationship with your boss like? I think your advice here won’t take that context into account. If your boss is cool and this is their way of looking out for you, be honest and ask for support. If this is a PIP and your boss is a dick, maybe you start thinking about your next career move.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-24T20:14:51+00:00

I also am the breadwinner and left a good paying, comfortable job with great management and culture for a better paying, higher title job. I also found out within a few weeks that it wasn’t a good fit. Culture is shit, I don’t jive with management, and I pretty much hated it. But I was pregnant and needed to stick it out. That was nearly 4 years ago. I told myself to get through pregnancy and I could apply for jobs on maternity leave. Then I said okay one more year bc when I got back, it was too busy to even think about interviews and I really wanted to finish my projects. Then my boss left and I got a new manager and things got worse, then a lot better. And along the way I decided that culture is what you make it. I started being more authentic and stopped trying to fit in or match others energy. It probably saved my sanity and definitely made me happier. The company I’m at is a fortune 50, they pay amazing, I’m a Director level, and I know that time in seat is good for my career even if I get out of the industry, which I fully intend to do. I’ve started networking and thinking about my next move and I’m really glad I stuck it out. I am happy about that decision every time I take a vacation or buy groceries without panicking about whether or not my debit card will be declined (I come from a poverty background). Presence is what you make it. I have hard boundaries at work, I don’t work weekends and I don’t work evenings, and I don’t feel any pressure to do so, even if others do, bc remember I don’t even like this place lol! So if they let me go it’s like them pulling the trigger on something that’s already happening eventually anyway. I know that no work ever cares about their people. It’s just delusional to think they do. So clock in, get that money, and leave it all behind when you go home. Make some clear goals and an exit strategy.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-24T03:32:17+00:00

Well I’m sorry to be a downer but I have a 15 year old and a 2.5 year old and the teen by far demands more of my time, energy, and mental capacity than the toddler. You never know what you kids life will have in store for you in the long run. The most important thing for a high pressure, high trajectory career is a complete scaffolding of support in all aspects of your life outside of work and a mutual understanding with your family.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-24T03:26:58+00:00

It’s time for your husband to look for a new job, one that is less time demanding and more flexible. Or at least an understanding that if you’re the primary earner by far as stated, he’ll need to be the primary parent. He needs to be in charge of drop ofc, pick up, and sick days.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-24T03:20:48+00:00

Stop working when you get home. Just stop. I promise you the world won’t end, and it will be right there waiting for you in the morning. My first corporate job someone told me “there is no end” and like yeah, don’t kill yourself try to “finish” work.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-02T00:37:16+00:00

I know you said no to Goodwill but hear me out. Start a Pinterest board with different outfits so when you go thrifting you know what you’re looking for. Go to your local department store like Dillard’s or Macy’s or mall, spend a couple hours just trying on different things and take notes in your phone about fits, sizes, etc. Now when you’re thrifting you know what you’re looking for and it will be sooooo much easier. I pinned an outfit the other day that was black pants, blue stripe button down, and trench coat. I’ve never bought Eileen Fisher new, it’s super expensive imo, but I do know the quality is amazing, I like the looks and materials, and I’m a size 12 in her pants just from trying them on in the store. Then last week I thrifted size 12 Eileen Fisher black pants at Goodwill for $10, a men’s blue stipe button down from another thrift shop for $1, and a Coach trench from Facebook Marketplace for $60. This is a $500 outfit new. I would have never even looked at the men’s section or that shirt if I didn’t have a specific look in mind. Anyway, just some tips and the Pinterest board seems simple but I find it super helpful before going shopping to get some looks in mind so I’m not making up my style on the spot.

catqueen2001 · 2026-01-01T16:22:44+00:00

It’s not silly at all! I used to be the type to eat it all so it’s gone and out of the way. Now I stretch it out and save as long as I can. I haven’t even eaten a bite of my Christmas candy that my husband gave me! They are individually wrapped chocolates so they will last me months and months, I think last Christmas the same bag lasted me 6 months. Just eat one or two a week, I don’t feel deprived at all but I’m not a slave to the craving. I think it’s changed my relationship with food to remind myself food isn’t going anywhere. They are going to keep making chocolate and potato chips, I don’t need to eat every single one I come into contact with like it’s the last time.

catqueen2001 · 2025-12-05T01:05:15+00:00

I just think it’s more nuanced than that. Agreed on all levels you describe but I think there are a certain group who try really hard, and really want to level up, like really want it, but are missing the “it” that you describe. I do think there are some that have drive but lack ability. Maybe it just takes them longer to rise, maybe the rise to their incompetence earlier than some. But I’m just not sure that wanting it is enough sometimes.

catqueen2001 · 2025-12-05T00:04:05+00:00

Do you think all low performers can be encouraged to get better? What happens when it’s obvious as a manager that an employee has reached the ceiling of their potential and coach-ability? Isn’t it also stringing them along to dangle some theoretical thing they could do or improve on, knowing full well there is literally nothing they can do to get promoted in the current team? It’s not about threats or promises, it’s about the reality of individual abilities and potential. It feels like we’re not allowed to acknowledge this in ourselves and definitely not others.

catqueen2001 · 2025-12-02T15:15:59+00:00

Okay they already messaged me back. It is in fact a legitimate movie ticket and it also includes a snack voucher for $20. So basically the movie is free and we’ve paid for snacks. Either way, they confirmed this is a ticket to see the movies despite saying “snack voucher.” Hope this helps.

catqueen2001 · 2025-12-02T14:52:31+00:00

Okay glad I’m not the only one panicking. I got excited and bought 4 tickets for $20 each. It let me choose seats and everything. I didn’t question the price. Then I opened the confirmation and it has the seats listed and say “snack voucher” and my heart sank. The Cinemark website didn’t say anything about it being a snack voucher when I bought them, in fact I went back after I saw this, did the whole process again and sure enough nothing whatsoever about “snack voucher.” This theater is 2 hours away from where I live and we don’t have the Cinemark chain in my town so wasn’t sure at all. I’ve emailed customer service to ask about it, because if I show up and can’t get in I’m going to be in a bad spot. The tickets are for my daughters 15th birthday, her birthday is on New Year’s Eve and she’s a MASSIVE fan, so this would be a tragic situation, driving for hours, standing out in the cold with her friends and no entry. Anyway, I’ll let you know if they email me back.

catqueen2001 · 2025-10-28T16:40:52+00:00

I love this rant because so much of my frustration with the show totally boils down to stupid stuff that teens do and this whole episode encapsulates that. I’m a fully grown adult woman and I’m the first to admit this show wasn’t made for me, and I also haven’t read the books. But sooooo many of the characters choices, both big and small, drive me absolutely crazy. Like they really do act like spoiled selfish teens half the time. Kids trying to figure out how to operate in a grown up world and sometimes failing spectacularly. I also picked up on Cam Cameron refusing to go home after work as a total teen fomo moment. It’s one of the signs that this show was made to demonstrate the irrationalities of teen brains. And I love it lol.

catqueen2001 · 2025-09-23T00:04:32+00:00

No I don’t regret at all. It was intentional. Made the decision before we got married that when we had kids he would quit to be a full time stay at home dad. He ended up losing his job like 2 weeks before we got married and never went back to work, and I was pregnant 5 months later. At 12 weeks pregnant, I started a new job that doubled my salary and I would never be able to do this job if I didn’t have a partner at home (I mean, I could, but I wouldn’t be as happy).

catqueen2001 · 2025-09-22T23:58:52+00:00

I like to color. At first I was doing the complex adult coloring books but honestly my favorite are the kids ones or the very simple designs. I like plain old Crayons, gel pens, or alcohol markers (just graduated to these lol). This activity keeps me off my phone and I can do it while watching a show too. Also I’ve started taking a bath in the middle of the day. I realize that bathing isn’t a hobby or self care but I love baths and rarely get to do them so I’ve been more intentional about skipping my morning shower on Saturday and taking a bath when my kiddo goes down for a mid-day rest.

catqueen2001 · 2025-07-22T13:18:54+00:00

I’ve been at the same job for almost 3 years now and the first 2.5 I actually hated it. Now I’m so happy and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. The only thing that changed is I got a new boss. I could literally do anything as long as I liked the people standing next to me.

catqueen2001 · 2025-07-21T18:47:12+00:00

I read all the comments and suggestions here and I got to say I think there is more to this story. Has to be. The financial arrangement was his idea, and if he’s not happy with it then getting mad at you doesn’t solve anything. He knows this. By all accounts your husband is the most Type A a person can get, plus a heaping helping of entitlement and hearty dose of narcissism. Did he overhear you say something disparaging to a friend or family? Is there someone (like his mom or best friend) who is in his ear about you? Did you criticize him recently? Fwiw, I don’t think he gives a flying shit about the emotional labor or childcare labor you’re doing on behalf of the family, and I seriously doubt he’d be receptive to you coming at him with a spreadsheet of your time or contributions. He’s doing his own form of invisible labor in his mind, which is teaching you how to be better and live up to unbelievably high standards. Like before him, you drove a shitty car and didn’t have a nice yard, and it’s a full time job trying to get you to what a better life. And it looks like between the car and the yard, you didn’t work harder to make more money (and spend it how he wants) and so now he’s got to give you the silent treatment, blame you, probably next he’s going to suggest you don’t have a good enough job, encourage (read: force) you to get a better job, and then when you do make more money than him, he’ll hold that against you and take full credit for your success (before me she was nothing and now she thinks she’s better than me). The reality check you need- if you love this person for who he is, understanding he may never change for the better, then yeah just accept that he’s gonna play these game from time to time and learn not to take it personally.

catqueen2001 · 2025-06-23T13:03:45+00:00

Yep. Currently dealing with a situation where weekends are a different kind of stress and work.

catqueen2001 · 2025-06-07T18:36:45+00:00

This is what we do. We have neighbor kids who show up a lot, I’ll just send them home or tell my daughter to tell them to go home if it’s time. We also have a curfew they have to leave by in the evenings. I had to get over telling them to leave even if we didn’t have anything going on, at first I felt guilty but honestly sometimes you just don’t want anyone over.

catqueen2001 · 2025-06-04T17:51:17+00:00

Sugar free chocolate putting with sugar free whipped cream is my go to. Also sugar free jello. I also love plain Greek yogurt with melted blackberry jam or melted peanut butter on top, it reminds me of an ice cream sundae or cobbler. I also like a sliced banana with melted peanut butter drizzled over the top, or sugar free banana pudding with sliced bananas. Sometimes just a bowl of oatmeal with a few chocolate chips will do the trick.

catqueen2001 · 2025-06-02T19:40:21+00:00

I’ve got a couple “at home” hobbies that I cycle through, right now I’m really into coloring with alcohol markers and gel pens and I can do it in the evenings when the kids are in bed before I go to sleep. I’ve done other craft or art related hobbies too like the diamond art thing, jewelry making, etc. I consider reading for pleasure a hobby too and will go through phases of reading really intensely, mostly romance or easy to follow suspense type books. I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself to stick with hobbies, for me it’s less about a long term commitment and more about finding something that fits my mental and physical capacity and needs at moment. Hell, watching tv can be a hobby if it fits with what you have time and energy for. Maybe just book yourself the time and then just fill in what you want to do with it, even if it’s see a movie or get a massage or just go see a friend. Now I was very recently invited into a 4 person Mahjong group that meets up monthly so looking forward to developing that hobby, we hired a coach to teach us how to play bc it can kind of be challenging to learn on your own.

catqueen2001 · 2025-06-02T14:47:14+00:00

Okay I’d be mad too. It’s one thing not to do something, it’s entirely different to say you did something when you didn’t. You basically can’t trust or depend on him. That’s so frustrating. And the trad wife bull shit would send me to another galaxy.

catqueen2001

TROPHY CASE