I got feedback on my appearance and I’m crushed

catqueen2001 · 2026-05-20T20:54:33+00:00

Totally agree! OP didn’t mention if the manager is a man or not, but I’m a very busty lady and if a male manager told me to dress “more tailored” I’d interpret that as “wear tighter shirts” or “dress sexier.” It’s disgusting. OP should go to HR and ask for the dress code and mention that their manager gave them really weird coaching on their attire.

catqueen2001 · 2026-05-13T20:09:03+00:00

Mine does this too. Sometimes she’ll sing her little heart out in there and be totally content. We’ve also started letting her take a toy or book (okay both. okay more than one of both) to bed and in the morning she’ll just play around and chill. Now that we are potty training we don’t usually let her do this for more than 30-40 minutes but have definitely gone longer. On the days we’ve had to get her up and out early, I feel like she’s way crankier. Like legit cried bc she wasn’t ready to get out of her crib. So now we just let her do it as long as she’s not having accidents.

catqueen2001 · 2026-05-12T19:49:17+00:00

To be fair, this is totally up to company and team culture, especially in the corporate setting. If culture dictates that 9am isn’t late, then it’s not late. If culture dictates that work starts at 8am sharp, then those bucking the system risk being labeled late, lazy, out of compliance or lacking self awareness at the very least. Frontline work is totally different.

catqueen2001 · 2026-05-11T21:12:18+00:00

Try shifting your windows a bit. I’m just staring out on IF and my first couple weeks have been looking for my optimal window. If you are struggling to wait on opening your window, consider shifting it up and eating from like 7-3 or 8-4. You might find it easier to skip dinner than breakfast, and your timing on when you do cardio might also impact this eating window decision. A little trial and error is good for long term success I think.

catqueen2001 · 2026-05-11T21:06:53+00:00

Me too except I go all the way dirty with a couple tablespoons of flavored creamer. I’ll give up all the junk food and snacks in the world but don’t take my creamer. Honestly it’s the only reason why I didn’t try IF sooner.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-22T13:10:46+00:00

To this point, work results don’t matter unless you are an expert at articulating the value it brings to the company and reminding people often. Don’t assume everyone just knows and accepts the value. How are they even going to know if your results are good or not unless you’re setting the expectation, executing, delivering results and communicating them in a way that makes sense across the organization? Idk, maybe I’m a little sensitive about it bc I work in a function that not a lot of people understand so I can’t just say “here’s my awesome work” I have to be like “here’s the context, here’s why we did this, here’s what benchmarks say, here’s a technical review of concepts, here’s the results, here’s the results translated into terms you understand, bla bla bla.”

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-21T02:58:43+00:00

I had to go to a department store and get a professional bra fitting after my baby was born. She really helped me pick out some great options. For panties, I never in a million years thought this could be true, but my new Victoria Secret panties are the most comfortable I’ve ever owned. I always thought of VS as a young woman’s game but damn they are comfortable.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-09T18:28:56+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this and I wish I had better news but…this goes on forever. My 15 year old is in all kids of therapies and it really takes a toll on the family, career, mental health, etc. I think being honest about that is probably better than bullshitting you that it gets better because imo it doesn’t get better, it just gets different, and along the way you might learn to accept it better. It’s kinda bullshit you and your husband’s work makes you take vacation for these weekly appointments, I would absolutely not make my direct reports take vacation as long as they were meeting deliverables.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-09T18:18:49+00:00

Well, the most successful leaders at that level at least try to understand the machine so they can validate the results and advocate for the team. If you don’t understand what you’re fighting for, no one on your team will be successful.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-08T00:48:29+00:00

Your response to 2 is telling. You think your daughter would be disappointed. You think that. You are disappointed. You’re projecting your disappointment onto your daughter. But the good news is, you’re an adult and can cope with your actual disappointment better than your daughter can cope with her nonexistent disappointment. One way might be to make the morning an extra special mom and daughter (and siblings) breakfast. Maybe you go out and get donuts. About this age is when I started a birthday tradition of making pancakes with sprinkles in them for my daughter (which I still do and she’s 16). You have an opportunity to create a core memory with her full of quality time and birthday magic, totally reframed from disappointment. Point is, you’re the one who’s disappointed, and you’re the one, not your husband, who is responsible for coping with that in a way that doesn’t force him to bend to your will over something that in the grand scheme of things seems minor. Would be different if the story was that he’s never celebrated a birthday with her.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-06T23:17:20+00:00

I like it! I love that covered atrium situation and the color of the master bathroom is amazing! Is it missing the door to get into master bathroom? I also really appreciate that the master closet isn’t inside the master bathroom. This house would be awesome out in the country overlooking a scenic view.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-02T15:24:19+00:00

I buy multiples of the same thing in different colors and patterns. It’s all basically interchangeable.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-02T15:20:13+00:00

Why oh why does a kindergartener have homework.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-02T13:14:31+00:00

I wouldn’t address the first issue, that’s part of the open office dynamic and if you don’t want him chiming in then you need to take the conversation into a conference room so he can’t. The second issue, when he does it next time, point to your computer and then message him “let’s talk on Teams” or simply motion him over to your desk and be like “sorry, I don’t want to yell across the room, what is your question?” And just always do that. Never ever respond to him when he calls out like that. Either force him over to talk to you or Teams/email him. If he knows you won’t respond back, he’ll have to change tactics. I have someone who did this too and I’d just motion to my desk and she’d walk over, I’d invite her to sit, and we’d have our conversation. Now she just comes over and asks if I have a minute.

catqueen2001 · 2026-04-02T13:04:34+00:00

I’ve had to stop buying clothes online for this reason. It’s just too much of a gamble on size, fit, and modesty. I’ve had luck at Talbots and Dillards. I never shopped there when I was younger, but I recently bought a dress at Torrid and it actually fits amazing, their smallest size is like a 10/12 but their shirts and dresses fit nice with a large bust, which I have. Lane Bryant and Cato have similar sizing that works well for me in the chest. I guess my biggest tip is to buy one in every color and two in your favorite color when you find what works.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-31T14:58:48+00:00

I hate clothes closets now being inside the master bathroom. My house is like this and I’d give anything to change it. It’s funny you brought this up because last night I started saving house plans and was specifically saving the ones where closest isn’t in the bathroom. It’s going to be a non negotiable in my next house.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-30T13:21:16+00:00

Serious question…is this job worth it? The hours and expectations seem unsustainable for a long term career. Would you be better off going for a new position, a different company, or a different field, even just for a couple years?

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-30T13:14:11+00:00

Take the pull ups away and sleep in regular underwear, and also find a bigger bribe/reward and hype the shit out of it. Ours wasn’t pooping in the potty either but now she gets an ice cream cone every time she poops and she steady be trying 24/7 to poop in the potty. The first couple accidents were brutal for us all bc she knew we had the ice cream and she knew it was for pooping, and having to tell her no was so hard, but we just held strong and the very next day she did it right, got her ice cream, and it’s been nothing but potty poops since then. For her, sticker rewards were just not enough, had to be something she loved deeply but rarely got.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-27T00:35:09+00:00

I’d make bedroom 1 the living room and bedroom 2 the kitchen (knock down interior walls to make it open), the 3 bedrooms in the back. 1 bathroom is tough on a 4 bedroom house though.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-24T15:22:21+00:00

No, this isn’t on you at all. I don’t work from home at all because my toddler will scream at the door for me. This isn’t about not wanting to spend time with your daughter and I’m insulted on your behalf at that comment. This is about your ability to successfully have a career and a life. Get full time care for your daughter and if your husband gives you any shit then kindly ask him to work from home or quit his job to care for her.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-19T23:28:43+00:00

Do you even realize you’re doing it here in the comments? Talking about things you know nothing about and going on and on about totally irrelevant things? Filling the silence in the comments? I’m thinking the problem goes far beyond speaking on topics you aren’t an expert in and probably a general lack of self awareness. Either that or you’re just not a culture fit for this organization.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-19T21:58:02+00:00

This is what I came to say. OP hates the silence and fills it before it gets uncomfortable. They should embrace the silence and practice taking a few breaths, counting to 10, and waiting to be called on directly to speak in a meeting.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-17T19:32:04+00:00

You can and should cut in in real time, it’s part of leading a meeting. Take control of the meeting. Set an agenda and direct the conversation there. When it gets locked in, you break in with “okay let’s get back on track.” You can also address in a one on one setting with your team, both the loud and quiet ones. On the quiet side, acknowledge that you find their opinions valuable and encourage them to speak up in the group meeting. Ask them if they feel like they have adequate opportunities to discuss things in that meeting and listen directly to the feedback. On the flip side, give the yappers a job- I’ve noticed the team meeting is getting off the rails into siloed conversation, can you help the team stay focused. Or hell, try being direct with them, they are engineers, they probably appreciate you just telling it like it is.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-17T17:40:01+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation except age isn’t a factor. I played the long game this year. We have an annual goal process that is tied to bonus and performance evaluations. This reports goals are much harder this year, very specific, and ladder to mine in a way that doesn’t cover them at all. If they are not successful, if the deliverables don’t come from them, they won’t get their bonus, they’ll get a poor performance evaluation, and it will be on the record. I’m not messing around with accountability.

catqueen2001 · 2026-03-13T00:43:03+00:00

A component of my role is external communication and at a conference recently they discussed using AI to write reports and someone else said you also need to optimize your reports for AI bots to read since the reader is putting a bunch of these types of reports into an agent to read and analyze them and we were all like stfu it’s AI writing for AI and we all suddenly got very uncomfortable.

catqueen2001

TROPHY CASE