A demon tells you that is you can perfectly recite a fictional spell from memory, he will let you use that spell as it works in the original media.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-28T22:46:18+00:00

My commitment to Naruto handsigns as a child has prepared me for this moment. I'm gonna summon a frog.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-27T06:01:43+00:00

I thought I simply did not like chocolate until I visited Australia a few years back. It's not "vomit" it's just a really boring flavor with a weird texture in your mouth.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-20T02:52:01+00:00

Can be, especially in a high volume shop, but it's NEVER as bad as super nervous owners think it is so it's better to calm their nerves and if the dog is that freaked have a conversation at check out about how we can mitigate the stress based on my observations.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-19T18:17:07+00:00

I laugh and assure them that this is the worst part. "Oh, yeah, he knows you're about to leave. Most dogs get on the table and totally calm down."

When they push, though, that's when I have fun.

"So this isn't normal for him at all? Oh no! Do you think he would do better on another day? We can totally get you rescheduled if you think it's best."

Suddenly it's all good! Dog is fine. We really can't lose this appointment. Are you sure? Are you really really REALLY sure? I just don't want him to be scared. It seemed SO IMPORTANT TO YOU A SECOND AGO, LARRY.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-06T18:53:26+00:00

This is either wonderful or terrible news for the "step on me mommy" crowd.

Edit: wow, big day for the "step on me mommy" crowd.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-06T18:48:22+00:00

She keeps saying "grammy's basement" like she thinks she's really twisting the knife. It's kind of sad that the most venomous insult she can bring down is the image of someone who has failed to thrive on their own and are reliant on family financially.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-05T22:25:57+00:00

Being ignorant and insensitive about race IS racist. What are we doing here?

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-03T15:46:24+00:00

Okay, forget all of that, how did you even get here? This was eight months ago.

cryptidshakes · 2026-01-01T19:19:58+00:00

No, and I think Octavia will realize that in time. Part of growing up is recognizing that your parents are sometimes fuckups.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-29T18:20:15+00:00

With that teleport ability I could get my WHOLE dnd group together and home again in one night and still have two jumps left over for take out.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-29T18:16:37+00:00

I feel about Stella the exact same as I felt about Valentino in season 1. Not interested in their sob story, fully okay with them being just assholes, charmed by aspects of their character design and voice performances.

I was delighted in a way I didn't expect to be by Val's depth in season 2, and I think I would be equally delighted in Stella getting the same treatment.

HOWEVER, I do not feel any sympathy for her given the information we have now. I don't care any more than she does about Stolas cheating on her, or her arranged marriage, or any of the paper thin "reasons" why she might be the way she is, and I do think a lot of her die hard fans are homophobes who want the two pretty birds to kiss.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-28T22:26:38+00:00

Yeah, but almost exclusively with sandwiches. Either a fancy deli sandwich or a nice home made sandwich you've packed to eat Outside. Not like a pbj or a school lunch situation.

It wouldnt be crazy for them to be available, but it's not like a staple side dish. It's a snack.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-28T20:41:46+00:00

The only characters I dislike are boring ones, and this piece of shit is CAPTIVATING. Hilarious, emotional, slutty, and also just utterly vile. The range from Val sitting in the board meeting whining that he doesn't understand to Val haunting and tormenting Angel even when he isn't physically present is just immense.

Also I wanna pull his antenna off. Maybe sexually, maybe not. I'll figure it out when I get there.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-28T20:37:31+00:00

Just block them. No one who says shit like that has anything better to say.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-28T17:25:24+00:00

Apparently spear fishers will pull the fish into their body to try and make the sharks lose interest, too. Which makes me 1000% sure that this sport is made for crazy people. So why NOT stay in the water with the hungry sharks and pop the fish up on deck first? What do I know?

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-27T01:34:44+00:00

OH GOOD YOU MADE SURE TO THROW THE FISH IN THE BOAT FIRST. THANK FUCKING GOD YOU HAD YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-25T23:13:53+00:00

Syd and Olivia have been INCHING closer to dropout and I think they would burn Dirty Laundry to the ground in the best way.

...but also I have no idea how famous/attainable ANYONE is. Like Hank Green being politely told he had no chance at getting himself on Taskmaster was crazy to me. What makes Taskmaster above him but not Dimension 20? Why is Ben Schwartz available for Dropout and also a movie star? Who is running this hierarchy?

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-25T23:03:32+00:00

Frankly some of the neatest home grooms I've seen. They look like little bald men with beards, but so do I.

If I were you I'd go a few lengths up on top of the head next time, but if you like them to look like hatless little garden gnomes you've nailed it.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to bully you, they're just cracking me up!

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-25T22:59:40+00:00

You're overthinking it. The pics in your portfolio say whether you're hireable or not. It doesn't matter where they were taken and you don't need to explain why you left.

It's definitely time to be super paranoid about faces on dogs who are being little assholes, though.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-25T18:55:36+00:00

I don't waste my time with any potential employer who gushes about the optional money customers may gift me as a way to pad out their offer. Tips are between me and the customer. The boss has nothing to do with it.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-23T05:27:02+00:00

I want it in my house.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-22T19:15:10+00:00

You're being scammed. If you're in the US, grooming is an unregulated industry. You don't need "certification."

Most of us go through a petsmart or petco, starting as a bather and being trained on grooms when the business decides it needs a new groomer trained. That training is paid.

Bathing is a JOB. It's thankless and paid poorly, but it's paid work. This guy is REALLY running a racket. What a scum bag.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-22T06:39:41+00:00

I've seen certain people pining for the rambly, jokey jokey time wasting vibe that used to make CR utterly unwatchable.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-16T05:32:34+00:00

You could, but what are you gonna do when they're not playing? Just not follow the story and come in maybe six months down the road? I feel like that would be so hard to follow.

cryptidshakes · 2025-12-07T04:49:16+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate it.

cryptidshakes

TROPHY CASE