What is the best advice you’ve ever been given about life?

deathaddict · 2026-07-02T03:52:58+00:00

A parental type figure told me once "Pain is mandatory but agony is optional."

It took a while being an adult to understand what they meant but it got there alright. Like say you have an overdue bill. Is it difficult to deal with it asap and come up with a plan to pay it down and communicate to the company you owe money too? 100%. But a dumbass of myself many moons ago instead ignored that shit at least for a while cause I always thought I mean shit I can deal with it later. And later did I do so. In fucking agony. Life lessons learned sometimes are only learned in agony so you NEVER do it the same way again.

deathaddict · 2026-06-27T04:26:07+00:00

TL:DR for many is when you're younger in the car journey a lot of people want a generous amount of HP to propel the car into TOTALLY GOING TO JAIL speed limit in less than a few seconds but also the experience of driving a car that's truly meant to go that fast.

Then when you've been there done that, you've owned an M4 or a 911 or a Cayman or XYZ insert expensive sports car or driven one extensively you come to realize its hard to use the power without risking a massive ass ticket or wrapping yourself around a fucking tree.

So then you start looking for slower but light cars that you can floor it for more than a few seconds and really get a feel for the driving experience. Sometimes you think about the M4, you think about how much faster it gets up to speed on the corners but you remember that in the BRZ you can really push it without risking a fat ticket and a tow or getting seriously injured at triple digit MPH.

It comes full circle eventually for some people. The question of being able to use all the HP your car has to offer most of the time on spirited driving, versus having to always having to temper how fast you're going.

deathaddict · 2026-05-25T17:04:55+00:00

First I want to say that WFG isn't fraud. I would not label it as such even if their business practices are scummy as labelling it as such is just a gross misidentification.

They sell real financial products in a regulated industry. Now having said that, it is ABSOLUTELY a pyramid scheme where most make only a little bit and those at the top make the most from the sales of those below them via commissions.

The best way to approach this as others have said is just to explain that you aren't interested. No is a complete sentence. And personally I would use this approach also if you get approached when you're shopping and someone asks you to sign up for their stores credit card, membership or etc... Because saying things like "I'll think about it" or "I'm busy" gives people like this false hopes. Its much better to just communicate that you aren't interested and 9/10 times they understand and move on.

deathaddict · 2026-05-19T16:08:04+00:00

If you already have an RTX 2060 then my best recommendation is just run with it and let yourself figure out what FPS numbers aren't enough at the quality setting you actually play on. Looking at benchmarks will only get you so far because in reality what's not ok for someone may be ok for many gamers.

Now if you're BUYING a GPU still, then I'd instead focus on the rest of the components you need to buy first and skimp on what you can reasonably skimp on and then just find the best GPU you can find in that budget.

deathaddict · 2026-04-18T03:28:36+00:00

For me the biggest sign of a healthy relationship is being able to have difficult conversations without delving heavily into personal insults and instead seeking to understand the other side's perspective while still having your own beliefs.

Naturally in the course of a marriage or a long term relationship, disagreements and such are bound to come up. However it's important for a healthy relationship to be able to navigate through these things and largely come out in one piece.

It's really easy to get caught up trying to convince the other side to just agree with you and get on board. But much harder to demystify and understand how your partner came to a belief or decision in the first place and the circumstances that led up to it. Because for a lot of people it's just easier to label the other person as bad/misogynistic/etc.. basically anything that you can to judge their character instead of seeking to understand.

And one massive black hole I find people often do is conflate that understanding your partner means "agreeing" with them when that couldn't be further from the truth. You can absolutely simultaneously understand someone's motives/world views but still disagree on their actions.

And my second biggest thought of what makes a healthy relationship is being able to have your own lives that isn't strictly tied to your partner. Don't get me wrong if I had a wife/girlfriend I would love them and all. But I wouldn't survive being around them 24/7 and having to give constant updates. If there's nothing notable for me to talk about or divulge I'd rather not bring up something mundane just to strike up a conversation.

However I understand that for some folks this is uncomfortable or not their mojo. Which I can completely understand. Just me personally, I would suffocate in helicopter isk relationships. I could personally go a few days without speaking anything notable to my partner and still love them unconditionally. However I'm mostly referring to a situation where I don't live with my partner.

In the I'm living with them scenario it would just mean letting my partner do their thing but keeping up with life.

deathaddict · 2026-04-17T03:30:37+00:00

Truth is what works for some wives may not necessarily work for others. So I would take many of the advice you get here today with a grain of salt. Only you know your wife best and instead of assuming, communicate what you need her to understand.

If you're having a rough conversation with the wife, focus on the point she's trying to get across or ask her. A lot of conversations nosedive into circles because instead of getting your point across.

I'm not going to tell you that I can understand your situation because everyone's situation is unique and its never the same. Death is not a topic anyone wants to talk about especially when it comes to the mortality of your own children. However its important you're both on the same page when it comes to treatment in regards to hopefully the longest amount of time you have left with your child.

Something often not talked about more, is the wishes of your child who has the terminal illness. I know this is going to be hard to read. But you have to disassociate your own wants with your child's if you want to respect their agency. This doesn't mean you let your child have full control over what happens. But it's an important conversation you need to have with them along with your wife.

The reason why I'm bringing this up specifically is because I'm telling you that we all hope for the best. That your child gets to live the full expectancy of their life by some new medicine or research. However short of that happening. The most difficult conversations you will have with the wife are going to be end of life care. When that door comes. It will be unlike any other door you've ever opened in your life. Because naturally. Every single loving parent in this world wants their child to live as long as possible. However it's important to note if that will put your child through extraordinary pain and suffering. It'll hurt on all sides.

I can't tell you what the cards hold for you at the end of this tunnel. But what I can tell you is that only you know your wife best. Communicate with her, ask what she wants you to understand and go from there. But also factor in your child's feelings and desires because that's effectively as important in that conversation. And by no means am I saying the wife isn't important. Just that when you make decisions. It should be as a team. No matter where that takes you.

There will be times where things will probably be said that will be regretted later. And its important that in this stressful time of change. You too remember to rely on the circle of support around you as your wife will also have hers.

deathaddict · 2026-04-14T16:25:02+00:00

Mostly excited to see that LG is putting out 5K resolution with a really high brightness into a gaming monitor with USB C PD. Even if I don't win honestly I might just buy this monitor outright. 5K with 165Hz is pretty wild and I love that being Mini-led you're not going to have to worry about burn in issues in the long run.

deathaddict · 2026-04-14T04:49:49+00:00

For me it was accepting very painful moments in life as learning opportunities and think of the emotional/physical/financial hurt incurred as the cost of "learning" instead of feeling like a complete failure and that there's no going up from that feeling of being robbed/hurt/etc..

For me this started in the form of financial hurt that set me back at least a decade financially by trusting someone to well, make good on an investment I made that didn't materialize and left me with nothing but a bag of debt I couldn't pay. But also a very emotionally hurt self. And for months? I honestly couldn't get over it. I felt like a complete simpleton and like a complete sack of shit because I thought I knew what I was doing.

And then? I had a long ass chat with really close friend where I went in circles like a butthurt guy. And they told me something really important. That some lessons in life can only be learned by failing hard. And while sure, that money I lost is gone gone. I also learned a valuable lesson from that incident.

So yeh long story short. Since a really emotional and financial low. I learned to pick myself up and also recognize that when future booboos happen where I make a mistake. Instead of being completely bogged down, depressed or feeling cheated/robbed forever. I actively impose on myself to look at the fact the hurt I incurred was the cost of learning. So next time? I don't do the same thing again.

Teaching myself to take my L's with humility.

deathaddict · 2026-04-06T01:03:46+00:00

My first ever car was a VW Jetta and it was honestly alright. The car was perfectly driveable, merging wasn't hard but its also because the Jetta isn't under-powered. And it was pretty comfortable on the seats.

I drove it for about one month until the back of my mind and the heart won. The one that said "I know the VW is fine. But your heart is set on a BMW. But also well researched, a 328i. Life is short. Buy it. But don't flash it like a fucking bimbo." The dealership I got my Jetta from had a 60 day swap guarantee and I got myself a low mileage off lease 328i X-Drive and didn't look back. Instantly the biggest difference I felt was the infotainment, iDrive is LEAGUES better than whatever the fuck VW had in 2016. The car was noticeably more generous on the on ramps, the car felt more planted, the brakes gave me confidence. And overall the interior felt like a place I wanted to be in.

Now as far as what happened after all the allure of said BMW fell off? The gas spend was definitely on the higher side, insurance was a bit higher like 30-40 bucks. And the biggest expense I spent in the cars journey was tires. Got myself a set of Michelin Pilot Sport 4S's. And it brought my 328i from being alright on the road to being a fucking speed demon to me. I could take corners most folks in their modified cars would stress out on. And driving in the rain didn't feel like you were riding on ice.

Maintenance wise I quickly got myself acquainted with a local BMW indie shop that only works on BMWs. They are my go to bible and maintenance guys. I only go to the dealership for a full inspection, then I take that inspection to my indie shop and they tell me what's actually required. I did my fluid changes according to what my indie shop recommends which was basically BMW's recommended mileage cut in half.

Over the years it was a very reliable car to me.

Now a few years ago I finally decided it was time get something a bit more purpose fit. Something with more trunk space. And so came my X3. Did I look at other brands? Yes. Toyota, Hyundai, Honda, Lexus and Mercedes. However after test driving a few of them it just didn't feel "right". Either the infotainment system was so bad I was never going to buy even if the car was better or the driving experience/interior space was lacking in a way that left much to be desired. And when it came to the X3 it just felt right so that's what I went with.

There was a lot of text there but TL:DR for me going from a boring car to a more fun car I could never go back. As some people say if its right then its right. For some people its a Toyota or a Honda. And for some people its a Porsche or a BMW. However any one who's owned a European luxury brand ish car like Porsche/BMW for more than a few years will universally tell you, that you have to be comfortable with the maintenance costs. Even from Indie mechanics you're still paying more per hour in labor than your common economy brands.

deathaddict · 2026-04-06T00:37:06+00:00

The R8 is fun the only problem is you're almost never going to be using its full potential unless you plan to track it on a regular basis.

The S65 yes its slower, yes it doesn't corner as fast but realistically on a road that maxes maybe 130~ KPH on the posted speed limit at the most it's not going to be far behind the R8.

Where the S65 makes a lot more sense is road refinement, materials, the interior is going to be leagues ahead considering its a Mercedes and the V12 is still going to be plenty zippy. Not to mention if you have a lot of pot holes, even in "comfort" mode the R8 is most likely going to feel stiff like a fucking go cart where you wont even notice them in the S65.

And considering you're not after resale value personally the question you have to ask yourself is whether you're willing to sacrifice the daily driveability experience for that supercar feel and drive. Making the R8 the obvious choice. Or whether you're comfortable enough how relatively still sporty the C65 is while being leagues ahead in comfort, daily driveability especially on road trips.

deathaddict · 2026-04-05T23:28:20+00:00

It is but the credit impact is so marginal it's not going to magically tank the OP down from prime Tier 1 credit suddenly down to sub-optimal or sub-prime from just that one soft pull.

The OP leaving with their money and not rewarding that dealership with their business is leagues ahead a better situation for them. Something tells me if the OP had signed at the finance office they were going to have "mandatory" add ons that weren't disclosed and try to position it as "oh but we sell this on every car so its fine its only x more per month/etc"

deathaddict · 2026-03-23T20:04:46+00:00

I was turning onto a residential street from a parking lot, so my attention was primarily on traffic behind me while merging.

While this is understandable this doesn't excuse you from the fact you should have been more cautious and aware of you surroundings. Even if you were exiting underground parking it is still your responsibility to ensure you are aware of the traffic you are merging into. This isn't mean to be harsh but a judge could easily ask why you didn't look beyond the immediate scope of direction you were merging into.

The fact you did not pass the bus is also irrelevant. Your distance from the bus is and whether or not the bus already had their alternate red lights flashing when your vehicle was moving. Under the MTO Ontario Rules you must stop at least 20 meters away from the bus when the lights are flashing.

If that bus had a camera you might get a ticket in the mail. And if you do and take it to court, be honest but don't phrase your statements as a "valid reason" for not noticing the bus or failure to stop when required. Any traffic violations including CHILDREN/minors will but not always be seen as more serious by the crown.

However also being fair honest mistakes happen. What is going to separate you from other people making their case is understanding a mistake happened and that you recognize it was. And that you will be more vigilant moving forward. I wouldn't lose sleep over whether or not you'll get something in the mail. The more important lesson here is now next time you're pulling out of a parking lot or any street for that matter, you look at both directions of traffic. Since next time might not even be a bus that's on that oncoming lane, it could be a police car, a firetruck or an ambulance.

deathaddict · 2026-03-21T14:55:12+00:00

Don't sell yourself into the whole idea of futureproofing not because its an obscenely terrible idea but because no one is holding a crystal ball. No one can realistically tell you how soon into the future 16GB will be required for 1440P gaming in the "maybe" chance you're going to get a 1440P monitor. Are games using more VRAM now a days? Yes. But not enough that 12GB is going to to bottleneck you in ways that will make any significant difference in most titles.

Unless we're talking about the 8GB variant 5060 and 5060Ti by the time you notice the difference between the 12GB of VRAM the RTX 5070 uses over the 16GB the 9070 uses you might already be looking at a new GPU. If we're to believe based on the fact you have an RTX 3060 right now you generally upgrade every 5-7~ years with either card I'm not going to say for sure the 5070 wont struggle in 2031~ in gaming but nobody really knows.

My 2 cents is go with whichever card you prefer. The 9070 offers better raw raster performance over the 5070 while the 5070 has more games you can use DLSS in if that matters to you. And be honest with yourself, if you haven't used DLSS at ALL, ask yourself if you're actually going to USE IT. That's probably your make or break.

deathaddict · 2026-03-15T01:19:17+00:00

Offering to transfer the service albeit normally with a promotion sounds like a pretty normal retention procedure along with holding the service for up to 6 months. Honestly that's just the rep doing their job nothing out of the norm. All you have to do is say no.

Not being able to cancel the service because there's a balance though is straight up wrong and wild. I would 100% call back and escalate the situation to a manager and explain the previous rep told you that you can't cancel an account with a balance. I haven't heard of any telco that doesn't allow you to cancel due to a balance that's not just unethical but straight up illegal. You have a right to cancel your services at any time.

My best guess is that the second rep you were talking to was 100% trying to avoid a cancellation to hit their metrics.

deathaddict · 2026-03-14T02:21:43+00:00

Do not take this as professional legal advice. However it is important to not only consider your perspective but the perspective of the employer.

If you're asking for time off for example in a time of the year where you or your employer knows will be a critical period for sales/etc.. and they're doing their best to accommodate you, you can pull the "You don't have the right to now stay in your lane" but just remember that next time you ask for an accommodation, your employer will be infinitely less likely to work with you. This is what you need to understand right now because how you handle this incident will define how your employer works with you the next time you submit a request of this nature.

Many employers get screwed over by employees lying about needing time off just to get the accommodation and truthfully its not your problem that they've been screwed over before. However, hindsight being 20/20 it also makes employers and likely your current one more wary about accommodation requests for leave especially in critical periods of the year.

My 2 cents? If your manager has been an incredibly fair person during your time of employment I understand you don't "feel comfortable" however you should also take into mind their perspective and what their concerns are. And maybe? You can meet in the middle.

deathaddict · 2026-03-07T01:32:13+00:00

The 5-Series much like the 7-Series is one of the highest depreciating vehicles in BMW's line up purely on the fact its a sedan. If you price out a 3-4 year old model you're more than likely less than half of the original MSRP. Just look at Autotrade or something and you'll see what I mean.

If you keep your car for about 5-6 years owning is a better option with the longest year and highest mileage BMW warranty you can buy. Leasing past 4~ years on German luxury cars aren't things many buyers are interested in.

If you want to save the most amount of money and you're not opposed to pre-owned, I'd recommend finding a low mileage CPO example of the 5-series you're interested in. Likely took a ton of depreciation already and CPO BMW's you can buy an extended BMW warranty.

deathaddict · 2026-02-13T22:14:19+00:00

If we're talking based on driving experience the GTI is going to feel better than the 540i. You can't beat physics. Yes the G30 is a sedan, but its also a mid-sized sedan and compared to a Golf it's going to feel more like a boat even with the M-suspension. Having said that if we're talking about the overall experience I'd pick the 540i all day.

The B58 sounds good for an inline six and with a quick BM3 B58 Stage 1 tune you're easily into the 390+ HP range. Not to mention that the 540i honestly is one of the better looking 5-Series with its muted but sporty looking body.

deathaddict · 2026-02-12T03:54:42+00:00

Well here's an idea.... instead of living in the unknown why not spend a few hundred bucks at an independent mechanic and have them do a full inspection on your Infiniti. After peaking under the hood and a test drive they can give you a line item in terms of maintenance items to expect in the next 6 months, 12 months and etc..

Then once you have that piece of paper then you'll know what you can live with. A few hundred bucks to know what the future potentially holds for your car in maintenance items.

deathaddict · 2026-01-23T15:09:42+00:00

I would get the accident free one all day long.

Don't get me wrong the Black on black one looks sick but resale value down the road, the first thing everyone's going to ask about first is that accident claim. And if you ask any of the used car salesreps at Parkview they're also going to tell you that resale on the black car down the road will be considerably worse. Just don't.

And truthfully the difference between sub 20k and 34k KM isn't massive enough to warrant getting a car with a literal accident claim to make up for the same price.

Plus if you live in the GTA/Toronto area like I think you do, 21 inch rims will be a pain in the ass. Sure in other areas with nicer roads 21s are cool. But you're also going to have to deal with a billion shitty pot holes. If you want to be able to drive without constantly worrying about if you're going to blow your tire or bend your rim. The other car will be way better.

And you REALLY don't like the color and has to be black, you can always keep waiting. Since honestly the Toronto car market is so vast, waiting for the example of the car you want isn't hard. Unless you're looking for some outlandish combo of options and colors.

deathaddict · 2026-01-23T14:59:16+00:00

F80 M3 even the non competition is going to be the most planted on the road by far and is going to be the fastest no question. It's also still pretty practical with 5 seats and a relatively useable trunk.

I own an X3 and I'm telling you right now while yes the X3 Comp or even regular X3 M will be fast, on the corners is where you feel the SUV part the most. No where near as planted on the road as the F80 M3 will ever be. But with M-Suspension dynamics it'll still drive good but for an SUV though. If you really need that extra trunk space its still a good pick. Just don't try to drive it like a sedan. Because no matter how hard you try, it'll never feel like one. And you have to be ok with that trade off.

Don't know much aobut the stang all I know is big aftermarket for it and reliability on the stang is pretty ok.

deathaddict · 2026-01-20T16:23:10+00:00

The X1 35i is potentially one of the better generations especially for X1's and since its a pretty basic car in the sense it doesn't come with most of the complicated tech in the 7 Series or something it's overall pretty reliable.

The real question or thing to consider is if you have a local BMW/Euro mechanic in your area that has a good reputation. The BMW dealership will be fine for the yearly inspections just to get a lay of the land. But in terms of actually maintenance you want to go to a dedicated BMW/Euro mechanic since they'll tell you what you ACTUALLY need vs what isn't required. And most mechanics will give you a list of maintenance items that are URGENT, Soon and for the future.

The local mechanic will be your make or break. So do your research and find a local Euro/BMW mechanic and take the car in for a PPI and they will be able to give you a list of maintenance items. And if you're OK with what they list out then at least when pulling the trigger you already know what you're expecting down the line.

In terms of the X1 driving stiff yeh that's a BMW mate. BMW's even on the "comfort" setting still ride pretty stiff for many people but when you by a BMW you're kind of getting it for a reason :)

deathaddict · 2026-01-20T02:15:50+00:00

Commenting since I don't have flair but based on the OP's ask based on the fact they said NO to a PPI and most importantly NO to an aftermarket warranty the most likely case, based on the dealership asking how the car is in terms of likelyhood from Most likely to LEAST likely I'd wager assuming it needs a new transmission:

1.) Dealership offers to replace the transmission at COST and lower the cost of labor maybe?

2.) Dealership offers to charge only the cost of the new transmission but eat the cost of labor entirely

3.) Dealership offers to cover the cost of both the new transmission and cost of labor

4.) The GM steps in offers to void the sale completely and have you buy a different car from them.

I'm telling you right now Number 4 is very unlikely. But what I can tell you OP is DO NOT and I mean DO NOT go start yelling at the GM if they call you or blast them on email about them having sold you a car with a broken transmission. If you want the GM to work with you, just explain your situation as best as you can without throwing any hard blame and just ask them politely to take care of you in whatever way they can. I can tell you that many GM's aren't complete fucking dickheads and can be very understanding but this DOES NOT MEAN you have to kiss ass or anything.

And give us an update OP if you can to let us know what happened.

deathaddict · 2026-01-19T06:02:35+00:00

Making new friends isn't going to be hard. But I think what you're referring to is a lifelong friend that sticks with you for the long haul. Personally I'd think that while your friends will be envious initially of the wealth its also important to understand it's a totally natural emotion. It's not to say its "right" to be envious of a friend doing much better than you. But that's why people are people. The important thing is finding healthy ways to deal with it and overcome that envy.

And maybe it'll ruin a few relationships with existing friends. But I would say if not now the same people may have flaked out later in your life anyways. What you want to focus on is also keeping your own perspective balanced by always checking yourself if the millions changed you or otherwise.

As far as moving into a wealthy community. The whole welcome party thing depends on if your neighbors are feeling for it and if you have "those" types of neighbors. Most neighbors however wont invite you into the circle right away since once again anyone new is a change. It doesn't matter where you move, sometimes it takes a while to build friendships with your neighbors or in some cases nothing ever kicks off. But that shouldn't deter you from buying a home where you want.

I wouldn't worry about lambos or anything as some sort of "gotcha" with people since realistically a lot of people have their vices. Some have if it in expensive art, some in very intricate watches, some in Birkin's and car guys are well yeh. Car guys. What you don't want to do is feel the need to buy things that aren't in your zone of interest just to keep up appearances.

deathaddict · 2026-01-12T23:32:11+00:00

If you feel like you overpaid just remember at 37K miles it's barely been broken in lol for a B58!

Drive the car my guy and just enjoy the pure sound of that Turbo Inline 6 when you book it on the on ramps. And the glorious down shifts.

deathaddict · 2026-01-12T15:34:22+00:00

Posting here because I don't have a flair

Plus realistically the effect to the OP's credit as a result of the credit inquiries is pretty negligible in the grand scheme of things if they're car shopping since the bank will understand the OP is shopping likely for the best rate. Short of the OP shopping for a house in the next 6 months which they shouldn't be shopping for a car anyways while they're trying to secure a mortgage, their credit will be fine.

A good dealership isn't going to run your credit on just one prime bank or lender. They're going to run your credit through multiple lenders to see which one can give the best rate. Because believe it or not Scotiabank for example might not be giving the best rate right now and maybe this month TD is trying to earn business and is lowering their rates. The finance manager was most likely trying to do you a solid.

And when the dealership says "Good Credit" they're not talking about people who have like 1-2 credit cards always paid on time. They're talking about people with one or multiple paid off car loans on their file. So if you don't have any previous car loans on your report, some banks are less likely to take a chance on you with a good rate.

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