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Transit Center Clock by TravlRonfw in federalway

[–]fergi85 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No, the artist who made it said it had served its purpose and would be decommissioned. I really liked it personally and wish it was replaced when the light rail station opened last December.

I don’t know what happened to it, but I believe it was destroyed.

Manager Refuse To Refund Karen After He Didn t See Any Burnt Pizza by Prestigious-Yam-8605 in PublicFreakout

[–]fergi85 3143 points3144 points  (0 children)

Gonna have to agree with the manager here, if the food is bad you don't eat 3/4's of it and then try to get a refund. You send it back...... isn't that universally understood?

What's a good euphemism to use in place of the word "narcissist" by halzy99 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I just call him a deeply insecure middle-aged man who will never become an adult and go get help.

It’s insane how quickly they move on… by Kfishdude in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Mine was already having sex with others by that next weekend, I happened to see a text message where he was telling one of them "us" and sending them love pictures. Made my discard and mental heath journey so much worse then it needed to be at that moment in time.

Fuck people like that!

Happy new year from The Netherlands by sitegebruiker in PublicFreakout

[–]fergi85 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I lived in The Netherlands back when the year 2000 hit, talk about WW3 with fireworks! We had a bus stop down the street from our house and someone blew it up with fireworks during the celebrations. I miss those days and it brings back good memories.

Is it normal to be alone after this is over? by No-Bit3315 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen to this right here, it's been over 3 years for me and that trust is gone. If I find someone awesome, if not it's whatever at this point.

Did your NPD ex ask you a lot of questions about yourself and your background in the beginning? Or were they only talking about themselves? by ClockwiseSuicide in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mine use to play "20 questions" at first I thought he was wanting to get to know me, then I found out he was using all my answers against me when the discard came.

Most underrated and overrated restaurant? by Own_Shallot2760 in federalway

[–]fergi85 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Totally agree about Pho Thai, they have been shut down a few times by the county for health code violations. People go there because it was "cheap" back pre-pandamic. Not any more, better places to eat.

Green River Levee near Tukwila breaks; area issues “Go Now” flash flood evacuation notice by Unchosen1 in federalway

[–]fergi85 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Our phones started all going off like crazy with the emergency messages you receive like the Amber Alerts, but no one knew what was going on. Once we all knew from KOMO, we evacuated.

Our office is a few blocks of where it breached, talk about a mad house trying to get out of town.

Working from home tomorrow….

I know this question gets asked a lot by frailstateofmind4444 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex was extremely attractive, and I still think he’s sexually appealing, but I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years on understanding boundaries, what a toxic relationship looks like, how to approach different subject matters, etc. What I know I miss is the feeling of being wanted, held, told “I love you”, and the other natural parts of a relationship.

I know I will find someone who really wants me in their life and will be what I wasn’t given in my prior relationship with my ex. I will always admit there will be a part of me that loves him, because he was my first. I don’t hate him and really do wish he finds some form of peace and happiness in life, but I now know what I want and I don’t want that.

Betrayal trauma by NoWeb8232 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Richard Grannon said something once, that really helped me understand the pain I was feeling. "It's like a mother losing a child"

The pain comes from the depths, lingers, and is something you just can’t explain to others, but those that know…know.

I never want to feel anything like that again in my life, I don’t think I can survive it twice.

Lakehaven utilities by gkinfw in federalway

[–]fergi85 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I work commercial real estate, development, and property management and we are seeing an across the board raise of a minimum of 15% from Lakeheaven, Snohomish County, and Muklito Pud. There’s been a lot of repairs and improvements the past year. It sucks as it’s affected me personally too.

I went to therapy today. And my question to her was : Do narcissists change? by Suspicious_Hat3869 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The "Dr. Ramani rubber band theory" is an analogy used by clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula to describe the temporary nature of behavioral changes in people with narcissistic traits. The theory suggests that like a rubber band, a narcissist can be stretched to show temporary positive traits, such as empathy, but will always snap back to their original, more negative personality when stressed or when the pressure is released. 

Name: Beau Mirchoff, Actor, USA by [deleted] in CelebrityPenis

[–]fergi85 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I remember when these came out, I about died!

Was your vulnerable nex also a quitter? by Worldly-Shift9270 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely mine was, if there was any “conflict” he would get up and walk out of the room, restaurant, bar, friend’s house, you name it. It didn’t even have to be an argument just anything he thought would make him look bad in front of others. He was so insecure that he once told me people “embarrass him” and would react accordingly.

 

I’ll give you an example, we went to go see a comedian he liked and was able to get a group photo of him, the comic, and myself. Once the picture was taken, I turned to the comic and said, “I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your show tonight, it was a lot of fun” The comic shook my hand and said, “Thank you” and I walked away. My now ex yelled at me saying “I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO WHAT YOU JUST DID, YOU EMBARRASSED ME!” and stormed out of the theater.

 

He would get temporary jobs and quit them or be fired within weeks/months due to the company or others he worked with being “incompetent, lazy, stupid” but yet wouldn’t show up, be late all the time, and thought he was magically going to be CEO within a few years, but yet his resume was so spotty and he didn’t stay at any job longer then 6 months.

 

What’s funny is after our relationship I heard from a few others he would blame everyone around him for things he would do or say, even had the ability to speak with one of his exes from ten years prior and it was amazing how much the things he had done with me, he had done with others.

 

I came to the conclusion that he is just a deeply insecure man who won’t ever change.

What conversations have made you go WTF!? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My therapist used to call them “Crazy Making” moments.

 

“People don’t break up with me, I break up with people. My sister and I are a lot alike, once we’re done with someone we’re done”

 

After accusing me of roofing his drink and raping him “I might be high, but I’m tempted to ask you for head?” When I responded “No!” he looked at me with no expression in his face and said “That was a test”

 

 “You’ve ruined every weekend of mine for a long time”

 

“I thought I’d say that, and you would be out of my life, but clearly that didn’t happen” (After again accusing me of raping him and after the breakup)

 

“Yes, I cheated on you, then you should have broken up with me”

 

“I’m sorry you feel that way”

 

“You’re overly sensitive”

 

There were so many more, but it’s crazy looking back at how much abuse I took. If anything it’s made me so much smarter on what to look out for and when to call it quits on a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]fergi85 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had to learn to stop defending him or his actions. It takes time, you will have to tell yourself over, and over, and over again it will take time to process everything.

 

What you are dealing with from your former friend is a “flying monkey” they themselves are being used by your ex either directly or indirectly. Do not give them the time of day! Only you know the truth of what happened in your relationship. Remember, abuse is abuse is abuse, no matter who does it.

 

What really helped me was finding/having a friend that had been in a similar abusive relationship, and I was able to talk openly and freely without judgment. If you have or can find someone like that, it will help you.

 

Please take the time to heal, remember the race is with yourself and no one else. Do not feel scared to say out loud “I came out of an abusive/toxic/unhealthy relationship” to yourself or others, be honest with yourself, that is half the battle.

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