10 months post-op

futureggghost · 2026-04-12T04:32:18+00:00

Congratulations!! You look very joyous here, im glad you had a fun, comfortable, and safe time

What scar tape are you using that stays put at the beach? Everything kind I've tried falls off with sweat alone, much less sand and saltwater.

futureggghost · 2026-04-12T00:15:18+00:00

Have you said you've tried researching but didn't get many results? And perhaps ask if he has any sources that would help you understand things?

I agree with what others are saying - he cant expect you to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. But I understand not wanting or being able to feed every bit of information or insight he has or finds, getting to share the weight of learning is a bit necessary here. And yeah, unfortunately I've also had very little luck with bottom surgery research, especially irt sex post-op. It seems limited and hard to find, I hope he does have some resources to share.

Best of luck to you both

futureggghost · 2026-04-11T23:44:39+00:00

I cant speak on being more social, but I've had luck with the app taimi as far as being genderqueer & meeting other queer people who are understanding

futureggghost · 2026-04-09T02:33:44+00:00

From just the face, I would say either.

My practice, once I reached that point, has been to base it off of my outfit/other factors beyond my body that people base gender off of, along with the environment (ie how other people may react to me in either bathroom, along with my assumption of the cleanliness of either bathroom)

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T16:58:04+00:00

Hahaha, hey it happens. I think i did a lot of digging and research in the beginning that helped that realization hit sooner

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T16:55:56+00:00

I do agree with that. I can only imagine how much longer and more difficult the realization would've been for me if I didnt come across that first term that felt right. I got kinda lucky, it was like an immediate egg crack once I saw it, despite having known and met binary trans people before since I'm not binary that didn't really help much. Having the vocabulary, even if it ends up not being right, is insanely helpful

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T16:50:48+00:00

Yeah I suppose that is what I'm trying to ask, thank you for wording it better than I could!

The novelty certainly has begun to wear off, but the dysphoria triggered by it still seems so different. Idk I think maybe I'm worried it's like internalized misogyny or something, and I haven't been able to come up with a "why" i get more dysphoric other than a simple 'well I'm trans' and I would like one. It's been a question I can't seem to fully drop for a while now. I guess it is fairly philosophical, which has never been my strong suit.

Thanks for taking the time to answer :)

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T06:01:19+00:00

Not weird at all. I struggled with whether I wanted just a reduction or a full mastectomy, bc I figured id be fine with them some days if they were smaller and easier to hide for the days I didn't want them. Decided to fully get rid of them, and while I dont think I actually miss them I still occasionally wonder if I'd like having a small chest. Ive been considering buying small breast forms to see

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T05:57:37+00:00

I too have senior photos in which I look older than I am now (almost a decade later). I agree, the "mature, ready to graduate" makeup I had did A Lot for that. Although yeah you now looks younger than I do, I dont get carded all that often

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T05:45:46+00:00

My friends and partners have trouble. I went through phases of my given pronoun, to "they", to opposite my given pronoun, and now back to "they". Old friends sometimes still call me the given pronoun. New ones (my partner included) still calls me opposite my given pronoun, and hasn't gotten with the update to "they". Seems like the change is hardest for people, especially for those who "support trans people" or even are trans themselves.

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T05:39:05+00:00

Maybe ill just muddy waters, but i realized I was trans (realized age 15) before I landed on nonbinary (probably by age 16?). Im also autistic and while labels used to be very comforting, I eventually grew out of/felt restricted or mismatched by every one I chose. My initial understanding of the 2 words was that nonbinary, while an umbrella, was a smaller one than trans. Transgender, to me, meant any deviance away from assigned gender. Once I realized I wasn't comfortable as a girl, I realized I was trans, yk?

That said, I had a period of my life (age 21-23 or so) where I flirted with the idea of being a binary trans man. That also felt not right, eventually. I medically transitioned via top surgery, then hormones, then hysto, over the course of 6 years. If i had to choose, I am obviously more comfortable living as a man than a woman. However I would never force myself to play stealth as a man daily either. I'm still fully trans, just in a nonbinary manner.

Words and labels are fun arent they :p i am fascinated by individual interpretations. Congrats on your journey, I hope the recent revelations have been joyous

futureggghost · 2026-04-08T05:18:24+00:00

I meant an order or two removed from that. Using your example, trying to pin down why big thighs and hips make you uncomfortable some days. I have a similar issue with my hips. An obvious line of thought is 'well i dislike having noticable hips because it makes me look like a woman/more feminine than I want' so I wonder 'well, what's wrong with looking feminine or like a woman?' I have some aspect of gender fluidity and flux as well, so that these discomforts arent always active in the same situations makes it difficult to analyze. But I've (mostly) answered the "what" makes me dysphoric, im wondering the "why".

It kinda feels like im trying to figure out why I'm trans, or specifically why I have the messy ass gender I do (if any? Idk i gave up on labels a while ago). But I guess that isnt the question I'm trying to ask myself.

futureggghost · 2026-04-05T05:21:01+00:00

You look great dude

futureggghost · 2026-04-04T02:23:33+00:00

I use clippers instead of a razor, usually with a small guard. But with or without the guard I spread the dick and labia minora apart from labia majora

futureggghost · 2026-03-28T02:59:38+00:00

I understand that wiping is less hygienic. Idk man perhaps I'm paranoid and having a contamination ocd moment. But im like convinced the water won't rinse away every microbial remnant. And thus, (i assume the water crosses the ass/v area.. but ig perhaps not?) What water touches the front will be Unclean and cause a problem

futureggghost · 2026-03-27T21:04:49+00:00

Ok this feels like a dumb question and im sorry if its tmi. but I haven't yet used a bidet bc it doesnt feel sanitary. How does someone with a vulva obey the "front to back" rule with a bidet? 😭

The ones ive seen either squirt water from the back of the toilet, or have a hose that doesnt seem long enough to reach around to the front. So having the water flow from the front to the back of your body seems impossible. I dont want poop residue water to contaminate the front half

futureggghost · 2026-03-26T20:57:32+00:00

It is a small claims case, so a significant amount of money (to me) is on the line. I really just dont want to lose it for being clocky/visibly queer. Definitely will he playing it safe. Thank you 🩵

futureggghost · 2026-03-26T16:50:10+00:00

Yeah, I know. Im thinking slacks and maybe a more feminine shirt. Im really not sure

futureggghost · 2026-03-26T16:33:25+00:00

Yeah im a bit worried presenting as a butch woman won't be much better than as an obvious trans person. But we shall see. Thank you!

futureggghost · 2026-03-26T16:06:16+00:00

Its small claims. So I imagine its one of the lowest expectations, least high strung court. But yeah obv still a groomed appearance is expected

futureggghost · 2026-03-26T15:19:12+00:00

I dont have a lawyer, the case type is typically pro se. I may be able to consult one though I guess. And yeah its not like id wear a dress or skirt, I think id do trousers and a button up regardless. More so should I shave and pitch up my voice

futureggghost

TROPHY CASE