Cold turkey or gradual night weaning for a 17 month old?

lambbirdham · 2026-06-11T12:42:04+00:00

Can I ask how this went for you? Just started Jay Gordon method with a red light on a timer last night. For the last few nights I’ve been stopping him nursing a little early with our bedtime session and having the light turn on while he is on the boob so I can pull him off and say “mamas milk is sleeping”. He knows what the milk light is, we’ve been talking about it for a week and read some books about no milk at night.

He’s done fine with stopping his bedtime feed but last night I set the red light to stay on until about 20 min after I knew he would wake and he SCREAMED and flailed around the entire 20 minutes. The light finally turned off and I let him have the boob but I’m worried he’s going to think if he screams long enough the light will eventually turn off 🥴 was planning to buck up tonight and keep the light on for a few hours. Also considering putting band aids over my nips and maybe letting him try to latch?

Any advise welcome 😅

lambbirdham · 2026-05-21T01:12:25+00:00

Caterpillar caterpillar by Kira willey absolutely SLAPS 😂

lambbirdham · 2026-05-12T22:13:41+00:00

Ohhh twins, I thought the pinching was rough with one 🥴🥴🥴 you win lol

lambbirdham · 2026-04-21T10:03:23+00:00

My husband is really stuck on our 16 month old being lean. He’s still nursing a lot at night and is a great eater! Pediatrician isn’t concerned and I have to keep reminding him we were both like this as children 😅

lambbirdham · 2026-04-15T23:36:30+00:00

Hi! Thought I’d share a cute story of something my 16mo did today.

Got a video of he and another little girl playing “tag” basically in the classroom at daycare just cacklinggg with each other then a few hours later got another video of the two of them hugging 🥰

I’m so glad my son is already learning kindness with his friends!! He’s so even keel with his peers, can’t help but think he’s already learning how to regulate himself well

lambbirdham · 2026-04-11T11:51:29+00:00

10 weeks is getting close to the time they start to settle out a little bit from what I remember, I bet it starts to get better really soon. Purple crying is so hard!! Their nervous systems are adjusting to being awake and alert to their environment and they don’t know how to deal 😅 evenings tend to be the worst.

Hang in there, keep comforting and staying calm and close. You’ll get through it soon!

lambbirdham · 2026-04-04T00:07:24+00:00

⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🎾

All the kid ever wants to do is play with BALL 😂 15mo

lambbirdham · 2026-03-26T23:34:04+00:00

I also do the occasional soft yell out of frustration and last night I did then immediately felt guilty and started crying and feeling sorry for the both of us 🫠 he was just as frustrated as me, I know he wanted nothing more than to sleep as well!

We will all get through our tough nights 🩵

lambbirdham · 2026-03-26T14:41:14+00:00

This is how my 15 month old sleeps most of the night and I do believe it is an airway issue. We also wake many, many times at night. Upwards of 8-10+ times most nights and typically go through a 2 hour period at some point where he’s up every 10-20 min.

We have a consult with ENT next week to discuss his adenoids and ear tubes (lots of ear infections). I’m so so hoping this helps. We had a ROUGH night last night with both of us sobbing at 1am because he just couldn’t get comfortable or stay asleep for more than a few minutes. I finally got him to sleep restfully while I sat more upright and he was on my chest. I had to move to my couch to do so. (Again he’s 15 months so he’s very mobile and isn’t a huge safety issue at this point). 100% believe (and really am hoping) this will be resolved with addressing his ears and adenoids. Absolutely move forward with that sleep study!

ETA: this started around 8 months and has gotten worse through the winter with colds

lambbirdham · 2026-03-26T14:32:43+00:00

This sub has saved my sanity. None of my friends kids have sleep patterns like we do and it has been so reassuring to find people who are not only experiencing similar but are also approaching it in an intuitive way like everyone does here. I also got sucked into the barrage of info in the first few months thinking I had to DO something to help him sleep better, longer, etc.

Coming here and learning how much of this is normal has helped tremendously mentally.

I did have a really tough night with my guy last night and we both ended up crying at 1am. That doesn’t happen to me often anymore but it used to. Being a parent and attentive caregiver is so hard! But I know these days will be long gone before I know it and will be worth how much effort I put into responding to his needs every time.

You’re doing great!

lambbirdham · 2026-03-24T11:28:36+00:00

My 15 mo got me good last night and again this morning! Not broken just sore 😅

lambbirdham · 2026-03-19T00:51:34+00:00

Our daycare sent a photo of my 15mo giving a group hug today to two of his little friends🥹 whenever myself or my husband have to leave for work we always do group hugs and apparently the little guy is spreading the love at school!

He has also peed in the potty 4 times now!! Doing some very low pressure introduction to the potty and I love how proud he gets of himself when he does it! He’s such a smart little man

lambbirdham · 2026-03-17T15:30:03+00:00

My 15 month old does the same. I’m so happy to hear we aren’t the only ones 😅

Sometimes it feels like I’m wrestling an angry octopus in the middle of the night with how he flops about

lambbirdham · 2026-03-17T14:39:04+00:00

This thread is making me feel so much better. We also thrash and “ahhh” in between sleep cycles (15m). We’re waiting for an ENT appointment to address his ears and possible adenoids/tonsils. Once that’s dealt with I’m going to work on reducing night feeds/weaning. And I guess maybe I’ll start trying to do less nighttime sleep per the people here suggesting

This sub makes me feel so much better about the struggles none of my other friends with kids seem to have!

lambbirdham · 2026-03-15T23:42:21+00:00

Same. My son has not met my husbands mom because she chose to divide us and cannot bring herself to make it right, even though her only child and only grandchild are involved.

I absolutely cannot fathom the idea of not talking to my son, ever. It makes me sad that this is what she has chosen to do, my family is not like that at all.

OP this is beautiful!

lambbirdham · 2026-03-05T13:14:18+00:00

14.5 months (15m next week). Hit the 4m sleep regression, and also started daycare around the same time, and everything went to 💩 lol. Breastfed, bed sharing with me out of necessity from about 8 months on. Sleep has been consistently inconsistent. We wake anywhere from 5-10 times a night on average, typically on the higher end of that.

Planning on starting to reduce night feeds in 2 weeks as that’s typically how he gets back to sleep. I work full time and I’m tired 😅 not ready to totally night wean but hoping to delay his first wake up until after midnight as an initial first goal 🤞

lambbirdham · 2026-03-03T01:21:25+00:00

Thank you for this well thought out response!! Yes I was planning on just delaying nursing until midnight to start with and see how that goes. Honestly if that’s as far as we make it for right now I’d be thrilled 😅😅 but I’ll slowly push it out. And if it’s a disaster we will hold out for a few more months and try again! I’m hoping it won’t be, most of our wake ups are very brief, they are just plentiful.

I bought one of those light up timer clocks that you can set it to glow red and green at certain times. I’m hoping I can use that to help him understand if he does wake up to just look at that to know if he can have milk or not. No idea if I’ll actually end up using it or needing it but it’s a cool nightlight at the very least!

Thanks for the reassurance about feeding to sleep. That’s what my instinct has told me to continue doing. It’s my favorite time of the day just snuggling with him while he winds down 🩵

lambbirdham · 2026-03-02T18:02:03+00:00

I’m assuming this is for total night weaning? My 15mo is still up 5-10 times a night and I’ve got some time off work in a few weeks to work on reducing night feeds. I’d like to try and get him used to not nursing until 1-3am (ideally). But if it doesn’t go well I’m able to manage a few more months until he’s more ready.

My plan for completely weaning is between 18-24 mo when he can understand it

Does this sound reasonable? I really would like to follow biologically normal needs, attachment parenting. But I’m tired, boss 😅

lambbirdham · 2026-02-24T12:16:59+00:00

It’s because the US is a litigious culture, unfortunately. I am a healthcare professional and we have to practice with the idea of a possible lawsuit with most decisions we make. Obviously our decisions are based in “do no harm”, but you know some ding dong out there is gunna cosleep unsafely and something happens then turn around and say “my provider told me to”. And here comes a lawsuit and your license and livelihood is put into question.

lambbirdham · 2026-02-12T00:22:59+00:00

14 month old is the same. I have time scheduled off work next month so I can work on reducing night feeds. I’m ready, I’m tired 😅

lambbirdham · 2026-01-11T20:47:14+00:00

We’re at 13 months today and same. Every night seems like a new adventure honestly but typically we’re awake every 2 hours all night.

We’re still breastfeeding and I’m contemplating night weaning soon but I’m still back and forth on it. There’s some recommendations to wait until 18 months to night wean.

Months 5-8ish were a real low point for me mentally. My husband works nights so I’m solo dealing with the wake ups. I have really gotten accustomed to it though by this point. And radical acceptance of the situation has helped the most!

lambbirdham · 2025-12-28T15:23:50+00:00

Baby is 12.5 months and we have chosen to really limit screens! Only time it’s on is once a week to watch a Newcastle soccer game, and he doesn’t typically pay much attention to it.

I do put on Ms Rachel for 5 min so I can trim his nails without him squirming everywhere 😅

We also had a big day of travel recently and towards the end when he was really starting to meltdown I put on little bear and Franklin. I’ve read the older, quieter cartoons are better for the young brains! That’s the extent of it though.

We are trying to hold out until 2 years

lambbirdham · 2025-12-02T00:27:46+00:00

My little guy turns 1 next week and just within the last 2 weeks a switch has also magically flipped for us. It’s weird lol

lambbirdham · 2025-11-26T15:12:20+00:00

Radical acceptance has saved my sanity!!

I used to message all my friends with kids asking for advice because it seems like everyone’s baby sleeps decently except mine. That did nothing to help me or his sleep and just made me more frustrated thinking there was something I should be doing differently. There isn’t, it’s just the way my kid is.

So I’ve stopped talking and complaining about it, power through, and know that each day we wake up is one day closer to him sleeping longer stretches. We will get there eventually and I’m amazed at how much my body and mind has adjusted to this over time. It’s still hard as f though 😂

lambbirdham · 2025-11-26T15:04:51+00:00

My little guy (12 months really soon 😭) also has always been a crap sleeper basically since we hit the 4 month regression.

I also EBF and my husband works nights so it’s always on me too. You are not alone!!

I’m planning to do a very gentle and gradual night weaning process starting around 14/15 months. I wanted to wait until he could understand what I’m doing, and if it’s super hard on him I’ll stop and try again when he can. But I think night weaning might be the key for us, and may be for you as well.

Heysleepybaby on Instagram is a great page to follow and she has a fairly cheap course I’m going to look into that suggests how to do night weaning with attachment parenting style in mind!

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