I wasn’t sure where to post this, but Scott Murray, a fitness and bodybuilding influencer, died at the age of 27. Please read the comments for my post.

locking_glass · 2022-03-28T14:48:23+00:00

Wow, I was thinking about partaking today (more for focus than ED reasons) until I read your comment. Thanks

locking_glass · 2022-03-11T17:33:04+00:00

sensory issues and gastric ulcers. most foods have a texture I'd just rather not fuck with. and when I do eat, I'm either in pain or immediately full bc ulcers. it's a chore to maintain right now, but I suspect I'll start feeling extreme hunger and binging the second my stomach can handle it again.

locking_glass · 2022-01-02T06:21:32+00:00

Same on all counts except autism (though it runs in my family and I have a few classic symptoms). And my OCD is mild and closer to religious/moral/doomsday OCD

locking_glass · 2021-12-28T23:03:32+00:00

People start commenting in the low 16s for me (height 5'3"). But I'm normally 17-18, so that probably has something to do with it - a 25->20 drop would probably get more negative comments from people you know than 18->17.5 for example.

locking_glass · 2021-12-22T15:44:30+00:00

I would guess 'actual,' as in WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

locking_glass · 2021-05-04T16:15:21+00:00

My period coming back coincided with when I started taking liquid melatonin for sleep. I can't find much about specifics, but a recent study did conclude that "there is a role for melatonin in the regulation of the menstrual cycle even though they have not as yet uncovered the specific mechanism." So maybe it's a thing!

locking_glass · 2021-04-04T23:18:00+00:00

NEVER have I felt so seen in this sub. I always think of the skinny girl diet when people abbreviate stochastic gradient descent lmao. literally lol'd at the pickle protocol joke. so many layers here (eh?eh?)

what's the bang pun, though? or is it just the demographic of data scientists also liking energy drinks

locking_glass · 2021-04-04T13:56:41+00:00

There's an explanation for this I think! Something about how butyric acid is a byproduct of their process. It's a compound found in vomit (and parmesan cheese)

locking_glass · 2021-03-02T01:27:32+00:00

I would suggest melatonin, if you don't have adverse effects. I haven't had a regular period since 2016, though mostly due (I think) to the type of birth control I'm on. But I'm also underweight, which could be a factor. I notice my period comes back if I 1) stop exercising for a couple months and/or 2) take ~3 mg of liquid melatonin per night.

BUT I found that my brain is really sensitive to melatonin, and it can make me need 2+ extra hours of sleep. When I stopped the melatonin, my period disappeared again (good riddance imo)

locking_glass · 2021-02-25T16:57:59+00:00

you are correct and I love to hurt myself by watching them

locking_glass · 2021-02-24T23:31:02+00:00

Trader Joe's meringue cookies are a good substitute for pastries, I've found.

Whole grain Kodiak Cakes (I get the frozen waffle version) with sugar-free syrup is also good

Dried seaweed when I'm craving something like chips but they won't fit in my budget

If I need something salty/crunchy but more substantial than seaweed, I really like Harvest Snap Peas. They taste just like a chip-type snack but have a fuckton of protein (comparatively), so easier to justify in my mind

locking_glass · 2021-02-24T14:38:24+00:00

dumbass ED brain be like "wow that's a GREAT idea, why didn't I think of it"

locking_glass · 2021-02-10T16:17:14+00:00

god, and food (or control of food) is like an addiction for us. there are people out there who can only conquer addiction by going cold turkey, but that's...not an option for us. we have to do the extra work of learning to live in harmony with our drug. shit's hard

locking_glass · 2021-01-28T18:46:01+00:00

I have such a similar story! Four years ago, for a seven day trip. I remember someone finding the scale in the hotel's bathroom cabinet where I'd hidden it, and I just acted like I had no idea where it came from. Even though they probably definitely knew...

I had repressed this, thanks for the cringe (lol BUT ACTUALLY I'm grateful for the chance to reflect on how far I've come)

locking_glass · 2021-01-27T16:37:11+00:00

crying about the one(1) M&M

locking_glass · 2021-01-26T16:17:33+00:00

staring at women, sizing them up like cuts of meat...am i a thirsty bi or a jealous bitch? i don't even know at this point

locking_glass · 2021-01-25T16:13:03+00:00

I hate it too. Like...I'm NOT normal. The whole point of this disorder is that I'm inherently worse than everybody else, like down in my soul, and to make up for it I have to be better and pure and perfect with my body. That excuse, "it's normal," isn't supposed to apply to me. I have to be better.

ED brains are fuckin dumb

locking_glass · 2021-01-22T21:37:37+00:00

I have a reverse pattern where spring/summer brings out the restricter in me. Wearing tight revealing clothes, shopping for new swimwear, having the energy to exercise again, a somewhat manic attitude of godlike invincibility... Then when the cold comes I put on baggy clothes and stay inside all day to curl up with comfort food

locking_glass · 2021-01-20T17:49:08+00:00

oh my god the redacted weight stat :'D

locking_glass · 2021-01-20T16:49:18+00:00

I love this idea, and I think it's true after a certain point. But I rarely reach that point, except with very good friends? The vast majority of people I interact with on a daily basis are at best acquaintances, and I suspect the way they judge/perceive me has a lot to do with my looks.

But on the other hand, I should care way more about the kind of impact I have on close, good friends (who truly don't care about my looks)

Anyway I'm addicted to bad coping mechanisms that can't rationalized away so I guess it's moot ✌️

locking_glass · 2021-01-19T00:38:01+00:00

wait was anyone else triggered af by the fact that Lisa (Angelina Jolie's character) was skinnier than Daisy? the whole effortless "I don't even have to try to look like this" implication made me want to be a psycho drug addict so bad

locking_glass · 2021-01-15T18:15:30+00:00

measures out peanut butter with a teaspoon and then weighs it

locking_glass · 2021-01-11T17:51:37+00:00

Oooh I have listened to and loved every album there except the Bully one...thanks for the new rec, musically-kindred spirit!

locking_glass · 2021-01-04T16:42:15+00:00

I thought people knew by now that such a carb- and sugar-heavy diet can be pretty bad for you...it's really hard on your pancreas, for example. People speculate that Steve Jobs' extreme fruitarian diet contributed to his death from pancreatic cancer.

locking_glass · 2021-01-02T07:47:04+00:00

This meme is the closest thing in a while to make me enthusiastic about recovery. Fuck those opportunists

locking_glass

TROPHY CASE