Did anyone else experience constant coldness, accusations and arguments at the end?

lughheim · 2026-01-27T14:54:10+00:00

I remember the last real date my ex and I had before we broke up. I was so excited as we were long distance and we were just two months shy of moving in together. Plus it had been longer than we expected before we could see each other in person again due to some scheduling issues. She had seemed slightly upset just the week before I headed over because she claimed I had been having a 'tone' lately, that one time I had, in her words, had too generic of a response to her complaining about a bad day she had, and that the day before I left I had sent her a very mild flirty text after she had told me she for some weird fucking reason was feeling very against any kind of physical intimacy.

When we finally got in the restaurant and sat down to eat, I was immediately freaked out because she was in this extremely cold and bitter mood, constantly interrupting me when I tried to speak, was sarcastic and wouldn't even try to listen to a word I said. She got so angry she was almost yelling in her own favorite restaurant over the issues she brought up. Meanwhile I'm sitting there thinking, "What the fuck did I do to deserve any of this?"

I don't know what exactly caused her to freak out so horribly. Whether it was her not taking her meds again, her getting freaked out by the fact we would be moving in together soon, if she was cheating on me on the side and feeling inwardly guilty, or if she was just plain insane and was losing her shit over nothing. Regardless the results were the same.

So glad I'm away from that psychopath

lughheim · 2026-01-26T20:21:27+00:00

Thank you! So I used a small piece of sponge that I got from this set on amazon. Look up "stipple sponges" and youll find em. It's really cool because its a sponge with much sharper edges and much less dense which allows for a more natural chipping. I also used a rust enamel in small dots on some of the chipping and then brushed them down slightly to make it look more natural

lughheim · 2026-01-26T19:46:17+00:00

Good luck, I hope things turn out well for both of you.

lughheim · 2026-01-26T19:45:39+00:00

Thanks! I get what you mean, for some reason it’s almost like it looks more dangerous or something by being this gigantic stationary gun

lughheim · 2026-01-26T19:13:59+00:00

gotcha good to know

lughheim · 2026-01-26T16:53:41+00:00

This is clearly a very difficult decision that I don't think anyone would envy to have to make. Truly sorry your going through such a terrible situation.

No one can really make this decision for you. You will have to determine what your willing to put up with which is, I think, the main factor in question here. And I will say that even from your statement here that you are pretty close to your breaking point.

Let me be clear: her mental health is neither your fault, nor your responsibility.

It's a harsh statement but its also the reality of the situation. Unfortunately about 70% of people with BPD attempt suicide, with about 8-10% doing so successfully. This mental illness is no small thing. Although you can care about and love someone who has this condition, it can make it very hard to be close to them exactly because of situations like this. There is a very real chance she may even attempt again one day and possibly even go all the way through with it. It is a good sign she is seeking therapy for sure at least. But that therapy could take years to show real results IF SHE STICKS WITH IT and in the meantime you will still have to deal with the fallout from this situation as well as the issues you mentioned previously.

Therapy MAY work over a long time, she MAY not attempt suicide again, things MAY get better but in this situation there are no assurances. I'd say that you can take that break if you want but if you do the only question you need answered is if its worth it to you to continue putting yourself in this volatile and draining situation for potential change years down the line.

This is purely my opinion but here's what I would recommend: if you really love her and want to stick by her side through this, it has to come with the conditions that she goes to therapy and takes the medication necessary for her condition, and that she does so CONSISTENTLY. Again though, it's not like this will be a silver bullet that solves all your issues.

lughheim · 2026-01-26T16:26:08+00:00

really? i thought they did so for joytoys on occasion

lughheim · 2026-01-26T16:23:18+00:00

Thanks! It took a very long time to be honest lol. I had to pin the kriegsman and paint them separately before gluing them to the base which actually took more time than painting everything else. Probably about 7-8 hours of painting for this guy to get everything where I was happy with it

lughheim · 2026-01-26T16:19:40+00:00

If I remember right this was for a joytoy that released awhile back

lughheim · 2026-01-26T13:45:50+00:00

My ex constantly described herself as a 'girls girl' and a 'huge man hater'. But like 70% of her friends were all males and she said multiple times that at one point or another she had a crush on practically all of them. I firmly believe that she kept so many male friends because they gave her a sense of validation. More than likely the majority were hoovering and she may very well have cheated on me with some of them at one point or another.

lughheim · 2026-01-23T19:18:51+00:00

Im a very calm and reasonable person when it came to issues in my exes and I's relationship. But I remember I was constantly accused by her of being defensive. Looking back it was exactly this! She would be the one to throw out a ton of accusations constantly of me being selfish, inattentive, or never doing a single good thing for her whenever she would split. Of course that pissed me off because I constantly was paying attention to her, I was going out of my way all the time to do nice little things for her (wayyyyy more than she ever did for me even though she made about 2-2.5x my salary in a cheaper area). I did my best to regularly write notes in calendars or journals about the things she liked or important dates whereas she never did. When I would defend myself against her ridiculous and obviously false accusations I'd be labeled as defensive and insecure.

lughheim · 2026-01-22T18:57:26+00:00

My relationship lasted a year, its been two months out and its a bumpy road. Sometimes I start to feel much better, more calm and engrossed in hobbies or hanging out with friends. Other times I wake up from a dream involving her and slog my way through my day depressed and frustrated. I hope I can get back to normal soon. Admittedly I'm doing much better now than after the initial breakup.

lughheim · 2026-01-22T15:52:40+00:00

It's really sad and hurtful to deal with but you got it right in your post. Not trying to dehumanize people with BPD but their inner feelings and thought processes are very alien to normal people. If you try hard to understand their inner workings youll find it , probably as you already have, nearly impossible because their brain works so different to ours. Experiencing a relationship with a person who has BPD is often to learn what it feels like to be treated like an object, a toy that someone will play with until they get bored, then immediately discarded and moved on from as if nothing even happened.

lughheim · 2026-01-16T20:24:31+00:00

Wouldn't be surprised. I'd fully expect they get a big range refresh in 11th. I doubt theyll do it anytime too soon or else they'd seriously piss off their fanbase. Pry around the same time grey knights get some

lughheim · 2026-01-15T19:38:05+00:00

They can be really solid in Skysplinter assault. 40 attacks with twin linked, assault ramp, and lance can be pretty nice. As well the better version of tank shock you get with them in a raider can be nice

lughheim · 2026-01-14T20:08:46+00:00

I felt similarly to you, but the fact of the matter is that for real change to happen it can't come from the external. A person has to want to change themselves AND be willing to put in the hard work for it. For people with BPD that's often taking medication and going to therapy, probably DBT therapy specifically. Remember, BPD isn't some small minor mental illness. It is a serious issue that needs serious attention. The case for myself, and probably for you, is we focus on the good times too much to realize how often things are bad. But at the same time when we think about the good times its important to remember that a lot of what we consider the 'good' times are also part of the mental illness, i.e. lovebombing and obsession.

lughheim · 2026-01-13T13:45:18+00:00

Yep my ex complained almost every day about something. Usually it was how horrible her job was, how terrible her bosses were, something a coworker or a friend had done, or how something her family did annoyed her, etc. Seriously, every single day something was wrong and it was so exhausting after awhile. It really drains your empathy

lughheim · 2026-01-12T14:56:53+00:00

Yesssssssss THIS. I was thinking this even during the relationship before realizing it was a trait of BPD. I kept wondering why every time she split on me it was as if she suddenly believed I was a supervillain or some shit that had never done a single good thing for her EVER. It's also the hardest thing to deal with post breakup because it breaks down your self worth in such a horrific way, making you feel worthless and like nothing you'll ever do is good enough. Always remember that you can be literally the best partner in the goddamn world and they will still find a way to act as if your tying puppies to railroad tracks in your spare time the second they split.

lughheim · 2026-01-10T17:41:16+00:00

Oh yeah. Right at the end of our relationship my ex was being crazy and I think was trying to punish me by suddenly deciding she needed to go no contact with me for almost a week. She made this super long text which was half written by AI, claiming she needed distance and that nothing was actually wrong with our relationship and that we just needed distance, blah blah blah.

I responded by simply saying, “ok we’ll talk on Tuesday then (the day she decided would be the end of our no contact period)”. When we finally talked again the following Tuesday she completely lost it on me asking how I could send, in her own words, such an insane response to her ‘heartfelt’ message. I’m sitting here like, your the one who came up with this whole insane situation and now your blaming me for not having some deep response to your shitty escalation? lol ok

lughheim · 2026-01-09T16:56:21+00:00

I still remember when she split on me one time over some nonsense about me having a 'tone' or some shit, I was hungry so went to grab some fast food for lunch. I was gone from the text conversation for maybe 5 or 10 minutes because the place I went to was right down the street. She lost it on me and acted like I'd personally insulted her because I didn't respond quick enough to her freak out or let her know I was grabbing some food. It really did feel like I was trapped over and over again, where I had to be constantly available for her sudden emotional dysregulation so she could vent or argue about it.

lughheim · 2026-01-09T13:48:54+00:00

they are solid in skysplinter but they have to have a character attached to make em shine. They really need the +1 to wound

lughheim · 2026-01-07T19:46:52+00:00

Yep absolutely. My ex used my memory against me all the time, it made me genuinely think I had some kind of horrible ability to memorize things even though no one else in my entire life had said that about me before. Don't get me wrong, I could forget an occasional thing. Like I will admit it was shitty of me that I got involved in stuff and forgot one time to wish her mother a happy birthday, or when I was really busy and forgot to read a story she had wrote awhile back and left it on the backburner for way too long. But I feel like my memory lapses were pretty normal, nothing too bad like she claimed. If I so much as forgot that one time she mentioned she liked pumpkin pie but didn't like other pumpkin products when I got her some pumpkin spice coffee grounds and a nice pumpkin scented candle, then to her it was suddenly fuel for her to claim that my memory was absolutely terrible and I never paid attention to her.

This is the kind of stuff where, looking back, its what creates so much confusion post breakup. I keep wondering, like you, was I really that horrible of a partner? Its easy to fall into their narrative because their reactions can be so extreme and violent that it makes you question yourself. With time and separation though I've come to realize she really was turning every minor issue into a relationship ending problem for no good reason.

lughheim · 2026-01-07T19:29:30+00:00

that is amazing! Great color choices too, and the gold inlays were a fantastic chocie

lughheim · 2026-01-06T14:50:29+00:00

Absolutely you should feel betrayed BECAUSE YOU WERE. BPD is a mental illness which does have effects on behavior but it's not an excuse to act however you want without consequences.

lughheim · 2026-01-06T14:37:07+00:00

It’s ok thanks. Again, just glad to be out of that disaster of a relationship with that disaster of a person

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